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Yeah! I finally feel 139lb lighter...well sometimes. Anyway. Im just glad that its gone!!! I was also able to ride my first rollercoaster last Saturday. Its been 5 years since I was told that I was too big to get on Apollo's Charriot at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg VA. I went back to that ride first and it felt so good not to have to struggle to get into the seat and buckle. I really felt like I lost over 130lbs! It was a great feeling to be able to ride those rides again without the embarrassment. Here's to the final days of Summer!!!

can I tell you, my Before picture is looking worse and worse everyday. When I lost 15 or 50lbs, I thought it was the most amazing thing, and it still is, but now! OMG, I know I wouldnt have been able to do this alone.
I don't "cheat". Yes a little bite of something does tempt me, but I dont do it. You know why. As soon as I do, its all over. A spoonful or a bite, turns into a cup and a cup turns into a bowl.
Im not saying Im never going to eat sweets again, but atleast let me try to control myself. I was that type that would get a little slice of cake, then go back for more. Then a little more and then one more for the road.
I'm just glad I made it this far. I'm not skinny, but I'm a long way from what I was!

Yeah, Im down 31lbs. Not yet able to fit into my clothes from a couple of years ago, but last years clothes that I got earlier this year are getting loose. Its amazing at how much weight I gained in one year. I have another 30lbs to go until I can sit comfortably into clothes from 2 years ago. Why do I hold on to soo many clothes? I guess I was just hoping that one day I would be able to fit back into them.
 

OMG. I finally made it out of the 300!!! It seemed to take forever. Its unbelievable how I am losing weight. If I count the water weight that I gained...which I am not exactly sure because I didnt weight myself before the surgery, but I weighed myself the day after I was released from the hospital.
I was 319 and now I'm 299. Ok yes, 299 is just below the 300 mark, but Im not going up again. Its going to continue to come down. The thing that I have to keep in mind is to walk. Now I am able to walk 20 mins a day, but Im trying to do a little better. August is going to be a busy month with walking....walking,...and more walking in HOT clothes.
If you haven't noticed yet, I dress up in period clothing and go to festivals where there is nothing but drinking and food. There's entertainment too, but when you cant do the drinking and eating tons, all you do is hang out with friends and WALK.
Food isnt sitting with me too well, maybe because Im not chewing enough. I had an egg this morning. BLAH. I couldnt eat the whole thing. I think I am going to skip food today UNLESS I get mash potatoes. I really just need to focus on my protien until these protien bullets come in.

Oh and I think Sunday will be my first social activity. Going to church. Im not that much of a church goer, but I feel guilty if I dont. Not to mention, God has been my strengh all my life, and I dont think I thanked him enough for helping me through this surgery....and now with no medication. So I need to go.

Anyway, Good Luck to anyone who is going through or planning on having the surgery. It still is the best thing I've ever done for myself.

Tomorrow will be a week after my surgery. I am getting better by the day. And lossing the LBs too!!
I am now taking my protein and eating puree foods. I am so greatful that Dr. Afram allows the clear liquid phase to only last six days. I was getting so sick of jello and ice.
This morning I had apple and pear oatmeal (baby food of course). I didnt want to push myself to eat too much so after setting aside my doctor's limit of 1/4 cup, I could only eat half of that.
My friend who had the surgery almost 2 years ago told me to mix fresh fruit in with the protien. She said to make it something delightful, instead of dreadful.
Im going to go out today with my mother to pick up a few more protein things, so I can take it faster than sipping.
Im also taking my daily meds. Someone the group meeting mentioned B-12, so I have the liquid kind from Wholefoods and Im going to start taking that today as soon as I get up from the computer.
Im leaking a little yellow stuff from my bandages, but they said it was normal. So I'm going to pay close attention to it. Atleast its not blood...
I took a Xanax pill last night because they said I can go back to using my prescription drugs. Last night I had my little anxiety issues, but I fell straight to sleep, which was strange even with the meds, and I woke up at 10am. 
Last night was the first time I had a full nights sleep since the surgery. 
All I can say is, dispite the food and the little pain, this was totally worth it. The food and the pain are just small stuff that will soon pass, but Im going to strive to keep this weight off forever!!! 

I lost 14lbs since Friday!!!  

Let me just say. OMG.
I have been trying to move and get around on my own. To a certain extent, it seems to work. I was in ICU since got out of surgery and by 3 I was in my own room. I stayed in ICU because of my sleep apnea. It was actually pretty awesome down there. The staff took very good care of me.
I had a long tube going down my nose into my stomach when I woke up. Talk about uncomfortable.
But to tell you the truth, all I can do is thank God that I was able to do it.
Now that Im off the morphine, I'm a little cranky, But the new pain killer they are giving me works WONDERS.
I find myself hungry, but not hungry. I think its because of my boredom and because EVERY OTHER commerical on tv has something to do with food!!
But this is something I will have to face for the rest of my life. So I have to get over it.
Okay, Im going to sleep now.

I have one week until my surgery. I can tell you I am very nervous.
I have Anxiety issues that Im trying to calm down without turning to my medication.
I think I am going to have start taking it again this weekend.
There is like a flood of emotions that I cant tell to shut up.
First, I am soo excited. I cant wait to see my body change. Im looking through old photos when I was 50lbs lighter. I cant wait to get to that point and to lose more weight.
I am so ready for this surgery.
Ive never had surgery before, like many people, so I am scared too. I am trying to push those fears aside.
Whats keeping me up tonight is my excitement. OMG! I am so excited. If I could get the surgery in the morning, I would.
Protein drinks, chicken broth, and baby food here I come!!
I can believe how blessed I am for getting the chance to do this.
Next year I will have a totally different body and a totally different mind set.
I am still reminding my self not to go shopping for any clothing (another thing I do when I am feeling super flabby).
I just cant wait. I cant even sleep!!!

...most people have been cheering me on about the surgery. My mother on the other hand is going through a "hate me" phase, that my sister has told me to just try to ride out. She used to love telling me how much weight I needed to lose when I was a kid. Now she wont have to do that. I guess.... I have no idea what her problem is.
Anyway, on to other people. This weekend I am meeting up with a few of my sorority sisters. We try to meet up every year to just hang out.
Well, basically there are three of them. One is a running machine and super fit. The other two are a little less than perfect, like me.
These two have eating disorders, like me. One can't eat normally because she has Gastroparesis, meaning she can't eat sugar, red meat, and basically anything besides egg beaters and coffee. The other is very over weight. I mean very morbidly obese. 
These two oppose of the surgery. The one with Gastroparesis is convinced I will eat like her for the rest of my life. Obviously she recieved all her information from hearsay. 
Then there is my other sister. Four years ago when I told all three girls that I was thinking about the surgery, she gave me this horror story about her mother going in for the surgery years ago and the doctor F*ed up something. So I got scared and didn't plan for it anymore, but I continued to think about it.
When I told her last month, she went off about NEVER doing the surgery! EVER.
Now I'm like," DUDE, not all doctors are created equal." I found one of the best doctors in the US. And he has been doing the surgery for 25 years on over 5000 patients. I'm pretty sure this guy knows what he is doing.
The funny thing is, the super fit sister told me that she was happy that I want to live a heathier life style. Go figure.
So this weekend when I meet up with them,  I am going to be tempted to tell them about the details about surgery and my surgen.

Here is the dilly-o.
*SIGH* I hated changing my date, but some times, things happen for a reason.
My surgery was due for June 16th. I was squeezed in early because I begged for it.
Then I remembered, almost a month later, my cousins wedding is on the 20th.  She isnt like this distant cousin that I could skip the wedding and no one would care. This is a cousin I've grown up with...in the same house whenever our families faced hard times. She's had such a tough life, and finally something good is happening to her. And it's her day.
I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in the wedding,  I already feel bad for having to say no. But thats another story.
So I had this battle with myself. Me or my cousin.
Would I get the surgery and just send a gift. Would I go through with the surgery, force myself to go and be a log at the wedding. Or would I risk pushing my surgery date back until late summer.
My sister and I talked about changing the date for two weeks, but I didnt want to give that day up! It would be two weeks if I kept the date.
Yesterday, I called the doctors office and changed the date. Later that day, I had an appointment at 2 for the cardiologist. I rushed into the city to make good time and accidently took the wrong exit. I made it to the doctor's office with four minutes to spare and a great parking spot. I went to the meter and realized I didnt have enough change and no cash to park in the lot across the street. If I hadnt changed the date earlier, I would have been crazy because I would have been forced to. I had to reschedule and the closest date is June 30th. SIGH.
To add to it, my general doctor called me this morning to tell me that I have anemia. I'm not sure if that will delay the sugery, but it should take a month to get my blood count back to normal. 
Well, in a month, I will be preparing for my surgery.
See how things worked out....I think I can get over the delay

I got the call from the Doctor's office. They said that all I had to do is give a estimate of weight for 5 years! Now that they have that info, I have to make an apointment with a few doctors by Dr. Afram's referal.
They are for cardiac and Op Pulm. and sleep Apnea clearance.
OMG. I'm actually going to get it! I've been waiting 4 years and its finally going to happen. WOW.