Oh boy - I made it through the process and just received my approval letter today (3/6/06). I am scared and excited all in one. I have just as many nay-sayers and supporters, so it's been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions for me. A co-worker who is also wanting to go through the surgery reminded me that I'm doing this for myself, and no one else, so if I'm ok with it, then that's what matters.

3/20/06 - I just got the call from MMPC's scheduler...we set April 21st for the surgery date! I'm afraid and excited all at once. I just submitted my paperwork for FMLA at work...one step closer!

3/29/06 - I haven't been updating my webpage much because I try not to think too often about what's going on. I'm excited about the thought of being post-op and on the losing side of this weight loss battle, but I must admit I'm a bit afraid of the surgery, since I've never had major surgery before (other than the birth of my daughter). I've heard horror stories about what people have had to go through to get approved, so I think I am also a bit in disbelief that things have gone along relatively smooth. My 2 week pre-op appt is set for April 7. I've already submitted my FMLA paperwork to my employer. I was pleasantly surprised at how private this process has been at work...my supervisor didn't even ask why I needed the FMLA - he just asked if it was life threatening and if he should be worried about me...I told him no, and that was the end of it. I was deathly afraid that he would ask me why I was having surgery (I didn't tell him what the surgery was for) because I feel like this journey is very personal and confidential and I don't want a lot of people knowing that I'm having this surgery. I'm just sick and tired of the unspoken (and sometimes spoken) judgment that I see in people's faces when they see me - and after having two very close people disappoint me with their reaction to me having surgery, I'm very guarded about who I tell. This is MY journey, and I will not allow anyone else to make me feel bad for making this decision. OK-this is turning into a novel. I'll update again in the future...I was so happy to log in and see my picture finally posted on my page!

3/30/06 - I got a call from Spectrum Health's Pre-arrival Services to register for the surgery! Now that I'm registered, the nurses from the hospital will be calling me a couple days prior to surgery to tell me the time and give me more info. This is getting closer and closer to reality! Is this really happening??? OMG!!!!

3/30/06 - I just found a name for what I'm doing...LAST SUPPER SYNDROME! I saw it on one of the chat pages on OH. It's crazy that I feel like I need to eat EVERYTHING that I like just one more time before my surgery. Thankfully, my youth group at church is fasting next week, so I'm hopeful this will 1) stop me from eating like a crazy person and 2) get me preped for the 2 week pre-op cleansing period.

4/3/06 - Well, I guess I'm getting a jump-start to the liquid phase of this program, since my youth group at church is fasting this week (I'm doing a 12 hour liquid fast from 6am to 6pm), so that should help get this party started! I spoke with the nurse at MMPC to make sure the fast won't interfere with anything I'm doing for the surgery, and she said it would actually help, not hurt. I also spoke with MMPC because I realized that the $642 that I'm supposed to have for my 2 week visit (4/7/06) can be split up so I don't pay it all at once. I can pay for the 4/7 visit and the supplements at the 4/7 appt, then I have to have the remainder by my 1 week appt (4/13), which works out perfectly for my pay dates! Yahoo! I was SO worried I would have to push my date out because of that.

4/7/06 - Group meeting weigh in: 314

4/9/06 - I had my group meeting (several WLS patients meet together with the PA, a nurse, and another person who talked about exercise, then we got our supplements that we have to eat for the next two weeks). It was a good meeting, and I have been doing surprisingly well. I actually like some of the product (spaghetti bolognese), and am going to have to find a way to get some of the other product down (like the puddings...the texture is too weird!). I went to TGIFridays with my fam. to celebrate my mother's birthday...I ate my product while they ate ribs, fried fish, burgers, etc...but for some reason I was fine with it. Two more weeks to go!

4/11/06 - OK, day 4 on the supplements...this is going to be tough. There are some supplements that I actually enjoy, and some that I absolutely dispise!!! YUCK! I have GOT to find a way to get through this, because I think I might start either under-nourishing myself because I don't get all the supplements in since I only like a few of them, which means I would be at around 500 calories per day...or I'm going to start slipping in real food, like I did yesterday.

My mom's actual birthday was yesterday, and I had promised her that I would make her favorite meal (crab boil and homemade cheesecake). I put everything together and made a nice little spread on her dining table...then pulled out my supplement packet and started whining like a baby, because I was already dreading having to eat that supplement while the rest of the family ate the dinner I prepared. OK, I'll admit it...I had a tiny serving of each of the items that were in the boil, and a tiny sliver of cheesecake! Phew, I admitted it. But now that I did it, I think I have gotten my head back on my shoulders and back on the wagon.

There was a time, on day 2 of the supplements where I thought "Hmmm...if I can do this low cal diet for the surgery to lose weight, then I certainly can do this without having the surgery...maybe I should hold off"...but then when I had my day 3 breakdown, I realized that as usual, I don't hold out very long on any diet plan, and that surgery really is my best bet. The more diets I try, and the older I get it seems like I'm able to make it through fewer and fewer days on the plan...so, I'm glad that I'm moving forward with this...I just can't wait until I get out of this supplement phase! Lord, please be with me!

4/12 - Phew - I think I really had withdrawal symptoms from food the first few days of this supplement stage. I felt like an addict. I spent almost all of yesterday thinking about all the foods that I would just like to smell and lick - I don't have to eat it, I just wanted to lick it and get the flavor in my mouth. What kind of craziness is that??? ANyhow, now I feel so much better. Maybe it's because I got some crystal light, sugar free jello, and sugar free popcicles to add some flavor to the day. OK...on to the next day!

4/13 - One week pre-op weight 306

4/13 - I had my 1 week pre-op appt - I lost 7.6 pounds in a week! Wow! The nurse said all my vitals looked perfect! I'm starting to feel really good about this! I am a little concerned though, because I feel like I'm starting to catch a cold...so I'm going to call the office first thing in the morning to find out what to do. I don't want anything interupting this process. I told my daughter (6 years old) that I was 'going to the hospital' next week - I just told her it was so the doctor could make me better. She started to cry because she was worried about what was going to happen to me there, so I made sure that I stayed totally positive and reassured her that things will be so much better after I come back from the hospital. One more week! Is this real???

4/18 am- I got a call from MMPC asking me to go to the nearest lab and give another urine sample today??? They said all of my 'levels' were elevated when they tested my urine??? The MMPC person said it won't stop the surgery, but they just want to make sure everything is ok. This is very interesting. Four days to surgery - and I wasn't nervous about it this week - until I got this call.

4/18 pm - Funny story - here's a tip to those of you who have not had your urinalysis done, and have never had one done...when they hand you the wet wipe and the cup to pee in, the wet wipe is to wipe your 'special area' BEFORE you pee. Silly me...the 1st time I had to give a sample, the nurse didn't tell me why she gave me the wet wipe, I just assumed it was for me to wipe my hands with after giving my 'sample'. Turns out, if you don't wipe yourself down, you may get bacteria in the sample and will cause false readings. Thank goodness the 2nd time around, the nurse at the lab told me what the wet wipe was for! It gave me quite the chuckle once I realized what I was supposed to do. Three days to go!

4/19 - I got the call from Blodgett - I have to arrive there at 7:30, surgery is at 10am!

4/20 - it's 9:54pm - tomorrow's the day! WOW!

4/23 - I'm home! I am definitely a fan of laproscopic surgery! I would have come home yesterday, however, I couldn't get enough liquids in, so the nurse recommended that I stay another night. It really is kind of hard learning about the pouch...especially while it's still swollen. Dr. Kemmeter was great (he even prayed with me before we went to surgery!!! As soon as he asked if I wanted to pray with him, I KNEW everything would be fine). My check-in weight on 4/21 was 294!!! I had lost 20 pounds before I even got to surgery. I can't wait to weigh myself later. Let the journey begin!

4/28 - I've been doing well so far (other than trying to get these darned supplements in!). I am now very rarely taking my pain meds because it's not necessary - except if I go for a drive - man do those bumps hurt my belly! Feels like someone punched me in the stomach - darned bumpy Michigan roads!

I haven't been posting much, because I have been kind of tired and still have had a lot on my plate to take care of even though I haven't been at work. Why, oh why, did I sign up to start teaching an online class during my medical leave??? When my mom gets off of work, she takes me out with her so I can get out of the house...a couple times I did TOO much and ended up sleeping through the following days.

I can't wait to start losing more weight...according to the nurse at the hospital they pump you with lots of fluids while you're in the hospital, so the scale will show a weight gain, instead of loss :-( Oh well...one day at a time!

My hometown buddy Viv W. is having her surgery today - I'm so excited for her!

5/9/06 - I just came from my two week post-op check-up, and I am now at 284.4...so that's a total of about 30 pounds, in about 30 days that I've lost. It definitely shows in my clothing. It's nice that my formerly very tight clothes are now either fitting the way they should have, or in some cases are actually too big. THANK YOU GOD! I'm also very happy that I now get to eat something with substance. I had cream of wheat for lunch, and was in HEAVEN! I bought the protein powder from Harvest Health...boy does it look disgusting...maybe i'll try adding that to my food this afternoon. When I got to the counter, I was grilling the cashier about how it would/would not taste, she said it wouldn't be too noticable...and then a girl came up behind me telling me that it tastes fine...she was a very small girl - not sure why she was buying three huge bags of protein powder too?? Anyhow, that's my brief update...forward we march!

5/23 - Well, I haven't been posting much, because I haven't had any major victories :( My clothes are obviously getting bigger, but the scale is not moving much at all. A friend who had the surgery told me to leave the scale alone, because there will be times of no weight loss...but I can't seem to stop weighing myself. Everyone keeps saying they still can tell that I'm losing weight, but the scale isn't saying that. One good thing though, folks in the 4/06 Forum seem to be going through the same thing. So, it's not just me. Anyhow, just in case it's something I'm not doing, I went out and bought a pair of gymshoes that I will keep in the trunk of my car, so I can walk during lunch or as soon as I pull in the driveway at home. My other issue is trying to eat slowly...I've had to upchuck a few times because I ate something too fast and didn't chew it enough. I SHOULD be like 50 pounds lighter from all the few I've had to throw up. Oh well...hopefully it will get better!

6/6/06- I had my 6 week checkup yesterday - I am now at 274 pounds. For a total of 40 pounds lost so far. I'm excited that I get to eat a bigger variety of food. I just have to learn to slow down and savor the flavor of each bite! I have been throwing up more often over the past month than I have in my whole life! But MAN does throwing up make me feel so much better when I've not chewed something well. Anyhow...today I had Wendy's Chili!!! How exciting! It's funny to see how excited I get over little things, but I was getting really tired of the same menu items. Anyhow, my next appointment isn't until July, so I hope I can keep my crazy self off the scale until then. I have been weighing twice a day like a fool. Anyhow, gotta go...will report again at the next weigh-in.

8/16/06 - 249 at the 3 month check up! According to the PA, I have lost 40% of the total amount that I need to lose. Yahoo, me! Holy crap! I just looked at what I weighed in at during my last post...that seems like so long ago! Only problem now is that I'm a lot more tolerant of most foods than I'd like to be. I really have to pull the reigns in now and stay focused. Everything is going well though...new job, new vehicle, new man, new body...God is good!!! I started out wearing a size 30, and right now 22 is what I'm wearing. What a wonderful journey!

10/22/06 - I usually only update this site after my doctor's appointments, however, I received an email from OH that reminded me that I'm at my 6 month post-op point.  That is insane!  My how life has changed since 6 months ago.  I am SO happy and thankful that I had the surgery.  Seems like a dark cloud lifted from my life ever since.

Now that I'm at this 6 month mark, I took a second to think about whether or not I am where I should be, and I think the answer is probably no.  I will be honest and say that I have not been exercising like I should be, and I have not been doing the best with my food choices either. 

With regard to exercising - I have been walking.  At my new job it is like a half mile walk from my car to my desk.  So, instead of riding the shuttle, I wear my gym shoes every morning and treat that walk as exercise.  I try to see how fast I can get to my desk, and I also walk up the three flights of stairs to my desk.  Also, I have scheduled small 15 minute breaks throughout the week with different co-workers to walk the halls (the building is that long), so I have been doing that part.  But I do really want to incorporate more weight training or calestenics (sp?)...I just haven't gotten around to it.  I have also taken up urban ballroom dancing.  There are weekly classes to teach you the steps for ballroom and for learning all the new hustles (what a workout!)...then there are weekly parties where you get to show your stuff.  I'm hooked!  Sneaky way to get in a few extra hours of working out too.

My schedule has been insane because I've started teaching another night class which keeps me up all night and early morning, I have had a family member die, and two almost die (including my mother) in the past month.  I also recently found out that my fibroids have gotten to a point where I need surgery (one is the size of a tennis ball).  I am a contract employee, so if I take time off for the surgery, that means no pay!  The alternative on one end is to give me progesterone for 6 months which the doc said will definitely cause me to regain weight (not acceptable), and the other option is a hysterectomy - also not accepable.  So I have been extremely stressed, to say the least.

As a result of the stress, I have found myself returning back to my old habits of turning to food for relief.  Not good.  OK - so when I do it, I don't eat nearly as much as I had in the past, but it bothers me that I am returning to old patterns.  So, I do believe that I could have lost more weight since my last weigh in - honestly speaking.  However, I had a sit-down with myself and am back on track - at least I pray that I am.  I cannot go back!  I went to buy a sweater the other day at Lane Bryant, and the sales clerk asked me what size I wear.  I told her I wasn't sure - she said, well, it looks lilke you might be a 18/20 or maybe less.  I looked at her like she told me the sky was purple.  That didn't make sense to me that someone would look at me and NOT see "size 30 or maybe more".  That was a hallelujah moment for me, for sure - and a moment that I don't want to go backwards on.

Anyhow - I have papers to grade, so I have to go, but I'm thankful to OH for sending me that note.  I definitely don't want to scoff at the weight I've lost thus far, but I know that I could be doing better.  So, this 6 month note from OH has definitely helped to also get me a new tank of gas.  Onward and upward!

 11/10/06 - I don't really have any new news to post, I just was updating the fact that I have run into my first post-surgery issue.  I am a contract employee at my new job, and they are charging me an ASTRONOMICAL price in health insurance because I'm an 'independent contractor'.  So, someone told me about individual health insurance that I could buy at a significantly cheaper rate.  So, I applied - and they turned me down because I had bariatric surgery.  It's funny because on the questionairre, they listed the acceptable weight that they would approve someone at, and they also talked about the health issues that would not be acceptable.  Thanks to the surgery, I am below the weight requirement, and do not have the health issues I had been having prior to the surgery - but they denied me because there may be long term health costs for bariatric patients???  That was a bit shocking to me...however, even if I was at the same weight that I was prior to surgery, I wouldn't have been approved anyhow, because I was over the weight limit.  So, I guess either way I would have been denied, but I thought that was odd.  So, even though I am paying an insane price for my group health insurance, I would not take this surgery back for ANYTHING!  I have my 6 month check up at the end of the month...I'll check back in then!

11/16/06:  I had my six month appointment today, and weighted in at 233.  81 pounds gone.  I don't have another appointment for 6 months.  Those of us who were in the group nutition meeting all speculated as to how we'll look at the 1 year appointment.  I can't even imagine.  I guess I'll post an update later - I don't know how I feel about the 81 pounds, because I have the next 6 months on my mind - a little afraid of how I'll react to not losing as much as I had during the first six months.  Hopefully it will inspire me to work harder...we'll see!

02/16/07:  OK, I am really off...I have not been eating the way I should be and have not been losing the way I should be.  I had been staying around 222 for about a week or so, then I went and weighed myself at work (they have one of those blood pressure machines that you see in the grocery store), and I was at 227.5!  That is not acceptable!  Granted, I had my light leather jacket on when I weighed myself, and I am also retaining water because of my cycle, but those are just excuses from the devil and I will send them back to the pit of hell from which they came!  The bottom line is that I need to get back on track.  SO, today I printed the Plateu diet that was on one of the bariatric support group sites I'm a member of, and plan to follow that for a week.  I also need to get back on track with my daily walks and drinking water.  So, with prayer and hard work, I plan on posting a note on 2/26 with an update of my weight loss, and it BETTER be significant.

 2/22/07:  Mid-week update...I just weighed myself and I'm at 219...thank God!  Four more pounds and I'll be in the 100# club! YIPEE!!

3/7/07 - Well, one day post-'girl'-time I'm at 216.6.  I had gained during 'that time', so I didn't record my weight here, but now that I'm a day past it, I'm back on the down slide.  One more half of a pound to go!!!  Yahoo!



Many thanks to Jenn F. for making this 100 pound card for me!!!

 4/23/07 - 212.1 I got an email over the weekend that I hit my one year anniversary.  It is crazy now that I think about it, but I cried when I got the email because I hadn't lost as much as I wanted to lose at the one year mark.  What was I thinking??  I have lost a little over 100 pounds, and that's not good enough??  Just goes to show that the surgery does not change the mind.  I will always find something to beat myself up about.  Well, today, I am going to celebrate.  100 pounds is a major accomplishment - and considering the insane events that have gone on in my life over the past year - I should be elated that I've been able to lose anything AND keep my sanity.  I can't wait to see what weight i'll be reporting in another year!

1/2/08 - 226.8  This is the first time I've weighed myself in a long time.  I knew my eating was not under control, but didn't realize I had gotten myself this far off track.  Thankfully, this isn't going to be the cause of me having a mental breakdown like it used to - I'm just going to get back on the horse, and get to work on these last 76 pounds I'd like to lose.  My boyfriend challenged me to a 30 day no beef or pork game sicne he is doing the same thing for football conditioning - which actually isn't a big deal for me, since I don't eat much beef or pork, but maybe this will help add to the weight loss.  My main nemisis...sweets and grazing.  Gotta get that under control...I CAN DO IT!!  Onward and upward as 'they' say...so I can rightfully carry my 100 pound club card!

12/11/09  - 260 Wow...I have really gotten out of control.  I'm going for surgery on 12/17/09 to have fibroids removed.  My plan is to use that time to 'kick-off' my new goals to get myself together.  So much for 'fit n fine by 40'...but I won't look back.  I'll just look forward.

4/25/10 - 252 I received my "Four Years since surgery" note from Obesity Help.  Time flies!  Surgery for my fibroids went well, although I must admit that recovery from surgery at the age of 40 is certainly not the same as recovery earlier in life!  The one good thing is that I did lose a bit of weight because of the restricted diet.  Based on my weight today, I can see that I did gain some back.  I'm getting a little tired of the weight story.  A friend of mine started taking Homeopathic HCG drops, and after she started losing weight, I decided to give it a try.  So, I'm on day two of the plan.  I'm not sure if it's the calorie restrictive diet that makes people lose weight, or if it's really the drops, but either way, I'll take the weight loss.  Onward and upward.

5/18/10 - 236  So far so good on the HCG drops (from www.rebekahspureliving.com).  Truthfully, I don't know if it's the drops or the low calorie diet that's cuasing me to lose, but I'm sticking it out with both.  Thank God, my brain seems to have turned off the desire/need to eat everything that I shouldn't (didn't really get a desire/craving for sweets and junk food until post-surgery, primarily because sweets were easier to eat than real food).  I still experience hunger, but for the most part I have done a good job of making good choices.  And the meal plan really is almost the same as what a post-surgery patient really should be eating anyhow, so really it's just taking me back to where I should be.  I am on day 27 of a 40 day protocol, then 40 days of maintenance, so we'll see how this all goes.

5/24/10 - 232.5 Twenty pounds down since I started HCG drops.  I ran out of drops a couple of days ago, but instead of ordering more drops, I'm planning on just continuing on with the 2nd Stage Protocol until I reach the 40th day.  After the third week, I started to slip on how strictly I stayed with the diet.  I found myself in a pinch, was in a place where there was no food except a vending machine, and I did not come prepared with my food.  So, I had a candy bar - it was tasty, but I felt like I had a hang over for the next 48 hours.  I am thankful for that reaction.  I have 'cheated' here and there, but when I say I've cheated, I mean, I may have eaten an extra melba toast or grissini, or I may have had an extra portion of fruit.  For the most part I've done well, and I think since I should be eating a 800 - 1200 calorie diet anyhow (for the RNY), I think I'll just try to maintain the food plan I'm at.  It's made a huge change in both my and my daughters life.  I can tell she's even losing weight with not eating out and preparing our meals at home - with every meal including a non-starch veggie and no bread. 

6/14/10 - 234.5  I went just under 40 days on the VLCD (Very Low Calorie Diet - 500 calories), then went about three weeks (I think) on maintenance.  It was a rough three weeks because I let stress and poor planning get the best of me, and I had a couple of days where I ate WHATEVER...pizza, fried chicken, candy, soda - the whole nine.  So, given that, I'm actually ok with the two pound gain, because it really should have been more.  I am upset with myself that I succumbed to the food, because I had been doing so well, and was so close to reprogramming my brain to the eating plan I was on.  Now, I have to re-program myself again...lesson learned (I hope).  So, I bought a new bottle of HCG, started the two day load over the weekend (but forgot to take my drops...so I hope I don't gain more)...today is day one of my 2nd round of Phase 2.  It was rough...I felt hungry quick a bit - I've had 64 oz of water, plus 3 cups of organic green tea today just trying to fill up...but the success is that I did not eat anything that I wasn't supposed to.  I can't wait until I go to bed, so I can stop thinking about eating!  I hope after a couple of days of taking the drops, the hunger and desire will diminish.  Gotta keep remembering that there is no food that tastes as good as dropping a few clothing sizes!  OH - I forgot to mention that I joined a 6 week Zumba class...LOVE IT!  I paid for the class in advance, so no excuses...every Saturday morning...I usually work out alone, but I think I like the community spirit in class.  Onward and upward.

9/2/10 -
222 I think I may have finally found the key for myself.  There were a number of factors that all came together at once to help transition me towards a more healthier lifestyle that has helped me to lose weight in spite of myself.  I talk about my journey on my new blog site.  If you have some time, please check it out!  I am no longer taking the drops, but I am transitioning to an organic lifestyle.  Because of that, I have had to be a lot more intentional about what I eat and because organic/'clean' eating kind of requires that you cook your own meals and eat in-season, fresh foods.  So, I have not necessarily been trying to lose weight, it has just come off because of my lifestyle change.  What I like about where I am is that when I weighed myself and saw 222, I didn't think "WOW - I'm so close to the next set of 'tens' in my weight loss...I'll kill myself for the next two days to get those two pounds off!  No, instead, I just said cool...soon, i'll probably be in the next set of tens.  I didn't beat myself up and race to the next level - I just accepted where I am, and enjoyed it for what it is.  Ahhh...this is nice. 

11/22/11 - Well, I guess it's been a while since I've logged on here.  I just recently got married (11.11.11) and bought a dress that was two sizes too small - not on purpose, just because someone had the dress I really wanteed but was out of my price range for sale on ebay - brand new, still with tags - at a price that was in my budget...just two sizes too small.  I took the plunge and bought the dress, and just could not motivate myself to do any of the crash diets I had done before, so instead I just started working out at home and being meticulous with tracking my food using an app on my phone (livestrong.com)...weird, but diet and exercise actually worked.  The first time I put on the dress, I couldn't zip it up, the next time I could zip it, but couldn't breath, the next time I zipped & could breathe!  It was hard work - hated every second of exercising, but I realize that is the key to long term weight loss and maintenance.  I should say that I do like working out, I just dispise waking up at the crack of dawn to do it.  I workout at minimum three times a week at home.  I have several step aerobic videos, walking workout videos, and treadmill workout videos, so I alternate between the different videos every time so I don't get bored.   Well, now that the wedding is over, I realize that the workout must continue...I still have weight to lose and really need to tone!!  So, the race continues!!

About Me
Grand Rapids, MI
Location
37.6
BMI
RNY
Surgery
04/21/2006
Surgery Date
Sep 30, 2004
Member Since

Friends 24

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