Tomorrow I am a LOSER!

Jun 22, 2011

Well after almost two full months of looking forward to it, the time is nigh.

Tomorrow I begin a new journey in my life. Tomorrow IS change.

I look back and think about how my life has been with all of "me".
-How many dates did I refuse because I feared rejection because of my weight?
-How many trips to amusement parks did I want to go on, but know I couldn't because I couldn't fit on the rides?
-How many times have I walked into a restaurant with friends and family and feared I wouldn't fit into the booth we would be put into?
-How many times did I go to the bathroom and realize how hard it's getting to CLEAN myself?
-How many times have I been chowing down while driving and feeling like EVERYONE was staring at me while I ate?
-How many digs did I miss in volleyball because I couldn't get down fast enough? How many blocks have I missed because I can't jump because of my weight?
-How much money have I spent in the last year ALONE in fast food?
-How many times have I eaten, even though I wasn't even hungry?
-How many nights have I woke up choking because I've aspirated my food again?
-How many times have I saw clothes that I know I would look good in and didn't even BOTHER to see if they have my size?

There is so much going through my head right now. I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm giddy. I'm reluctant. But most important, I'm ready.

"The time is now." -Golda Meir

Michael Spinks
6/22/2011 5.51pm.

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