rashmi

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Hello Everyone,
Sorry I haven't written earlier. The internet here is so poor. Occasionally I am able to get on to the message board but I am rarely able to post. Today the internet is having a good day so I will try to send this in. 
On the day I left for India I officially lost 140 lbs. On my one year anniversary I reached my first goal of 143 lbs lost. I can't tell you how thrilled I am. And, how healthy I feel. 
When I arrived at the orphanage after my one year sabbatical the children and staff looked like they had seen a ghost. They slowly circled around me staring like they had seen a ghost. Some laughed whenever I looked at them, others simply looked shocked. Finally I yelled, "I'ts me, it really is me". It took time for them to adjust but after a few days everything was back to normal. I get similar reactions when visiting friends and shopkeepers in our nearby town. My favorite reaction is from the village women. After reintroducing myself they tisk in pity telling me that before I was strong and healthy, now I am weak and sickly. I guess it's all relative. 
It is harder to maintain healthy eating habits in India. the diet lacks protein so I have to be very creative. I brought many jars of protein drinks in my luggage. Before leaving America I was an exercise fanatic. Here I am exercising but it is difficult to maintain the same intensity. I also have more responsiblity and stress than during my one year sabbatical in America. 
Still, I am satisfied so far. I have developed a decent routine and will work hard to maintain it. I am busy recreating my wardrobe of Indian clothes and loving every minute of it. Before I could only wear outfits specially made by tailors. Now I can buy ready made clothes. 
I am heartened to see all the new faces on the message board. For those sitting on the fence, the VSG was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Both in terms of my health and compassion for myself. 
I will post photos when I can. 
All the best,

Hello Everyone,
So much has happened in the last five weeks it's been a whirlwind. My last post was just before I left for my walking marathon in Anchorage, Alaska. I trained for 4 months with Team in Training which is a fabulous program. I was so nervous on the day of the walk but by the end, 7 hours and 22 minutes later I was sore but high as a kite. As I crossed the finish line I reflected that one year earlier I was 137 pounds heavier and hadn't even made the decision to have WLS. Now I have completed a marathon. What a thrilling year it has been.
After the marathon I traveled around Alaska. Being thin allowed me to participate in so many activities. I river rafted, heli-hiked, drove an ATV visited Denali and went on a small boat 3 day cruise to see the glaciers. It was a hoot. In each and every activity I had to remind myself that I can do these things now. No body laughed at me, looked dubious (OK, the ATV guide looked worried when I paniced at the first river crossing) nor did I feel I was a freak.
This was my first challenge eating beyond the stable program I developed at home. I took some food with me but mainly ate the provided food. One night I went out to dinner with friends. I ordered salad, ate a small amount and left the rest, the main dish, ate some and packed the rest and desert, ate 3-4 bites and left the rest. It think it is the first normal meal of my life.
That said, I did gain a few pounds from the trip. After the marathon the travel was fairly sedentary and some of my old food habits returned. I was concerned but when I returned I got back to my old routine of exercise and the eating program I had in place before. The pounds dropped off and I realized that all was not lost. The VSG allowed me to return to basics so I could lose the weight. The tool is still in place, Now I know I can lose weight when I want. I equate it with gaining a few pounds at holiday season. Afterwards people exercise a bit more and eating with more care and the weight comes off. In the past I never gained just a few pounds and never was able to take off what I gained. Now, with the VSG that is different. Another weight of worry slowly slipped off my back.

Last October, when I was two months post op, I decided I would end my one year sabbatical by walking a marathon in Alaska with Team in Training. The marathon in Anchorage was a triple win situation, it promotes physical activity, is service oriented by raising money for Leukemia and Lymphoma research and gave me the opportunity to travel to Alaska, something I never felt I could do when I was carrying so much weight. I started training for the marathon in February and now the time has come. I leave on Thursday and walk the 26.2 mils on Saturday. After that I will travel for 8 days then fly to Reno to meet my daughter for her volleyball tournament. I will be gone for 18 days, a very long trip for me. While traveling I will visit Denali and take a cruise to see those fast disappearing glaciers for a few days. I have also signed up for several excursions, sea kayaking, river rafting, a helicopter hiking tour where they take you by helicopter to the back woods of Denali to hike around and an ATV tour. (I get to drive my own ATV up through a valley to a glacier lake).
I am nervous about being gone for so long. My eating schedule has always been carefully regulated which I won't be able to do as well 18 days on the road. I think it's a good opportunity to see how I can function in the greater world though. I have lots of protein packed!
One year ago I could have never dreamed of a trip like this. I wouldn't have dared to dream. One year ago I hadn't decided on WLS and was in so much mental and physical anguish. It is shocking how much can change in one year. For those of you on the fence, go for it, WLS is the best gift you can give yourself.

Hello Everyone,
Today is my nine month post op anniversary. What a 9 months it has been. I also saw Dr. Cirangle this past week as well as a plastic surgeon for a consultation. It was a big WLS week.
I have now lost 130 pounds. I am thrilled, relieved and occasionally worried. I know it's a weird combination.
As many of you know I am on a one year sabbatical from my job managing an orphanage in India. When Dr. Cirangle demanded that commitment I couldn't imagine leaving my life's work for a year but I needed to lose weight and decided to place my trust in the process. I have absolutely no regrets.
There is lots of good news. My hair stopped falling out. I am training for a walking marathon. I have discovered I have an inner athlete and love exercising. That is once I found the type of exercise I love to do. Preop I was a size 26, 3x and may have been more, I stopped looking. Now I wear a size 10 pants and medium to large shirt.  I am off blood sugar, blood pressure and asthma medication. My blood work is perfectly normal.
For the first time I discussed goal weight with Dr. Cirangle. Until now I couldn't even contemplate reaching goal. He suggested 140 which would give me a normal BMI for the first time since I was 10 years old. He did mention I could go to 130 since I am returning to India where I won't have such good food choices but I will stick with 140 and then reevaluate. I don't need to be skinny, just healthy. FYI, I am 5'3" tall. To my utter amazement I am now only 13 pounds from goal. Dr. C says I will reach goal in the next few months and since he hasn't been wrong yet I am confident it will happen. But honestly, if my weight loss stopped here it would be enough.
I mentioned that I am a occasionally worried. Now that I am 9 months post op I am a bit shocked at how much I can eat and how much I choose to eat at times. I do worry about the future and wonder if I will sabotage myself in the long term. I can see that some of my previous eating habits are slowly returning and worry about sabotaging myself in the end.
It is finally time for me to start thinking about returning to India. I want to return but I also know it will be harder to find proper food choices and to maintain an intense exercise routine. I worry that I will fall into my previous bad habits.
Still, it's hard to diminish the joy of losing 130 lbs. For those of you considering the VSG treat yourself kindly. Stop berating yourself and recognize that life long obesity is a medical condition that requires a medical solution. Your weight really, really isn't your fault. The VSG has given me my life back. It's tjust hat simple.
All the best to the wonderful people on this message board. While alone in India I will be counting on you for support.

It has been seven months since my surgery. What a thrilling ride it has been. 

The first six months everything happens so fast. After six months the weight loss slows down and the desire for food returns. Not returned as it was before, but certainly more than the first six months. Now I nibble and I can eat more. My roughest time is the one hour of TV that I end my day with. There is something about TV and eating that goes hand in hand for me. 

I had my first melt down in many months. It wasn't just a nibble. It was a full fledged melt down. It was interesting that my sleeve didn't stop me in the moment but I did feel horrible the rest of the day and the next day. I recovered and moved onwards without another blip but it showed me that I need to keep refined carbs out of the house. That may stay with me the rest of my life. Many "normal" people have that problem and I am OK with it. It's still about tricks and strategies to manage eating properly. I was proud that I was able to put the melt down episode behind me. 

For over two weeks now I have played around with the same two pounds. At first I figured it for a stall but now I am beginning to worry. I exercise a lot  but I am still not losing.  I may need to reevaluate what I am eating although  I feel I am doing the right things so I am not too worried about the lack of weight loss. 
Mainly,  I am so thrilled with my new life I have little time to be worried. I celebrated my six month anniversary by skydiving (see posted photos). Yesterday I ran 1/4 mile without stopping. That was huge for me. Even in my most athletic days I was never, ever, a runner. I do lots of exercise, spin class, personal trainer 2x a week, walking, etc. I love every minute of it and so thrilled I can do it again. I feel I am doing all the right things to improve my overall health. My next project is walking a marathon in Anchorage Alaska. I have joined TNT, a training program with the Leukema and Lymphoma Society. This program is a triple win situation, good cause, physical exercise and allows me a trip to Alaska, something I have always wanted to do but never felt I could when I was carrying so much weight. If you are interested please visit my training web site at http://www.active.com/donate/tntsvmb/rashmi.
 
I miss my children and work in India every day.  In my first consultation Dr. Cirangle said he wouldn't operate on me unless I stayed home from India for one year. He said, "If I stay home for one year I can return for 40 years." My one year sabbatical ends in August and I am already starting to consider what I will eat with a diet that has very little protein in it. 

Mainly I feel emotional relief. It is so hard to live knowing that I was destroying my health and couldn't stop the downward spiral.  Now I have given myself a second chance at a new life.I am much lighter both physically and emotionally. I realize now how little of this was my fault.  To those who are considering WLS, stop beating yourself with diets, shame and guilt. Obesity is a disease that is heavily rooted in biological factors, often beyond our control. It's OK to use medical intervention, it really, really isn't cheating.

My gratitude is deep to this message board, Dr. C and to my friends and community that have supported me throughout. 

Rashmi

People often ask me how I feel after losing 100+ lbs. I rhapsodize on the physical benefits and happily list off all the activities I can now do. I also tell them what an emotion relief it is. It is so hard emotionally to live with obesity. The knowledge that my health is spinning out of control, understanding the ramifications of that and still not being able to control my eating. I was absorbed with the pain and concern with that. Obesity takes up so much mental energy. When offered a chair my first thought would be, will I fit, or, will I break the chair. It was like that with everything and ate away at any energy I had. And that's not even touching on the shame issue, an emotion that has been prominent for way too many years of my life causing so much emotional pain.
I am so happy I had the VSG. I feel empowered that I took control of my life. I am proud of myself. I am extremely relieved and can enjoy life now.
Yesssss!

Hello Everyone,

 

On Wednesday I saw Dr. C for my six month follow up. As of today, my official 6 month anniversary, I have lost 107 pounds.

Dr. C was satisfied with my progress. I told him I was losing slower once I reached the 100 lb milestone and wondered if my intensity is less or it’s a natural process. He said some of both, which I agree with.

He said it will take six more months to lose the remaining 40 lbs and that if I lose less than 8-10 lbs a month I need to reevaluate what I am eating.

He also raised my goal weight to a BMI of 24-26. I had never discussed my goal weight with a doctor. In the beginning it was to far fetched to be taken seriously. I just wanted to lose any amount of weight.

It is hard to believe I am now 6 months post op. I am now on the downhill side to returning to . My body has changed so much. My life has changed so much.

1 – I am now off all diabetes medicine.

2 – I haven’t used my asthma inhaler since surgery.

3 – I am taking a fraction (1/5^th) of my previous BP meds. My last BP reading was   110/60 so I will soon be lowering the meds once again.

4 – I am no longer taking a diuretic in conjunction with the BP meds.

5 – I have lost almost 19 BMI points

6 – I can now shop in regular stores. I have said my final goodbyes to specialty woman’s stores.

7 – I walked miles and miles each day, attend classes at the gym and work with a personal trainer. I love every minute of it.

8 – The daily mini wows are far too numerous to list but a constant pleasure to experience.

9 – I feel fabulous.

 

There are a few negatives to report

1 – My hair is falling out. I was prepared for this to happen but it’s still shocking.

2 – I am always cold and NEVER was before.

3 – Sometimes I see shadows of my former food behavior and worry about the future. But that is the future and not what is happening in the present.

4 – My weight loss is slower and fluctuates more often. I hope this is normal.

 

I hope this is helpful to all those considering the VSG. Thank you to all who went before me and gave me encouragement along the way.

 

Today is Christmas, my first in America in ten years. Last night my extended family got together. Many saw me for the first time since surgery. It was so much fun. I flitted around the room to compliments all evening. I continue to feel great and look forward to today, another large gathering. 
Merry Christmas to all.
Rashmi