rubyredslippers
As a plus size girl since high school, I have always struggled with my weight.....who am I kidding?!?!? I have always HATED my weight. In 2006, I started on a journey to live a healthier life and lose weight. After 2 1/2 years of blood, sweat and tears (literally), I was able to lose 113 pounds through diets and exercise. I thought my life had changed forever. Little did I know that I would be struggling with my weight, yet again.
You see, when I'm happy I eat. When I'm sad, I eat. When I'm angry, I eat. When I'm worried, I eat. And let me tell you, 2009 rocked my world....and I ate. It all started with a canceled engagement and ended with the sudden deaths of a friend and both my parents. Although there was a bit of good sprinkled throughout the year, including the purchase of my first house and successfully cooking my first Thanksgiving dinner for a dozen people, I was simply overwhelmed....so I ate....and exercise fell to the back burner.
Now don't get me wrong, I embrace the fact that every single bad choice I made was 100% mine, and that is ultimately what put me back at my original weight. But I also embrace the fact that life will throw you curve balls and if you don't know how to truly handle them in a healthy manner, you will always lose (and not the good kind of "lose"). So there I was, at my highest weight and facing another 2 1/2 years of emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting work...and knowing that with life's inevitable curve balls, I might never be able to keep it off. What kind of roller coaster ride did I get myself into?!?!?
Then a light bulb went off when I saw a video blog on YouTube. I discovered that contrary to what I thought before, people undergoing WLS are not taking the easy way out. It truly is a struggle for them to go through the emotional, physical and mental changes that come with WLS. Hmmm. That sounded all too familiar.
The roller coaster came to a screeching halt when I realized that the main difference between traditional weightloss methods and WLS was simply the way my body would speak to me. With traditional methods, I could eat until every last drop of Ben & Jerry's was gone. But with WLS my body would reject all of that Ben & Jerry's without a second thought. "Ben's a loser, and Jerry's just trying to get you fat. They are not your friends. Stop it."
Although both methods are a huge commitment and struggle, one seems to offer a unique physical benefit.....not that getting sick is a benefit, but deep down I know that if something physically drastic doesn't happen, I might as well buy stock in Ben and Jerry's.
So.....after extensive research on WLS, the decision was made.....and it felt good to be taking my life back. Simply put, I need my body to help train my mind on how to make healthy decisions. It really is that simple. Decision made. Cross your fingers.
