SarahBelle24

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So long since my last post. I am still maintaining my weight although I am experiencing some bad eating habits and I worry because I can eat much more than right after the surgery. I don't want to get fat again. I obsess over the scale and sometimes weigh 3 times per day. I am trying to talk myself into exercising. I am just so lazy. I work hard at my desk job and when I get home I am just so drained. I know exercise would make me feel better but I don't want to do it alone. Our gym doesn't have TV so it's sooo boring. Thirty minutes seems like an eternity on a treadmill when you don't have anything else to do. I guess I should try. Well, I am not beating myself up though because I made it through Thanksgiving without gaining a pound. Today I have eaten a bowl of cereal, a small Wendy's chili with crackers, coffee, a diet soda, a little leftover turkey with about a half cup of broccoli casserole. I haven't do that bad. Some days I just want chocolate and I think I always will as I will always be a woman. I think I will look at some before and after's on here to motivate myself again. Take care. Merry Christmas. More to come.....

I can't believe the summer is over and I haven't even posted. Pitiful. Things are pretty much the same. I am at 146 and staying there. I have the looooose skin on my belly but my husband doesn't seem to mind. I don't have time to tell you all about my trip to Italy but let me just say it was wonderful. I wouldn't have been able to do it fat. There was alot of walking and climbing stairs. I mean I am still out of shape because I don't exercise (bad Sarah) so it was hard climbing all those steps to get to the bell towers and tops of churches but I NEVER EVER could have done it fat. The views in Florence and Milan were incredible. Venice...I can't say enough about Venice. San Marino was breathtaking. Verona was quaint. Piza!!! Now that tower really leans. If you ever get the chance, just go. It is well worth it. Take care....

I can't believe I didn't post at all in March. I am so glad that spring is finally here. I leave for Italy in 2 days and I am just going crazy with the details. I am down 107 lbs and wearing a size six. Is that nuts or what? I feel really good and have started exercising. I still have some of the dreaded belly fat (which sounds impossible since I am a size six but it's true). I am working on it. I finally figured out I deserve it all. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would weigh 147. NEVER NEVER NEVER. Now I say NEVER give up. Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars. More to come.

I am really tired of this winter. I want it to warm up and be sunny. I am ready to buy Spring clothes. I am all set to go on my vacation in 43 days. It just isn't getting here fast enough. CONGRATS TO SUE FOR MAKING IT THROUGH YOUR SURGERY. WELCOME TO THE OTHER SIDE, YOU BIG LOSER!!! I am down 107 lbs. I am feeling pretty good. I am still afraid sometimes that this weight will come back. I guess I have to live day by day. Pre-ops, hang in there. It can be a bumpy road but well worth it.

I am better now. I realized that I was totally obsessing about my weight. I was weighing myself 5 times per day. Yesterday I only weighed myself once. I have exercised twice this week. Which is 2 more times that I have done since I had surgery. I am trying to be kinder to myself. I still have the fat girl in my head...I am hoping to make friends. Still flabby...that hasn't changed...gonna have to live with it for the most part because I don't think I will have surgery to correct it. Trying to practice the self-love....let you know how that turns out. Take care all.....more to come...

I am having a weird day today. I am feeling fat when I know I am not. I am frustrated that I have only lost one pound since my last post. I did buy a size 8 (skin tight) jean today. That makes me feel a bit better. The truth is that whatever made me eat before is back with a vengence. I want to eat everything bad for me right now. Chips and cookies and pizza. Granted I can't eat the quantity that I did before but I need to eat better quality foods. I am tired because my diet is poor, I am not taking my vitamins and I am not exercising. I deserve better than this. What did I put myself through this big surgery just to fail now? I refuse to become the fat girl again but I am having a hard time breaking the cycle. I am so tired when I get home from work. To tired to exercise but I know if I don't exercise I am not ever going to have energy. Please don't get me wrong. I am very happy I had the surgery. I would do it again. I am just having a bad, hormonal day. For any of you that have suffered from depression and you know who you are, I am having a bad day. The weather is cold, the sky is gray. My joints hurt and I am in an overall fog. I know it will get better. I am going to plan a special day with my husband on Sunday. Shhh...he doesn't know so don't tell him. I don't really know how to surprise him but I will think of something. Maybe a neglige. Sounds good to me....probably good for both of us...LOL. Hang in there guys!! There are only two choices. Buckle under or buckle down. I have come to far to buckle under. More to come....

Well, I guess it's time to update. I am still losing. I got on the scale this morning and it said 152!!!  I have lost 102 lbs to date. I still have a bit of a belly because I don't exercise. I keep promising myself that I will but I never do. I can't believe I am still a couch potato! I guess some habits die hard. I go through phases where I eat toooooo much one (which is not even close to what I used to eat at one meal) and then the next I won't eat much at all. I still have struggles...protein, water...I don't always get what I should. It's very easy to get off track. You have to be mindful everyday to do what you should. I don't find that going out to eat has the same appeal to me as it once did. I rarely eat out anymore. I don't have that emotional bond with it that I once did. I am wearing size 12's because of the belly. I know if I started to exercise my size would change quickly. I don't mean to sound like I downer. I am VERY happy I did this. Some days I still feel fat and that mirror is a liar. I still look at myself and can't see the thin me. Then my husband walks into the room and tells me how wonderful I look. I am more flabby than I want to be but until I haul my butt of the couch and hit the gym, it isn't going to change. Maybe I just inspired myself. We will see. More to come...

Ok, so my weight loss has dramatically reduced. Only lost about 6-7 lbs this month. I am only one lb from my doctor's goal but about 12 lbs from my own. I am still pretty flabby but I haven't worked out at all. I thought at first if I could just lose weight then I would be able to exercise. As it turns out, I am just lazy. I am wearing size 12's and if I could lose my gut (need to workout) I would be about a size 8. I still feel good and people still come up to me and can't believe how much weight I have lost. I am down 96 lbs in 6 months. Unbelievable. Just hang in there guys.....it's a wild ride. OH I want to say congrats to Missy for all the weight you have lost!!!!!!   And, good luck to my friend, Sue, who should be having the surgery in the coming months. We are praying for you sista!!!!  More to come...

I am getting a waist. I never had one before. I am still carrying the bulk of my weight around my middle but it is getting smaller. I am pretty giggly from not working out. BUT my husband just left the country for a month and while he is gone, I am going to exercise. I am going to try to lose about 12 lbs while he is gone. We will have to see. I am down 90 lbs to 164. Hard to believe. I only lost one pound last week but this is because I was NERVOUS EATING because my husband was leaving. I didn't eat too much in quantity but the quality was awful. I had Pringles and Reese's. It took me two days to eat the 2 Reese's cups when I was eating 4 at a time before surgery. I really thought I had changed my habits but I guess this shows me that I always have to be on guard. I am going to try to eat healthier this week. I am still have problems with not having enough potassium so my legs cramp. I am working on this. My hair is falling out by the handfuls and I will have to buy a wig soon, I am sure. This is very distressing. Would I have surgery again despite all this? You betcha. 24 lbs. to go. More to come....

I got on the scale this morning, and there it was 175 lbs. How in the heck did that happen.? I was just complaining that I only last 6 lbs this month and now boom 12 lbs this month. I can't believe this. I am wearing 12's and 14's. I can't believe this.  I am four months post op now. I feel pretty good. I still have a hard time with white bread and some cereals but I just avoid eating them. I have found that I can eat up to a half cup of most foods. The hardest time for me to eat is first thing in the morning. I hate putting food in my tummy then taking my meds. But I do it. Down to 175. More to come....