Vmom
I am a 57 year old gregarious, positive, woman with a family. I have a wonderful husband of 27 years, Dick, and 2 daughters, Kate and Mary. I am the Director of Recruiting for a high-tech consulting firm in Golden Valley and love my job and life.
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1-8-06
I am 11 days pre-op and getting excited. Tomorrow I start my 10day pre-op liquid diet. I really feel like this is the 2nd step to my goal, the first initiating the process in September.
My Dr.- Thomas Jones- is a so positive, and all the staff at Methodist/Park Nicolett have been supportive and reassuring.
I've jumped through numerous hoops already- testing/physicals/CPap/stress echocardiogram/exercise/and emotional piece is ongoing. This will be an interesting journey.
Today I am cautiously optomistic- a little nervous- and mostly just afraid of failing. More later.
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1-10-06
2nd day of liquid diet- didn't sleep well, and up at 3:30 then had instant breakfast. by 7:30 I was so nauseous (sp)I stayed home and got some sleep. up now drinking water. I hope this gets better- by last nite my stomach wouldn't stop growling:-) this must be revenge today- but I will not falter- I've come too far to let a little upset stomach deter me now. more later
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1-12-06
4th day of pre-op diet. It was a very hard day. Had my pre-op exam with my GP- all went well. However the entire day was a pain- HUNGRY- I could hear myself being overly cranky to several people at work so packed it in, went home stopped annoying everyone:-) Thank goodness my husband has been so supportive- he just smiles through all of this. I peeked at the scale tonite- down 7#. I hope my weight loss after next Thursday goes as well.
1 week- I can't believe it. No nerves- just very excited!!
Sunday PM is my daughter's birthday party, so we are going out to dinner. Hello skim milk and coffee!! I went to my first support group meeting at Park Nicollet. It was awesome. Dr. Dan Carey spoke about BMR and met some wonderful people. This weekend and next week are prep for surgery and post-surgery. Clean, food shop, hand off candidates to the other recruiters, and PACK!!!
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1-16-06
I made it through a week of liquids!!! Only fell off the wagon 2 times and had a piece of cheese- yum!! Last nite was my daughter's birthday party- out to dinner with family and friends. We had a wonderful time. My oldest daughter is 26, and a gem!! She has CP and is Autistic, so quite a challenge for her, but she is a fighter and a trooper- quite the inspiration for all of us. I had de-cap coffee and juice from the onion soup (ok, so one piece of onion snuck in:-)
I can't believe I made it this far and am so calm about the surgery. I guess after 2.5 years I am so certain of my decision and after meeting Dr. Jones feel even better. My family, friends, and co-workers are so supportive. I am blessed. My youngest daugher even did a partical liquid diet with me and will be my drill master for exercise post-surgery. She is a new teacher K-6 and leads a healthy life- just like I am now. I have 2.5 days of work left and trying to focus on that right now. Then prep, sleep, shower and off to the hospital Thursday AM. The house is cleaned, shopping done, and all I have to do is pack my bag and c-pap:-).
I had a insightful moment this AM. I actually thought about posting my weight- now for a person who has never been "normal" in size, never told my husband my weight, this is a huge deal. I finally told him last week and he was amazed but unfazed. What a journey this is. I've lost 13.5 pounds so far on this pre-op diet prep. That many fewer pounds to lose post-op and belive me, cream of wheat sounds like a feast right now-
more later
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1-17-06
Good day- positive and full of energy. 36 hours and counting. tomorrow prep and clear liquids. Mary scheduled a pedicure for us as a surprise. (now I'm worried about the new pedicure stations- raised very high- wonder if I can get up there). Well, I hope as I lose weight this will become less of an issue. I've lost 15# on the 10 pre-op diet as of today. Feel positive about that too. Now, I just want to be successful - all the "head hunger" stuff is what really scares me, so am joining the online group with Dr Phil's book.
I am planning on the accountability to help. I am calm and ready.
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1-23-06
It's been a few days- the morning of surgery I was a mess- I'm surprised my family didn't make me walk to the hospital:-) but they saw past it and knew it was just nerves. The surgery went perfectly- and Dr Jones and Amy PA were wonderful as were the nurses - Sheila in her spring loaded shoes, Kathi with the dry wit, and Kate who was filled with TLC. I still have issues pushing the water, but find my chicken broth to be heavenly! Got home Saturday and slept. Sunday my parents came to visit, I relaxed on the couch and read a book. Monday- had my best friend visit - Nancy, all 100 pounds of her :-)who brought me a size 1x tank top for inspiration and some great body lotion. My JP was removed in the hospital, so just have the bruising and some healing to do. Back to Dorothy on Wed. I have been reading Susan Leach's book and find it very motivating. I like her style and her sense of freedom. I can't wait. My daughter has been so wonderful- and my husband is doting- a good boy:-) I received so many flowers and gits and my "angel" is Peg- had WLS 3.5 years ago and is an inspirtion, confessor, and makes me laugh. I feel so good about this- just notice a few little "emotional" trips once in a while, but then that's why God made Zoloft. More later. Keep the faith!
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1-29-06
Well, my first day of pureed foods and it was wonderful. Mary (daughter) made breakfast and my own screamlbed egg with cheese!! It was the first food I had chewed in 3 weeks and it was wonderful!! For dinner I had ground chicken and mashed potatoes with broth. That too was exciting for my mouth.
Not much in volume but filling in taste. The last few days have been emotional - down= not losing, lots of diarrea, and no energy. Feel better today. Friday was a huge day: did a little work on the phone for our leadership meeting, had a visit from Peg, and then 1
spent 1.5 hours at Target with Mary. Felt GREAT! to be out in public, but was I tired when I got home!
Mary has been so supportive and helps to keep me grounded, positive, and moving ahead. If anyone ever reads this, be sure to have your own angel there to help. Tommorow will be better and I am going to Rainbow for some little things and a shorter trip:-)
I may pick up my friend and have coffee with her too.
The scale doesn't move, and not a single difference in the body. So much for all those who lose 20#;s and a dress size the first 2 weeks. I am going to have to work extra hard for all of this. LIfe is not fair!!! My pain is gone but for my lower abdomen outside- itch and sore. Sleeping better now too.
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2-2-06
Happy Groundhog Day! 2 weeks ago I was on my way to the hospital. Can't believe it. The weight seems to be coming off. After surgery was up about 20#s - ugh. So have been working at that. Yestersay was at 358 from 378. Food= egg, yogurt, cottage cheese, hot chocolate with extra dry milk, a little chicken and broth, string cheese. Got the Isopure - not too bad, made a frosty last nite and man is it filling. Think I will do 1/2 recipe.
Really weak and lazy the last week and depressed. I think all the inactivity really gets to me. Bruises are diminishing, and looking better. Sleeping is the real issue. Up at 3 AM today and just puttered around. I have spent alot of time on the OH site - lots of personal stories and issues to share. I have yet to do much exercise. Walking is hard enough with my back. Next week I am going to start my back exercises and focus on those and walking before I get up the nerve to head to the gym with Mary. I get my hair cut today- maybe that will help my mood. It's time to get over it!! Got a great bonus from work, so no money issues to deal with for a while. Thats' good. all found money. I do work for great guys- supportive and understanding. more later
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2-3-06
2 weeks since surgery. Felt a little stronger today and in a better mood. Normal in the bathroom for once- that 2 days in a row. No hunger today at all. Had cottage cheese, cheese, hot chocolate with protein sup. nothing sounds appetizing. I finally slept well last nite accounting for feeling better today no doubt. Mary has the flu so made comfort food- grilled cheese -- for supper for the fam. It looked soooooooo good. I still can't believe I actually stick to the regime. Maybe I actually am changing my behavior- by choise. Whatever it is, I feel good about that and need to transfer that to my entire day/attitude. Tomorrow I take Kate for our weekly outing - that will be fun to get out and spend time with my angel.
Next Wed is group and I am spending a little time in the office. Lunch- yogurt:-) with the girls, and then a little time with the new hires at our U. It'll be great to meet all the guys I've hired in Boston and Atlanta. I am really looking forward to it. I plan on going in around noon, meeting the boys, and then resting a little on my couch in the office before going to group at 6. Long day-
so will take lots of breaks. weight loss is slow. very slow. - makes me depressed. But we keep on truckin'.
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2-9-06
Life is better- felt nauseus all this week- then did some digging and just need to up my water!! Duh! Went to visit work yesterday. What a high!! lots of hugs and we miss you. That felt good. I did feel out of sync- but being gone 3 weeks will do that in our fast-paced consulting world. I got on the scale this AM down to 247+!! that's 31 pounds since surgery. I still can't believe it's real- tried on the jeans I bought last fall that I couldnt zip. I could zip with no issue, but the button was too tight on my tummy, so put them back for a while. Losing in the tummy area so hope this continues. I struggle with the protein- those drinks make me gag!!!! Went to Applebees last nite and had the french onion soup/ Weight Watchers kind- it was ok- just felt good to smell real food even if I can't eat it yet. and to get out. I think I make a lousy hermit- need social interaction and to laugh!!!
Katie stopped by and we planned the next week or so- she will always be ocd about plans :-) Feeling good, just weak yet. So, need to push a little on that.
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2-11-06
Well the scale is kind- down to 344 today. But- I think I have the flu. I ache all over and food makes me nauseus. If I can get myslef to eat,it stays down. Diarrhea all AM and slept most of the aft. Doing laundry tonite. Not so weak, just sooooooo tired. If it's due to protein, I won't be surprised. I think the family is getting sick of this and anxious for me to get movin'. I go back to work Mon. part-time- I dread it already even though I love my job.
cj
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2-22-06
It's been a tough couple of weeks. Constant diareha!! every 30-45 min. Called the doc and told to cut the milk products and take Benefiber. I hope it's finally starting to work a little. Finding food without dairy is a challenge. Went to dietician Monday 2-20 and she also thinks lactose intolerance. and I do think I had the flu. Yesterday had a piece of toast- threw it up. smoking is still an issue, feel soooo tired, depressed, and can't sleep. Up every AM @ 3 or 4 and making my cup of coffee to put my benefiber in.
What a life. My best friend is stopping by today to go to the store for me and get some things I hope I can eat. Trying to work a little- but have less energy than when I got home from the hospital. This is hard! Maybe the worst is past. Am down to 337.5 this AM. my middle is smaller, my arms are getting pretty flabby, but can still wear all my old clothes- oh, well, let's see what happens over time. I am waiting for a WOW moment. I just want to have a time when I'm not so nauseous. I really don't feel very connected to any of the groups on the board. They all seem to know each other and have meeting nites for support. I do enjoy reading the posts and learning howerver. I guess we all use these boards in our own way..... enough for now. I always hope next post will be more positive.
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3-4-06
Wow- I can't believe how long it's been since I wrote anything!!
I found out I have an intestonal bacterial infection- C-diff.
I think I had it since surgery but had no frame of reference. So the
diarrhea finally stopped and the nausea. Now after 6 weeks of that
I started ot feel 'normal" on 'friday and went back to work on Friday.
Down 40#- to 329 from pre-op weight of 378.
Mary and I went shoppin at Penneys today and I actually bought 3x--- I cried in the dressing room!! I really bought clothes a regular store!!!
My TN kicked in esterday so on Gabapentin today, so feel drunk :-)
but it has stopped the pain and in the past.
I'm tired still, and not alot of stamina, but the 6 week infection has more to do with that. So will build strength. Mary has a date tonite with a young man she met. She really likes him-- I hope this realtionship will be good. She deserves it.
more later--
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3-21-06
It's been a while since I posted- has been a tough 3 weeks. only 5 pounds lost, 3 episodes of C-diff, and not finally on a 2 week regime with yeast and antibotics. Back to work full-time and can work from home all I want. Hired a CFO in a week and just keep on truckin' as best I can. Nausea, a little diarhhea, and just tired.
Saw dietician Monday- more protein and can add some little things to perk up my apetite. I still feel like crap. What did I do? I still believe I did the right thing-- just want to feel better.
more later.
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3-28-06
Well, done with pills as of yesterday, the Flagyl- ate my yougurt , called my dr. and had more diareha this aft. hopefully just a fluke.
Food tasted better now that I'm off the pills too. Have the lab test on Friday --- Please pray that this is over and I can get on with healing. down to 320 yesterday AM -- only weighing 1/week now. too much flucutaion during this last little pause in weight loss. Still so tired, but will keep my eye on the goal. My daughter is frustrated and thinks I'm a baby. but man, 2months of feeling like crap every day gets me down.
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4-4-06
Well, one week off the pills and tests came back negative for c-diff!!!
Hope this lasts. Feeling better/ less nauseous- working 1/2 days in the office and building strength. My legs feel like rubber, so trying to walk more and doing my back strength exercises. I feel week like right after sugergy, but doing well. losing still-
378/318. Slow but steady. I am so grateful this has passed. ***********************************************
4-07-6
Spoke too soon- back on Wed. waiting for referral to specialist on Monday- gastro. Rats. down to 314 today.
4-23-06
OOPs, been a while- Down to 307 today, and having trouble losing. Had my 3 months post-op Thursday. 8,5"" off my waist and 5 off my hips (or spare tire). Down from 32-34 to 26-28. That was a big deal for me. Tangible evidence. Strength is slowly increasing/buying a stationary bike for hubby and me -- we both need it!!! Going to a Gastro. this month also just to check and see.
Eating is fine- if I watch it-- I still eat too fast, so am working hard on that. I can now eat most anything- so am testing the waters carefully. I have to throw up or dump, but man there are times when I feel really lousy after eating-- my fault, not pouchie.
Back at work full-time and by Friday am shot. Now I worry I won't lose any more weight. The next pounds will really start to make a difference and I still can't believe that goal will be met for me-- for all of you? of cousre!!! but I have been fat so long I can't think in terms of thin. Oh well, time will tell.
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305 today- up and down--no progress. - only down 13# this month
feeling much better- gastro consult on Thursday.
got bike and have ridden-- man am I out of shape!!
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300 today-- 1 more # and first MAJOR goal met.
down to a 46D bra- size 26 pants. 3x tops. lots of compliments.
every time I eat I get nauseous. Why? so, I really hate to eat.
I have found fats are bad, sugar is tolerated some, and the best is a plain chicken breast. OH well, life goes on. more energy and still weak legs, but walking is better. Now I have to quit smoking.
LIfe is good. Work is busy and my kids are fine.
Happy Mothers Day!!!
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6-5-06
Good Morning all- it's summer and wonderful. Having been cold all the time 80+ degree days are wonderful. Down to 288 yesterday, and I still struggle getting in the protein and water and that slows my loss. Doing more walking and working very hard right now. long days and lots of interviewing. Bad news, my dad will be 90 July 8th but we took him to the hospital Thursday PM.-renal failure and cardiac issues plus gout which causes him the most pain. He is at Abott. The Dr's are pushing dialysis, but he wants no part of machines. So- we wait and see. I am having trouble sleeping- think about him all the time coupled with my Mom's ability to bear up under this. I pray his journey is filled with love and no pain.
The girls are fine- and this journey is worth it. To fit into a booth and be able to cross mylegs is awesome.
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7-15-06
Long time since I posted. We lost my dad on June 26th. He was in the hospital for 8 days, then to a Rehab at Northridge in Crystal for 14 days, and finally on a Thursday we got him home. We had arranged hospice and in-home health 24/7. Friday he felt better, Saturday he started going down hill. Sunday he spoke a little in the AM but by Monday AM he never opened his eyes again. He died at 5:15 with his family there. The funeral was that Friday at his home church in the country surrounded by the corn, the blue sky, and warm weather. I miss him. My mom is doing ok- the hard part is to come yet. Now that alot of the details are handled we must get on with living. Needless to say my weight loss has slowed. I'm down to 273, size 24 pants and 18-20 tops as Lane Bryant. and the 46D really does fit now. So the last month only 15#s. I also can't eat any breads- amazingly cooked veggies are great, chicken usually, and tuna work well. Eggs are ok, no sugars yet. Drinking? tired some wine- had a sip and no go. That's ok.
Back to work and running fast-- lots to do. 6 months next week and down 105 #'s. Good, but need to do alot more.
haven't seen the dietician-- probably avoidance because I don't eat very well.
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7-29-06
I've hit the wall on weight loss- still the same 273#. My first plateau. I am not discouraged yet just frustrated. My activity is up, my sizes are down and 24's are getting loose but still wearable. My birthday was yesterday- a nice day- with family and lots of errands. I sometimes wonder what my family would do if I staged a strike and didn't cater to their every need. Even my husband wanted everything his way yesterday-- I don't get it. My boss gave me the afternoon off and everyone else just asked "what have youdone for me today?" Whine whine whine. Suck it up and just keep truckin'. 2 months ago I requested the century club card and - nothing-- no response - no card-
I'll try again and see if anyone gives a crap. Till later, more water, more walking and more work. I'm tired.
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8-27-06
Well, down to 260# this week. so I guess the stall has passed.
Down another size-- pants 22 and tops 18-20.
I feel good, but starting to want to eat more, so have to be very cautious. Nite time eating - always a bad habit- ends today.
Get back on track!!!!!
I told my best friend about my shoppong last Sunday and said, "yeah, I'm still a fat lady, but just not as fat"
she said, you are not fat anymore.
I can't tell you how wondeful that felt-- even if she is being kind, I have never ever heard that from anyone!!!
Lots of stresss at work and with my Mother- Dick having surgery and radiation, but the girls are good- both dating and happy.
Summer is almost over -- time to bundle up and survive the winter. oh, bot an email from OH website folks-- emails went to spam so will get it fixed. Keep on truckin'
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10-6-06
Hi all! finally got below the 250 mark to 249#. That's 29#s away from Dr. Jones' goal! I can't believe it. I have space between my legs, sagging skin on my thighs ( I know some may be upset, but it's so ood to see that). I just found out yesterday my company is not paying for Bariatric surgery for our employees anymore. We switched to BC/BS in Sept. Needless to say it was a blow to many of our employees and families. It's amazing how the prejedice about obesity is not rearing its ugly head in new ways. Of course cost is a factor- a solid business reason. But, the conversation with my CEO was illuminating. He claims it's a matter of "intake" and the need for homo sapiens to store fat.. blah blah blah-- Like he really gets it. I am disappointed in him. Arrogance based on prejedice. Life is full of surprises, and this one really caught me off guard. I voiced my objections and dissappointment. Which is no doubt just noise. I will continue to advocate.
LIfe is busy-work and home. My mother is doing better and everyone seems healthy and content for now. Hope this lasts.
Size: 22 pants/ 20's if a little give-
18 tops.
shoes fitting better and less swelling in my feet and ankles.
I still love being able to cross my legs and can actually see them becoming smaller. more later.
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10-17-06
Wanted to post today- my 9 month anniversary. 246 today. had manacotti for lunch and turkey/cheese for dinner. lots of fluids and of course my vitamins. I still feel fat, but so much healthier. I can walk!!!! my ultimate goal! it seems like each pound I lose I can walk better. I am starting to see a little skin sag around my knees.
what a good thing to see. I suspect some day this may bother me, but right now it means progress. I have tons of energy and on the weekends just keep on truckin. I can't wait to get up in the am and get moving. I am flying to atlanta and boston for the holiday parties in myoffices there- no doubt in coach with more room for me and others in the row. let's see if I need the "extension" belt.
Monday my daughter and I are going shopping for a great suit at Macy's. I can't wait. I hope I can fit into a 20 or 22. I think shoes and accessories are also in order. what a gift. I can't remember being this thin since before I got married in 1978. Things are fine- less busy at work, Grandma has more good days than bad, Mary is happy with her boyfirend and busy at work, and Kate is always great. Dickie - he concerns me-- losing ground - I hope he doesn't have anything bad happen-- the meds should help, but I think he gets a little depressed by his inability to do as much as he used to He'll be 83 in Nov. time to run. I think I'll hit the bike, walk, and really do the 10 day back to basics next week and see if I can break the 240mark. 378/246/220/175.
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