sue_potter
I've been to all of the pre-surgical appointments, sleep study, etc. I have sleep apnea...now have the annoying c-pap machine. I see Dr. Patterson on the 22nd of December and should know when I will have surgery then. I am getting excited. I've lost my 15 pounds and am ready to go!
12/24/05 - I had my appointment with Dr. Patterson. Due to some existing stomach problems, I will have an endoscopy on jan. 5th. In the meantime, they are sending my paperwork into the insurance company and when they get an ok, we will set the date. I guess it will be around the end of January 2006. I have lost 16 pounds since I first went to the Obesity clinic and 21 pounds since I first saw my primary care doctor. I am not doing anything special to lose...just using the protien powder and vitamins, trying to stay more active and eat more slowly. I am glad that Dr. Patterson is taking the time to do the scope. Like she says, we can't go there
after surgery without more surgery. I really like her.'1/06/06 - Had my endoscopy with Dr. Jan. He said all looked good and any hernia that I might have would be easily fixed with my surgery. I am just waiting on the insurance now to get my date. I want to call, but have decided to wait until Monday, and clean up the last remnants of Christmas over the weekend.
1-13-06 - It may be Friday the 13th, but I am not feeling unlucky because my surgery date was made today. I will have my surgery on February 1st. I was on top of the world when I heard that my insurance had been approved in less than a week! My endoscopy was good (Dr. Jan did it and I really liked him). It gives me a sense of purpose to have the date set. I sent a letter via email to all of my friends who I had not previously told outlining my choice to have the surgery and asking for their prayers. The support was overwhelming! I am looking forward to the little things that most people take for granted....like tying your shoes by just bending over and getting down on the floor to play with my grandaughter and actually being able to get up again without the use of a crane.
1-18-06-I answered a few items on the messageboard tonight and it dawned on me that I am one of the group! How many times have I wanted to belong and didn't? I think that this forum might just be the blessing that many people need. The greatest pain a person can indure is not a physical pain...it is the pain of rejection. And haven't we all felt that? I am looking forward to being normal...not thin, just normal. I just want to wipe my butt without herniating a disc!
01-23-06-My best friend has taken a 3 week trip to the Holy Land and will return the evening after my surgery. I miss talking to her, but I have received so much help from the messageboards and emails lifting my spirits. I am still having a problem not eating...everything sounds so good, but my stomach is paying the price. Today I tried to be better about my choices. I had some success. I included an extra protien made with water. I noticed that some people said that they had trouble with the taste of the powder afterwards. I hope I don't. It is ok now...the lady at GNC said to start the milk in the blender first and then add the powder slowly and it would not clump up. It's true! Wven when I have had 2 scoops of powder it was smooth. Taste is not a problem...years ago I drank Tab....and that stuff would open a clogged drain! Wishing the time would go faster, but that is just old impatient me!
01-29-06-I finished my first day of clear liquids. I have kept myself hydrated, so I feel pretty good. Had sniffles and a little fever on Saturday, but am fine now. I can hardly believe that the time is coming up so quickly. I will watch my grandaughter on Monday so the day will fly by and on Tuesday, I have plans to get ready for the hospital and maybe just window shop a bit...dream of smaller clothes. My weight is 284 this evening. Wonder what is will be a month from now.....2 months....a year. My whole life is taking on new meaning.
1-31-06-It is evening. I watched my grandaughter all day and really enjoyed it. I was a little hungry after she left, so had some jello. Who knew diet jello could be filling? I am feeling really well and starting to look forward to Wednesday in a way I had not done before. I am so blessed by all of the support I have received from this website as well as my church and friends. My best friend is in Omaha and will arrive home the evening of my surgery. I have been able to talk to her, however, and having a good laugh with her has been priceless! I plan to go to bed early tonight and take care of my grandaughter again tomorrow along with my great-grandaughter. I wasn't going to, but it makes the day go so much faster and my DH is here all day and so helpful. He is so supportive and I love him so much!
2-3-06- I got home today at noon. I am tired and sore, but feeling wonderful. I understand about nasty protien now. I think the hospital searches the world to find the worst tastes...flavors like armpit mocha or toejam strawberry...yuck. And isn't it just my luck that the worst tasting pills are the pain pills?!? I will take them no matter what, because I am sore still. My overall experience was good. I did have some lung issues, but worked at it and coughed until my lungs cleared. The worst thing is that I am finding it hard to find a place to get comfortable at home. We don't have a recliner here. But you know every day has found me feeling better, so I know that this won't be an issue for long. Thanks to everyone on this website for your lovely words of encouragement and support. And thanks to my Heavenly Father who is the ultimate controller of every situation. It is He who will be my leader on this new life journey.
2-5-06-It is Sunday morning and it feels funny not to be getting ready for church! I am sore this morning, but not really in pain. I slept well. Got up once to go potty and then take the cpap off, as I had gotten into a position where the mask made a really painful dent under my nose. I don't like to sleep without it, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do! I ate a few bites of yogurt and some protien this morning, had my meds and am going to just sip water for awhile until the meds make it through. They tend to make the tummy a little unhappy...not mad, just unhappy. I got on the scale this morning and weight 279.1, which was the weight I was when I left for the hospital. I am feeling a little crampy in my calves and had an unexpected bm this morning as well. (nothing a shower couldn't cure) I am going to walk a bit then rest while DH is at church. So far so good! I am not as dependent on pain meds.
2-6-06 - Who knew that baby food meat could taste ok if you put Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce on it?? Thanks to a nurse at Good Sam, I tried it and it was totally palatable! I also dished up a serving of 2T of applesauce and couldn't finish it all. This is wild! I stepped on the scale today at 275.6. I know I am not supposed to be doing that, but it's so much fun!! I am doing well with water because I am thirsty. I am a little concerned that my bm's will always be nasty....I was married to a man that was that way and I can't bear the thought! I checked, it wasn't in my material, so I guess I will just wait and see, since potty talk isn't something that most people are comfortable with! My bandages came off today and the belly looks good. Still pretty sore on the left side, but I have only had 1/2 Percocet twice today. Life continues to be wonderful!
2-11-06-I am feeling so good that it scares me. I understand the phsycological effect that food has on me now. I am eating next to nothing, but because I am so worried that my pouch will stretch, I still feel like I am on that eternal diet with no end. I wonder if I will ever be comfortable with food? It has never been my friend. Maybe it could just be an acquaintance...I am looking forward to the visit to the dietician on the 27th to get my bearings. I am meeting the protien requirements, taking the vitamins and calcium, but am not meeting the fat grams even using 2% milk with my protien. Can't wait for input!
2-15-06 - I had my first setback today. I got out of bed and pulled something from my groin all the way up through my stomach! It hurt so bad, it took my breath away! I called the doctor and they said to take it easy for a couple of days and if it did not get better, call them back. It sure scared me. Makes me want to maybe be not quite so gung ho in getting back to doing things. I hit 269.3 this morning. That was fun....I don't have much of an appetite in the past day or so..maybe I just need to rest more.
2-27-06 - Had my first checkup after surgery. I am feeling really fine as long and I chew and eat slowly. I got the green light on more foods and I am so glad that I can actually chew some things now. I think my first dinner was a little bit of heaven...probably an ounce or less of chicken thigh (a real one!!) some cottage cheese and 1/2 canned pear. I was in heaven!! Today my big eat is a string cheese stick. Yummy!! I am down to 1 protien drink a day and will now start extra b's and iron and calcium +d. I am supposed to try to eat more. Only things off limits are breads, pasta and red meat and of course raw vegetables are still a no no. I can't believe this is going so well...oh!! I weighed 262.6 with all my clothes on! Yippee!
03/14/2006- I am doing so well that I forget to keep my journal. I do have bad times - mainly when I eat too fast for forget to chew. I suffer and then hate myself for being so stupid! I have solved the constipation problem by taking my pills with prune juice. I also take the B complex in a liquid form in my juice. One less pill to take!! Other than that all is well.......
5/7/06 - I am over 3 months out now. The energy I feel is amazing.I am still having trouble eating slowly, and the concept of just a little food will make me full is also hard to grasp. I am now at 238 pounds, which figures around 5 pounds a week loss. I haven't been writing or checking the boards much because it's the old feeling that I will jinx something if I think about it too much. I am happier than I have been in a long time......although I hate when people comment on how much or how little I eat...can't they just leave me be? Food is not my identity now! It is kind of like quitting smoking......you just don't want to smoke, but you don't want to talk about it either or maybe you will want one. I have a problem that I don't have much of a taste for food, so deciding what to eat is hard and I hate to be consumed with those decisions. So I end up eating a lot of crackers just to fill the gap and probably sabatoge myself for a better meal. I have found that pea soup is my friend....and looking in the protien section of the Nutrition facts is so much different than just looking at calories and fat. Life is good!!5-11-06 - Went to my 3 month checkup. My weight was 236.0 with all my clothes on!! The nurse and Physicians asst both said I was way ahead of projections! WOO HOO! My blood pressure was 126/66, so it looks like I might not be on my BP medicine forever! I told them that the only setbacks I have had are ones I cause myself. I will have blood work tomorrow or the next day and see how I am doing internally. I love this!!
6-1-06 - down to 230. I am sure hungry, though and I overeat a lot. Too many crackers, not enough water. Haven't heard about my blood work yet, which usually means everything is fine. I pray each day for help in controlling my impulses to eat. I need to succeed.
7-2-06 - Five months out and what do I know? I still get hungry and like to eat...but if I allow myself regular food and just a little, I am happy. If I follow the rules: no drinking while eating, eat slow and not too much....I feel amazingly well. Hit 224.9 this morning and wear a 16W and some 14W. I can wear XL in more expensive clothes, but don't want to purchase them....I still have things in my closet to wear. I recycled 8 bags of clothes to a friend and 6 bags to Goodwill last weekend. I love having a cleaner closet, but still have too many clothes. I can't wait to be the same size for more than a week at a time so I can invest in a few really nice clothes. I find that clutter really bothers me. I also have the problem if getting really hot and sweating if I eat wrong. Just another reason to follow the rules. I love reading about my February peers and seeing that I am not the only person who is experiencing some difficulties. However, I was recently asked if I would do it again, and my answer was "In a heartbeat!"
08-08-06-6 months out now. Weight is 220. I have gotten a few clothes for a wedding I attended which was fun, but I have been this weight before and have quite a few clothes. It is hard for me to believe that I am but 20 pounds away from 200 and 14 pounds away from 100 lost. I had a rough 5th month. I hit a plateau and I thought that weight loss was over. But, I perservered and finally got over the hump. I feel quite well most days. I am still punished severely when I overeat. I am finally eating raw vegetables, and it is such a favorite of mine!! For so long, I didn't have anything that really needed to be chewed! I had to have an adjustment in my depression medication. It's amazing how many years I comforted myself with food, and now that I can't do that, I was not coping well. The adjustment in medication was just the trick and I feel so much better......more in control!