Day 3 of pre-op liquid diet- The day i mourn the loss of food

May 05, 2016

Wednesday 05/04/16 was alot more difficult to keep up with my meal plan.. i managed all the way up to dinner, except this time at 6pm i only had my benefiber, tums, and two popsicles. After this i went to my room and stayed to myself.. while watching the tv commercial of all these delicious food , which reminded me of what i can no longer touch , the forbitten foods.. i started to reminisce all of the " good times" i had with food, how happy it made me feel and that i would no longer have them. .. and that made me feel angry.. and i started to think.. what kind of life would it be if " this liquid diet" would be the only meals i could ever have again? What if life was about enjoy food as i have always? is this surgery worth being this miserable for the rest of my life?

With the help of goggle and some links on obesityhelp...this is when i realized i was mouring the loss of food.. One article reminded me that " my addition" " my relationship" with food was unhealthy..at first it will be hard to stop seeing food as quantity but eventually i can change my view to see it as quality... using my 5 sense during each bite.

I completed day 3 just as planned, it was diffcult but i closed my day right!. THIS MOMENT, allowed me to reflect back on what are my main  goal with this surgery.. why i started this journey 2 .5 years ago. Why i pushed myself to get to a surgery date 2 years later.. I fell to my knees but i did NOT break.. I will have this surgery.. i want MY life back. I want  to go to six flag and ride superman with my daughter.. to have the energy to get out of bed and take my kids bicycling. to be able to eat the food i love but in moderation.. This is why i am doing this surgery.. for me and only me..

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