Ready2BNActiveMom
A New Jersey native, I moved to Virginia in July 1996 with my then boyfriend to work as a government contractor. We were engaged in the Fall of 1996. We were married in May of 1998 and two boys followed in 2002 and 2004. The pounds were always hard to lose, from the time I was about 17 and my hypothyroidism was diagnosed. Believe me, I am not saying it is ALL the thyroid! I also had NO help from parents on healthy eating, so I didn't know you had to burn what you ate until it was already VERY difficult. Thanks to a few helth-conscious friends, I worked out for a while in my mid to late teens. And after a high school gym coach introduced us to the weight room, I discovered how much I LOVED it. It helped being one of the strongest girls, too, I admit! I used ot bench press my weight and then some and doing the leg press was invigorating!
I gained a little here and there in my late teens. But it was not until my thyroid went out of control (my fault-irresponsibility and immaturity resulted in my not taking my pills as prescribed) that the weight really started sticking. As a result of the irregular thyroid levels, I bloated up to a very puffy bride. I was still happy with my life though, in fact, my face hurt so much the night of my wedding from smiling so much. I was in love!
Then came the horrprs of 9/11 with my husband being a Pentagon survivor and friends from back home in Jersey narrowly escaping with their lives. Just six days later we would discover we were expecting our first son. Earlier the same year, my company announced a move to Chicago. I was not going there (no offense to Chicagoans) so, the resulting depression from the lay off from my job got things going in a downturn. It really stunk too because I had just started coming into my own at that job. I was in control of the marketing and advertising and really learning a lot. Staying home was a blessing-but a dietary curse. I lost all the 18 pounds I had gained with the pregnancy, but sitting at home did NOT help my waistline one bit.
Years of battling depression from my weigh issues and not being able to find work before I started showing only created more weigh issues! I would not start working for someone only to go out on permanent maternity leave-that's not cool! So I used food as my therapist, my comfort, eating what I wanted when I wanted. And the rest is familiar to most- I got too big to be comfortable in my own skin, avoided social situations, didn't keep in touch with old friends because I did not feel as though I deserved it. I never bought clothes unless they were cheap ones from a discount retailer again, because I felt like a failure who did not deserve nice things. Retail therapy did not help my marriage, nor did my often pissy mood. But things were about to change...
I looked into Lap Band surgery when our youngest son was just an infant. The mortality stats were improving and I thought I was ready. I got so far as the initial consult and then got scared. What if I died... my boys would never remember me! What if I got relly messed up... what would my husband do? The "What Ifs" got the best of me and I was clearly not mentally ready for such a dramatic change.
As the weigh climbed on and off, I struggledf to find a "diet" that would work and make me thinner. I did have some success-with the Slim-Fast Diet and two rounds of Atkins where I lost about 40-45 pounds each time. But the minute I stopped the SF shakes and bars, or even LOOKED at a biscuit on Atkins, the pounds returned... with reinforcements!
So in 2008, my husband was approaching his milestone 40th (yes, there is an age difference!), he decided to get serious about his health. His family has not been dealt good gene cards-arthritis, bad knees, hips, autoimmune issues, to name a few. So, he KNEW he had to get the weight off-the "writing was on the wall", especially with his knees crackling and grinding. So, we decided to do this together. I was 31, approaching 32 and just wanted to be around to see my boys grow up.
So we started the insurance circus..jumping through all the hoops they put before you. Some of it I believe is to test your resolve-do you really want to do this? Others I see the benefit in having, like the Psych Eval. You don't want a metally unstable or person without a supportive group aroudn them going into this surgery thinking their problems are solved. But the 6 month surpervised nutrition class... ours was ridiculous! Sure it was guaranteed to provide all the required information on how to eat healthy, but most of it was a review from high school health class. Other stuff was irrevelant-food pyramid-PLEASE! But we did it anyway so that we could cross that off the presurgical checklist. Tommy was approved and received a date of September 30, 2008, well in advance of his 40th birthday. Even though he wouldn't be able to eat birthday cake, he was more excited about the gift he was giving himself. I was a few months behind and eventually got a "penciled in" date of November 18th.
Then Tommy got sick. Bronchitis progressed to pneumonia. He went to the pulmonolgist, got a steoid shot and nearly passed out. Just shy of 40, he took his first (and hopefully only) ambulance ride a few blocks away. Funny thing is, he was in the ER on September 30; only he was supposed to be two floors up recovering from his RNY surgery, not having his PulseOx and breathing measured hourly! So his date was pushed back, delaying mine as well. We decided that six weeks was a good time frame to have between our surgeries. This way in case he took a little longer getting back to work, or needed my help in his recovery, I would be healthy enough to do it. Little did we know how the order of things would make such a difference (more on that later). So Tommy's new date was set as November 11, 2008 at 3 p.m. Not the best time of day since you are fasting, but hey, it was going to happen. My new date was pushed to December 9, 2008, only four weeks later. We decided to do it because I had fallen into a bit of a depression, sick of my looks, not having clothes fit, being tired all the time, etc. Tommy even offered to switch surgery dates. Luckily, we did not. His surgery day came and other than a delay of two hours, his surgery was textbook. The delay was caused by the previous patient. The surgeons doscovered a hernia while she was in for a RNY. So they had to repair that. Since doing an RNY was now out of the question, they performed a Lap Band rather than leave her with no weigh loss help. My husband ran into her during their laps in the hallway and that's how he found out the cause for his delay. She was a little bummed about not getting the RNY, but was glad the surgeons did SOMETHING. Many let the hernia surgery heal, then decide how to proceed.
So he was home after three night, only staying the extra because of the gas pains. He wanted to make sure he could handle himself at home and the pain was too great at that time. So he stayed. He was moving well for what he had just been through and was taking his protein shakes like a man. No pun intended. In nine days, he went to a function at our youngest son's preschool. And even though he could not eat anything, he was able to drive himself there and enjoy the four year old entertainment! He went back to work the next day and never had any set backs. I was another story.
I bartered with my surgeon about the liquid diet. Since my surgery was scheduled for December 9, that would mean missing Thanksgiving and drinking a shake instead. I don't think so! I know, some of you reading this are like, well, how hrd can that be when you consider what you're getting in return? I'll tell you. My mother-in-law can cook. When I say cook, I mean like Paula Deen cook. Delicious food... Southern, Italian, Hungarian, you name it-she can cook it. And I'm talking an authentic cook. You have a bare pantry? In twenty minutes she can-find-the-staples-for-a-meal-and-have-it-done-in-an-hour-cook. Seriously. So my "Last Supper" was to be at her house, helping her cook her famous Thanksgiving Dinner, turkey, ham, sweet potato souffle, youname it, it was on the table. So I got a two day reprieve from the doctor to start my liquid diet late. But a monkey wrench was thrown into our plans. My mother in law fell ill and she was in no shape to cook, let alone have us traipsing through her house. So I wound up going to the grocery store Tuesday night, buying a turkey and all the trimmings. It was delicious, I "inherited" her cooking skills (through marriage of course!), but it definitely was not Ma's Thanksgiving. Oh well. At least I got to scarf candied yams, turkey, gravy, buttered rolls, etc. with abandon. My husband, three weeks post-op, ate less than two tablespoons of food and was full. Weird, but wonderful too.
So liquid diet weight loss came to thirteen pounds, bringing me to 290. I was finally under 300 pounds, but only because I was STARVING!!! So prior to Surgery Day (during pre-registration), I signed all the paperwork listing the possible side effects, dangers and complications never thinking twice. My surgery itself was textbook, having taken place on December 9. 2008 at 8 a.m. I was a little nervous, and cried in the pre-op suite, worrying that I would never see my kids again. I wrote letters to family members that luckily will never be read. But my RNY surgery was only the beginning...
My struggle began after I returned home from the RNY. I too stayed an extra night to be sure I was physically ready to handle being at home. Only a day and a half later I would find myself in the ER with unbelieveable abdominal pains. I'll spare you the details to suffice it to say that I was not keeping down anything... not even water or anti-nausea pills. 'Nuff said. So after ANOTHER upper GI, it was revealed that I had a kink in my bowels. So after a few days in the hospital to let the inflammation from all the reappearances of my pills, surgery was scheduled. Unfortunately, that meant staying in the hospital for Christmas. I would miss Christmas with my sweet boys. My middle sister had just visited from New Jersey and brought me a little tabletop Christmas Tree. Little did we know it would be my CHRISTMAS DAY Tree! But I had to get better for the boys--and myself. I went home on December 28th and felt much better. We celebrated Christmas that afternoon (I took a short nap while the boys ate lunch). Something wonderful: My boys (then 4-1/2 & 6-1/2) NEVER ONCE bothered my husband for any Christmas presents. On Christmas morning, they each got to open the ones my sister had left durnig her visit, but they wanted to "wait for Mommy to open presents". How sweet! And I felt fine, for a day and a half, that is.
The very next day , more pain, more "revisiting" from my meds, and another visit to the ER. Yet another bowel constriction that requried surgery to repair. Things were going down fine, so I could eat for a day, and I seemed clear to go home. But things were not flowing properly, causing things to "back up" in essence, thus causing pain. So another surgery after a few more days to let inflammation go down and that "should fix things this time" said the surgeons. I spent New Years Eve in the hospital. I was glad to see 2008 go and only hoped that 2009 held better days. I got sent home with a G-tube. Great! :-( And it was positioned right under my left breast so anytime I sat up, moved or leaned forward, I pushed on it and it felt horrible!!! I went home for eight days and ate food, took pills, slept okay. I woke up on January 10th with severe back pain. Weird. I thought I would have gut pain, but not back pain. this was not just sore back stuff, like from lifting too much stuff or doing it the wrong way. It was stabbing pain--as if someone were stabbing me with a Samurai sword. Excruciating. It got so bad that I could barely lean over and pick up my water. Then it got worse. I threw the TV remote, uttered an expletive and then another pain shot through me. I yelled out loud; there was no holding it in this time. That was the last straw for my husband. He said, "That's it. We're going to the hospital." I protested, not wanting to see the place again, but luckily, he insisted. I felt better on the ride up (of course) and said "Do you think we should just turn around and head home? I'm feeling a lot better. I haven't had any of those pains since we got in the car." Even luckier than him taking me in the first place, was the fact that he did not listen and did not turn the car around. The ER was notified of my recent history and surgery and ordered a chest x-ray. I had no other symptoms-no numbness, tingling or weakness. No heart palpitations, sweating, etc. but the desk nurse sent for an immediate cehst x-ray to rule out heart attack and other issues. While we waited for the films to come back, I set the boys lunch up on a clean counter. (I had packed it quickly as we left-they were just about to eat lunch). They ate while my husband and I waited. The films showed two Pulmonary Emboli (PEs) in my right lung. They had likely traveled from my leg, but there was not telling. Here I am, 32, with a G-tube draining into a bag attached to my leg and TWO PEs! Un-freakin-believeable! So, protocol says to transfer me immiediately to ICU-scary. I thought I was going to die. They said I was lucky they caught it, that we came in when we did. Because they normally do not find these until it's too late (in an autopsy). SO, good thing myhusband doesn't listen and kept on driving!!!
