Sandi S.
The Day Draws Closer - rambling thoughts
Apr 11, 2010
I have been sitting here looking at this blank window for nearly a week now. I am not very good at talking about me. I am so tired of looking into a mirror and crying. I am so tired of not being able to breathe when i bend down to tie my shoes. I am tired of not liking me.My Husband and I were in Las Vegas on vacation a week ago. Everytime We went out to do anything, I had to keep asking Him to stop or slow down because I could not breathe. I was getting so frustrated and angry at myself. But I did keep telling myself that all of this was coming to an end soon.
Two weeks from tomorrow, 4/26/2010, I am having my lap-band surgery. It has been 18 months of struggling and giving up, thinking that this day would never come. Now that the day grows closer, my nerves are starting to become frazzled. I am so anxious about what it will be like afterwards. I am ready to lose that first pound and then the next one.
I am ready to start doing something positive for me and just me. I am the type of person who worries about everyone but me. Well the time has come to worry about and take care of me. Because the way that I feel these days, I cannot help others if I cannot face myself in the mirror. Healthwise, I cannot keep going the way I have been. My blood pressure is barely under control. I have sleep apnea. My endocrinologist has been having a heck of a time keeping my thyroid regulated.
I have been using my surgery date as a positive focal point in front of me to keep me going. My thoughts have been lighter these days as Aril 26th nears. I am more at peace with myself in some ways.
I am also scared silly!
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About Me
Forked River, NJ
Location
32.3
BMI
Surgery
04/26/2010
Surgery Date
Mar 30, 2010
Member Since
