Cindy B

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Wednesday I start my 2 week liquid diet. I am confident that I can do this. I'm scared and happy all at once. So I've spent the last few days making plans for my volunteer job to be covered. Meals that i can throw into a slow cooker for my family. cleaning house, donating to good will.  I'm having a problem keeping stuff...I've NEVER used. I had to laugh at myself at all the kitchen gadgets that I've been gifted and have never used. How many sets of sheets does one bed need...Donated 14 sets of sheets. I am not a hoarder. Nor am I a pack rat. I keep my home clean. Yet were is all this stuff coming from?

I know. It's spring cleaning. letting go of all the stuff that has been part of my life since i was a kid. Physical stuff has emotional value, and I'm letting go of those Ties. New life new me. I am learning to let go.

another day another bump, and I worry that it don't bother me. My hubbies family has been "offended" and has not been talking to us. I thought i would be upset about this but I'm not. Our life style, my choice for surgery their petty disbelieving in their own self's....don't bother me. I know I'm on the right path and working hard at bettering myself. Caring for my family and becoming a more healthy person.  Life is going great and I think that's why it don't bother me

March 19th.....So now I get all the emotions...scared...happy..Tick tick tock...I'm excited to be moving on.

It's a understatment. I feel like I'm not incontrol of my own life anymore. It all revolves around having surgery. Being told one thing and another happening pussing everything back. I've made somany changes already and more will come. I'm flustrated that the program says this is step 1,2,3,4, and yet I'm being pushed back to step 2 when I've done 1-4....Part of my flustration is part due to pain levels. Cold weather has hit me very hard. I can get a knee replacment untill i loose weight I cant loose weight on my own. I want to sit and cry, feeling like i should give up all together....somehow i must find a way to work threw this.

Today is one of those days....closser to a surgery date closer to a new life and new eating and ..and ...and... I am scared. will surgery go well. Will life really be better..Will I be able to stay with the program for the rest of my life..so many questions and yet I dont' have the answers. However I do have motivation and HOPE~!

It's been a long time to get to the point where I've asked for help and started making changes.

I am currently 282 lbs. and would Love to see myself back at 139 lbs. My medical health is slowly turning for the bad. I do not want to be that "fat lady" in a hover round eating oreo's by the age of 50. I have completed my appointments with Uw bariatric clinic. now on the the next step,  classes. Then I'm hopeful for a surgery date in February. I am scared, nervous, excited...and so much more.