smackywacky16
Let's see...this seems different than most places to post about myself. I guess because here it sets me apart...or rather compares my story to others. I'll start with the usual - I have always been overweight. This isn't just a story - this is true. I remember one of the most humiliating things ever was in 5th grade and me having to be weighed in front of my entire class...I tipped the scales at 126 pounds. The largest in the class. Since that day, I have yet to see 126 pounds. When I was younger, I learned to take the fat jokes personal, but as I matured I mastered the art of making fun of myself, leaving no one else an opportunity to crack the joke and always confident in myself. In high school, this type of attitude paved me a way into the 'cool' crowd. It was at this point in my life that I loved the popularity so much that I would do anything to be just like my friends...I became anorexic. It was not until later that I realized that I had a problem. I have always been motivated and when I put my mind to something, I can definitely do it. Unfortunately, anorexia was not the healthy way. I got down to 130 pounds and I had 'wonderful' friends who told me daily how 'fat' I was. Eventually my parents moved and I had to make new friends. It was during that time that my battle with anorexia reversed. No longer was I battling anorexia, but instead food addiction. Sadly to say, every chance I got - I would make a pit stop at a fast food restraunt. These actions not only contributed to my weight regain and plummet to bad health and bad social life, but also my sister. I blame myself everyday for buying my sister fast food and allowing her to go the same path that I did.
The guys I dated were always thinner than me. There was one that was a little bigger than me and he treated me the best ever. I was even engaged at one time to a man that fit every 'quality' of the man I wanted to marry. Well, you know how they say, if it's too good to be true - it probably is? Well, yeah - that's true. Remember that confidence that I had earlier on? Well, yeah - he destroyed it. For 6 months I battled emotional, verbal, and mental abuse from this man. I was drug onto scales every weekend and I was at his mercy to report what kind of workouts I done at the gym and what I had eaten every day. I was given a timeframe of 3 months to lose 20 pounds. I lost 33 and it was still not good enough. The best thing in my life to ever happen was he broke up with me. Was it me? No. It was him. It was him the entire time. I have yet to gain all of my self-esteem back and I am not ashamed to say that I have been in counseling working on loving myself again. But I have found to find that undying love for myself again - I have to really love myself. That is what has brought me here...slightly.
My friends have always told me that I am the type of person that when I meet the person I am going to be with - I'm going to marry quick.
On December 2, 2007 - I met Brian. This was a man that I would never in my life be attracted to - but I had been through a complete roller coaster in the last few weeks- I figured, what the heck. Exactly 6 months later, we were married. Brian has struggled with weight also and had recently lost around 120 pounds, but was beginning to put it back on. Not due to my cooking, considering I cannot cook! So, August 14, 2008 I had an appointment with Dr. John Bagnato for a consultation for the Lap-Band. Though Brian did not want to - he went with me. By the end of the visit, we were both being considered for the Lap-Band and started on the Sugar-Busters Pre-Op Diet. August 25, the doctor's office called and informed us that we had been approved and we had surgery on August 28, 2008.
We are looking forward to this journey together. Already, it feels as if we have grown closer. A physician that I work with told me, it's like this -"The family that is banded together, stays together."
Of course, I tease Brian all the time and tell him - I only married him for his insurance! Which is so not the case! But, thank God for Blue Cross Blue Shield FEP!
