susan_p
Feb 28th, 2008 Test! Can I update?
August 2003 - I have been married 26 years and have one son who is 24. My husband has Huntington's Disease which is a terminal, neurological disorder. I am his caregiver. I also work full time. I have been large since my son was born. I really have accepted my size in many ways. But recently I have found myself kind of taking stock of my life. Maybe this is a mid-life crisis! Ha Ha During all this reflection I came to realize that I am headed for health problems. I have been very lucky in that I haven't had any so far. But, this last few years my blood pressure had been running a little high. My feet are hurting me, when I get up in the morning it takes time to get moving. I get out of breath at the simplest things. Plus my Mother now has diabetes (she is large, also). I have to be around to care for my husband! Plus, while all the woman in our family are large, they also live into their 80's and even 90's! I would like to be healthier if I'm going to live that long! So I am looking into all my options at this point. I need to be educated so I can make the right choice.
August 30, 2003 I went to my PCP yesterday and talked about the different surgeries. I told him I lean towards the LapBand. He says he will support whatever decision I make. He is willing to write letters or call the insurance company to help get approval. He is getting me a referrel to a surgeon in Austin to learn more. I feel about 80% sure I'll do this. I need to be healthy. I am now taking blood pressure meds! I just see a real down hill slide if I don't do something now. Some people have said this is the easy way out, I don't think so. Lord knows I have tried so many other things and failed, mediFast, NutriSystem, WW....every crazy diet someone at works passes around! I hope the surgeon agree's I am a good canidate.
Feb 7, 2004 - Well, I thought I should update. Even if no one ever reads this I feel better writing it down. I am a bit frustrated right now. My PCP is very supportative, my first calls to the insurance company have left me feeling I have at least a 50/50 chance of approval first off and I am ready to go. BUT...the only surgeons in the Austin, Texas area to do the Lap-Band have decided NOT to take insurance anymore! You must pay upfront and try to get reimbursed yourself! There is no way I can do that. So, my search is now extended out further from home, to Dallas or San Antonio. It's a little harder since I don't live there and am not familiar with doctors in those towns. I know insurance is a pain to work with. But I just can't see them getting much business when they will make people pay first.
August 12, 2004 - So, the journey continues! I so love reading other peoples profiles, it has helped me lots thru this. I want to keep mine up, just in case someone did stumble over it. Not that it may be much help! I have been attending a WLS support group. Everyone there has been very kind and helpfull. I have decided after nearly a year and a half of research that I am going to have the RNY. I guess I'm glad the stumbing blocks were in my way before, it caused me to keep looking. Part of me is scared, part of me excited. I guess that's normal. My husband has now been moved to a nursing home. Very hard to do, I took care of him at home for 10 years. The last 5-6 years he was pretty much total care, diapers, feeding, bathing, etc. So for the first time in many years I can concentrate a little more on myself. Of course, I still see him daily! And take him out to movies here and there. I have Cigna HMO, and they DO cover WLS! They have some pretty strict guides, but I think I can take care of them. The only problem I am dealing with now is that there are NO surgeons in Austin that take Cigna HMO. There are only two that I have found that even do RNY. They do take Cigna PPO, so I may switch. We are in open enrollment right now. But PPO is more expensive weekly as well as more out of pocket. The good thing for me is........I am the benefits person! So I have connections a lot further up in Cigna to help me. I spoke to our HR director at Corporate (who offices here in my building!) and he is very supportive. He suggested I call our rep and see if we can work something out to somehow use the HMO and save me money. Guess we'll see what happens when I call!
August 29, 2004 - I called the rep at Cigna. She was very nice and even emailed me the documents they use at Cigna as a guideline to decide if you can have the surgery! I am staying with HMO, so I will have to travel to Houston to have the surgery. It's only about 2 1/2 hours from Taylor. I have been having these strange spells with my heart, it skips a beat. Once or twice would be no big deal, but sometimes it skips every 3rd or 4th beat for an hour! My doctor had me wear a monitor for 24 hours. I won't know what they found for a week. I sure hope it's nothing that would keep me from the surgery! I also have a sleep study scheduled for Sept 11th. I figure the more I have done now maybe the quicker it can go when I am ready. I have to finish this doctor supervised diet I am on. I lost 6 pounds in 4 weeks. Then went to ONE dinner out and gained back 5 pounds! How disgusting is that!? But it was Italian, all carbs! I knew better!
Sept 14, 2004 Well my heart monitor thingy showed nothing! So I am going to see the cardiologist just to be sure. I had my sleep study and I do have sleep apnea. So I have to have a CPAP machine. I hate the idea of that, but I am so tired of being tired I am willing to use it if it'll help. Plus that is another co-morbidity for me. I am just going along, jumping each hoop that is required. By the first of the year everything should be in place and I'll be good to go!
Sept 30, 2004 OK, moving things along! I am 99% sure I am going with the Dr's Davis (Robert and Garth). Unless I find something horrible about them before December! I have talked with one of their patients on the phone, Kay in Houston, Thank you Kay! She was so sweet to talk to me and share about her experience. I have a phsyc eval scheduled for Oct 12th with Jim McVey, many thanks to Gina in Leander for telling me about him! He seemed very nice over the phone and happy to help. I still need to call my current ob/gyn to talk to him about a letter. I also want to get copies of my medical records from him. I hope to see the surgeon the first week or so of December. My plan is to have all the copies of my med records, letters from my gyn, PCP and diet doctor and my phsyc eval letter with me when I go. Time sure moves slow when you are waiting! I have to say I have never met such caring, wonderful people as I am meeting everyday here at OH. Everyone is so willing to reach out and offer help. What a blessing!
October 12, 2004 - I had my pscyh eval today with Jim McVey. I think it went really well. He mostly wanted to ask me questions and be sure I was making an informed decision. He is going to mail my letter to me. I guess next step is an appt with my ob/gyn to get records and see if he will support my decision. I want to have everything ready and together when I see the surgeon. I have narrowed my choice of surgeons to either the Dr's Davis or Dr. Wongsa. I have a friend who is an ob/gyn in Houston and she did some checking around and said they are very highly regarded. As a matter of fact several nurses have had RNY and used Dr. Wongsa because they considered him the best surgeon they know. I think when folks in the medical field think that it must say something!
Oct 25, 2004 - Went to the Cardiologist today, had a Stress Echo test. He said everything looks very good. I have no plaque build up, which is good. The walls of my heart are a little thicker than normal. He said this is caused by untreated High Blood Pressure. I did go several years with it being high without seeing my PCP. He felt it could possibly correct itself if I can keep my blood pressure controlled, AND if I could lose some weight. This doctor does NOT believe in WLS! He said too many people die from it. I didn't want to argue with him. It's too bad because he could write me a GOOD letter! Piddle.
Oct 28, 2004 - I have a consultation scheduled with my surgeon! Wow, I can't believe it...it doesn't seem real. It's a month away, Dec 3rd with Dr. Wongsa in Houston. I need to see my PCP to get the official referral and a copy of my medical records to take with me.
Nov 4, 2004 - OK. I have switched surgeon's. I had been kind of uneasy about Dr. Wongsa, even if I couldn't really explain why. I think everyone's warnings about him being hard and not having a good bedside manner. My diet dr asked if I had ever thought about WLS. Wow! I was glad he brought it up first! He is all for it for me. He is willing to write me a letter for insurance. He asked me about surgeon's and I told him about Wongsa. He says I should be comfortable with everything about my surgeon. He pointed out that skill and good bedside manner can go hand in hand. So, I am going with my first gut feelings. Which was to use the Dr's Davis. I have called and have an appt on Wednesday, Dec 8th. I feel so much better, I am at peace with my choice. When I go in I will be soooooo prepared! I have a folder with all my medical records going back to 1990, I had a phsyc eval and have that letter, I have typed up a brief medical history, I also typed a Diet and Weight History going back to 1979. I will get a letter from my PCP stating medical necessity and another letter from my diet doctor stating the same. I hope having all this will make the process smoother. I am going to go talk to the HR guy in Corporate right before I go for my appt. I am hopping to have him intervene before it even goes in and get it covered. He is a nice guy, overweight and has been talking to me about all of my research. One of my BIG arguments with the insurance company is that they cover alcohol and drug addition treatment. No questions asked! So if I wanted treatment for those I could call a number and be set! But WLS requires many hoops. If they can recognize drug and alcolhol addiction as an ILLNESS, then they should recognize obesity as an illness!
Dec 8, 2004 Saw Dr Garth Davis today for my consult. He is really a nice doctor. I was comfortable with him. He didn't rush me, even though I know he was very busy. He says I am a good canidate for WLS. Now I just need a letter from my PCP to send everything into the insurance company. We are shooting for Feb 2005. I can't believe it's all really rolling along now. It's been nearly two years since I started researching this. A part of me just can't get my mind around the fact that I can really be 100 pounds lighter by this time next year!
Dec 23, 2004 Spoke to Joan at Dr. Garth's office. Dr Garth has written my letter for insurance, now they need his transcriptionist to type it up. Joan expects everything to go out to the insurance company next week. So I just wait. Golly, waiting is hard and I really haven't started yet!! I sure hope there are no problems. I did give a letter to the Corporate HR guy the day before I saw Dr Garth. He later told me he shared it with the higher up rep we use at Cigna and they both agree there should be no problem with my approval. I will be holding him to that!
Jan 5, 2005 Well, spoke to Phoebe at Dr Garth's office. They haven't sent my stuff in yet! She called my insurance today and they told her I have an exclusion. My insurance does have an exclusion, but it reads "except if medically necessary". Seems the customer service rep didn't see that. I called my rep at Cigna (pays to be the benefit manager!) and she is calling Phoebe to get it straightened out. My Cigna rep says it will be about two weeks after they get the paperwork in to Cigna to get an answer. I sure wish this had gone in back in the middle of December when I gave it to them. But I know they have lots of patients. Reckon that is why we are called patients? Cuz it takes lots of patience on our part?!
Jan 6, 2005 Just waiting and thinking. Trying to practise eating like I will need to after. Sure is hard. How will I ever do this? I want to make it work so badly. I am hoping that since I shouldn't be hungry it will help. I believe I am as ready as a person can be. I know the first few months will be tough. I am sure I will be here writing it out. I want to think of something happy! OK, things I want to do, goals, if you will. Wear "normal" shoes instead of tennis shoes all the time. DONE! Cross my legs. DONE! Feel like a real lady and not a hippo when I walk across a room. Getting there! Buy cute clothes in a regular store. Even little boutiques if I want! DONE! Learn to ride a horse. DONE! Not be the largest person in the room. DONE! Fit in the airplane seat. DONE!Go to a restaurant and say "yes, a booth is fine". DONE! Walk, walk, walk without my hips and back hurting. DONE! Learn to dance. DONE! Own and wear a "little black dress" that you always hear every woman should have.DONE! Wear pretty underwear, even if no one see's it! DONE! Not worry about parking spots where I can have enough room to get my fat self out of the truck! DONE!
Jan 10, 2005 - Called Cigna, they have my paperwork!! Yay! At least I am not having to track down a "lost" fax. I spoke to a Patty in the authorization dept, she said it is in "nurse" review. Praying for a "yes" really soon!
Jan 12, 2005 - Phoebe from Dr Davis' office called. Cigna needs the chart notes for July thru Dec showing my weight at the diet doctor. I also need to see a dietcian. With those two things I will get approval! So close! I have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow to get the dietcian appt going. I will BEG to get it ASAP!!
Jan 20, 2005 - Thought I'd catch up here! I found a nutritionist and had my appt on 1-17-05. She faxed her letter to Phoebe at Dr. Davis' office yesterday. Phoebe already has the pages from me of my dr diet monthly visits. Actually I went more like every 2-3 weeks. Except in Oct! I was out of town a week, then Dr Turner was out of town, and it ended up being 11-02-05 before I went in. So no Oct entry. Anyway, every thing is going to the lady at Cigna and we should hear something in a day or two.
Jan 26, 2005 - As usual a "day or two" in insurance language is a lot longer than a real day or two! I called Phoebe at Dr. D's office just to check, even though I know she will call me as soon as she hears. She did say someone from Cigna called and spoke to Joan (office manager) late yesterday. They were wanting to verify some things. They told her just another day or two and they would have the answer. At this point I am thinking it may end up being March before I can have surgery. On a personal, un-WLS related thing.....my husband has really been declining. We have moved him to another hall at the nursing home. The hall he was own is for more independent folks, so they only have one aid for 40 people. He has become completely incontinent, and must have help with everything anymore. This new hall has one aid for every 10 patients. It makes me very sad to see my husband like he is. He is only 47 years old. He is so frail. Huntington's Disease is the most horrible disease there is. It's a lot like Lou Gerhigs Disease, only death from LG is in just 3-5 years mostly. HD can last 25-30 years. It took me a while to realize his decline, then a little longer to accept it. It is all in God's hands. I am thankfull knowing when he does pass away at least he will go to Heaven.
Jan 31, 2005 - ARGH! Cigna has denied me! I am so upset. They say I met all their requirements, even agreed I do have a 6 month dr diet. HOWEVER!! They feel my diet doctor should have written more details about my visits. All they orig asked for were chart notes, so that is what I sent them. I need to go thru my medical records and look for notes about my visits. There are some typed and signed notes with a lot of detail for several of my visits, but not all of them. I will see how many visits have those notes. I saw him 9 times in 6 months. I am also going to take all my paperwork to the HR guy at Corporate. Since we are self funded he can reverse their decision with an email. I will see what he says. Golly I sure hope I have typed notes for lots of those visits!
Feb 4, 2005 - I just have to post about an amazing thing that happened the other night. After I was denied by Cigna I talked to the guy in HR Corporate, he had the higher up rep at Cigna call me. She looked into everything and they have decided if my diet doctor will agree to a "peer to peer" review by phone, and of course, say the right things, they will approve me. My problem is the diet doctor left the clinic where I go! He went to work for the county. So I called the clinic and spoke to my nurse, she was going to try to find a phone number for me. I left work and headed home. I started to go by Wal-Mart, but decided to just head home. After supper my nephew and I decided to go over to Wal-Mart, I got my list together and we headed out. Got my stuff, headed to a check out line. In front of me in line was a couple from my church. She asked me when was my surgery going to be? So I started telling her my insurance woes and how I needed to find Dr. Turner from the clinic. Taylor is a pretty small town, so she knew who he was. Well, a lady in line at the next check out counter overheard us talking and said, "excuse me, are you looking for Dr. Turner?" I said yes, she said she is the manager of the health center! No way!! Sure enough she gave me her card and said call her in the morning and she would give me his number. Is that too cool?! I called him, but he is out of town until Monday. So I have to get thru this weekend. But I have already put some stuff together to fax him, to remind him who I am, and give him the list if what Cigna requires. So, what happens if they still turn me down? I am unsure at this point. I need this surgery. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! I want to feel better. I will cross that bridge of what to do when it gets here. Maybe I would have to re-do the 6 months of diet.....I am unsure.
Feb 8, 2005 - I AM APPROVED!!! I can not believe it. I didn't have to go thru an appeal or anything. Just kept trying to provide CIGNA with what they needed. I do not know if it was the "peer to peer" review with Dr Turner, or the fact that yesterday morning I learned that CIGNA did NOT have the 3 pages of detailed notes from my diet. Either way Phoebe from Dr. Garth's office just called me and said I am approved. I am now waiting for her to call back with a surgery date. I told her I will take what ever day they give me! Now I find myself with so many emotions. Some of this is almost surreal. I am excited at the thought of being healthier and thinner. But I am nervous about the whole thing. I worry about giving up my "friend" food. HAH! Some friend! Food is killing me! I just want to be sucessful, I want to be healthy. WOOHOO!!!!! I have a date! Thursday, February 24th, 2005 will be my third re-birth! Born 1960; born again 1973; born yet again with a new chance at a healthy life 2005!!
Feb 11, 2005 - Went to Houston yesterday for all my pre-ops. It was a long day. The nice thing is at Methodist they checked me like I was in the hospital, gave me a room with a bed, chair and tv. My mom was with me so it was very comfortable for both us. Except I couldn't eat anything until after my gallbladder ultra sound, which was LAST!! They drew blood, gave me an EKG, had me meet with a respitory therapist, the nutritionist and the anethesiologist. Then I had a chest x-ray and the ultra sound. Everyone we met was really nice, and tried to make us comfortable. I am now on a low fat, low carb diet until a few days before surgery. Then I will be eating light (soup, yougart, salad) until the day before surgery. The day before surgery I will be on clear liquids only. Less than 2 weeks away! My mother will be going with me and we will stay at the Marriott Medical Center. I have to stay until my one week check up. Then I can go home. I am ready to do this.
Feb 17, 2005 - Well, one week to go. I am excited and ready. So far I am not nervous. I have been on the low carb diet for a week now. I have lost 8 pounds so far. Maybe I can do another 8 in the next week? We'll see. This has been easier this time, maybe because I know I am going to have surgery? I don't know. I have all my rx's filled and ready to take with me. I have bought some things I will need that week after surgery when I am staying in the hotel. I really want to do this right. I am determined to use my pouch as the tool it should be, and follow the rules. Ask me in a year how I did!! LOL
Feb 21, 2005 - Just a few days to go. I am at work today and tomorrow. I'll leave Wed for Houston. I met Gina F yesterday at Lone Star Cafe. She is my Angel! She gave me a lovely journal to write about my WLS journey in. It has a place for writing and pages in the back for pictures. She also gave me a pill crusher, two little containers and a very small spoon and fork! I have taken a few different "pre" pictures. Tonight my Mom is coming over and we will take some in my swimsuit. ACK! Those pictures will certainly "show" all. I did all my measurements and wrote them in my journal last night. I surely do carry all my fat in my middle! At my largest point I am 53 inches around. I am ready to get this show on the road. I am not nervous so far, just ready to go!
Feb 23, 2005 Tomorrow is the big day! I am a little nervous, but not too bad. I hope I remember everything I need to take with me. I leave in just a few hours for Houston to spend the night at the Marriott Medical Center. A guy I work with and his wife gave me points enough to cover three nights, what a blessing! I have to stay until my one week check up with Dr Garth. My Mom will be with me all week. My tummy is a little unsettled this morning, but I am ok otherwise. Wow, a whole new life is ahead for me!
Mar 5, 2005 Wow, I am at day 9! The days seemed so slow at the time, but now I feel like I flew thru them. Let me update my surgery info. Left home on Wed, 2/23 to drive to Houston. Arrived, checked into the Marriott Medical Center. It was very nice, connected to all kinds of medical towers and to the Methodist Hospital. My Mom went with me to help take care of me. After we settled into the room we went and walked to the hospital where we needed to be in the morning. I wanted to be sure Mother knew where things were. We checked out the various restaurants she could use, etc. Left at 7:45 am on the 24th for the Methodist West Pavilion. Took us 5 minutes to be there! Got all the final paperwork done and they sent us to pre-op. I was feeling a little nervous, but not bad. Mostly I was STARVING!!! I had not eaten anything since noon the day before, and of course I had taken that stuff that causes the big D, so I was empty! I got undressed, hooked to an IV, into a bed.......and waited. And waited some more. And waited a little more! Good grief. People were coming and going, I was stuck! I swear my stomach was eating a hole in my backbone. I don't ever remember being that hungry in my life. I was the third surgery of the day. Dr Davis had an unexpected problem with the second person and had to do thier's open. So it took longer than expected. I didn't go into the O/R until 5:30 that evening! Mother said by 8:00 Dr Davis came and told her it went very well, no problems. They told her go on to the hotel and rest, cause I wouldn't even be in a room until close to 10:00 pm. My first memory is waking up about 4:00 am and the nurse taking my blood pressure, etc. I remeber her giving me a shot in my stomach, which I knew was a blood thinner. I hit my pain button and was out again. I woke up about 8:00 am and Mother was there. They wanted me to get up and try to walk a little, even if just in my room. I got up, but I was so sleepy. I just could not keep my eyes open. I told them take the morphine pump off, it is making me too sleepy, I don't like that. So they unhooked it. I sat in a chair, but still kept sleeping. Every time I tried to stand things would go black and I couldn't hear anyone! They came and wheeled me to have my leak test. They got me on a table and had me sip this stuff from a straw, icky! But as soon as I sipped I was out and asleep again. They kept shaking me and calling "Ms Hayes, please wake up. Take a sip". I got enough in for the test, but remember very little of it. Back in my room they took my blood pressure, it was 80/lower 40's. Something was wrong, they took blood from me and started me on a faster IV to get me more hydrated. The blood work came back showing my blood count at 8, normal is 14. It turns out I had lost a lot of blood overnight after the surgery. I know my drain was filling up and had been emptied at least twice overnight. They debated giving me blood, but would rather not. If my count went any lower at all they would. Instead I got another bag of fast fluid in my IV and a bag of iron. They also gave me a shot to help my body make more blood cells. At this point they told me to take it easy, don't worry too much about walking. I needed to rebuild blood first. So I rested Friday and Saturday. By Sunday I was feeling lots better. I am so greatfull for all the prayer going up for me. Mother called my Pastor when they figured out about my blood and they prayed together on the phone. I talked to several from church on Sunday afternoon and Monday, it was so good to hear about the prayer going up for me. Monday I headed to the hotel to stay until Thursday when I had an appt with Dr Davis for my one week check up. Mother had to dress me from my underwear up! As she put my tennis shoes on me I started to cry. I was just thinking how hard it is to need someone to do such a simple thing for me. How much I appreciated that she loved me and was there for me. How hard it must be for Mr Hayes (my husband of nearly 28 years) to wait and depend on others for his every need. But I realise that I take care of him because of my love for him. It was just such a humbling experience for me. I take care of everybody. I am very independent. Don't get me wrong, I know the Lord is my strength. But He and I together can do anything. It was hard to need care for a change. Everyday I feel a bit more like my old self. I even made a brief trip with Mother to Wal-Mart yesterday. WHEW!! Felt like I had run 10 miles! SO I can see it is going to take a bit to be back to running around doing eveything.
April 5, 2005 - Well, I certainly have a lot to update here! Things continued to do well for me until the 12th day after surgery. I woke that morning running a fever of 102 degrees. Thankfully I had an appt with my regular PCP first thing that morning. He took one look at me and did two things, had blood drawn and admitted me to the hospital. I was dehydrated, I think the high fever was contributing to that. It took 3 1/2 hours and five different people trying to get me an IV started. My blood work came back showing my white blood cells were way up there, so I had some sort of infection. They started anti-biotics in my IV. The next morning they took me for a chest x-ray and a CT Scan. As soon as I was back at my room I called Dr. Garth's office, I talked to Phoebe. I told her what ws going on. She let Dr. Garth know and within a few hours he called me. He asked me what had happened, I told him the events. He said he wanted me in Houston and an ambulance was picking me up to bring me to him. He also said he spoke to two doctors and the radiologist, and they were all clueless! We are a very small town, maybe 20 beds at our hospital, it's great for a simple thing, like a broken leg. Anything else is out of their league. He also told me he felt we were dealing with an abcess in my abdomen. Remember all the bleeding after surgery? Yup, lots of that old blood was still in there. My pouch was sitting in it, so it couldn't heal properly, so I ended up with a small leak. Thank the Good Lord for a cautious, caring surgeon. Dr Garth wasted no time in getting me where I could get the best medical care. The ambulance ride was 3 hours, very bumpy! When I got to Methodist they let me rest that night. In the morning I saw Dr Robert, was his face ever a welcome sight! Then I had a "pic" line inserted. It is a very deep IV that goes on your inner, upper arm. The line runs up the arm, over the chest and stops a few inches from your heart. It had two pigtail things hanging out of it. Once that is in they can draw blood, give meds, etc without sticking you. Then they sent me for an upper GI and a CT Scan. Sure enough, I had a small leak and a big abcess of old nasty blood. They put a drain in to get the abcess out. The radiologist did this under some kind of med that made me sleep. They also did it with a CT Scan machine showing them the best place to put the drain. Later I was told when they made the hole a lot of nasty, stinky blood came pouring out. Gross. Then it was just a matter of waiting. I was in the hospital two weeks getting anti-biotics by IV, and getting fed by IV with this baby formula looking stuff. I had nothing by mouth during this time (except stuff when I had another Upper GI or CT Scan). I sure was getting tired of the hospital! I saw Dr. Garth everyday during this time. He is the BEST doctor I have ever met. He finally let me go home, still with the drain though. But I was able to start clear liquids, then follow the normal progression as if I was at the beginning. After I was home I was having problems with being very queasy, even water upset my pouch. Before my complications I had been up to pureed foods and was doing really great. I called Dr Garth, who by this time had to be gettting sick of me! I had thrown up water! I was crying and so afraid I was never going to feel good again. He reassured that after being two weeks with nothing by mouth my pouch was just very sensitive. Then he called me the next morning to check on me, I told you he is the best! He called in an rx for phenegrin (sp!) and that helped me get thru the first few days. It was a struggle to get in enough water. And what is really strange is that food held no appeal for me at all! I was expecting head hunger and to have problems mourning food. But I have found it just doesn't hold any interest for me. Now I am nearly 6 weeks post op and feeling good. I have been able to get in my 8 glasses of water these last few days, almost like I've a turned a corner. Food is still not of much interest me, much to my surprise! I think because of my complications I am a little behind where I might otherwise have been. I am still on pureed food until this Tuesday, and still can only eat about 2 ounces at a time. If I eat ONE bite too much it feels like a rock in my pouch! People have asked if I am glad I did this........when I was going thru all the problems I was NOT! I was regretting this big time! But now I do not, I am glad I did it. I have hope for a healthier future. At my pre-op's I was 298 pounds. Last week at Dr. Garth's I was at 252 pounds. That is a 46 pound loss in about 5 weeks, when in my life have I ever been able to do that? NEVER. Also, my blood pressure is normal! It has been since surgery. No more blood pressure meds for me! Whoo-Hoo!! I am so thankful for all the prayer that was going up for me thru these difficult days. My family, church family and my OH family have been wonderful. Thank you Jesus for keeping me and letting me go on to a great future.
April 18, 2005 - Things have been going along pretty good. Except I have not been able to really progress past the pureed stage. Anything that is too dense just sits there for HOURS or until I throw it up. Saw Dr. Garth, had an upper GI. I do have a small stricture. Those two weeks with nothing by mouth while my pouch was healing most likely caused this. I was eating and progressing fine before the complications. Anyway, in about two weeks I will have an endoscopy and they will insert a balloon to open it up a little. But since I found out I have been fine with it. I was thinking I was going crazy! I kept trying to follow my instructions and just couldn't! On an unrelated WLS note, I have called Hospice for my husband. He is down to 107 pounds, and he is 6 foot tall. He can no longer support his own weight, nor walk. It was a hard call to make. But I want his comfort and care to be the best we can make it. What is good about Hospice that many people don't know is that you do not have to be limited to 6 months. You can re-cert and stay on longer if needed. Many people with Huntington's Disease end up on Hospice for a year or more. Still, I just don't see him being here much longer. He is so tired and weak. He has really given up the fight. I am just so greatfull that he has Jesus in his heart, so I know when he leaves this life he goes on to a much better life. Whole and free.
April 30, 2005 Went to Houston On Thursday the 28th, saw Dr Garth and Dr Kaplan (Dr Garth sent me to him). Dr Kaplan was able to get me in for the endoscopy on Friday the 29th. So Mother and I stayed the night. Got to the outpatient area of the hospital at 7:00 am, they got me all ready and I had my endoscopy at 9:00 am. I don't remember very much of it! I did have a stricture, which Dr Kaplan stretched. I told him don't make it too big!! I stayed in a recovery area for maybe an hour or so, then headed home. I did sleep the three hours home while Mother drove. Hopefully I will now be able to progress better. On a happy note I weighed 236 at Dr Garth's! That is 61 pounds gone in 9 weeks. Wow. I joined the rec center in Round Rock near my office. I have been going over and walking on the treadmill and riding the bike. This morning I met a friend over there and she showed me how to use the weight equipment. I actually enjoyed myself! I had decided to join and go, even though it was so HARD at first. I am usually the largest person there. But I decided I was going to do this no matter what. I want to feel and look better. I wonder where I will be in a year? So much is changing in my life right now. I know my husband will probably not make it another year. We are both ready, at least as ready as you can be for someone to pass on. He has been sick for so many years, 10 years here at home with me caring for him. Now a year and a half in the nursing home. He is tired of the fight, he is ready to go. I have been his "mother" rather than his wife for so long.........it feels strange in many ways. I have grieved so many times over the years, at each loss he faced, which meant I faced a loss also. I wonder, will his pasing be easier because I know it's coming? Because I have already grieved so much over all the losses? Because I know he will be free of pain and whole again? Somehow I think his passing will still greatly effect me. I think my heart will be torn in two. And then I find myself wondering if I will ever have a "life" again. Being a caregiver is tough work. I have remained faithfull to the promises I made to my husband before God. I will remain failthful, and see this thru to the end. But, will I ever get to know love again? Will I ever have someone to hold me, to take care of me? Honestly, I am tired of sleeping with the dogs! Well, if any one is reading this, please don't judge me too harshly. Lord above knows, I beat myself up enough over my thoughts!
May 11, 2005 Thought I'd update a little. I did very well for a nearly a week after my dialation for my stricture, but then I started to have some problems again. They told me it can take two or three times for the stretching to stay. I have to be in Houston at the hospital at noon tomorrow. I can tell it is not as bad as the original time though. I am down to 228 pounds. It feels like things have slowed a little, but that is ok. I am still down 69 pounds! I have decided that this next year is going to be the year of "Susan". I told my Mother I know that sounds selfish! But I have spent so many years taking care of everyone else. I didn't even go to the doctor like I should! I have been the caregiver to my husband (as I told all thru here!) for years. Now that he has been in the nh for a year and a half I have more time for myself. I see him nearly daily, and stay involved in all the decisions regarding his care, but I no longer have to be "hands on" in that care. While I am working on getting to my goal weight I am "fixing" things on myself! I have been going to counseling with my Pastor. I just need to resolve some of my feelings about my husband (sadness, lonliness, relief - which brings guilt!) and also some of my feelings about my self. He has helped me so much to understand my self. He has also helped me to see it is not wrong, nor does it make me a bad person to want a future with someone in it after I lose my husband. I am going to get my teeth fixed, I have one that has always bothered me with the way it looks. But as I said, I always put myself at the bottom of the list. So I am seeing a dentist this afternoon to get started and talk about it. I have an appt to see about laser hair removal. I hate hair on my face!! I don't have lots of it, but what I have is dark. I am going to have that done. I am also going to have my underarms done. Just think when I am thinner and have my bat wings removed I can go sleeveless! I may get my legs done at a later time. So far that is it. I know, sounds selfish, huh? But I am so ready for change! It's funny how losing weight has effected so many things with me. Not just physical and not just food related.
May 19, 2005 - WOW, today is my 12 week anniversary. 3 Months have gone by, I just can't believe it. I read back thru my profile and realize how far I've come. I feel WONDERFULL!! I have energy. I go to the gym after work nearly everyday. Can you believe that?! I am wearing regular, cute shoes! I am in a size 18, down from 24's and 26's. I have lost 73 pounds as of this morning! I weigh 224. I have another 74 pounds to lose to reach my goal. I am so greatful for this chance to be healthy and look better. I have not broken a single rule so far! I have not even tried sugar, I hope to never put sugar in my mouth ever again. Ask me a year from now how I did! LOL Dr. Garth Davis is the most talented surgeon there is, in my book. His passion for helping folks who are MO is amazing. I can say enough good things about this man and his Dad, Dr Robert. Thank you Dr's Davis for giving me a life!!
June 4, 2005 - Well,this update is not WLS related, but I come here to write about my life in general, too. My sweet husband passed away on June 1st. I was able to be with him, for which I am so greatful. His passing was peaceful, he left my arms and entered Heaven. He strugged with Huntington's Disease for over 12 years. He was tired, his body worn out. We had his service yesterday at our church. It was a beautiful, uplifting time of prasie and worship to God. A celebration of Mr Hayes' life, a celebration of his NEW life in Heaven. There is a hole in my heart, rather, half my heart feels as if it is gone. We were married 27 years, 11 months and two weeks. He was 47 years old. He never even raised his voice to me in all those years, he treated me like a princess. Enjoy Heaven, my Love. Dance with the angels. You are free and whole.
June 22, 2005 - Wow, it has been 4 months since my surgery. I just can't believe it. I saw Dr Garth today. His scale shows me at 211, mine says 208. He said his scale was cheating me out of 3 pounds! It sure is! I had to have blood drawn to check all my levels. They took five or six vials! Thankfully the fella who drew it was very good at it. Dr Garth said several times he couldn't get over how good I look. Phoebe said the same thing, they sure make a girl feel good! I told Dr Garth I wanted to lose about 60 more pounds, he acted suprised. But that would leave me about 145-150 pounds. And I am 5' 6" so that is a good weight. He said his main concern is that my BMI be below 30, and I be healthy. I am getting into a size 16 pretty good now, even a few 14's, and size XL from the regular dept fits me, too. I feel so good. All my old co-morbidities are gone! I just can not believe how much better I am doing. I promise I feel at least 10 years younger. I still have not been hungry, which I count as a BIG blessing. I can eat 2-3 ounces at a time, and I eat twice a day. Food does not taste right yet, so it holds little appeal for me. It is so strange to be like some skinny girls I know who say nothing sounds good for lunch! It is three weeks today since my sweetie passed away. I am doing ok, I have moments, but I remind myself he is free and in Heaven. Still, the oddest things set me off. I find myself starting to pick up stuff at the store for him, or looking at the time and thinking I need to get out to the nursing home. Or of all things, I need to have the house painted and we have a ramp out front for his wheelchair (he needed one the last 3-4 years) and thinking of them removing it brings tears to me. It's like that is so final, he won't be back. Sigh....I reckon this is all part of the normal grief I must go thru.
July 11, 2005 - I talked to Phoebe from Dr. Garth's office today. My blood work is back and everything is perfect! All my vitamins, all my minerals! She said both the numbers on my cholesteral were excellent. What a releif. I take my vitamins, calcium and B-12 everyday without fail, but I still worry that my levels are good. It just makes me so happy that I am healthy. I weigh 203 pounds, so I'm down 95 pounds. Only 50 pounds to go. It's been 4 months, 2 1/2 weeks since surgery. I so hope I can get the rest off before the end of the year. I had been going every week night to the gym, but since Mr Hayes passed away I haven't been. I went back today right after work. So that should be good for me, I'll go every night again. I really enjoy going, it makes me feel good.
July 23, 2005 - Woohoo!! I have joined the Century Club! As of this morning I weigh 197.5 pounds. I have lost 100.5 pounds PLUS I am in ONEDERLAND!! It will be five months tomorrow since my surgery. So many things have changed. I feel 10 years younger. ALL of my co-morbidities are gone. I am wering size 16, even a few 14's! I have just started feeling hunger in the last few weeks. It is totaly different from what it used to be, and even passes if I ignore it. Also, food has started to taste more like normal for me, not everything, but many things. So far I still don't feel that old addiction to food, like wanting something to eat all the time, hungry or not. Food is just fuel, part of wht I need to live and be healthy. Wow, I would never have imagined I could feel this way about food. I am going to get my Mom to take some updated pictures tomorrow. I'll get one posted online, and get my Century Club Card!
September 19, 2005 Well, it's been nearly 7 months since my surgery. I weigh 182-185. The scales bounces up and down between there. But they do that, the weight will bounce up and down like that then they will drop 5 pounds and bounce around a new weight! As long as I go downward I am ok! I feel really good. My last blood pressure reading was 103/65! After several years of high blood pressure it's great. Even with meds we only got my blood pressure down to 150's/90's. I am trying to exercise like I should but it is hard. I have never cared for exercise, all that sweating and stuff! But I know without it I will never get to my goall weight of 145-150. Plus I know exercise is good for everyone, overweight or not. I can eat a lot more now, some days that scares me. I don't want to ever end up like I was before. Not just the weight, but the whole attitude I had about food. It's what I lived for, how sad was that? In the beginning I could only eat an ounce, I was doing good to get in 300 calories a day. Then I seemed to settle in at 600 or so for a long while. Now I can eat more. I eat twice a day most days. I get in about 1000-1200 calories a day. I get 100-120 protien a day and try to keep the carbs low, like 30 per day. I now eat pretty normal, I think. Like Saturday I attended a Bible study I go to monthly. We always eat dinner together first. I had a small piece of grilled steak, a scoop of twice baked potatoe, several bites of salad and one pinch off a dinner roll. A very small amount compared to others! But my plate held "normal" food!! I'll update more next week after I see Dr. Garth. It sure does me good going in his office, cuz they don't see you for a while and they can really see the change. They always make me feel good! Plus Dr Garth is sooooo cute, it's always a pleasure to see him!
September 30, 2005 - Saw Dr. Garth yesterday. As always everyone in the office is so sweet, makes me feel good with all the compliments! My scale says 183, his said 190! Boo! However, Dr. Garth says I should only lose maybe 20 more pounds. I really think 35 or so would be better. But I reckon plastics will remove skin, and that weighs something! He had me go have blood drawn. Now I don't have to see him until my one year anniversary. I am wearing size 14 clothes very comfortably. If I didn't have this yucky fat/skin left on my belly I would be at least a size smaller, maybe two! I think only exercise is going to make this last bit of weight come off. I am still being very careful with my food intake, and I always get my water in. Dr Garth was very happy with my calories and protein at this point. He said I should end up at 1500 calories per day, then that will be were I stay forever. I am at about 1100-1200 per day right now. My plan right now is to keep working out and get as much off by the end of year as I can. Then in January I will start having consultation's with Plastic Surgeon's. I hope to take care of my upper body first, maybe in the spring. I need skin removed from my upper arms, breast lift with small implants and maybe skin tightened under my chin. Then maybe late summer I will do a lower body lift with thigh work. My sister drives a school bus and said if I wait until summer she'll stay with me to help me.
October 25, 2005 WOW!! I have plastic surgeon consultations lined up for next month. I now weigh 179 pounds. My upper body is very thin, my ribs show where my boobies should be! I want to have upper body work done in Feb or March of 2006. Turns out I need to start the process in Nov to be ready by then. I had no idea. I will still wait until summer for my lower body work. I think if I can lose another 10 pounds it would be good. Bu truly I think the rest is skin. It's pretty gross. I am wearing a size 12. That is so amazing to me. I was in 24 and 26's when I had my surgery. What is funny is that my brain has not caught up with my body yet! I can see I am thin, and yet it doesn't seem real when I think about myself. I know it's a mind thing. Another thing that is funny, I am COLD! I always thought the little skinny girls here at work were silly saying they were cold all the time. Now I am cold all the time. But it's kind of nice to be able to wear sweaters and suits!
November 2, 2005 Well, just wanted to come here and ramble. I have so many things running thru my mind. What if I fail at this? I mean, it can happen. I want to be a success so badly. Yet food calls my name all the time. I worry that I will give in and be a failure. I have never lost this much weight, and I keep expecting to see the scale start climbing upwards again. My loss has slowed down so much, it's upsetting. 179 pounds is not where I want to be. I need to lose at least 20-25 more. I know some of this is skin, but there is still FAT arouund my middle. I am up to 1200-1300 calories per day. That seems like a lot of food to me. But when I am eating it doesn't seem like very much. I am trying to make good choices, protien first! I always get over 100 protein in every day. I do not eat anything with sugar, I haven't even tried. On a good note I am working out every day. I have not missed a day in 5 weeks. I do 5-6 times a week. I walk 20 minutes on the treadmill, jog 5 minutes, bike 15 minutes, then I do upper body/ arms with light weights and finish with lower body work, like crunches and leg lifts. Maybe that is why the scale isn't moving? Could I be gaining some muscle? Well, I shall keep going forward. Maybe just acknowledging my feelings will help me!
November 4, 2005 - I went to my first plastic surgery consult yesterday. It is my hope to start some work in the spring of 2006. I met a lady that works for a ps who told me I needed to start talking to doctors NOW to have surgery in the spring! WOW. But she was correct. I have three appts this month with surgeons who are booking Feb right now! So, by the time I see 3 or 4 different surgeons and think it over and even just pick a surgeon it will probably be January. It was kind of strange, kind of exciting, to see the ps! First I met with his patient consultant. I had filled out lots of paperwork and we went over all that. We talked about what I wanted, my wish list if you will! Then she went over the different things I mentioned, talked about how they are done, etc. Explained possible complications and risks. Then we went to a room where she took pictures of me...NAKED!! Whoa, that was strange. Then I saw the doctor. He was very nice, fatherly. He says I have very little fat anywhere on my body except my lower tummy. Maybe a wee bit in my upper arms, but not much. He said if he did a TT right then he would remove 20 pounds of fat and skin. He said mostly skin. Another wow for me. I feel FAT still. I weigh 179 pounds, that is not a light weight! But if he is correct with 20 pounds removed I would be 160ish. After we talked and he answered any questions I had thought of while we were together, I waited while the patient consultant figured up the cost. He says he recommends two seperate procedures. First go round would be TT, breast lift w/implants and some lite lipo on my upper arms. Second go round would be upper arms, thighs and finish the TT around, so really a lower body lift. He would also fix my wattle under my chin! It really bothers me, I feel self-concious about it. All this for a mere $33,000.00!! I reckon that isn't that much to some folks. But it is to me! This includes his fee, OR, anesth, lab work and compression garments he wants me to wear afterward. Each surgery would be a day thing. I would expect to stay all day though. My next appt is on Nov 16th. We'll see what that surgeon says. December 3, 2005 Well, had a second appt with a plastic surgeon. She pretty much said the same thing as the first one. Her price would be a little cheaper, around $30,000. I have another appt next week with a surgeon that I really lean towards, Dr Clement. He has quite a bit of experience with WLS patients. Says he likes the challenge. I have also seen a couple of WLS patients he has done. They looked good. Then I have one last appt in Jan with Dr Lomonaco in Houston. I know he is good. But I am unsure how I feel about the drive to and from Houston as a post op with drains and such. My RNY was in Houston and that was fine. We'll just see how I feel when I am thru seeing everyone. Right now my plan looks like March to have my first plastic surgery, then maybe May or June for the second surgery. I am doing good health wise. I am so glad I had this surgery! I feel so good, I have so much energy. I weigh 175-176. I tried on a size 10 jeans today. Yes, I wrote 10!! They fit except the skin hanging over the top and bulging at the bottom of my tummy. I may end up a size 8 after the skin is all gone. That just does not seem possible. I was in a 26 jeans and they were tight. I still work out 5 days a week before work. It is so worth it. It was HARD at the beginning, I didn't want to get out of bed at 4:15 am. But now I look forward to it, it really makes me feel good when I'm done. You know I have been really lucky that I have not had a lot of head hunger issues until now. But lately I seem to have to fight them. Well, maybe that is not the correct wording. It's not that I am tempted to eat stuff I shouldn't, cuz I dumped once on sugar free candy and I NEVER, EVER want to dump again! That was misery! It's really more like I am mourning food I know I will never eat again. It's food that got me to 300 pounds in the first place! I saw a FedEx guy drinking a chocolate shake from Whataburger the other day. Gosh, all I could think was how I'll never get to have a shake again. I mean, I could make one with sugar free ice cream, etc. But I hate to waste pouch space on stuff that does not have any nutritional value. Boy, my thinking has changed! In case there is ever any pre-op's reading here, let me describe my dumping episode. I felt like I was going to have diarrhea (spelling!), by the time I got to the potty my heart was racing, I was sweating so badly that sweat was dripping from my face and running down my chest! I stripped all my clothes off while stuck sitting on the potty! I truly felt like I was going to pass out. I kept thinking how awful, I am going to pass out right here and die for my poor mom to find me! When I was able to get off the potty I went to bed with the fan on high and slept about 30 minutes. Never again if I can help it! I'll update more later!Dec 9th, 2005 I updated a little last night, but it's not here! Strange. Anyway, I saw Dr Clement about plastic surgery. I am scheduled to have a lower body lift on Feb 23rd, 2006! I can not believe this! I am excited and scared at the same time.
January 2, 2006 - Here we are starting a whole new year. I wonder what it holds.....I know I will be having my plastic's this year, I am ready to get that going. I need to see this thru, to finish it all. I want to have someone special in my life. I have been alone for so many years. My husband passed away seven months ago, but really he was gone in many ways for years. I had been his mother, caretaker, rather than wife for many years. But I don't have a clue about how to meet a fella! Twice now the girls at work have said a fella flirted with me, but I was so clueless I didn't even know it! I think partly from being married so long, you know I didn't pay attention to men, I was married! And partly it is because as a fat girl men never noticed me, or flirted with me. I also have self confidence problems about my looks. I feel like I am funny looking. I know my brain still needs to adjust to how I look. I sit and stare at pictures of myself sometimes trying to see if that is really me! It's funny, because I am a very independent woman. Very self confident in a lot of areas of my life. I think this change in my body and my looks was so fast that I just need time to catch up! One thing I did notice recently.....I can go into a store and actually pick up somethung in my size (some 12, some 10's).
July 25, 2007 Well, I had a whole lot more here. Somehow I lost the rest when I tried to switch to the new format. As a matter of fact I can not get used to