Con-sultations Galore

Jan 15, 2010

I went to the first doctor on my list, let's refer to him as “he who must not be named”. Well Dr. No Name was very flashy, his office made me feel like I had been dipped in MTV-land and shaken off to dry without a towel. I felt overwhelmed at the awards and flashy plasma TV screens that adorned everywhere except the restroom. The only reading material were articles about him and his office staff were more in tuned with their cell phone text wars than anyone in the waiting room, including me. Well strike two occurred when a nurse came out of the back and asked if she could speak with me. Needless to say she offered free permanant makeup to my eyebrows and lip line because she was in a pinch for a show later that night. Confusion erupted and I was unable to say anything but, “are you kidding me?” and slowly walk away from this woman with a tattoo gun and hunger in her eyes. I went back to the waiting room and was then called in. At first I was excited because Dr. No Name had many pictures to look through of past patients. I was concerned though when he began to mark me up like a sales tag on a Macy's return. I had red lines on more parts of my body than imaginable, in some areas I didn’t even know I needed that much work on. I listened intently already knowing he was off my list and left his office. I sat in my car thinking over what had just occurred wondering if I had enough gusto to venture to the next appointment, I gulped and started my car. The next appointment could not be another flashback scene from a NIP/TUCK episode... or could it...

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