Here we go!!

Dec 13, 2011

Today I got some really good news. Dr. Follwell finally has all of my paperwork that he needed. The nurse called me and told me to expect them to call me before the week is out telling me when my pre-op testing, nutrition class and finally my surgery date will be. I have to admit that my nerves are starting to kick in. All the excitement that has been pushing me through is starting to turn to anxiety. There are so many questions I want to ask, but not sure who to talk to about it. So many doubts that I never realized I had untill now. Am I doing the right thing? Can I stick to the diet? Will I do more damage to my health by having this done and not being able to stick to it. How will I feel about myself when I start loosing the weight? How will I deal with the excess skin that I know I will have. I know many of my doubts are foundless but their still there. Just rolling around in my head. I don't know what to do with them.  But when I look at my boys I gather a lil more strength. The doubts don't seem to weigh on me quite so heavily. I want to run around the yard with them. I want to ride our bikes around town and go hiking again with my family and pets. I want to be able to walk around the block without being in so much pain and out of breath.  I want to wake up in the morning and love who i see in the mirror, not just like her.

   I don't know how so many of you have made this journey. The road I have to travel now seems so long and winding. But with my family beside me, I put on my nike's and get ready to climb. To all of you who have made this journey...you are truley wonderfully strong people. All I can do is hope that I can be as strong as you have been. That I can carry myself through this with my head held high and a smile on my face. Even with all my doubts, I still want this soooo badly. I will do this. For my boys, and my family. But mostly for ME. 

So wish me luck and a happy journey becouse loosers  bench here I come.  And to all of you who have crossed the finish line, all advice and comments are not only welcome but encouraged.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you!!!

0 Comments