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     Yesterday, I joined the century club!  When I stepped on the scale, and realized I was down 100.3 pounds, I could only stand there in awe.   I still have a ways to go, but my weight loss finally feels real.  100 pounds!  That's just crazy!  This is real life!

New blog post today about weight lost, some struggles, and new life plans! 

http://www.mostlymissy.com/2013/04/an-irish-setter.html

Today's post on Mostly Missy, short and sweet and one week post-op!

http://www.mostlymissy.com/2013/02/the-thirteen-pound-week.html

New post on Mostly Missy, about surgery day realities and coming home.

http://www.mostlymissy.com/2013/02/surgery-day-and-home-sweet-home.html

New Blog post about the 2 week Optifast Pre-op diet and small (but exciting!) victories.

 

http://www.mostlymissy.com/2013/01/pre-op-diet-small-victories

     My road to Weight Loss Surgery has been a winding one.  I've bounced between doing it, and not, between moving quickly, and taking months between each move.  I began looking into it in the wrong frame of mind.  A well meaning relative mentioned a friend that had gone through with the lap band, with great results.  It got my wheels turning, and I thought "He is probably right in thinking this is the only way I can ever do it".  With such a negative attitude, no wonder I decided it wasn't for me.  A year later I went to a seminar at a nearby hospital.  Then I stagnated, and 6 months went by before I did anything.  Since I have been actively pursuing it, I've flown through the steps (which I will describe below), in a short span of about a months and a half!  Once I decided on a sleeve, and decided I would be going with Dr. De La Cruz-Munoz, I have been so on the ball with my appointments and scheduling, that after about a month, I was given a surgery date...

 

  January 28, 2013!

      As I mentioned earlier, there were a few things I needed to do before I would be operated on.  I can't say how many of these are required by all doctors, I only know they were required by mine.

• Blood Work - I went to a Lab Corp near my house, they tested for a bunch of things, but it was nothing crazy.  Between the waiting, blood tests, and urine test, I was there less then an hour. 
• Psychological Exam - Another very short appointment.  It took longer for me to drive downtown to get here and wait, than I was actually in the appointment for.  He just chatted with me for about 20 minutes.   The main purpose of this appointment is to make sure there are no underlying issues that could be stirred up or worsened by the massive shift to your life.  He asked why I was getting the surgery (does anybody ever answer anything but "to lose weight!"?), and how I thought my life would change.  It was a very easy appointment.
• Nutritionist - This is something everybody has to do.  The doctor I saw was in the same office as my surgeon, so that made it easy.  It was more like a consultation than anything.  He took note of my current eating habits, and I asked a couple questions.  He is supposed to be great at what he does, but he was a little gruff for my liking.  Smiles are free, dude!
• Post-Op Class - This also took place at my surgeon's office.  The class was held in the lobby with about 6 other pre-op patients.  One of the Patient Advocates (somebody who helps you coordinate, helps with any questions. Jessica is my go-to gal!) discussed every little step to be taken pre- and post op.  From what to do, to what to eat, and in what stages.  Then, the nutritionist came in, and discussed more about protein shakes and steps to be taken.  (I will go more into these as I do them).  This was very long, so I'm glad my Mama was there to keep me company! :)
• Upper GI - This has been the most unpleasant appointment to date.  This was at a hospital of my choosing, one that took my insurance.  I had to change into a gown, swallow a bunch of yucky things, and roll around awkwardly on a cold table ("like a rotisserie chicken" as one tech so eloquently put it), while two technicians took pictures of me.  It's as bad as it sounds.  You have to swallow something highly carbonated, to puff up your stomach (and not burp!), then two types of contrast.  The contrast doesn't taste particularly bad, in fact, it's pretty bland, but the consistency, oh man.  The thick one is like paint.  It's so thick and coats your mouth and throat as you choke it down.  That was the worst.  The thinner one is pretty watery, but chalky.  Both were gross, and I'm thankful it's over.  That appointment took about an hour and a half.  
• UPAC (UHealth Preoperative Assement Center)-  This appointment is at the hospital that my surgery will be at.  It's to test me to make sure I am okay to go under anethesia. I can't say if all surgeons require this.  They asked me a couple of questions and rew some blood.  No biggie!
• Shakes - Two weeks prior to surgery (which means starting today!), I am on a diet of  OptiFast Shakes.  So, for the next two weeks, I will have nothing but 5 of these a day, with some sugar free jello, and plenty of water.  It isn't going to be fun, however, I am expected to lose 22 pounds in two weeks! That's a nice step in the right direction! The purpose of these shakes is to shrink the liver, making it less fatty.  This in turn, will make the surgical procedure easier, and quicker to heal. *

     It's taken me a few steps to get to where I am, but I'm so close! These are only the first of many steps on my road to being who I want to be! I'm ready!

 

* My Dad is actually doing this shakes with me, so that I'm not hungry and grumpy alone.  Such solidarity! :)

 

 

 

     2013 is going to be a good year, I can just feel it.  By the end of 2012, I hit my highest weight, at 316 pounds. At 5'10, this puts my BMI at 45.3.  Having gained about 150-160 pounds in the past 6 years, these numbers are terrifying.

     Everybody has their reasons for gaining weight.  What starts off as one bad reason, easily dominoes into many.  As I grew up, youth sports ended (and by sports I mean one season of softball and a couple of cheerleading), I got a car and a drivers license , and I got a boyfriend.  Not any of these are to blame, but each one further reduced my activity level.  I no longer cheered, I no longer walked around the neighborhood with my friends, I was over the moon to be snuggled up on the couch with my fabulous boyfriend, getting takeout and watching TV every night.  After 3 years, about 70 pounds, and a horrific breakup, my weight continued to spiral out of control.  It's been a vicious cycle of low self-esteem and comfort eating. 

     Now, at 22, I refuse to move any further into this whole I've dug for myself.  I am physically uncomfortable in my body.  I do not like pictures with my body in them, I don't like shopping for clothes, I don't like going to crowded places, or the beach, I get out of breath easily, my knees hurt when I climb stairs, I get hot easily, I am painfully aware of how much space I take up, and avoid looking in the mirror. In my head I see myself as I was 6 years ago, so being reminded of how big I am is both daunting and distressing. This is not what I wanted 22 to be.  This is not what 22 should feel like! I will be 23 at the end of February.  So for the new year, I am giving myself my old body back.  The one I was not ashamed of, the one that's in here somewhere.

This year, I am moving forward with weight loss surgery, and with my life.

 

     Weight loss surgery is a tricky thing.  For every supporter, it feels as if there are three naysayers.  Many people struggle to decide if it is the right choice for them.  It has taken me almost a year of indecisiveness before I truly felt that it was the right option for me.

     Now that I've decided Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) is my next move, and I've decided on a procedure that is best for me (Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy), I'm 10 different shades of excited!

     My insurance didn't cover any WLS.  I am lucky enough that my parents can afford to pay for it, and am SO grateful they offered! (Thanks M & D!).  Since I am a self-paying patient, I do not have to do the 3-6 months of medically supervised diets.  At my initial appointment with the doctor I've decided to go with, I was told if I did everything I needed to, I could be sleeved in a month!

     Before I can have the surgery, I need to have blood work done (check!), get a psychiatric evaluation (appointment in two days), consult with a nutritionist to get the skinny on what post-op life will be like (also in two days), and have an Upper GI (I can't keep forgetting to make this appointment!).  I will also be on an Opti-fast Shake diet for two weeks prior to surgery, to help reduce the size of my liver, making for an easier surgery.

     I've spent hours upon hours reading everything I can find, trying to figure out what to expect.  All I know for sure is that everybody's experience is different, and that doesn't give me a whole lot to go on.  So for now, I'm going to go with my gut (lord knows there's plenty of it!), and jump in.  Sometimes, you just have to go for it. 

 

 

 It's been months since I have decided that I wanted to have weight loss surgery. I have also decided that the band is the way I want to go. I like the reversibility of it, since you never know what life will demand from you. However, despite my decision being made, I have yet to do anything about it besides the two group information seminars I attended back in spring. Why is that? 

I know I am afraid. But you know what else I'm afraid of? Being this way forever. Continuing to get bigger and bigger until the desks at school go from a tight, uncomfortable fit, to not being able to squeeze into them at all.  I'm afraid of having to buy a pair of jeans in a bigger size for the millionth time. I'm afraid of traveling, and having to ask for a seat belt extension for the first time.  I'm afraid of accepting an invite to a theme park, the seats were tight last summer, and I don't want my friends to see me not fit. I'm afraid of breaking a chair one day. 

These are not things I ever imagined I'd be afraid of. The list goes on and on, and I worry it will continue to grow, if I don't take that first step towards the surgery. It's time to face the music and move forward. I want this, and it isn't just going to fall into my lap. 

I want to kickbox. I want to shop in any store I want. I want to be comfortable in heels. I want to take pole dancing classes. I want to book cheap last minute flights. I want to ride a roller coaster again. I want to love being in pictures. I want jewelry to fit. I want to be comfortable in a bathing suit. 

 I will be calling next week, no more procrastinating. 

"you don't have to see the whole staircase, just the first step."

     I went to another seminar last week, this one at South Miami Baptist Hospital.  My family usually goes to Baptist, so they wanted to see what they had to offer for weight loss surgery.  However, this surgeon was very brusque.  I did not like him at all.  He was very condescending to other people's questions, and was very quick with his presentation, as if he wanted to be in and out of there as fast as possible.  

     I know a doctor's personality isn't the only reason you'd choose them, but in my mind at least, it definitely plays a part.  I have so many questions, and I don't want to be afraid to ask them! The doctors at Jackson South were much more personable and helpful, and seemed just as knowledgeable as the doctor at Baptist.  

     I have been bouncing back and forth between wanting the lap band or the sleeve.  I stared this journey interested in the sleeve.  I like the sleeve because it isn't permanent.  I can always decide to take it out if I so decide, for whatever reason (I understand this isn't supposed to be temporary, but the point is that it CAN be).  I also like that it's only one incision, and there is no risk of anything leaking out of my stomach or intestines, that they aren't removing anything from my body, and that there is no dumping syndrome.  However, the thought of having a plastic contraption in my body, part of it beneath the skin where you can feel it, sort of freaks me out.  

     I then was leaning towards the sleeve (VSG).  I like the sleeve because it has a higher average weight loss.  I like that there is nothing foreign in my body, and that my weight loss will surely be permanent.  The chopping and disposing of parts of my body makes me a little queasy though, but I realize, as, usual, I am probably over thinking it.  There are also multiple incision points for the sleeve. 

     Having talked all this over with my parents (who I feel so blessed to have in my corner 100%), I am once again leaning towards the lap band.  As my Dad put it, you can always revise and go from lap band to sleeve, but once you do the sleeve, it's impossible to reverse.  So as of now, I am going to continue exploring lap band information, and stories.  

     I may see if any other hospitals have weight loss surgery programs or seminars, just to see what else is out there, but there is a part of me that is ready to commit to Jackson South, the first seminar I attended. 

The past month or so I have been looking into WLS.  The idea was brought up to me by my Dad, who was thinking about having the surgery even though he wouldn't really qualify.  I, on the other hand, most definietly do.  Originally, the lap band was my first choice, but after further research, and attending a seminar at a local hospital, I've decided that the Gastic Sleeve (VSG) is more up my alley.  I like the thought of not having something inside of me that will constantly need adjusting, some foreign thing I'm afraid I'd feel under my skin.  I would also worrying about something possibly happening while trvaeling, and the stress and panic coming from having to deal with it away from home. 

In my mind, writing this out is making it feel very real.  My Dad has said he would pay for it, so going through my insurance won't be a concern, (although I will see if I qualify, no harm in trying to save the old man some cash!). Both of my parents attended my first seminar with me, and I will be attending a second on tomorrow with just my Mom.  After, I will decide which hospital I like better, and arrange for a consultation to get the ball rolling.

I don't know if I've ever felt such a mix of nervousness and excitement! I haven't told anybody, save for my parents and one friend.  My brothers don't know, and none of my other friends or family know that I've made this decision. And to be quite frank, I'm not sure how many of them I will actually tell.  My brothers will know, but outside of that, I will tell my family if they ask. My friends...I've pretty much decided that I will tell them I've decided to cut back drinking so much, reduce carbs, and eat much smaller meals more frequently (all true!).  I would just rather not deal with the judging eyes, thinking I "took the easy way out".

I have a few concerns still, despite being pretty convinced I want to go through with the VSG.  I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and I am curious to how it and all it's side effects with be affected.  I also wonder about future pregnancies, and what new habits I will pick up.  If everything goes to plan, I will be having the surgery and living on my own for the first time, all around the same time period.  It will be interesting to see how much will change!