Sugarbaby112
I seem to have always been "the chubby one." I am a twin and I was always chunkier than my twin sister. I think growing up in that light was a little detrimental to my emotional battle with weight. In high school I was very active and quite small. I played soccer and even was team captain for two years. It was college when it all hit. They say "freshman 15" well for me it was more like freshman 50. I was away from home and my very tight knit family, I wasn't eating correctly at normal times, staying up late to study and of course the drinking didn't help. I was a size 8 at my smallest in high school and quickly ballooned up to a size 16. At my twin sisters wedding I realized things were really becoming a problem when I could barely fit into a size 16 dress. It was hard to meet people because of my weight and I couldn't seem to stay in a solid relationship. My boyfriend broke up with me for a younger girl and it all went down hill. I was diagnosed with severe depression and had to start taking sleeping pills to sleep at night. I remember it all starting when I heard voices one night while I was almost asleep. I saw a councilor right after that. Turned out the diet pills I was taking (of course) weren't letting me get the deep sleep I needed and I basically was suffering hallucination because of lack of sleep. With the depression medication and sleeping pills things seemed to level out a little but the weight didn't. It was going on faster than I could take off. I just hit a certain point, probably at about size 18/20 when I said, "Whats the point?" And just gave up. I though that I could never and would never loose the weight and I would always be fat. There was too much weight to even begin to take off. It was last January (I was a size 22/24 at the time and still am) that my aunt died. She died during surgery to correct damage done to her heart -- her heart was taking on fluid-- and they just couldn't bring her back. The damage to her heart was too extensive. We were very close and she had always been over weight. As long as I can remember. We always considered her jolly and fun and always got sweets for Christmas. I remember the day she died just saying over and over in my head, "Why cant they just start her heart back up again? It was ok before. She was fine before." It took quite a while to realize that they could not undo the years and years of damage done to her body and organs. And that was the reason she was taken away from me so early, at the young age of 61. After we went through her stuff I realized that most of her stuff fit me rather well...her old coat and shirts... and it was devastating. That was when I realized that it was time for change for me. I feel like its time to start my life. I'm young and can bounce back quickly and now is the time. I have a great job (great insurance!) and a wonderful family supporting me. I want to be around to play with my nieces and nephews I want to have a life and children of my own. Its time to change my life; start it for the better. I know this is a lift long permanent change and after mulling it over for a year. I have finally decided this is the path. I want to run a marathon and go rock climbing and skiing out west and this tool can help me achieve!
