Radgalut
I have spent the last several months thinking about gastric bypass and what it will mean for and to me. Now with a surgery date finally set I need to express some of the ideas that have been floating around in my head. I want to preface this by saying I have a surgery date of September 12th, and I will be having a laparoscopy gastric bypass.
I have always struggled with my weight and as of a couple of months ago I weigh 350 lbs, that is the same as 2 normal people. When I graduated from college in 1990 I wanted to join the peace corp but I was not eligible unless I weighed less than 200 lbs, at that time is was about 230? So I was already over weight and since then I have gain an addition 120 lbs, not the right direction.
I know I eat for a lot of reasons but at least for me one of my big issues is because of loneliness and boredom. I have been single for a long time and while I don’t regret it there are lots of times that being single means you are lonely. I also have to admit that while I try to be friendly, in general I am more comfortable alone than in groups. While that may seem contradictory, it is the reality of who I am. I like my independence and value my time spent alone with my cats, but that same thing can also trigger me to go on an eating binge (mainly lots of carbs) potatoes, pasta, ect.
As an important side note I need to also acknowledge my huge dependence on fast food. When I was growing up my parents had a fast food restaurant and that is where I spent lots of time. We ate burgers and fries most nights for dinner, and we always had access to the soda machine and ice cream machine. So while I might not have had lots of friends I had all the comfort food I wanted. I am not trying to blame my parents for my problems because I was 14 when they sold the restaurant and I while I was probably a little over weight I was not obese. I became obese mostly as an adult. I probably weighted about 175 when I graduated from High School.
I have tried to loose weight several times and part of the issues is that once I hit a plateau after a while I give up. Once that happens I eventually gain back all the weight I lost and then more. I have tried to stay very active and mostly I have done ok, but the last few years have been more of a challenge.
Moving to Salt Lake was a real challenge for me. While I have never had a huge number of friends I did have several good friends and things were fairly good except that I didn’t have a job. So I moved to SLC, I loved my job but it was very stressful and I didn’t deal well with the stress. I was going to the gym but my eating got way out of control. I continued to focus on exercise and while that was good I was not dealing with the other part of the problem food. I had several bad bouts of depressions which did not help the situation.
One of the biggest problems I had moving to SLC was meeting people and developing friendships. I really struggled with that for several years and it has only been in the last couple of years that I have found and made some great friends.
I am so very lucky that I heard about a Belly dance festival. I even said I wanted to be a belly dancer as a little kid, but I had never taken classes because of my work schedule. Well at the festival I learned of the large BD community in SLC and I meet my first teacher, Amanda. What a huge change that has made in my life. I have been welcomed into the community and they have made me realise that I am a beautiful, woman. I now dance regularly as part of Troupe Ostara. One thing I can say about all of them is that it might have taken me a while to find them but I was very blessed to find some amazing women and men that I now consider friends and family.
So now back to my reality. I am officially classified as morbidly obese, with a BMI of about 45. I have several comorbidies, including high blood pressure, depression, sleep issues, irregular periods, and a high risk of blood clots. I have tried for years to convince myself that while I have a weight problem I am generally healthy. While is some cases that is true, I have several serious medical issues that I need to address.
Once I decided to investigate weight loss surgery I did some research and learned that many people have to struggle to get insurance to approve surgery, and most have to prove that they have tried a medical supervised program for 6-12 months, have a psychological evaluation and lots of people spend years getting the surgery approved. Mine was approved less than a week. You might view this as lucky or good karma, what it made me realize is that the insurance company figures that my health is so high risk that they think spending $20,000 is a good deal. They figure my health problems will cost them lots more money and they reason they use the term morbid is that I was on my way to death because of my weight. When you sit down and think about that it is a very powerful statement of just how unhealthy I am.
Ok so here I sit looking at the situation I face after surgery. My insurance company realized that drastic measure were necessary to address my current situation. We are not talking about an easy solution here. Prior to surgery, I have to go on a restricted diet (1000 calories) for 2 weeks to help shrink my liver to decrease the risks of complications from surgery. Then there is the whole surgery issue, while it is safer and the risks are lower there are still risks.
They will have me up and walking the day of surgery and I will have to keep up a consistent exercise routine. They recommend walking 5 days a week for about 2 miles. Then there are the vitamins, and mineral supplements that I will have to take every day for the rest of my life. Some of these like the B-12 are critical or I may loose cognitive abilities.
Once surgery is complete my stomach will be the size of a small egg and I will be limited to eating 1-2 ounces of food in a meal. Assuming there are no complications I will basically be on a clear liquid diet for 3 weeks ( 500 calories) and then I spend the next 3 months on soft foods and learning more about what foods my I can eat on a 70 % protein, 30% veg diet. I will also have to drink 64 oz of water every day, by sipping very slowly, but I am not allow to have liquid with meals or 30 min before or after eating. This will involve lots of testing of food to see what my replumbed body will accept with out pain, dumping, or vomiting not a pleasant picture.
Granted while this is going on I will be loosing weight relatively quickly, but lots of it is because of the severe calorie restriction, and required exercise. In a year I should have lost the majority of my excess weight and will then have to learn how to eat in a manner to maintain my new healthy weight and not regain the weight and ruin the entire effort.
I will basically have to follow a diet of mostly protein (70%) and vegetables (30%) for the rest of my life. I will no longer be able to consume carbonated beverages, and alcohol will not be allowed for at least a year. I will never be able to drink much again because the surgery will change how my body reacts to alcohol. There are probably a lot of foods that I will not be able to eat in the future and I will always have to watch what I eat to ensure that I do not regain the weight.
Looking at all of this you may wonder why I am still going through with the surgery. It is very simple; I have reached a point where I have to take this drastic measure to live. This is not a decision based on wanting to be skinny and looking good but a mater of life or death.
