stacieblue

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Well, I made it through.  I look back now and remember the shear pain when I woke up from anesthesia.... ugh.  Now I know what they mean when they say they feel like they've been hit by a truck.  It has me second guessing any further surgeries... plastic.... Hopefully I will shrink uniformly as I gained uniformly.  I feel good now just a bit of pain esp on the left side.  Now I am concentrating this week on eating 6 small meals a day and getting my water in.  They don't even have me worried about protein yet, but I am doing my best to get it in.  Thursday I go for my 1 week check up and I hope they take out my staples.  I have 6 holes in my tummy.  5 for the operation and 1 for a jp drain.  they all pretty much have 2 staples except the big one on the left that has 6 and the drain that has 3.  My daughter thinks my tummy looks gross right now and I have to say it's kind of funny.  I really liked grossing out my 12 year old step son.  He does not like the look of staples in skin.  So, like I was saying, Thursday they will up my menu to soft foods.  Yay!  I will be so happy to have some eggs and some beans and peas.  Funny thing though, that seems to be just a mouth thing.  I really don't care about food right now.  I feel so glad to have the food monkey off my back.  Could this be what normal eating is like?  To not be so dependent on food?  Hmmmm.  I love it. 

Ok I am almost there.  Thursday I go in for Pre Op tests and meet with the nutritionist for my pre  op plan.  I go on a liquid diet for 2 weeks prior to surgery which will be on July 5th.  I am nervously excited and quite frankly kind of glad to have 2 days in the hospital with no children, dishes, housework, paintings or illustrations due.  2 days for me... ok, maybe some painkillers too.  Then I will be home and my Mom from Florida will come to stay with me until I can do everything on my own again.  I am hoping for only 2 weeks.  I love my Mom and am so thankful that she will be doing this, but at the same time, I think it is best when we aren't together alllllllll the time.  Yay.  Can't wait.

Oh I am sooooo tired of waiting to get on with my life.  I am so ready for this surgery.  Scared, but ready.  I feel trapped in a layer of fat that in the past I needed in order to blanket myself in a layer of comfort.  You all know... that feeling of invisibility that happens when you are fat.  Generally no one notices you.  I am over it now and am ready to move on.  My main reason for surgery is to get over this horrible knee pain.  I am in pain 24 hours a day and truly it seems as if there is nothing to do about it except lose the weight.  It has gotten so bad that my business is starting to suffer.  I am a director with Mary Kay cosmetics and it kills me to do a class, go to a success event, or just talk to people out in stores.  I can't get out to many stores for long or events for long because by then my knees are shot for the day.... oh then dinner, baths etc... my knees just scream out in pain ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
I am small boned and "them bones aint happy" heheh so  to speak.  I feel like screaming at Cigna... I'm allready ready allready... why cant you be?  Ok, so they did a psych eval and I'm normal... Hey, gotta tell all my friends and family that they'll be so happy for me.. hehehehe.  I am also going to do my own little experiment with Cellushape by Mary Kay.  It is a product that helps to eliminate cellulite and firm skin by rejuvenating the collagen and elastin, also by hydration.  I hope it can help to avoid plastic surgery.... although a boob lift might be cool....oh the days of sun...hehehe  litterally my child, Ashley sucked the life out of em.  I really used to be able to not hold a pencil under them.  Now...... um..... welllllll......... I could hold an entire meal under there or an ex-lover just to keep on hand....ok that's a pretty picture.... help... I'm suffocating..... ok I'll stop.  I could ramble on forever.. obviously.  I will keep updating as things move onward and upward?... .................