sweetprincess80
I have alwauys struggled with my weight. My entire family loved me but I always felt this disappointment because I was not ideally the size they wanted and had hoped I would be. I grew up with this distorted idea that size mattered and in order to get love you had to be skinny and beautiful.
In highschool, I decided to starve myself and whatever I did eat I would purge. I was at an age where I wanted boys to like me and even though I wasn't obese, the boys always seemed to pick my skinny friends for dating and relationships.
I soon figured out that I was looking more like a woman then a girl so I started dating older men. I was 18 and my first relationship was with a 28 year old man. Of course the relationship was based 100% on sex but I felt that I was being loved and that is what I thought I needed.
Man after man, relationship after relationship I gained a lot of weight. I had just started my career in purchasing and that is where I met my husband. He is 18 years older then me and at the time I really wanted to start a family. I weighed out my options like is he a good provider, is he a good father, is he a hard worker, is he trustworthy etc, etc,etc... I knew right from the beginning that I was not attracted to him however I felt that I was getting older (23!!!) and at the heaviest I had ever been (270lbs) that my options were limited and I really wanted to start a family.
Our marriage was and is rough. Right after we got married, I lost my job. I went almost two years trying to find work and no doors opened for me. I was depressed, unhappy and very very discouraged. I had wanted to start a family and no matter how hard we tried, I could not concieve. At this point I had ballooned up to 350lbs. I started feeling trapped, hurt, depressed, angry and sad.
In 2007, I became sick. I couldn't eat anything and anything I did manage to keep down would send me running straight for the restroom. I went to see my family doctor who inturn reffered me to a specialist. They did some tests and found out that I had Ulcerative Colitis. My specialist started treating me for this and in the meantime suggested that he refer me to Dr. Hagen for gastric bypass surgery. I was interested in the surgery and had already seen another doctor however I was not confortable with the other surgeon so I jumped at this opportunity.
I started seeing Dr. Hagen in 2007 and after assesing me and sending me to some more specialists I was finally put on the list in March 2008. I was sitting at my desk at work when my phone rang; it was the receptionist at Dr. Hagen's office asking me if I could be ready in a month for surgery. I was shocked and over joyed at the same time. When I was put on the list they told me that it was going to be 6-12 months but this was only a little over a month.
My surgery was May 16, 2008 and everything was as perfect as I could have expected it to be. I was planning for the worst and the total opposite has happened. My surgeon made me feel good and confortable throughout my stay at the hospital and the nurses were awesome as well. I am now two week post-op and starting my life.
Wish me luck!!!
