ren7400
I can't remember a time in my life when food was not an issue. My mother even says I was a ravenous baby. I remember lying in bed one night when i was nine years old and counting up everything I had eaten for the day, and promising myself that tomorrow I wasn't going to have near as much. At 13 I decided I was just not going to eat, so I'd have a couple carrot sticks or a couple crackers per day. By 14 I realized that I could eat whatever I wanted as long as I threw it back up. My mom caught on and sent me to counseling. I quit doing all of those things, I was never a true anorexic or bulemic, I just wanted to be normal. All through highschool I managed to stay normal sized by staying busy and not eating very much. It was when I had my first child and settled into marriage that I gained 70 lbs that didn't come off after the baby. I was up to 220's then, but only cared when we went out with friends. I was a stay at home mom and I guess I just let myself go and didn't care. Seven years later we divorced and I managed to loose about 60 lbs, again excerising my butt off and not eating hardly anything at all. I met the father of my son, who I stayed with for almost 8 years. He was verbally and mentally abusive and unfaithfull more than once. I had absolutely no self-esteem, I was depressed and trying to go to nursing school. I ended up packing on all the weight I'd lost and then some. I left him in Jan 2008, at 257 lbs, determined to get myself together one way or another. I've been on my own over a year now, I've scheduled my surgery and I've never felt better in my whole life. I feel like I've just been born. I can't wait for what the future holds.
