Tia M.
I have always been plus size. Even though I was a bigger girl, it seemed to "fit." It never hindered my social life. Sure there are a few guys that were not into a bigger girl, but it is what it is. I didn't always have this attitude though.
Growing up with a mother that has been plus size all of her life can be difficult. My mother, lets call her Jane, is from a small town in West Virginia and born in the 60s. In her town she was the "token fat kid" as she would say. She always got picked on and never really had any friends. The popularity thing, I am guessing was a much bigger deal back then. Anyway, she would always tell me about this one guy in class that that called her blubber butt and how it hurt her so bad. It also probably didn't help that when she did get friends, this is around when she met my dad, they nicknamed her Jello... and family from West Virginia still call her that. Fast forward to she and I. For some reason I was always chosen as her target for harsh words and mistreatment. On a regular basis I would hear "fat cow," something in reference to what and how much I would be eating, a comment in reference to how my body looked and what it should look like, not to mention her complaining about the size of clothing I wore and heaven help me if I had to go up a size. My eldest sister, Lets call her Annie, was tall like our dad... in the 5f 9 - 10in range and she is also a plus size girl, but because she is tall it fall differently not to mention, quite a bit "fell" into her bust. Annie never saw any kind of criticism that I did nor did the two younger siblings, lets call them Jack and Diane. I could never understand why I was the lucky one that got the abuse.
My dad on the other hand, lets call him Jim is an awesome dad. We have always had the best relationship. He is and has always been so supportive and loving. I never used to tell him how my mom treated me for some reason. My guess is because when I was with my dad, it didn't matter. He could care less about my weight except for as i got older, I had to stop running and jumping on him. :) But as long as I was happy, he was happy.
Fast forward to after my high school graduation. At the time, we were living in Georgia, but our family and friends were back in Maryland. Some friends from back home were graduation in June, I graduated in May, and I had made plans to attend. Jane hated this! She actually yelled at me and said, "What kind of friends are they? They couldn't be bothered to come to your graduation, why do you have to go to theirs?" (remember they are still in school because I graduated first... I still never understood how she didn't figure that out.) "You need to stay down here and get a job and help support this family!" At that moment, after the years of negativity, the brightest light bulb went off in my head. I basically told her, "1. I am 17 years old and last time I checked I don't have any kids! How about you and your bum of a boyfriend get off you lazy a$$es and get jobs and stop relying on a child to take care of you!" and 2. "I can't help that you didn't have friends growing up and that I do and always have. I am not you nor will I ever be you so get over it! Take all of your hang ups and problems and project them onto someone else." That day I found me!
I became even more confident in myself and actually wanted to feel feminine. I had always dressed in jeans and a t that were baggy to hide myself. I wanted to wear cute things, girly things. I still will throw on jeans and a t but not to hide myself.
Fast forward to now, being 26 and the weight is not my friend anymore. For years, I had no issues with my weight. I could do what everyone else did, run, jump, dance, swim... you name it, I did it. I was comfortable in my skin. When I met my now husband, I was still comfortable in my skin. I liked the weight I was and so did he. :) A year into it, i start noticing little things like being in the hospital for a torn muscle in my back and being sick more than usual and certain things not fitting quite right and not sleeping normally. It got to be around time to order the dress for my wedding and when they measured me, I couldn't believe it! I immediately went on a diet and exercise plan. It helped, definitely, and then it didn't. The weight didn't creep back on, it just stopped falling off. So, naturally I stop the diet and exercise. Slowly but surely the weight creeped up and up and up over the years until I got to my highest of 315. I couldn't believe it. I did not like my body anymore. I didn't feel like me.
I made the choice to sleeve after talking to my doctor about different health issues that I was having and basically she said, "You have to get the weight off if you want to any measurable result in your other medical issues." She and I discussed my weight history and she suggested the surgery. (I had thought about it before and researched it while I was under the care of another PCP, but the idea had been dismissed by that PCP. ) That was in November of 2011 and I had my surgery April 10, 2012. It went by very quickly. My husband was worried about the process because he doesn't want me to get smaller then find someone else. Maybe its stupid, but I loved that he felt that way. I did tell him, "There is no on else in this world that has the patience to deal with my nonsense like you, so dint count on me going anywhere."
Everyone in my family has been supportive. "Annie", my sister, was hesitant to the idea because its such a huge and drastic thing but understands and supports me. I have only told a few friends and they are so excited for me and try to be as supportive as they can.
I am really looking forward to the new life this is going to bring not just for myself, but for my husband and I as well. We are going to be able to do things and go places that I was not able to because of my weight. I am very excited about that. New life, HERE I COME!!!!
