Valencia T.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Well, I have come to the conclusion that no matter how much I lose, it will never be enough for my doctor.  I lost almost 6 pounds in 2.5 weeks and he was 'ok' with it.  He gave me my fill and I am now down to eating hardly anything.  I think this may be my sweet spot.  I have stopped taking my glucophage, because when I do, I get that 'low sugar headache' quickly and often. 

I h ave to chew more than ever, and at times, I just say aww heck, it isnt worth chewing this much, and stop eating. 

Just wanted to post an update. 

take care
~~v

This life is new, and it can either be exciting or it can be daunting.  And at times, it is both. 
I went for my two week after my last fill on April 29th.  I had lost about 8 lbs and he said i really lost 10lbs of fat and gained a few pounds of water.  He was pleased and said as much.  I am liking the idea of going in every few weeks for a while, it keeps me on track till I am good and going. 

I am at 33lbs lost and I am finally starting to feel like I am losing weight.  We were in Orlando for a day and I was able to walk around Downtown Disney fairly easily.  I stopped once to sit and rest, and beyond that I was ok.

The grieving feeling is starting to subside and I am starting to feel an excitement replace it.  We are planning a trip to Orlando in September to go to Universal Studios and I am excited that I may not have to rent an electric wheelchair.  I made it halfway through our last trip to Walmart without one, and that was about 5 lbs ago.  If I feel this good with losing 30lbs, can you imagine once I hit 75 or 100, i will be running through the grocery store. 

One of the things I have found that helps is eating out.  Now I know what you are saying,...many people have such a hard time finding food to eat when they are out.  I find that most restaurants are willing to edit or change foods for you if you ask.  I even ate at Cheesecake Factory this past week and did awesome.  We kind of plan for half the meal to be taken home to be lunch or dinner the next day.  Wings are my comfort food right now.  Naked, no sauce, just deep fried chicken wings with some salt.  I love them, and they are no carb goodness :)

I did have a bit of carrot cake on mother's day, but I eschewed the cake at two birthday parties this past week, so I am not feeling a bit guilty on the carrot cake. 

My next appointment is Friday, and I will be hopefully getting a fill again.  Its been 4 weeks since my last fill and I can tell the past week and a half have been a bit harder to control intake amounts.

So, I am slowly but surely doing this thing.
~~v

I have to be honest.  I avoided the doctor for quite a while longer than i should have.  I had to cancel my appt for my second fill due to the flu and then just "forgot" to reschedule it after I was well.

So I went in last Tuesday and he walks in and is just shaking his head at me and says "so you have crashed and burned".  I tried to deny that and he laughed and said that the 4.5 lbs I had lost in the 6 weeks since my last fill was no more than " good large bowel movement" for me. 

So he said he would give me a good decent fill and that he was going to start making me come in for appts. more often to keep an eye on me.  He says he wants to see a 10-15lb weight loss this time.  So, I was 391 (my scale and the docs are about 6lb different, but I am going to stick to mine cause that is what I can use every day) on my scale that morning going in to him. 

Well that fill ended up an overfill.  About 7 hours later (of course after the clinic had closed) I started vomiting up my own saliva.  I was miserable but of course me with my martyr syndrome told the on call doc i could wait till the morning.  So I had a completely sleepless night of  vomiting and pain and nausia.  The next morning I went in and got a wee bit unfilled.  I was so terrified of throwing up however, that I refused to eat anything, not even protein shakes for the rest of Wednesday.  I finally started with the EAS shakes (which are actually decent) and some sugar free jello on Thursday and by Saturday was eating solids again. 


I can feel this fill loosening again now a week later.  I am tighter but not as tight as it was at first.  Kinda like you get a new pair of jeans and they loosen up but they are still smaller than your last pair, just not as tight as when you first got them.

To be honest, I really didnt realize this would have me on a low carb diet all my life.  It was never really discussed.  I just assumed I wouldnt be able to eat that much.  I figured well I saw my sister with the gastric bypass and she just COULDN'T eat so this i sthe same thing only with less stomach cutting.    Nope.   Sorry not the same thing.  So, I am feeling bummed out that I just didnt go all the way and do that at this point.  But I know also that this will be good for me and my advantages long run will outweight the negatives. 

So I need to get over my addiction to carbs...i know i know i know.  But I just think I am going through a grieving process.  I love food.  I honestly can say I am starting to miss it.  But I am just hoping it will end up like my last relationship...I hated the breakup, it took  me over 5 years to really get over it and at times i look back and remember how nice it was...but in the end this life I have is so so so so much better. 

~~Valencia

Well, I went in for my first fill.  It wasnt as bad, or as good as I thought.  I really knew i would bet bitched out by my doctor cause after the swellig went down i gained weight.   I had realized that I could still eat, and did just that.  So then when I went to our support group meeting I saw my weight and flipped out and got on the wagon.  So when I went in, i knew i was down from what I had been , but up from what I was that first week at 24lbs down.  I am only now about 15 lbs down. 

The fill itself was uncomfortable but not painful.  He says I have a lot of fluid in the area and is concerned about the possibility of port infection.  So I will keep an eye on that. 

does anyone know of an online support meeting.  Not just boards, but actual online group meetings?  I could use some weekly support.  If I have to, I may join WW for a support group weekly.  The Bandsters group here only meets once a month. 

So here I am, I am doing ok.... Trudging along....15 down over 200 to go!
~~v

yeah, seems the question after my first meal was "did you vomit" and yes I did.

We were given the go ahead to have food, mushy or easily digested. 

So I had some soft scrambled eggs and a bit of ground beef.  I didnt chew very well.  And overate a bit.  So yeah I got nausiated a bit and had to hit the bathroom and just gagged and seemed to wretch a bit.  Nothing came up but some phlegm but I learned a very quick and valuable lesson.  Small bites, no matter how soft the food and chew till you cant stand it.

I have done better with the other foods I ate.  But then today I wasnt hungry at all till not (8pm) so I am wondering if I am only going to eat every other day. 

I need to find a place to get good recipes for natural yet low carb foods.  I dont like processed foods so much.  I am going to take pics every 25lbs and then make a slide show.

take care guys and thanks for the feedback.

Well, we had surgery Thursday. 
I am on pain meds, and boy does my shoulder hurt.  They had to repair a hiatal hernia and between that and the gas my shoulder is killing me.  The belly pain is not that bad today. 
I am a stomach sleeper, so it is a bit hard to sleep now, but I will work it out. 

So far so good.  I am just excited to start loosing.  Mike is being a great nurse and Alex is just confused as to why I am not skinny yet (cute kid). 

I look forward to my first check up on the 1st of Feb.

here's to the journey.

Well we finally have a date!!! yes!!!

but we may have to postpone :(

ok, this is it, I gained 10lbs over the holidays. 
so the doctor is worried about my liver

I started on the low carbs before I even went in Wednesday to his office, but i had only lost 2 of the 10lbs.  so he said I am going to have to lose 10-12 lbs by wednesday.

I have lost 5 since wednesday.   3 days, 5 lbs not bad....I am eating absolutely no carbs , mainly liquid.  and sugar free popcicles.  I am so excited that I think i can burn off at least the 10lbs  from pure excitement.  but prayers wouldnt hurt. 
~~valencia

Well, I was checking this site all the time for a while.  Then I got some disturbing news and abandoned everything.

Avmed at first denied my surgery.  They said according to my psych eval that I was too mentally unstable to have this surgery.  They asked for a second eval.  Than all kinds of stuff started coming from their end.  I was just so discouraged that I almost just decided not to have it.

I stopped my low carb, I decided I didnt care and tried to bury my head in the sand.  Even after they got the second eval they were being frankly a little bitchy.  So, I just figured it was not to be. 

Then here comes November and the holidays and I wanted to fly and see my sister and her kids since this was my first holiday without them around.  I would have to buy two tickets and of course i couldnt afford that.

Then my son started talking about how much he wishes I could at least be a foster mom so he can have kids to play with.  He also wants to go to Disney(we live in Florida so it is an easy trip).  But I dont see myself having a good time in Disney at my weight. 

So it started me back on the road.  I lit a fire under the ass of the insurance.  My hsuband called (he is an attorney) and said he was representing me and that he would file a complaint with the insurance blah blah blah...and then after my doctor didnt return my call, he called them too. 
Long story short, within 24 hours of his phone call, I was approved.

So, now, I have a ton of lab tests to do and baring any more complications, Jan 24th will be the first day of the rest of my life.

I am sorry to those who emailed me that I didnt reply.  I kinda was being an ostrich....but no more...I am now a gazelle!!
~~v

In a week I have lost 10lbs!  yeahoo!!!  In the past two weeks I am down about 14lbs.  If this keeps up, by the time my insurance gets its act together, I may not want to ahve the surgery  ;)  I can thank a baseball game for giving me the motivation to stay on this low carb thing so far.  I broke 2 seats at a local minor league game...while with a church group.  yeah, i freaked inside, and ended up taking the kids to the park area they have there to get away.  I am sure people felt so sorry for me...other than the rednecks who shouted rude comments as I fell the first time.  Oh well, maybe I need a few embarresments along the way to kick me in the more than ample rear end.  I do have to say, there is not much to eat when you are limited to only 30 carbs per day!!! omgosh you would not believe how many carbs foods have.  Even iceburg lettuce has some carbs.  Tonight I desperately wanted to eat out.  It is hard, so we hit up the Ruby Tuesday salad bar. Two nice salad plates later, I felt full for the first time in a week, and had only consumed about 10 carbs.  I came home and had strawberries and cool whip for dessert...4 large berries and a few tablespoons of the whip are only 7 carbs.  Still a lot when you only have 30 but I desperately wanted something 'comfort food' like.  I miss carbs and i realize I am an addict, but I will work on it...slowly but surely.  I wonder if the 12 steps would help.  I wonder if there is  group for carb addicts.  I mean I am going through regular DT's.  I am shakey and grumpy and on occasion sweaty, and man do I lash out at people.  Okay, something I have learned, and am saying to Alex(my son) a lot these past few days.  You arent hungry, you are bored.  It is amazing now that I am on this journey and in such distress that I see it,and can see him going down the same road.  Granted, he is 7 but he cant be hungry as much and as often as he claims.  I dont want this for him.  or you....any of you on this list.  Remember, sometimes you arent hungry...just bored. the incredible carb counting princess, ~~Valencia

Ok, so I had to start the low carb thing. I hate it! I am sure now I am an addict. I am now ready to admit that I really probably do ahve a problem with food addiction.

but, i am here to report a good thing!!

Monday I weighed 403( i think that was my total). I weighed before I went Wednesday and was down to 398. Today I jumped on after 2.5 days of low carbs i was down to 393.

total of 10lbs in a week. That is some water weight i know...but it is still a wonderful feeling. I dreamt of linguine all night. Yeah I am addicted.

So, I have to stay on this for a while more...till surgery. THis is of course to shrink my liver and help in surgery. Because the liver covers over the stomach, if I shrink it, I will have more room for them to maneuver in there. I hope it ends up working because if not he wont do the surgery.

So, here it is...I am Valencia and I am addicted to carbs and sugar. And I am ready to recover.
~~v