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Soooooooooo....

I'm down 116 as of yesterday. 7 Months out...

I went shopping to Celebrate...bought me a size 18 dress that looks good... woohoo...and a little sweater thingy to go over it cuz of my "wingy" arms. I bought a pair of size 20 jeans too but just a bit tight (stupid tummy is in the way) but they are good incentive to forge ahead. I will take a pic tomorrow of me in my new dress and post it when I get it scanned in :)

Start weight - 349 Current weight - 233
Start Size 34 or 5x
Current Size 18/20 or 1X/XL


I'm feeling good. I can't say how many times I would have quit and gotten frustrated without having had the surgery. How many I'll start again tomorrows I would have had...but I know I wouldn't be here where I am now...health wise for sure..
.
Bennies....

Blood Sugar - in control with no meds from A1c 13 to a 6.5
Incontinence - Gone
High Blood Pressure - off of meds
Cholesterol - in the "good" zone but working on my HDL
Arthritis in knee - no more pain.
Sleep Apnea - GONE

Confidence level a 10
Healthy eating 8 - I still make a few bad choices but over all I feel I have really developed good habits and skill sets.
People treat me different...it's way way noticeable.
I'm more active, and can exercise with out pain - it does get easier.
My emotional health is up and down but I am a work in progress...I do notice alot more old issues come up with my new "look", but I'm learning over deal with things without turning to food. I believe for me this will be a life challenge.
I crochet more LOL...its lower calorie
People ask me for eating and health advice more.
OH I put a down payment on a Caribbean cruise in Dec. 09 (wow)

Negative... droopy skin but not surprise there. Otherwise, nothing...I still eat most things I like or have found a substitute that I like more. So now I'm saving for Plastics, it's kinda fun to plan.

I'm terrified...I'll fail I'll regain the "other shoe will drop...because as much as it is hard work...it feels so good, I fear losing it... as I said a work in progess.

I love life and am excited for the future now because I believe it can happen and dreams can come true.

So...here I am...here we are...my daughter gave me a saying...it says
"The journey is the reward." Thank you all for being on the journey with me.

I just needed to share.

Twyla

I've been thinking about where I am in my weight loss. I am 9 weeks out and haven't lost in a little over two weeks. I couldn't help but stop and think that if I were doing this without the surgery I would have given up a long time ago. I would have "started" again tomorrow and probably failed tomorrow only to try again on "monday". There was always the next day. I'm a little discouraged but I know that I have no choice be to hang in and just do all the right things and my body will finally get the idea that I don't want the fat anymore. It makes me a bit crazy but I'm so grateful right now that I don't have the chance to "give up". Just a thought.

I feel rather profound today and so when a support group member asked for advice pre-surgery, especially when you worry about your decisions and putting your life on the line with surgery I replied...here is what I said :)

I always tell my kids to fast forward when they make a decision. How will this impact me in the future (like getting a tatoo for instance). Will I still want this in 3 mos, 1 year, 5 yrs etc. But, I knew that death with surgery was actually a lower risk to me than what it would be in say 5 years...My father died at age 57 (I'm 47), from diabetes. I wasn't even sure I could make it that far. I knew if I did I would be in such bad shape I wouldn't really be living life after. Now...8 weeks out...I feel so much better about my future and actually plan on having a great one.

My advice - fast forward :) remember when those niggling thoughts haunt you what your life will be like in the bright new future you are building for yourself. This will help you stay focused, even when it gets tough.

I've got the blues pretty bad. Every thing seems to have stalled out. I've done alot of research on Hibernation Syndome. I honestly feel this is where mose diets fail...you get to this part and give up. Well I don't have that choice anymore. So I'm just hanging in there. I upped my protein and am hoping that helps. I go into the docs at the end of the month so I am not going to weigh myself until I go to the nutritionist.

I'm down 50 Pounds and feeling good. Nothing major going on. I feel like I'm getting my energy back. I went swimming 2x over the weekend. Summer sure is slipping by quickly...sigh.

My BMI is now 47 so that is a good accomplishment also. I have people commenting on how they can tell I've lost weight. I need a new bra and undies :) I can live with my baggie clothes for a while longer everything is stretchy anyway.

Tomorrow is Monday...work....can't sleep.

More to come...or less to come LOL....

We had a potluck today for work. I went in to see if there was anything I could have, and say goodbye to the coworker who is leaving.
So I took a small spoonful of hummus,a little slice of chicken from a salad and 2 noodles from a pasta salad so i could taste it. A couple of people looked at me really weird but a friend who knows about my surgery says, Gee Twyla, are you sure you don't want another noodle...I don't know why but it stuck me as humorous, she meant it that way so we are laughing and everyone now thinks we're crazy. I still look at a buffet like that and remember what I would have eaten before the surgery, it amazes me. :)
Tomorrow is meetings with a box lunch, I ordered a tuna sandwich, I have soup there if it doesn't work out but thought I could scoop a little of the tuna out and save the rest of the sandwich for my daughter. I'm not sure what is harder sometimes, being at home and getting bored and trying to deal with that AND trying to get in my water and proteins (weekends are a challange) OR being at work and dealing with "outside" foods. I'm handling things so far, but also trying to work on things "inside Twyla" so that I cope with challenges that come along. There are definitely things to learn along the way!

Monday I'll be three weeks out. I feel
like I'm doing pretty good. I'm eating ok, moving slowly from smushy
to more regular food. I went out for breakfast this morning with my
daughter and had one sausage like, one egg - the waitresses face was
comical, like just one??? I mushed up the egg and cut the sausage into
itty bitty pieces. We had fun just talking and stuff (we've both been
super busy and had no time together, she's 18). I ate about half, but
it tasted good. :)
I was down 26 pounds as of a week ago, so for right now who knows LOL
I'm healing well now, no more infection.
Everyday seems to feel a bit better :)
I have to laugh cuz of how much I eat. I did a training class for
three days last week and they provided food. I brought my own soup in
and happily sat and ate that and a protein drink mid afternoon
besides. I can't help but think about what I would have eaten with out
the surgery, everything...I know. And breakfast today, my daughter has
eggs benedict and hashbrowns, it would take me 10 meals to eat her one breakfast (size wise). Thing is, I don't care, I like the smells,
tastes etc. but I'm not hungry. I'm so amazed about this, you hear
about it, but to go through it is amazing. People around me at work
and family have a harder time adjusting to me not eating than I do,
I'm always, no go ahead and eat that I don't mind. LOL
Here's another side effect that was a surprise - Hope. I really
beleive that before surgery, I was just living to die, I couldn't do
much other than work and sleep. Now I'm planning for the future, I
feel more excited about just day to day life. It feels pretty good.
Having my blood sugar normal is definitely making me feel overall better.
3 weeks out and I'm happy.

I went back to work today, bad idea. Felt great in the AM but didn't take long before I was pale and overtired and I have a desk job!!! But I ride the bus for an 1 1/2 hrs to get to work so it made a long day...I was hurting bad for the last ride home. Anyhow I got the ok to work from  home the next two days, thank goodness. This is just a reminder to up and comers...give yourself as much time as you need to recoup...you need it even when your feeling pretty good. I'm poor so can't miss much more work (I'm now out of Vac and sick time, sigh).

Took some of my pain medication when I got home, pain is better, but now I'm sleepy.

Down 19 pounds
AND off of all Diabetic Medicine...YEA!

Ok...feeling less shaky. So I was in the hospital for 4 days. It
didn't go as smooth as silk but all in all it went ok. They almost put
me in the ICU because my oxygen level was low, but in the end stuck me
in a regular room next to the nurses station. Surgery went fine, I
don't remember much but I guess waking up I kept worrying whether my
daughter was going to be to work on time :) how silly. I slept most of
the next day. Got up and walked in the morning next day. Night two had
a log grade fever which raised eyebrows. Also, I had some nausea and a
big of dry heaves and experience that I don't want to repeat. The
nausea medicine worked immediately, which was a blessing. But the next
morning I felt so much better, the nurse said it was like I crossed of
the "hump", fever was gone, oxygen level was up. I had an upper GI
done to check for leaks because of the fever (99.5). No leaks...Thank
goodness!
The guy said take 3-4 big swallows of the gunk they make you drink...
I took 3 larger sips ...but no one complained.
I'm home today. Ready to get started on my new way of life.
Oh...blood sugar....what blood sugar?!? My highest blood sugar was 114
and I am off my medicine. I'm a happy camper. They kept taking it in
case I needed medicine and I never did.
Favorite thing right now? SF Popsicles :)

Now that I'm on this side of the surgery I'll be happy to answer any
questions. Here's a couple that I would ask -

Yes, I did ask myself if I was crazy for doing this a least a dozen
times, but I just kept on pushing through.
Yes, I did have a moment of regret when I had the heeves.
No, I'm not hungry.
And I don't regret my decision for a moment, and I don't even know if
I lost any weight yet.

I'm not sure if I'm nervous or not. I just drank a big glass of water. Now I'm nothing by mouth except a sip with my morning meds. I went down to the lake and went swimming, lol well I got wet anyhow. It's so nice and summery today. Now I just need to get stuff done to be ready.

I will post again when I'm on the other side.