Robin12265
Feeling Blue
May 12, 2007
I am so dissapointed that Kaiser won't cover WLS. I thought about giving up completly, but I can't. I HATE how I look and feel SO much I can't sit back and 'just accept it'. I know some overweight people are comfortable in their skin. I am NOT. I'm miserable. I'm ugly (in my eyes). I'd go so far as to say I'm disgusting.
I'm working on my attitude - but since I deal with depression anyway, this is extra hard. Ultimately though, I have to lose some weight. I don't know how. I just know it HAS to happen.
I want to get to the 160-170 range. I don't have to get down to the 120-130 range like those annoying insurance weight charts list.
Looking back...
May 10, 2007
Looking back on my youth, I just don't understand why everyone always said I was fat. I wasn't a bloomin' twig, but I wasn't fat. After years and years of hearing that, I must have accepted it - look at me now.
Here I am at 270-280 pounds. I've tried ever diet I can imagine. Nothing works. Phen/fen worked - but that was so dangerous. Thank God I didn't have any heart damage from that!
It seems like WLS is the only thing left to try. I don't want to look like this or feel like this any more. I'm sick of it.
