shannon1980

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ok so the liquid diet thing is a major joke.  i knew it would turn out this way.  for the past two weeks i've been like eating mostly yogurt and pudding and sugar free ice cream.  but every day for the past few days it's been getting worse.  last night i ate a roll w/butter and today i ate 1/3 of a chocolate babka.  then i ate a can of sirloin burger soup, which was surprisingly good even though it sounds gross.

interesting to have read that some people after the clear liquids post op eat soft but not necessarily pureed food.  someone mentioned scrambled eggs and cheese and scallops.  i wonder if i couldn't do that.  i'll certainly give it a whirl.  i'm not much for yogurt.  but i am going to try the baby food thing.  i have a feeling that's going to be good for me.  but somone wrote back to my kate hudson diet question and said at least 70g of protein a day, so i'm going to really shoot for that.  he gave me the feeling that i don't know enough about the nutrition of the surgery.  i don't think i do, actually.  but i know more about nutrition than i'd like to know.  it's been years and years of vegan and organic and low carb and no sugar and whole grain and blah blah blah.  in the end i'm hungry and eating and heavier than i'd like to be.

i was happy about the responses to my fear of eating so little, though.  it seems that at the beginning you're living off the adrenaline of losing the weight bec you can't eat, and after that you slowly start to eat more, being sure to get enough protein.

feeling grossly bloated bec today i've had so much light n fit yogurt, plus breyer's no sugar added ice cream.  yuck.

still haven't told my parents, and actually i need a ride to the airport on wednesday!  still can't figure out how i'm going to get there on time, bec the first train out that morning (5.07am) wouldn't get met to the airport on time.  i'm thinking of leaving on the last train tuesday night and spending the night at the airport.  

my one friend tells me that there are important lessons to be learned when one is heavy, and the only way to learn to eat like a normal person is to start doing it.  i feel like this surgery is a clean slate opportunity, though.  i'm trying to stay hopeful.  sure is a lot of money for non guarantees, but this website's a big help for me.

can't believe I'm scheduled for the operation on valentine's day.  i'm more than excited.  the whole thing seems too good to be true.  ok so i'm uncomfortable and have to sip, sip, sip.  losing my hair is honestly scary.  but the thought of weight loss without lying awake at night waiting for morning so i can eat again, without hours and hours of exercise, without having to stretch out my meals for hours because i'm restricting my food.

i haven't told my parents.  i don't know what i'm going to tell them, either.  maybe that i'm going to a spa.  i've told many of my friends.  i don't know anyone who supports the decision, but all of my friends understand it.  they've seen the torture i've gone through for years trying to regulate my food and weight.  

i'm so excited for the surgery.  i just can't wait to see the numbers start going down.  i'll never eat a whole box of cereal again!