TONYA B.
Minutes from Dying
Dec 05, 2006
Alot of you know me, and some of you don't.. So some of you know that I have not been feeling at all well over the last year... I would have my ups and downs...It all finally came to a head on September 26th, the day I just about lost my life...
It started like any other day... Pain as normal, but in my back, and somewhat in my stomach... I had gotten my hubby up to go to work...and within minutes was reaching for my trashcan... I had to throw up... and this was just a sudden onset.. I was not sick at my tummy or feeling at all like anything was out of the ordinary... I could not get out of bed for the whole day... My oldest daughter, had to get the younger ones up and they had to get ready while I sit/layed in bed heaving... I would go and get me something to drink, because I figured that I was getting "THAT REALLY BAD VIRUS" that everyone was telling me about... and since the GASTRIC BYPASS in OCT of 2001, my immune system is not all it could be...MY fault and the doctors, the refused me VIT B12 shots for 3 yrs, or maybe a little less, and my levels really screwed up my system and even helped aid in my now having neuropathy... I am 31 years old and was told basically that I have the legs of a 60 some year old woman... GEE isn't that just great... anyway back to what happened. This had started at around 5 am I think, maybe alittle earlier or just a few minutes later... And by 3 oclock when my daughter came in from school.. I was really sick...She took one look at me and said God mom you look awful... Look awful I thought... God I feel like I am dying.... How true my thoughts were.... My mom was called in and she asked what I wanted to do... I said well I think its just a virus, but I think I will go ahead and get checked out... But she had to run her car to my brothers which was like 10 minutes away and wanted to know if she should wait... I said no go ahead I will be okay til then.... When she got home, she took me to her car, and took me to her house, and helped me into one of her gowns...Mine was not in any shape to wear as I had been so sick throughout the day it got part of it, but I had no idea until it was pointed out to me... After calling an ambulance, and it getting there, the EMS people said oh its just a virus we have had alot of them today so they decided to take me to our small town hospital... BIG MISTAKE... I layed there for over 10 hours I believe if memory serves me right... some things are blurry...But i was in so much pain... And the loratabs they were giving me were not helping at all... It was just getting worse. After bloodwork, xrays and a catscan??? I was told I had a blocked bowel and would be transported to another hospital... OMG.. I was so upset... because I knew the ambulance ride was going to be rough...
I was also told I would have to go through there ER...BULLSHIT... that was REDICULOUS... but i never said a word....after layin there for hours... Surgery team came in and said that of course I was being admitted and would be taken in in the morning.... for "EXPLORATORY" surgery... so apparently they weren't for sure about the other ERS diagnoses... I was moved to a room hours later... and it just kept getting worse... Early in the morning...I believe around 3 or 4, I started to go down fast... I was told that they had to take me in NOW/ASAP... I knew something was bad wrong when they started hurrying me off... and I was TERRIFIED... It only took them a very short time to get the surgery team called in.... I was prepped and knocked out quickly....
When I came to... Part of my family was standing around me... I don't even recall who.. and I had tubes down my throat and could not talk and was told not to try and not to move no more than I had to... NO PROBLEM WITH THAT ONE... but the talking that was driving me nuts... They proceeded to tell me, that I had, had a hernia that wrapped around my bowels... and then ruptured... and my stomach and busted open, and I had pancreaitis... along with some lesions that had to be removed...Basically they had to cut me from breast bone, to pelvic bone, and pulled everything out, and then put it back in... I was on alot of pain meds and would be in pain for along time out...My recovery would take weeks in the HOSPITAL my family was told... I had also went into septic shock, and I was told then that they said a few more minutes and I would not have lived... I started crying and was then told to calm down... that I was a hell of a fighter by my nurse... who stayed right with me.. I had NO IDEA I was in ICU... and at that time I had no idea I was on the ventilator... I also did not know I was not expected to make it through the night.... Imagine my surprise when days later, after I made them give me pen and paper... my hand motions... I found all this out... I was so scared...and terrified... I weighed in at 112 lbs and had a new stomach made from the excess that BTC or BARIX clinics does not cut away, thank god... I knew I made the right decision when I carefully chose them because of the reversal option should something go wrong... and a whole hell of a lot of pain.... To everyones surprise, I was a hell of a fighter... and was out of that hospital in a week... my nurse from the first ICU unit I was in said he had never seen anyone fight like me... He said I really surprised them all...
When I came home and had to go back and have 36 staples removed, they put on steri strips... in the shower one of them fell off and loads of yellow fluids started pouring... I called and in to the ER I was... They had to literally take a pair of their surgical scissors and without numbing me, or anything, they cut me back open in the 4 inch place that looked "infected" and pulled out all the gunk which was fatty tissue and a bunch of other medical terms from the surgery...lol.. with their fingers... I was in PAIN.... oh you will only hurt for a day or so... Yeah okay... that has been 3 weeks.. and with me having to wet pack it... this means putting in wet guaze in your opened wound..... and keeping changing every 4 hours... OMG... I was so scared....at first that I was just going to have this enormous whole in me... Because it was 3 inches deep... it has healed but yesterday 11/9 I busted it back open.... and again today I am in pain....... I am healing, slowly and I do feel better... Still around 120 I did gain a little weight... they said my tummy could have been leaking for awhile causing me to stay sick and not be able to control my wt... I only know that I am still kind of scared and sometimes worry about the what could have beens and the what will be's.... But I hope anyone reading this, like me realizes like I have that you never know when your time may come or if this is your last kiss with your hubby or the last I love you... or if your kids will last remembering seeing you in a bad light... I only know that I try to live like each day could be my last and show my whole family... how much they are loved... Thank god my mom made me stay with her for a complete month until I insisted Icome home and now I am sick with a virus and again layed up... But she lives next door and my kids and hubby help... I am able to do very little still yet...once again.. I tried to do to much to fast... I wanted to get back in the game of life.....After all I came so close to losing it......
All my love to you all'
Tonya
if you think you maybe have a virus and pain is with it... GO... I just about did not. and I would not be here now if I hadnt'
It started like any other day... Pain as normal, but in my back, and somewhat in my stomach... I had gotten my hubby up to go to work...and within minutes was reaching for my trashcan... I had to throw up... and this was just a sudden onset.. I was not sick at my tummy or feeling at all like anything was out of the ordinary... I could not get out of bed for the whole day... My oldest daughter, had to get the younger ones up and they had to get ready while I sit/layed in bed heaving... I would go and get me something to drink, because I figured that I was getting "THAT REALLY BAD VIRUS" that everyone was telling me about... and since the GASTRIC BYPASS in OCT of 2001, my immune system is not all it could be...MY fault and the doctors, the refused me VIT B12 shots for 3 yrs, or maybe a little less, and my levels really screwed up my system and even helped aid in my now having neuropathy... I am 31 years old and was told basically that I have the legs of a 60 some year old woman... GEE isn't that just great... anyway back to what happened. This had started at around 5 am I think, maybe alittle earlier or just a few minutes later... And by 3 oclock when my daughter came in from school.. I was really sick...She took one look at me and said God mom you look awful... Look awful I thought... God I feel like I am dying.... How true my thoughts were.... My mom was called in and she asked what I wanted to do... I said well I think its just a virus, but I think I will go ahead and get checked out... But she had to run her car to my brothers which was like 10 minutes away and wanted to know if she should wait... I said no go ahead I will be okay til then.... When she got home, she took me to her car, and took me to her house, and helped me into one of her gowns...Mine was not in any shape to wear as I had been so sick throughout the day it got part of it, but I had no idea until it was pointed out to me... After calling an ambulance, and it getting there, the EMS people said oh its just a virus we have had alot of them today so they decided to take me to our small town hospital... BIG MISTAKE... I layed there for over 10 hours I believe if memory serves me right... some things are blurry...But i was in so much pain... And the loratabs they were giving me were not helping at all... It was just getting worse. After bloodwork, xrays and a catscan??? I was told I had a blocked bowel and would be transported to another hospital... OMG.. I was so upset... because I knew the ambulance ride was going to be rough...
I was also told I would have to go through there ER...BULLSHIT... that was REDICULOUS... but i never said a word....after layin there for hours... Surgery team came in and said that of course I was being admitted and would be taken in in the morning.... for "EXPLORATORY" surgery... so apparently they weren't for sure about the other ERS diagnoses... I was moved to a room hours later... and it just kept getting worse... Early in the morning...I believe around 3 or 4, I started to go down fast... I was told that they had to take me in NOW/ASAP... I knew something was bad wrong when they started hurrying me off... and I was TERRIFIED... It only took them a very short time to get the surgery team called in.... I was prepped and knocked out quickly....
When I came to... Part of my family was standing around me... I don't even recall who.. and I had tubes down my throat and could not talk and was told not to try and not to move no more than I had to... NO PROBLEM WITH THAT ONE... but the talking that was driving me nuts... They proceeded to tell me, that I had, had a hernia that wrapped around my bowels... and then ruptured... and my stomach and busted open, and I had pancreaitis... along with some lesions that had to be removed...Basically they had to cut me from breast bone, to pelvic bone, and pulled everything out, and then put it back in... I was on alot of pain meds and would be in pain for along time out...My recovery would take weeks in the HOSPITAL my family was told... I had also went into septic shock, and I was told then that they said a few more minutes and I would not have lived... I started crying and was then told to calm down... that I was a hell of a fighter by my nurse... who stayed right with me.. I had NO IDEA I was in ICU... and at that time I had no idea I was on the ventilator... I also did not know I was not expected to make it through the night.... Imagine my surprise when days later, after I made them give me pen and paper... my hand motions... I found all this out... I was so scared...and terrified... I weighed in at 112 lbs and had a new stomach made from the excess that BTC or BARIX clinics does not cut away, thank god... I knew I made the right decision when I carefully chose them because of the reversal option should something go wrong... and a whole hell of a lot of pain.... To everyones surprise, I was a hell of a fighter... and was out of that hospital in a week... my nurse from the first ICU unit I was in said he had never seen anyone fight like me... He said I really surprised them all...
When I came home and had to go back and have 36 staples removed, they put on steri strips... in the shower one of them fell off and loads of yellow fluids started pouring... I called and in to the ER I was... They had to literally take a pair of their surgical scissors and without numbing me, or anything, they cut me back open in the 4 inch place that looked "infected" and pulled out all the gunk which was fatty tissue and a bunch of other medical terms from the surgery...lol.. with their fingers... I was in PAIN.... oh you will only hurt for a day or so... Yeah okay... that has been 3 weeks.. and with me having to wet pack it... this means putting in wet guaze in your opened wound..... and keeping changing every 4 hours... OMG... I was so scared....at first that I was just going to have this enormous whole in me... Because it was 3 inches deep... it has healed but yesterday 11/9 I busted it back open.... and again today I am in pain....... I am healing, slowly and I do feel better... Still around 120 I did gain a little weight... they said my tummy could have been leaking for awhile causing me to stay sick and not be able to control my wt... I only know that I am still kind of scared and sometimes worry about the what could have beens and the what will be's.... But I hope anyone reading this, like me realizes like I have that you never know when your time may come or if this is your last kiss with your hubby or the last I love you... or if your kids will last remembering seeing you in a bad light... I only know that I try to live like each day could be my last and show my whole family... how much they are loved... Thank god my mom made me stay with her for a complete month until I insisted Icome home and now I am sick with a virus and again layed up... But she lives next door and my kids and hubby help... I am able to do very little still yet...once again.. I tried to do to much to fast... I wanted to get back in the game of life.....After all I came so close to losing it......
All my love to you all'
Tonya
if you think you maybe have a virus and pain is with it... GO... I just about did not. and I would not be here now if I hadnt'
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