Sillyguts

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Well I got my drainage tube out today. Thank God!! That was such a nuisance. I didn't take any pain meds before and it actually didn't hurt hardly at all. It was uncomfortable but totally tolerable. It felt like a big gas bubble moving across my stomach. It certainly was a different feeling!!

I also had two new good things happen. First, there is room between me and the desks at school. I sat down during my first class this morning and felt slumpy. I looked down and realized that it was because I had about 1/2 inch between me and the desk. My belly has always touched the desk.

Also, I have lost 9 pounds since I came home from the hospital. That was soooo exciting. The day I started my liquid diet I weighed 278 lb. Today I weigh 255 lb. I can't believe it. I am so glad I went through with this surgery. I feel great in every way!! I have been dying to say this.... I love my RNY!!

I'm Home!!!! I got home on Friday at 3:30pm. This may be a long post so get ready!!
As my previous posts mentioned I was a nervous wreck the night befor my surgery!! I was very very close to backing out. I was having panic attacks and crying like a baby. However, when I arrived at pre-op the nurse there reassured me that Dr. Lane (angel from God) performs atleast 2 of these surgeries every day. She also informed me that of the many many surgeries that she has seen there have never been any major complications or deaths. If she hadn't been there I probably would be sitting here feeling foolish for not having the surgery. 
Anyhow, I went through with it. My surgery started at 8am and I was in my room by noon. I woke up feeling the most tired I have ever felt in my life but I didn't really have much pain. After I became more alert, several hours later, there still wasn't much pain. I realized then that there was a medicine ball that was attached to me that was feeding lidocain into my incisions inside. That was cool. The walking wasn't bad at all. It is definately true that the walking helps you feel better faster and helps the gas from the surgery to move out of your system. I walked alot. I ended up having a hard time swallowing water. It felt like there was an umbrella inside my throat that would open and then slide down my throat. They gave me an antacid (protonics) that helped alot. They also realized that I some swelling in my throat from the anestesia tube but was not a big deal at all and would go away soon. However, because I had the swelling Dr. Lane kept me an extra day. So I am home now and am doing great! The most pain I have is what I think is a ruptured vein from the IV. I am having a hell of time bending my arm. My stomach actually doesn't hurt at all. I'm a little stiff when I stand up but not bad. I am actually getting ready to call the hospital and ask about my arm because I just looked down at it and it is very swollen, hot and red. 
Anyway, do I have any regrets? ABSOLUTLEY NOT!!!! I am so excited that I am actually sitting on the loser's bench!! I will post again soon!
God Bless! and thank you ALL for your support, prayers and encouragement!
God Bless!!
Angie

Well I will be leaving for the hospital in 30 minutes. Please keep me in your prayers and I will see you all on the loser's bench!! 
God Bless!!
Angie

I can't relax!! Deep down I know that I will be fine but I can't relax. I have been having mini panic attacks all day and night. I get to where I feel okay and then I can feel the panic build until I explode like a zit. I'm having such a hard time tonight. I have found that it makes me feel better if I think, "I can just not do it if I decide not to" and then I relax again. I will not bail out, I just don't know how to relax!!!!!!!!!! I also feel pressured because people keep saying to me that I have come way too far to bail out now. I know they're right. I also know that if I don't go through with this then I will never forgive myself because I cannot lose weight on my own. That has been proven time and time again. 
8 hours and 15 minutes until surgery. 
Don't be surprised if I post panic again. Writing on this site makes me feel better.
God Bless! And please keep me in your prayers!!!!!!!

Ok, I am a total wreck all of a sudden tonight. I can't stop crying and my nerves are shot. Surgery is on Tuesday and I am not sure how I am going to get through these next two days. I know that I am not the only one who has been this much of a nervous wreck but I can't help it. I just wish I could feel more excitment. My mom had the DS in 1996 and she said that she never felt nervous or anything other than excitement. I just wish I could feel like that. I feel crazy!! I have so many people give me words of inspiration and support, and it has benefited me tremendously, but if anyone else could tell me if they have gone through this much emotion right before surgery I would greatly appreciate any input.
God Bless!!!

I found protein powder at walmart for $14. It's 100% Whey protein in a big canister.

I am having a hard time deciding what protein supplements to buy. I don't want to spend a bunch of money but I also don't want it to taste like cardboard. If anyone has suggestions as to what they have tried and liked I would really appreciate the input. 

My husband told me that since we have a little extra money right now that I should go shopping for clothes for after my surgery and I have lost some weight. Normally I love shopping, except for clothes. I told him I didn't want to go shopping. I wasn't quite sure why I didn't want to at first but now I realize that it's because I don't know how to shop for clothes. I have been wearing t-shirts and sweatpants for the past several years. I have no idea what to look for. I suppose I should get atleast 2 outfits or amybe some more pairs of smaller sweats so that i have something to wear over the next few months. It will be VERY strange wearing anything that doesn't have to stretch to fit me. The only two pairs of jeans I have are stretch jeans. I can't wait to buy regular jeans and not feel like I can't breath in them. I know it may be several more months before I'll get to wear jeans like that but I'm excited. 

Well in 10 minutes it will be 5 days until my surgery. I am still so nervous but am getting a little more excited everyday. Deep down I know that I will be okay, but it has to be normal to be nervous and fearful. I'll get through it and I will be thankful after it's all over and I am healed. It will definately be more worth it when I am off the liquid diet, ha ha. I will keep everyone posted.

I am having such a hard time with this liquid diet. Sometimes I'm okay and others I feel like crying. I am so hungry!!!!!! I know I can get through this. I just needed to vent. 
Also, if anyone has any suggestions for various protein supplements after the surgery please let me know. I have a sample of Wheybolic extreme 60. I haven't tried it yet but if anyone else has can you let me know if you liked it and if it's okay for after surgery.
Thanks so much!!

This liquid diet sucks!!!!!!! I tried blending up vegetable soup and it almost made me gag. I have also blended up chicken and stars soup and that was wonderful. I just keep reminding myself that it's not forever.

Well I hope this is all normal to feel. I have so many emotions as my surgery date gets closer and closer. I feel excitement to start my new life and feel better physically and mentally. But at the same time I am so scared that something will happen. My sister-in-law made me feel better by saying, "you've had a C-section, tonsils removed and your Gall Bladder taken out. You didn't have any problems then, so why would you with this surgery?" I never thought about it like that before. That made me feel better. I am also about to begin the two-week liquid diet before surgery. We decided to have my sister-in-law over for a huge dinner of stuffed shells, garlic bread and pie. As I was eating it, it occured to me that after Tuesday I will not be able to eat like I always have and may not be able to ever eat some of the foods that I have always enjoyed. At that moment I felt like I was losing my best friend. I then realized that that was one of the emotions I have been feeling but have not been able to understand what it was or why I was feeling it until yesterday. I have heard about people feeling like that about food before their surgeries, I just never thought I would feel it too. Deep down I know I will be fine. God Bless!
If anyone could give me ideas of what to eat on this liquid diet I would be grateful for any suggestions.