stevielivjaysmommy
9-20-07
Okay well first off I want to say that this is a long story and I am not going to be able to finish it all in one sitting. I may not be back on to post at times for a couple of days as I have to go back and fourth to doctors, have three children and am in poor health. My story is not short as I am four years post-op. First off I want to tell you about who I was prior to my surgery so you can see the dramatic diffrences in my personality and health after RNY. I was 26 with two daughters and a great marriage to a wonderful very loving man. I have been with my husband since I was 19 and when I met him I was at a okay weight at that time. I was probably a size 12 in which with my tall statue of 5'9 I looked pretty good. I have strugled with my weight since I was a small child. WHen I met my husband I was still in party mode and we had alot of fun for three short months untill we found out we were pregnant with my first daughter Stevana. I can remember the day now like it was yesterday. I was at the dentists office at a clinic with my husband and the dentist asked if I was possibly pregnant cause he needed to do xrays and I said well mabey and ten minutes later he came in with the results. My husband and I had never been so happy and stunned at the same time. We were so ready to start a family and that is just what we did. My second daughter came along after four years of trying and again we were happier than ever. I had gained alot of weight after the birth of my daughter Livia. I had gained quite a bit after Stevana and couldn't get it of but after Liv I was well over 250 pounds. I was uncomfortable. I have always been what you would call "Fat and Vain," what I meen by that is even though I was fat I always had to look cute. I worked hard to try and stay looking nice for my husband but my weight was getting to the point were no matter how much make-up I used or how cute and stylish my clothes were or how purfect my hair was I was still feeling very unattractive. My husband never felt that way. At least that is what he tells me. He sais that I was beutiful then and I am beutiful now. The problem was I didn't feel anywhere near beutiful. I was tired of buying expensive clothes that I would never buy if I was thin and I was sick of breaking into a sweet just walking around the grocery store. I was getting bigger and bigger and finaly I was at the end of my rope at 280 pounds. I tried everything to loose weight but not only would I not stick to the diet I also am relizing now that diets work for no one. If I just would of changed the way I was eating and ate smaller portions I would of lost the weight without going through what I had to go through. I started researching the surgery over the internet about one year prior to having the surgery. I must of spent at least six hours a day on obesityhelp.com and I even joined support groups so I could see how well everone was doing after the surgery. The only problem was that everone at the groups were newly post-op including the leader. Looking back I know my two biggest reasons for wanting the surgery was first my looks and also the fact that my parents were obese and I saw myself like them when I turned their age. I had lower back pain that I hoped would go away after I lost the weight but it just got worst because of the lack of vitamin d and the fact that I found out post-op that I have scoliosis. I probably didn't spell that right. I am a terrible speller by the way and am getting worse. So my surgen gave me RNY with no health problems. I didn't even have hypertention as my blood pressure has always been low. I was bouned and determined though. All my family was against it and were all very concerned but I have always been the indopendent type and well it was always hard to tell me anything. My husband realy didn't want me to have it untill one day I broke down and started crying and told him how much it ment to me and from that day on he supported me. Prior to surgery my life was very balenced and full of life. I was a stay at home Mom and was a licenced family childcare provider. I have always loved children so staying home with my own children and being able to care for others realy made me happy. Part time in the evenings I worked for a foster care facility spending time with troubled kids that had to live in troubled homes. It made me feel so good to be able to help children that were in need. In my spare time I would take child development classes and at one time got a award for exceptional infant-toddler time. My husband and I had a great relationship, we were best friends. Don't get me wrong, we had our days like anyuone else and we looked forward to our evenings alone with a bottle of wine and solitude but for the most part I was just a very happy health fat person. Later in my story you will see where I turned to alchol for releif from the emotional pain I was going through so I want to make my pre-op drinking as clear as possible. I was not a purfect angel. At the age of seventeen I dabled in drugs and saw my life starting to go down hill so I stopped and then when I met my husband before we had children we were drinking and staying out late quite a bit but that only lasted a couple of months and then after my children were born their were times, mainly at party's that I would get out of hand with drinking but in no way would I of called myself a alcholic prior to surgery. Yes I am predisposed of alchol abuse as my father is a alcohlic but prior to surgery I never ever put drinking or anything else for that matter before my children. Okay well I am going to get to bad. I will post tomarro.
11-14-07
I am sorry to anyone that was waiting to here me post but I have been a buisy person with two hospital stays at Stanford University since my last post. I want to tell you first off why I have been in the hospital so you can understand why I will have to stop my posts when I get to sick and come back to it later. I have hyperinsilimic hypoglycimia due to gastric bypass and am extremly animic. The animic thing I can live with as it can be cured with routine iron infusions but the hypoglycimia has been a nightmare. Okay now lets go back to about four years ago when I had my surgery. Surgery went well, no complications during or soon after the procedure. I had pretty bad pain right after and was upset when I got out of surgery as I was in alot of pain but my husband stayed with me day and night for the four days and did not leave my sight and tried to keep me as comfortable as possible. Doctor said it would be at least a week before I was feeling better and sent me home with liquid vicodine but after one day I was feeling great and was off any pain meds and out of bed. The first six months was spent trying to figure out how to eat again, it was a hole new way of life and I was in shock at how little I could eat even after all the research I had done. After a couple of bites I was extremly full and ther problem was my tummy was full but I wanted to continue to eat to get that satisfaction that I was so used to. After about six months I started to take a dramatic turn emotionaly. I was feeling anxiety that I had never felt before and I started drinking to try and relax. This felt like the answer. At first it was like once a week I would drink. My husband and I would get a babysitter and go out. At this time I had lost a dramatic amount of weight. I was down almost 90 pounds and that is just way to fast. When I drank it would hit me fast and I would continue to drink into a drunkin stuper. This went on for a while and then it continued to get worse and worse. At aboout hte same time all this was happoning I was finding that when I was sober during the day I would get sweaty and dizzy and would have to sit down and rest as I felt like I was going to pass out.
