Sweetsa

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I really dont' have anything major to report. I am very discouraged at this point now because my weightloss has pretty much come to a halt. I think I may be doing something wrong. I started a new job and sit around a lot snacking and drinking coffee everyday. Very discouraging. Now I am finding myelf with excuses, not good! I am currently at 209. So my weight loss to date is from 281 down to 209. So 72lbs so far. I am gonna start exercising because I haven't been. Maybe it will get better.

Wow, I can't believe that I am five months out. Amazing how time goes so fast. Weightloss has definitely slowed down for me. Weighed myself the other day and I was at 219, hey it's better than 286 where I started from initially. I am seeing a difference now, finally! I do get a lot of compliments from others but don't really know how to handle them. I guess I should just say thank you. Well my first blog (before the surgery) I wrote about being able to go to one of my favorite stores Lerners of New York. I went there the other day with my 16 year old god daughter and she started trying clothes on and she said to me Auntie you should try something on. I did and it fit!!!!!!! I was amazed!!!!! It was such a good feeling that I can't even describe. You guys probably know what I mean because you know the struggle of looking at yourself in the mirror and hating what you see. Now, I look in the mirror and love what I see. I still have about 40 more pounds to go. My goal is to be down to a comfortable size 10, about 170lbs. really don't want to get smaller because then I will start looking like a crack head, lol! Soon I will start going on the dating scene in about another couple months. For now, it's all about me and my children. Feels good to put me first for a change!!!!!!! Hope to see the scale move more at 6 months for now......................PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy that we have finally made history by having the first black president in office. Mr. Barack Obama is truly a blessing to each one of us (and when I say us, I mean all races) I truly believe that he will change a lot of perspectives of individuals regardless of their race, as well as heal our economy!!!!!!!! We have come so far!!!!!!!!!! I just wanted to say that.

Next I want to also say that "patience is a virtue" and I truly mean that. Not too long ago I was discouraged because I wasn't losing weight. This whole week I changed some things up and did not consume so much sugar and junk. I woke up this morning and the scale said 223lbs!!!!!!!! Wow, I can't believe it!!! I am so happy. Although I can't tell that much physically. I do feel better mentally and physically. Coming from 281, this is a great accomplishment. Therefore I have to remember to have patience. 58lbs to date!

It's been so long since I have written in my journal. I do come on here daily to get inspiration. I guess right now I am trippin because I am at 235 and can't really see a difference. I have been snacking way too much but now I realize that this may be the reason the weightloss is slowing down. I have only lost a pound in about three weeks!!!!! That's horrible. I am trying!!!!!!!!!! I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself and be more thankful for fitting into them size 16's instead of 20/22. Another great thing that I do feel is confidence. I have been so in love with this man for over ten years and I am finally feeling the confidence to go pursue him further. I know I shouldn't have let something like my weight stop me. But, hey when you are overweight your confidence level is extremely low. You just don't feel good about yourself. I am really working on getting pictures uploaded! I just have to find time to get this camera going!!!!!! Maybe if I see the photos I can see the difference myself. Two weeks it will be four months out for me and boy does time surely fly. I did go out and buy a scale the other day, I weighed myself didn't see a difference and now I am gonna put the scale up until next weekend. I will weigh myself once a week.

I am going to be six weeks post op Monday, but wanted to just write down how I was doing and feeling. I have been doing much better as far as feeling good. I found that I can tolerate a lot more than I thought as far as drinks with sugar in them (under 24 grams, as my doctor says) which is kind of nice because I do get tired of the same things. I just make sure to add a little water to the drinks. I get enought exercise at work. I make sure to walk on my breaks. I feel so energized that it's nice, although yesterday I think I overdid it. I got up at 7 am cleaned the house, went school shopping for the kids, and then went to an amusement park. Unfortunately I got sick at the amusement park where I got real weak and nauseas. I really dont think I am eating enough or drinking enough. Definitely have to work on that. I find more comfort in eating than drinking. AS far as how much I have lost I will say about 32 lbs so far. I do see the difference in my clothes and my waistline is starting to form. Althought, I was a little dissapointed that I didn't lose more, but I guess that's normal to reach a plateau. I am blessed and very grateful! I notice that my self esteem is improving a lot. I am gonna go and run around some more but I will make sure to take a water bottle and eat! God bless!

Sinice the surgery I have a hard time physically and emotionally. I am having a hard time getting the liquids in. First of all let me say that my doctor has me on a liquid diet for two weeks, TWO WEEKS! WOW! It is causing me a lot of problems because I am just getting over the pain and I am nausea and my stomach is so tender and I am having dia------? It's awful. My kids are gone for the whole week so this gives me time to get some strength and get myself together. Yesterday I called the doctor to ask her why I was feeling so bad and she told me that I am dehydrated and need to drink, drink, drink!!!!!!!!!!! That's hard but I know I must do it. So I have been watching a lot of tv, cleaning the house when I can and doing my new found hobby scrapbooking and talking a lot on the phone catching up with old friends. I go back to work next Monday and I meet with the doctor for my 2 week post op. I am gonna go and drink some more!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Today is Saturday, July 5, 2008 and I have a little less than a week til my surgery. Today I decided that I would take the kids to the mall and do some shopping. Plus, I want to enjoy food just a little bit longer while I can. I knew I could eat some chineeeeese at the mall. We did quite a bit of walking at the mall. I saw some really nice clothes that I would have loved to have been able to purchase but of course not, I would look horrible in them. I remember that my favorite store used to be Learners of New York. I thought today, wow, I can't wait til I can walk this mall without my back hurting, being short tempered with the kids and able to wear sleeveless dresses and shirts and feel good. My son and I shared the chinese meal. That was pretty much the end of this day. I am a little pressed for time because I go to school online as well. I am two weeks away and I will be done with school. Praise the lord, God is so good!