Transfiguration
In October 2004, I was referred to Dr. Benjamin Tribble for WLS by my PCP, who is very concerned about my health because of severe morbid obesity. With my abnormally high BMI, I am at an estimated 190% increased risk of death at my present weight.
I was impressed by Dr. Tribble's track record, the competency, his staff, and the holistic approach to weight loss that they take at the Palmetto Baptist Weight Management Center.
I am having significant adverse symptoms from my obesity. I have difficulty standing. I have arthritis and pain of my weight-bearing joints. I am a borderline hypertensive. I am unmedicated. I am sure to be put on medication without weight loss.
I have a family history of hypertension, stroke, heart attack, and emoblisms. Family history and morbid obesity, coupled with my increasing blood pressure will certainly put me at tremendous risk for life-threatening cardiovascular diseases.
My mother, father, maternal aunt, paternal grandfather and grandmother died of cardiovascular disease. My mother’s cardiovascular disease was complicated by diabetes.
I also suffer from shortness of breath related to asthma and obstructive sleep apnea. I currently use a CPAP machine to facilitate my breathing as I sleep.
Because of my acid reflux and pains and aches in my back and legs have difficulty sleeping, and therefore, am fatigued and tired during the day.
I have made many, many attempts to lose weight and this has gone on all my life. I was put on medications by my doctor to help lose weight. I have been put on medications over and over again. I would lose some weight then gain it all back, and more. I have also tried many exercise programs. I have tried Nutri-System, Physician’s Weight Loss Center, Weight Watchers, and Over-Eaters Anonymous. My primary care physician put me on Adipex and Meridia years ago.
After a doctor supervised 500 calorie per day diet in 1986, I developed gallbladder disease. It is somewhat ironic that obesity and weight loss among obese persons are each independent risk factors for gallbladder disease.
Due to my obesity, I have difficulty exercising, swimming, and engaging in strenuous work-related walking. I need to walk to my classrooms to teach. I do not socialize much because I often can’t fit into public seating. I cannot fly due to my weight and the small seats on planes. This has impacted my ability to be effective at national professional conferences.
My colleagues ... How can I be a health psychologist and look so unhealthy?
People don't relate to your knowledge or inner-worth, they make judgements about your exterior FIRST!
I really wanted to have kids after earning my Ph.D. I have never been pregnant. My physician believes that this is due to obesity-related hormonal changes and amenorrhea. I ended up divorced with no kids and part of my problems had to do with obesity. My terminally ill parents and sister became like my kids and when they passed I was alone.
I have been in denial for so long. There were a series of painful events that pushed me out of denial. I just got tired of eating for comfort. My comfort zone must come from me, not food.
I DON'T ENJOY EATING ANYMORE!!! I have also come to realize that my long-term health is controllable. I do not have to be a victim of an extensive family history of obesity and disease. After confronting these issues, food as lost its allure. Food no longer comforts me. My best friend was long gone even before I tried to get WLS.
DENIAL AND NEGLECT!!!!
My job and taking care of my ill family was more important than my weight. I dealt with it by telling myself I look good in my clothes and I'm a fine BIG GIRL.
I was never without male interest, so I denied weight was a problem. Were they the right ones? NO! Were they worse than the men skinny women attract? that can be debated. I dealt with weight discrimination by believing that my weight made me emotionally stronger and therefore superior to the "little people".
One day, I couldn't deny that I was suffering because of my weight. One of my early turning points came while watching the "Nutty Professor" with friends.
I identified far too much with Professor Klump in the "Nutty Professor". While everyone else laughed in the dark, I shed many tears. From the jokes made by students, to the awkwardness getting to classes, to the shyness because of my weight... I knew professor Klump too well. We had a connection. We probably would have ended up going to dinner, dating, getting married and eating ourselves into oblivion, if he was a real person.
Unlike Professor Klump, there was no magic weight loss pill or potion that could make me shrink. I couldn't get out of the OBESITY PRISON that easy. On the flip side, hard work, dieting to collapse, and exercise did little for my weight. I knew I am was the end of the road health-wise if I didn't do something soon.
I am determined to make a change in my life. I am hungry for a life that is fulfilling. I have decided to live my life like “It's Golden”.
I just hope there isn't a "Buddy Love-type" alter ego ready to jump out after my weight loss surgery.) smile. Oh well, the world will just have to get ready for her....
MY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY PICS
My Surgery 12/23/04
I have BIG NERVE putting this busted up picture on the internet!!!!!! I have a tummy picture complete with the drain. HOPE, my angel, took it but I thought I'd only show that one on request. Enough Said....
My LAP surgery was uneventful. Cookie Luscious (Hope) and Lisa Geters (Lisa G) were terrific angels!!! I couldn't have asked for more supportive angels. The surgery didn't hurt too bad. My open gallbladder was worse. The camera incision on my left side was the most painful. This made me not want to walk. BUT, I did it anyway.
This was taken on Jan 23rd (one month anniversary) after a 32 pound weight loss. I feel alot better and have lost one of my double chins.
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CHECK OUT MY JULY-NOVEMBER 2005 PHOTOS!!!!!!
November 15, 2005. It's been a while since I've journaled. I haven't been tied to the computer as much. I have been out of my house enjoying life.
It is amazing how much nicer people are to you once you lose 132 pounds. It is shameful that we treat people poorly based on weight and outward appearance. I must say that sometimes I feel like a "sell out", but I wouldn't go back to being super morbidly obese for anything. Life and the perks of being smaller are just tooooooo enjoyable. Maybe weightloss has released my inner-hedonist. Anyway, I'm looking for to making it to "one-derland" in the next few days and it will feel so good!!!!
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