Rachel_A
Well I guess this it. It's actually going to happen. Until now, what seemed to be impossible is right around the corner. My weight has always been a great tabu that I've never been able to admit to myself, let alone others. Now I tell everyone how much I weigh because no one can believe that I am a candidate for gastric bypass (RNY) which is sceduled in 8 days. Everything is all approved and ready to go. I am so sinnacle, I need a little lift. I've been let down SO many times before. I feel like something is going to happen the day before my surgery and I won't be able to have it done. I have already been rescheduled once. At 5' 2 and 242 lbs theres no doubt why Im a candidate for this surgery. Im not getting a whole lot of support from people. My mother is convinced that the diet pills she's on will do the same thing for her that surgery will do for me.. "Alli". My dad said, "I hope you know what your doing". My roomate is scared but totally prepared to do whatever it is that I may need after surgery. Some people are "making fun" of how much I 'll be able to eat afterwards. My dad suffered a massive heart attack at age 42. He just lost his job due to diabetes. My mother (53) has arthritis so bad in her knees that she cant walk. My cholesterol is 300!!! Im only 30 years old. My feet swell like balloons. My future looks grim at this rate. It seems like on average I gain around 10 lbs per year. Ive always had this 30 lb "stigma" that I hit when I diet.. it seems like I take off roughly 30 lbs and struggle tooth and nail just to do that - I plateau - give up, quit, gain back the weight and more. It's an all too familiar story for most - Im sure. I've always been self indulgent. Once I find something I like, I do it over and over and over again - food most and foremost. Im tired of the 30 lb monster, Im tired of feeling terrible about myself and most of all - I need to prove to EVERYONE, including myself that I can overcome this "food addiction". Im nervous but who isnt 8 days before surgery? For once, Im going to follow thru with something and FIGHT! Even when you're dieting people will tend to "dare" you to eat things you shouldn't. This time I can say, My stomach is the size of a medicine cup, I think I'll pass". I'll get some pictures on here as soon as I can. Thanks for reading.
