scrapcatb

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It's hard to believe that I've not been on the OH site for 4 years at this point and it's been almost 5 years since my surgery... So much has happened in my life and in my journey since that time that looking back is both exciting and sad. At the end of 18 months post-op I had lost 223 lbs and was at the lowest weight I had been since high school... Then I got pregnant! After trying to conceive for almost 13 years, it was both miraculous and scary. I delivered a healthy, although slightly underweight, full-term baby we named Emma on 9/4/08, just under two years from my surgery date. And then, in January of 2010 we discovered we were pregnant with #2. Our little angel Hannah was born 5.5 weeks premature on 8/12/10 weighing just under 4 lbs. She spent two weeks in the NICU but has not had any lasting effects from her prematurity and is now a healthy, normal 1 year old! Hannah is actually a bigger baby at this age than her full-term sister was. I did, however, discover that it is not unnautral for women who have had RNY to have small babies since the nutrition issues that we deal with cause problems for our babies as well. I now have 27 lbs of "baby" weight to lose to get back down to my lowest pre-baby and post-surgery weight, but I truely believe that by focusing on my nutrition and going "back to basics" I should be able to do that and perhaps more. Meanwhile, I still struggle with issues of body image and well as knowing how to dress this "new" body. My most troubling issues are more those of the excess skin than the actual weight. It's difficult to dress a body that has lumps and bumps where most folks don't (and what's up with all the short-short sleeves/no sleeves these days!!!). I am hoping to have cosmetic surgery to remove some of the excess skin at some point in the future, but I want to be sure we're done having kids before I do that! So, that's about me in a nutshell... I ended up back on the OH site after talking with some friends who were doing a juice cleanse and looking for information on those who've had surgery doing/not doing those cleanses.  The concusion I've come to is no, I won't be doing it :) Besides, I have enough trouble with vitamins, etc. as it is...don't need to make that worse!

Ok, so I've not been on the OH site in many months at this point. I was doing pretty well until the past couple of weeks and then bam! I feel like I've been run over by a semi-truck! I'm cold and tired all the time and just can't seem to get it together! Maybe things are just catching up with me since I didn't seem to go through the exhaustion phase before. But other than the cold and tired (which may also be related to the change in my vitamin regimen when I ran out of my expensive ones) I've been doing pretty well. As of today, I've lost a total of 198 lbs from my highest weight, and 138 since surgery day. Not bad I don't think. I weigh less now than I have in the past 12-15 years in fact. It's a real change!  But of course, I still have issues as does everyone. For instance, even though my clothing and my family and friends tell me I've lost weight, I really don't see it. I notice small things, like my neck is skinnier... Hey, I've even got some collarbones! I wondered where they had gone!  But for the most part, I just don't see myself as thinner. And I also know that I've got another 40-50 lbs to go until I am at where I'd like to be... So anyway, that's been me... Trudging along and singing my song :)