Jessica D
6/4/02 --Tuesday
I have only (HA...only) been struggling with my weight for about 7.5 years. I was a thin child and a very active teenager. However, one bad, destructive relationship and I started piling on the weight. I tried everything and last year I stumbled on a website for eDiets.com, I have been with them since and it’s been a struggle. I love the program and the support is amazing, but I need something else. After speaking with my PCP, she thought that I should consider WLS. I found someone else on eDiets (Hi Jilly!) that had it and I was sold. I have been doing quite a bit of research and I have already been to my information session. I just received my list of appointments and my last one is 8/26/02. Not that long to wait. Right now I am at 285 and I am 5'0" tall (on a good day!) :-)
6/5/02 -- Wednesday
I just hit my 1st snag. I got a call from my PCP (who was doing all my referrals) and she told me that I would have to get my own referral for the psych consult. No problem, I called them and they told me that Jane Romano was not in network. So, I found out that Bruce Rothschild was in network so I asked for an appointment with him. I was told that the earliest that I could get in would be 10/18/02. I said fine and booked the appointment. I was really upset and a friend of mine at work told me to call the insurance people back and find out how much it would cost if I went out of network. I was told that her maximum allowance is $107. and that insurance would pay half of that. I said ok...that's not too bad. So I call the psych people back and ask to be put back into my old appointment (8/27/02). Then I told her that I would be self-paying. She told me that Jane's fee is $185. but I didn't want to wait until October so I said that it would have to be ok. I am really disappointed because when I asked if she would lower her price based on the circumstances, I was told that I was lucky to get the appointment and that no exception would or could be made. Somehow I will have to come up with this money. I hope that everything else goes smoother.
6/8/02 -- Saturday
I am starting to get a bit nervous. I have my 1st appointment (of many!) on Tuesday (6/11/02). It’s for the breathing test. I have noticed lately that I can hear myself breathing (even when I am resting) and I am also starting to have trouble with my feet and legs. Never before did they hurt me but now, if I stand to long, I am in agony. I am 26 years old and I want to start living again.
** Can anyone who has gone thru Dr. Barba's surgery drop me a line and tell me their experience...Thanks! :-) **
6/11/02 -- Tuesday
I just got home from my breathing test and they also took lots of blood from me. But when taking the blood they didn't take it from my arm, nope they took it from my wrist. My entire hand went numb and I still can't feel my thumb. Oh well, the price to pay I guess. The breathing test went ok, I guess. The lady administering the tests wasn't talking so I don't know if that is good or bad. Next test is on 6/25/02. This is my Cardiology consult. All these doctors’ appointments are making me nervous but I have to do it if I want the surgery. I just hope that after going thru all of this that my insurance agrees that it’s medically necessary and approves the surgery.
6/18/02 -- Tuesday
Hi again! I have great news. But 1st a bit of background. I pretty much hate my present job (in a payroll department), but I can't leave because they pay for school and I have great insurance. So, I applied and was hired for a new position in another division. This was before I got my list of Doctor's appointments, so I was worried that I was going to start this job and then my surgery was going to be approved and I wouldn't be able to get the time off. So I put a list of all of my entitled time off (vacation, sick and personal days) and figured out that I have 5 weeks and 4 days of paid time off. So, I met with my soon-to-be-new boss and I told her that I would (positive thinking) be having surgery. She asked what kind and I told her. She said to me that her Mother had that surgery and she now looks fantastic. Then she says to me, "don't worry, and take as much time off as you need." I was shocked to say the very least. I haven't even started working for her yet...I don't start until 7/1. My last Doctor consultation is 8/27/02; hopefully surgery won't be too long after that. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
Only 7 more days until my cardiology appointment. Has anyone had this done? I am a bit nervous about all this poking and prodding.
6/26/02 -- Wednesday
Ok, so I went and saw Dr. Freund yesterday. When I got there the nurse brought me into the room and did the EKG. No biggie, just a few things stuck all over my chest and ribcage. Then she finished and told me to sit up and that the Dr. would be in shortly. About 5 minutes later Dr. Freund came in and started talking to me. He was asking me all types of questions and I was trying to be honest with him. He then asked me if I ever have a pressing feeling or a tightening of my chest. I told him "Yes", and after saying it I knew that I was in trouble. Because of that one tiny answer, I have to have an Echo stress test. I did the echocardiogram and that looked good, but because I had taken both Redux and Podium, he wants to make sure that everything is OK. I thought that it would push everything back, but I scheduled it for the same day (just earlier) as my psych consults. I only have another 2 months of tests (last test is the 27th of Aug) and then hopefully, I will get my date. I never thought that this would be so time consuming and difficult. My friends that know about it are being so supportive. I really wish that I could just have the surgery tomorrow. I am tired of being poked and prodded at. But I suppose that I should get used to it, because that is what's going to happen when I have surgery. Ok, next appointments are on the 3rd of July. Only 6 more days. On that day, I have my tummy ultrasound and my sleep apnea consult. This sounds horrible to say, but I really hope that I have sleep apnea because that will be my 1st co-morbidity...other than the lower back pain, neck and shoulder pain (things like that). Plus, I snore like an airplane waiting to take off and I never get more than like 3-4 hrs of sleep a night. It'll be nice to know that I am not crazy. You know.
7/3/02 -- Wednesday
Hi there. I had 2 doctors’ appointments today. At 8 am, I went to get my tummy ultrasound. The tech doing the ultrasound said that everything looked good. I guess that is a good thing. Then today at 2 pm, I had the sleep apnea consult. It was the funniest thing. The doctor was asking me all these questions and he was 1/2 way down his list of questions and he tossed down his pen and he was like, "That's it...I have heard enough, why don't we just schedule you for the sleep test." Apparently, all the answers that I had given him basically meant that I had it. The nurse is going to call me with my appointment, but he said that it would probably be within the next week or two. I asked that it would be on a Friday night because I get up so early in the morning for work. The doctor (Dr. William Preskeins out of St. Francis Hospital in Hartford, CT.) was the sweetest thing! He said that I was a fantastic candidate for the surgery, although he doesn't know if I am right for it to be done lap. But like he said, he's not a surgeon, so not to hold him to it. :~) My next appointment is on the 7/10/02. It’s my 1st nutrition consult. Only 3 more appointments (not counting the consult with Dr. Barba). Damn, I am getting so excited/nervous.
7/7/02 -- Sunday
Today was a horrible day! I have a wedding that I have to go to on the 19th of July. So, I had to buy a dress. I hate fancy dress shopping. Why? Because, I'm 26 yrs old and the only dresses that I can fit into are all frumpy. Not to mention, I'm really short (5'0") so it makes it all the worse. I ended up finding 2 dresses but I'm not too sure that I like either one. Oh well. It’s for only 1 day and a few hours. Only 3 more days until my 1st nutrition consult. I am starting to get worried that insurance will deny me. I was hoping that if anyone out there has dealt with Cigna that they could tell me what to expect. I am starting to believe that no one reads these profiles. I guess I don't expect a million emails, but I haven't heard anyone. :~( I guess it’s just been a bad day.
7/11/02 -- Thursday
Hi all! I went to my 1st nutrition appointment yesterday. While I was waiting in the waiting room, I was talking to a few of the ladies there. All the ladies were post-op and one actually showed me her lap scars! That actually was a relief because now I know what to expect. So I met with Judy Carty (nutritionist) and she put me on a 4-week diet. Nothing big, but when I meet with her again (in a month 8/4/02), I need to have lost 4 lbs. I can totally do that! :-)
7/17/02 -- Wednesday
OMIGOD!!! The most amazing thing just happened! Remember the psych appointment that was scheduled all the way at the end of Aug? Well, the nurse just called and wanted to know if I could change my appointment (my heart dropped to my feet) and I said, "To when?"...To which she said, JULY 23!!! I thanked her so much!!! I am now done with appointments (well, I still have to met with the surgeon) on August 8th! I can't believe how well things are falling into place. I am totally hoping that I can have surgery in September. What a birthday present that will be for me! (Birthday is August 15th -- I'll be 27) How nice it will be to not be fat on my next birthday! :-)
I am having one small problem...I was told that I have to lose 4 lbs by 8-6...piece of cake I thought. I am having MAJOR problems not pigging out on all the foods that I like. I have to do better. I could really use some words of encouragement.
Bye for now.
7/18/02 -- Thursday
OK, last night was bad. My roommate, her boyfriend and I went to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner. We were put at a booth in the bar area. We get to the table and I panic...there is no way in hell that I can fit. My roommate squeezes in (she is like a size 8) and I try. I get stuck and demand that the waitress moves us to another table. I was mortified...I wouldn't have been THAT upset if Jason wasn't with us, but he was so I was sooo embarrassed.
***I am looking for an Angel*** anyone interested?
7/21/02 -- Sunday
I HAVE AN ANGEL!!! A wonderful friend from eDiets -- Jilly Golt -- has said that she would be my angel. I feel so honored. Jilly has a profile on here...under IL. She had surgery the start of this year (1/18/02) and has done AMAZING!!! I am so very proud of here. Thank you, Jilly. :~) I have a busy week coming up, on Tuesday is my psych consult (and I DON'T have to take the MMPI) and then Friday is my sleep consult. I can't believe how quickly things are moving...it was hurry up and wait for so long...keep your fingers crossed. I think that I am going to try getting into the chat part of this site.
7/24/02 -- Wednesday
Yesterday I had my psych consult. It went so well. She was asking me questions that I could answer and then she asked me how long I had been researching this. I told her since 1997 (but I didn't fit the criteria back then) and she seemed impressed with what I do know about WLS. She said that I am an excellent candidate and that she will tell my doctor that she thinks that I should have it done. I am so excited...I have no words left!!! I can't believe how quickly things are progressing...for the longest time it was hurry up and wait. I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel now!! I am hoping to have surgery in September. Wish me luck! I have my sleep test on Friday and then on Aug 8th I have my 2nd nutrition consult.
7/27/02 -- Saturday
Last night was my sleep test. I HAVE A CO-MORBIDITY!!! I HAVE SLEEP APNEA. How sad is that...I am excited because I don't breathe when I sleep. But, I am worried that insurance is going to deny me. I know that they shouldn't, my BMI is high enough, I weigh enough and my policy states as long as it’s medically necessary. In this case it’s totally medically necessary. Don't you think? So I go to the hospital last night and he tells me to get changed into my pj's. So I get changed and he tells me to watch the video about sleep apnea. I watch the video, and then he comes in and starts hooking me up. It takes about 45 minutes, and during that time we find out that I am allergic to the silk tape that the hospitals use. So I just hang out for awhile and then at 11pm he tells me that it's time for the lights to be shut off. I roll over (the best that I can) and listen to the news and then Jay Leno. I CAN'T fall asleep. Finally about 12:30 I doze off. He comes in 2 hrs later to wake me up so that I can put the mask on. Basically I stopped breathing enough times that they started treatment last night. While he was hooking me up to the mask, my cell phone went off (yes, at 2:30 am) but I was all wired up to the bed so I didn't answer it. I dozed for a bit and then at 3:30 am I was wide-awake and have been since (it’s now 8:14 pm). I am exhausted. He told me that it’d take a few weeks to get the total results but that they will be in touch. I can't wait to hear what they have to say. Oh yeah...funny thing. He told me that I was the most entertaining person he watched in awhile. I tossed and turned, talked, snored and generally rolled around for 2 hrs. :~)
I now am just waiting on my 2nd nutrition consult and then hopefully I am ON MY WAY. Bye for now.
8/1/02 -- Thursday
Happy August to you all! So, I have gotten some invoices from all the doctor's appointments that I have gone to...so far the grand total that it has cost my insurance is $1682.20...if anyone wants to know the breakdown, just email me. Only 6 more days until my 2nd nutrition appointment. I just (as of this morning) started taking water pills so that hopefully when I go and see her, I'm not all bloated. I have never taken them before and I'm not real sure that I understand what they do, but I want to make sure that when I see her, I have lost these stupid 4 lbs. I had my 1st WLS dream. I dreamt that I was in a waiting room and that I showed someone my Lap scars. (like that nice woman did for me). Things have to start happening faster...I am going insane waiting!!!
8/6/02 -- Tuesday
Last night I went to my 1st support meeting...it wasn't one thru my doctor or hospital, but based in Middletown @ Middlesex hospital. It was very helpful and it was weird because I ran into a girl that I haven't seen in at least 3 years. We had worked together at American Airlines back in 1996. I swear, I run into her at some of the strangest places. Hi Lisa!
I have my 2nd nutrition appointment today...I really hope that I lost those 4 freaking lbs. I made sure that I have my lightest clothes on, I'm taking OFF the shoes, and I am only eating a yogurt until I get weighed (at 12:45 pm). Wish me luck.
8/6/02 -- Tuesday
I just got back from my 2nd nutrition appointment and all I can say is WHOOO HOOO!!! I am so excited! I was told that more than likely it'll be done lap. I can't believe how wonderful I feel...oh yeah btw, I lost 6.1 lbs!!! And I was worried about 4 lbs! I am so excited! Only 22 more days till I meet with Dr. Lorenzo. I think that the office staff is amazing! Rosemary & Laura are 2 of the most wonderful, caring people that I have EVER met!
8/13/02 -- Tuesday
HOLY CRAP!! I just got the bill that was submitted to insurance for my sleep test...$1933.00. For me to spend a night in a bed hooked up to machines, almost $2000. I am in the wrong profession! :~)
8/15/02 -- Thursday
Happy Birthday to me. What a crappy birthday, I can't wait until next year...maybe it will be a happy birthday. I am miserable and I don't really know why. Only 13 more days until I meet with my surgeon and I get a date. That should make me happy, but right now, it doesn't. I don't know what the hell my problem is.
8/16/02 -- Friday
You know, this is a horrible thing to say, but I really hate my father. He is a complete asshole. He has never had a problem with either of my brothers (who are a normal weight -- the only thing that is important to my father), but with me he always has a look of disgust & distain on his face. It doesn't matter what I do. Shit, I'm the 1st in my family to get a college degree; do you think that he would acknowledge that as an achievement? Nope, my weight is the focus of his world. I said to him the other day "Would you like to come with Mom, Melissa and I to my meeting with the Surgeon on 8/28/02?" He says, no, I don't care what he has to say; I just want to see results.
What sucks is that because of school (getting my B.S.) I have to move back home (want to pay off bills so that I can buy a house --I hate paying rent).
I think that this is what's making me miserable. He single-handily ruined my birthday. I can't wait until I can (financially, emotionally & all of the above) tell him to f**k off!
I am also irritated because I have been reading profiles and all I have seen is people b*tching about their wait time. Some of these wait times are like a month or 2. I have been waiting since November. I am also tired of reading about how people aren't losing weight, but they are eating ice cream, lots of carbs, etc...Unless you are following your Dr’s orders to a "T"...Stop complaining! You are doing it to yourself.
I probably shouldn't be posting while in such a bad mood. It’s counterproductive. I may have to come back and delete all of this...but I will say that it has made me feel better (a bit).
8/28/02 -- Wednesday
HOLY SH*T!!! I have a date! Its 54 days from now...Oct. 21, 2002. However, because I have decided to have it done open, it could be sooner than that...like the 1st week in October. I am beside myself, I am so very excited! They are sending my insurance information over within the next week, so as long as insurance says "Yes", then I'm having surgery!!! I do have a question though...I am looking for some help on making the open/lap decision. I can have either and I'm not sure what to do. As of now, I have decided on open, but I'm not sure what to do. HELP!!!
9/3/02 -- Tuesday
I was asked to post my list of questions that I asked my Dr., so that’s what I am doing. Please feel free to use any of my questions:
1. How will the incision be closed? Stitches, Steri- Strips, Glue or Staples?
2. How will the procedure be done: Open or Lap?
a. If open, how long of an incision?
b. If lap, how many poke holes?
3. How long should the surgery take barring no complications?
4. Can my gallbladder be taken?
a. If not, will I be given meds to prevent gallstones?
5. Can I listen to music during surgery?
6. Will I go home with a “G” tube?
7. Will I have the booties that help to prevent blood clots?
8. What type of R-N-Y (Proximal or Distal)?
9. How small can you make my pouch?
10. How much intestines can you bypass?
11. Are either of you board certified?
12. Can I continue to take my birth control pill?
13. Will I be getting a binder in the hospital?
14. What about all my piercings?
15. What are my chances of getting an ulcer after surgery?
16. Can I get an epidural?
17. Will I be tested for H. Pylori bacteria?
a. Is there anything that I can do to prevent it?
18. Have you ever started a WLS but couldn’t complete it?
19. Will you leave a surgical marker that will show the location of my unused tummy?
20. Will I have a drainage tube in my tummy?
21. What type of painkillers will I be given for home use?
22. Are there gowns in the hospital for someone of my size?
23. When (after surgery) can I resume my normal activities?
24. Do I have a limit on how much I can carry or lift?
a. For how long?
25. How much should I lose?
26. Can I still take Advil (or other anti-inflammatory meds)?
27. Do you have a list of drugs that I can and cannot take?
28. What about pregnancy?
a. Will it be considered high risk?
29. Should I get a medic-alert bracelet?
30. When will the staples be removed?
31. What do you consider Proximal or Distal?
32. Will I get shots of heparin to prevent blood clots?
33. Will taking Zinc help to prevent hair loss?
34. When can I start to exercise?
35. Typically, do more complications occur with lap or open?
36. Typically, how long does it take to perform open surgery?
a. How long for lap?
37. How many of your patients have lost their spleens?
38. What are my odds of getting a hernia?
39. Can I actually cause a hernia?
40. Will I have a central line?
41. Will I have an “A” line?
42. Will I have a Foley?
a. If so, How long does it stay in?
43. Will I have an “NG” tube?
44. Barring complications, will I spend any time in ICU?
45. After surgery, how do you detect for leaks?
46. What are my odds of getting a UTI, bladder infection or yeast infection?
47. Can I meet the anesthesiologist ahead of time?
48. How soon will I be able to shower after surgery?
49. Because of a family history, can I get a Dexascan?
50. Will my nasty heartburn go away?
51. Can I get Lupus?
52. What do you think of BDP/DS, VBG?
53. When is the soonest I can be scheduled for surgery (after going thru the program)?
54. What are my odds of Adhesions?
55. What are my odds of a staple line breakdown?
56. Will I have a Greenfield?
57. Can I be given something non-narcotic (I don’t want morphine) like Toradol?
58. What about drinking alcohol?
59. How much common channel will I have?
60. How often will I need labs done?
61. If I am vomiting or nauseated after 3 weeks, what will you do for me?
62. Can I have my apron removed during surgery?
63. Do you transect the stomach or do you just put in a staple line?
64. What is the youngest person that you would perform this surgery on?
65. How long do I stay in recovery?
66. How long am I out of work for?
There were more, but I can't find the other sheet of paper...I have compiled this list of questions from many sources: books, other profiles, my own random thinking. If you want to know my Doctor’s answers to any of these questions, please feel free to email me. ONLY 47 MORE DAYS!!!
9/5/02 -- Thursday
I just got off the phone with the insurance company and right now, I am pending approval. I am just so tickled! I am down to 45 more days! :-)
9/18/02 -- Wednesday
OK, I am down to 34 days! I am beside myself with excitement!! It’s funny, now that I am so close; I'm finding it harder to do things. I've never had a problem getting up from the floor, chair, couch etc...but now, holy crap, it takes forever and when I do get up, I am typically out of breath. This can't come soon enough. It’s so cute, all my friends that know about this are so excited and they can't wait to visit me in the hospital. I've never really been in a hospital, so I am not sure how I feel about that. Oh, I got an email asking me to describe my experience with my stress test. I will do that but I want you to know that I'm sure what happened wasn't typical. Ok, here goes:
My echo stress test was performed at the Hoffman Heart Institute at St. Francis Hospital (where my surgery is being done), so I get there and I am told that they are running late. No big deal, I don't have school that night, so I wait. I'm finally called about 45 minutes later and I am taken to this room and I am told to take off all my clothes from the waist up. I was given a gown to put on and they lady said that she would be back in a few minutes. So I get changed and as soon as I picked up the gown, I knew that there were going to be problems. The gown was just thismuch too small. I am very well-endowed and I couldn't get it to close. So I turned the gown around and the lady came back into the room. As soon as she walks in she screeches that the gown is the wrong way. I tell her that it doesn't fit properly and that I am more comfortable with it this way. She tells me that it has to be open in the front so that they have easy access to my heart area. I then ask for a bigger gown. She tells me that they don't have any. So then I say in a smart ass voice, isn't this where all Dr. Barba's patients come? She says Yes. I'm like, look compared to some of his patients, I am small...if the gown doesn't properly fit me, its not going to for most of his patients. So we argue about this for a few more minutes and finally I turn the gown around. So, now I am standing in this room with everything hanging out and she starts using this "sandpaper" stuff on my skin so that she can attach the electrode things. Some of them have to go under your boob, so without saying a word to me, she grabs me and lifts it up. I am mortified and then the door opens and these 2 other women walk in. At this point, I have no privacy and certainly no dignity...that's when the loud, smelly farting starts. No, I wasn't the one doing the farting, the chick who was grabbing my boobs was. She was doing it and pretending like it wasn't happening. Talk about an uncomfortable situation.
So, once all the things are on, I asked her how they were going to keep the gown closed so that I could do the test. Her solution...she was going to tape the gown closed. I was like (at this point) whatever; as long as you don't use the silk tape...I am allergic to it. I can't have it on or near my skin. Wanna guess what type of tape this stupid bitch used? She taped it closed against my chest (the gown was closed) and then she taped the arm parts down RIGHT TO MY SKIN. So, not only am I having a reaction to the electrodes, but now I am having a reaction to the tape. She tells me not to worry because it will ONLY be on my skin for a short period of time.
So, the Doctor comes into the room and I start walking on this treadmill. Well, I am at the top speed (for this type of test) and his pager goes off. He walks out of the room and says 1 more minute and then I want you to get off and quickly get onto the table. I'm thinking, Ok, I can handle that. It takes him 5 minutes to come back and because he was the one performing the test the nurse kept me on the treadmill. I was thisclose to having an asthmas attack, when he FINALLY comes back in the room and then they check my heart.
The final outcome of all of this...My heart is fine. Had they simply asked me, I COULD HAVE TOLD THEM THAT!!!
I saw Doctor Lorenzo the next day and I told him what had happened...he told me that he would have a "chat" with the Doctor and the Heart Institute because this is not the way that they want their patients treated. Dr.s' Barba and Lorenzo are very concerned with making you feel comfortable and safe. They really do care about their patients.
So there's my story
9/18/02 -- Wednesday
I just got off the phone with my Doctor's office. I was just approved by my insurance company!!! My surgery will be October 21, 2002 at St. Francis Hospital & Medical Center. Now the real waiting starts!!!
9/24/02 -- Tuesday
Hi there...I have only 18 days till I have surgery. Its only 18 days because I have decided that weekends pass by much too quickly, so there is no real reason to count those days.
I feel so bad for my roommate...I had a small pre-surgery breakdown last night. I felt badly after because she is thin and doesn't understand what I am going thru. But I hope that my crisis is over and that I can move on...I've been thinking about the surgery so much. Everyday that passes I'm one day closer. I can't wait! Sometimes I wonder if this is the right thing to do. What if I go through all this trouble and I don't lose the weight? I'd be such a failure. This is the LAST resort. If this fails, I'm done. I can't even imagine how its gonna be the day of the surgery. Should I write letters to everyone I love just in case something goes wrong? I know that would make me so depressed. Maybe that would jinx me. I have no idea about anything right now.
I am very excited for my friend Lisa H (from Middletown), she is having surgery in 9 days (that is counting weekends) and I am so excited for her! If you can, drop her a line and wish her well.
If any of you all are going to Dr. Barba's support meeting tonight, I'll see you there
9/25/02 -- Wednesday
Thank you Jilly...That was such a sweet thing to post! Because I am not counting weekend and only work days, I have only 18 days. But, I only have 16.5 days left to work. I am taking the 17th & 18th off to get my school stuff in order. I have so many things to do and yet I can't get myself to do any of them. I really need to get my butt in gear and get some protein shakes...I have tried a few out and found out that I like the fruit flavors mixed with coordinating Crystal Light. But, I do like the chocolate mixed with a touch of S/F hot chocolate mixed with Lactaid milk. I can't wait for September to be over!!! Thanks for all the warm wishes!
10/1/02 -- Tuesday
So, here we are...October 1st. I technically have 20 calendar days until surgery. However I have decided that I am only going to count actually working days left, so...I now have 11.5 days left. I like that better. I had my follow-up Dr.'s appointment yesterday w/my sleep doctor. This was a good thing because I am not sleeping anymore and my CPAP machine isn't helping. So, as my Dr. and I were talking, we were also talking about surgery. He asked me when it was and how it was being done. When I told him that I decided to do it open he looked at me like I had six heads...we talked about it for like a 1/2 hr and went over the benefits of open vs. lap. So, I have changed my mind on the whole open thing...After I left my sleep doctors office, I headed to my surgeon’s office to see if I could change my way of surgery. Rosemary was wonderful, and I have been changed. My surgery date is still 10/21 and I am the 2nd surgery of the day. I have to be at the hospital at 8 am for my 10:30 am surgery. I am so excited! I think that I am so a bit less nervous
10/7/02 -- Monday
OK...so it’s Monday...only 7.5 working days left. I finally got 2 things crossed off of my to-do-before-surgery list. I have so much to do and just can't seem to get it done. But, I had a great weekend. On Saturday, I went with my roommate while she went to get a tattoo (which she didn't finish because she passed out and then pissed herself in front of everyone)...I was SOOOO wanting one! I also went and visited my friend Lisa, who had surgery on Thursday. She is doing great! She had open RNY. She should be coming home today. Then Sunday my roommate and I went to RI for a day trip. We drove to Middletown, Providence and the surrounding areas. Then we had my "Last Dinner" at the Cheesecake Factory. OMIGOD! They have the most amazing food! We took most of it home and we also took home pieces of cheesecake! I got key lime, Melissa got fresh strawberry and she brought Mike home original. Overall, it was a great weekend.
I can't believe that this is my last full week of work. Next week, I am only working until Wed. I wish that the 21st would hurry up and get here...I just want to start losing. My patience is wearing very thin!
10/14/02 -- Monday
This time next Monday, I will already be in surgery...I can't believe that it’s so close...it feels like a lifetime away, though! I want to thank everyone who is leaving me great notes of encouragement! It totally means a lot to me. I can't wait to be the source of inspiration for someone else! I am down to 2.5 work days left! Yeah! :-)
10/17/02 -- Thursday
Wow...I'm sitting here at my computer at work and I realize that as of 10:30 am, I am done working for the next couple of weeks. I can't believe that in 4 days, my life will be starting over. I can't believe that it’s finally here...I've waited for so long and it just doesn't seem real.
I can't thank you, those that have written or posted to me, enough...you have brought such inspiration to my life...and a very special thank you to JILLY!...for being such a great angel and friend. I will be sending you my information this weekend. I'm sure that I will write again before surgery
10/21/02 -- Monday
I can't believe that this is really happening...I am 4 hrs away from having surgery. I got up a few hrs ago and have been getting myself ready since...I have to jump into the shower and then wake up my roommate so that we can go. I'm not nervous, but I am a jumble of excitement! My roommate, Melissa, has been such a source of strength thru all of this and so hasn't Jilly. Without the 2 of you...I don't know what I would do. I really want to thank you. Thank you to all that have written me and offered your support, it means so much!
This will be my last post until I come home. I am taking a notebook with me so that I can write things down so that I remember them. I'll write soon.
10/21/02 -- Monday
Jess asked me to update her page with good info...... All I have right now is she was sched. for surgery at 10:45 this morning and figured she would be in recovery around 2. I didn’t call her because well I didn’t know where to call LOL ;O) Jess I’m thinking about you honey you did it!!!
10/29/02 -- Tuesday
Here's the blow-by-blow as I remember it.
I got to the hospital for 8:30am, and waited for them to call me into the "holding area". They called me and Melissa (roommate) and I went there...they had me get undressed and get onto the gurney. I did and they did all their stuff (bp, temp, etc...)
I waited there for a bit and then they took me to the other waiting area and that's where I waited to be taken into surgery. The Drs came to see me and then I was on my way to the OR. I remember joking with all the Dr.s and that was it.
I don't really remember much about the recovery room, but about 8 pm they took me to my room (room wasn't ready before that...). I was in pain and the morphine (because I am allergic to it!) wasn't helping. They (the nurses) needed to get that pad underneath me and they did it while I was screaming in pain and cursing at the nurses. I was pretty much out the rest of the night and I woke up feeling a bit better.
I did well and on my 3rd day (2nd day after surgery) I did my "blue test", basically, I drank an ounce of blue colored water and it didn't come out of my JP drain, so I got to start water.
I was supposed to go home on Thursday, but the hospital accidentally gave me full sugar Jell-O and I was so sick that they needed to give me 2 bags of anti-nausea meds and something to sleep so that I could feel better. I was doing well on Friday, decided to go home at 2:30. They gave me a double dose of oxicotton (sp?) and I felt like crap. But I went home (to my parents house) and have been doing better ever since. Today has been my best day.
I have to say that I had a hard time with the IV's. I pretty much have no veins and they kept blowing...needless to say, I have about 8 holes where the IV's were or where they were tried.
The 1st day I was questioning why I did this, but now I don't really think about it...I am just doing what I am supposed to.
11/1/02 -- Friday
I'm posting but I should be packing...the moving people are coming early tomorrow morning...I have a lifting and carrying weight limit (5 lbs) so I decided to spend the money and have a company move me. Anyway...
I went to the Dr. yesterday for my 1st checkup. I was told that I am doing fantastic and I was actually excited to get on the scale...I lost 17.3 lbs in 10 days. I am beside myself I am so happy. I also got to start mushy foods yesterday. I also found out that my pouch is less than 1 ounce...I can have almost all of 1 ounce but the Dr. said that it was a bit smaller than the standard. I am so worried about stretching my pouch that I am terrified to eat! I have tried mashed potatoes (1/2 oz.), 2 bits of yogurt (yuck! Normally I like yogurt, but I think that my tastes are changing), and string cheese (that worked well). I am mostly still just having liquids.
CONGRATS to Jilly, who has been approved for her plastic surgery! You Go Girl!
11/16/02 -- Saturday
Hi all! Things are going well...I am feeling better and better everyday. My only problem right now is that the scale has stopped moving, but my clothes are getting looser. Everyone is telling me that I am too scale obsessed but I don't think so.
I am progressing with my phases on my diet, I have now tried salmon (stayed down but gave me dry heaves), shrimp, really moist pork roast, and chicken. The only problem is that I am still eating too fast and I'm not sure how to slow down. One thing that I do really enjoy eating is the dole fruit cups. I buy it in extra light syrup and then drain and rinse the fruit to get rid of the extra sugar...its really yummy!
I got into a pair of jeans today that have been skin tight since I bought them. I spent the day pulling my pants up. What an incredible feeling!
It's late and I am going to bed, but I hope that I do better keeping this updated!
12/2/02 -- Monday
Hi All! Things are going well. My eating has improved and I am finding that most stuff is staying down. Thanksgiving was tough because I still can't hold a lot, but I found playing hostess was better than eating. I still have to remind myself to eat because I still don't get hungry. I think that I am starting to have a problem with head hunger. I am not physically hungry but I feel as though I want to munch on something. But it doesn't happen a lot, so hopefully I can nip it in the bud!
I had my 1 month check-up on 11/20/02 and as of that date I have lost 34.6 lbs. I was totally shocked! Never in my life did I believe that I could do something like that! That following Monday and Tuesday, I went to 2 support meetings. On Monday I went to Dr. Aranow's meeting and then on Tuesday I went to Dr. Barba's. That was a great meeting...I got to personally meet Peter H. It was a complete honor. I also talked to a wonderful woman named Karen. She is 6 months out and doing great! It’s so nice to go to these meetings and be a source of knowledge and inspiration for pre-ops. I love answering questions and even the personal ones don't bother me.
I joined a gym the week of Thanksgiving (Curves for Women in East Hartford) and feel better as I work out. I can't wait to get into shape...
12/19/02 -- Thursday
Hi there! I can't believe that there are only 5 shopping days left till Christmas. I guess that I can't believe how quickly this year has gone by. It seems as though I waited forever until October and then once surgery was done, time has been flying by warp-speed. I will be 2 months post-op on Sat. and it seems just like yesterday. I am down 50 lbs as of this past Sunday and when I go back to the Dr. on 1/30/03...I hope to have hit 60 lbs. I know that this is possible because I am working out and eating right. I have been using fitday.com to keep track of my intake and exercise and I seem to be doing well...I am also finding that I am a lot less emotional than right after surgery. I haven't really changed sizes yet (I think that it’s because I am short) but all my pants are falling off of me. I just wish that my boobs would get smaller, but according to my PS, that's not going to happen, so I have a date (in the future) with a scalpel! I hope that everyone is doing well and that you all have a great holiday season!
1/14/03 -- Tuesday
Wow! I can't believe that it’s been that long since I have updated. Since my last post I have dropped 2 sizes in pants (from a tight 24 to a VERY loose 20) and I have lost 18.80 inches (all over) and I am almost to my 2nd goal, which is to be under 200 lbs. I had a problem a few weeks ago, right after Christmas. My mom had to rush me to the ER because I had this blinding pain on my left side. Long story short (too late), it turned out to be kidney stones. My surgeon sent me to a specialist and that Dr. blasted them with lasers so that they would break up and I could pass them. I passed them and everything has been kosher since. I am having a problem with food though. I am not interested and it’s making it tough to eat. I get hungry (sometimes) but I don't want to be bothered with food. It’s funny because I have read over and over here how most people have problems with chicken, beef, pork or other dense protein. Well for me it’s quite the opposite. I cannot tolerate breads, macaroni, rice or anything else starchy. But I can eat meat like a pro. So weird.
I am still going to Curves and I so just ordered a bunch of new workout videos from eBay. I really want to work on tightening up my thighs/butt and arms. Right now I could care less about my stomach (I think that I have a hernia, so I see a TT somewhere in the future) but I don't want surgery on my arms or bottom half. I can't believe that I am going to be 3 months post op on the 21st of this month. I can't believe how quickly time has flown. I have to do better with updating my profile. Bye for now! :-)
1/16/03 -- Thursday
Ok, So I am having a problem...I don't think that I am losing weight. I KNOW that I am because the scale has dropped and my clothes are baggy, but I am simply not seeing it...and that has me all upset. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to others here, but I am losing so very slowly. I eat what I am supposed to and I get a bunch of exercise, but nothing is happening. I am so afraid that this tool isn't going to work for me. I want so badly to be successful. I'm still fat and to be honest, I don't feel any different. I go back to the Dr on the 30th for my 3 month checkup...I want to be down like 70 lbs, but I don't think that is going to happen. I am so very discouraged.
1/21/03 -- Tuesday
Well, today is my 3 month anniversary! I can't believe that it's here already...how amazing. Today is also the day that I get measured at the gym. Last month I'd lost 18.8 total inches (in the span of 1 month, 11/22/02 - 12/22/02) so I can't wait to see where I am...hopefully that will pull me out of this everlasting depression that I have sunk into. I kinda felt better last night because I went to a support meeting. I think part of the depression has to do with craving things that I can't tolerate. I would love to be able to eat a PB & J sandwich, but I can't tolerate bread...the same goes for macaroni. I miss it, but I like being thinner a lot more!!! I'll eventually pull thru this. **Good luck to my friend Brenda who had surgery today and to my friend Gail who goes in sometime soon**
1/29/03 -- Wednesday
Well, tomorrow is my 3 month check up...I just wish that it was in the morning instead of late afternoon...I tend to weigh more in the afternoon...I really hope that I have made it to at least -60 lbs...That’s my goal. Let's see, what else is going on? I went to a support meeting last night and I was shocked at the number of preops that there were...that is until Dr. Barba let us in on what's going on. You see, he was the chief of trauma @ St. Francis Hospital & Medical Center, so he was only operating (WLS) 2-3 times a week...he has since resigned (effective in June) from trauma and is now going to be doing WLS full time. That way he can help many more people and the waiting list won't be so daunting. He is such an amazing man. I was really lucky that he was my doctor. He saved my life. And it’s funny because at the time that I met him, I was so desperate to lose weight that I didn't think that my life was worth saving. Pretty sad, huh.
Oh, exciting news...I am now consistently into a size 18 on my bottom. My top however, is still a 22/24...it doesn't seem to want to go down. I wish that it would because it’s making me crazy, although, I do have to say that it’s nice that my boobs stick out further than my tummy! :-)
I have to thank Michelle Curran (Vitalady) for all the help that she has given me regarding my protein and calcium intake. She helped me find calcium that I could take and was very patient with me....Thanks again Michelle.
I will update after my doctors appointment...
2/3/03 -- Monday
So, I went to the Dr. on Thursday and I have great news! I am now down 66.9 lbs in 3 months!!! I am so excited! Things have been going really good and I now have so much energy! I think that the protein shakes are helping with that too. I can't wait until I hear back from the Dr. about my blood that was taken, because I was concerned that I am still anemic.
I feel kinda guilty about all my good news when there was such a tragic event this weekend. I work for a company that produces part of the space suits and this was the topic of conversation all day. My heart goes out to their families.
I don't have to go back to the Dr. until April, which will be for my 6 month checkup. I can't believe that in 2 1/2 short weeks, I will be 4 months post op. Time is going by so quickly!
I went on Thursday to visit former co-workers (from the other division that I worked at) and it was nice to see them all. They were surprised at how I looked. I still can't tell, but it was nice to hear others tell me how nice I looked. :-)
2/5/03 -- Wednesday
I finally noticed that I have lost some weight. Ok, I know that this sounds silly...but I haven't noticed that I've dropped close to 70 lbs. Yes, my clothes are baggy and are hanging off of me, but I couldn't see the difference in my face/body. Last night I did. I was in the bathroom and I happened to look into the mirror, and didn't recognize the person staring back at me...it took a few seconds to realize that it WAS me! I have also noticed how nasty my skin is getting. My belly is all wrinkly and my legs, oh god are they awful! I totally look better with clothes ON! I was on a plateau for awhile and now the weight is just falling off again, I think that it has something to do with me upping my protein! I haven't been to the gym in like a week & a half, because of school, but now that that part of school is over, I can start again and hopefully do something about this skin. My little brother is getting married on July 4, 2003 and I want to make sure that I look good. Ok, I think that I am done babbling for today! Ciao...
2/19/03 -- Wednesday
Well, today has been and interesting day. I found out that someone that I thought was one of my closest friends turned out to be a backstabbing little wh*re. Well, I've always known that she was a whore, but I didn't know that she was of the backstabbing nature. You know what though, I'm not really all that upset about it, in fact, I'm glad that it happened because since I had surgery she has been jealous of me and she's truly not worth my time. She is the type of person that blames all her problems on her parents or siblings without ever looking into the mirror. Now, I'm not saying that I am perfect (far from it) but I would never pull the kind of shit that she is pulling. Whatever. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders...I feel about 140 lbs lighter! :-) LOL Moving on...I am at the lowest that I have been in many years. I can shop at Old Navy again and I am NOT wearing the largest size in the store or wearing men's clothes. It’s amazing! :-) I was even able to go to Wal-Mart and buy a skirt in a size 16 from a t i g h t 24. I am down almost 75 lbs and this Friday is my 4 month anniversary. I think that I doing ok! :-) I finally have a reason to be proud of myself! I am a bit grossed out by my inner thighs, but I am working on that and if worse comes to worse there is always the PS option. Well, I'm off to class, but I'll update soon. :-)
2/28/03 -- Friday
Hi there! A friend of mine is having surgery this coming Monday and I was hoping that everyone could drop by her profile and wish her luck...Kathy M in Wethersfield, CT. Good Luck, hon. and I will see you Tuesday.
Well, let’s see what's going on. I met a boy and don't want to jinx it by saying too much. So enough about that! :-) I went shopping last night and bought a size 16 skirt and 6 shirts 3 of them (including a zip-up sweatshirt) are size large. They fit ok but are really tight on my boobs...those damn things aren't shrinking! Oh well...I knew that I was going to have some PS done. I feel great, but I found out today that I cannot eat bacon. I tried to eat the insides out of a BLT grinder and got wicked sick! So no more of that for me.
I will say, I heard this before surgery, but didn't give too much thought to it...you will lose friends after surgery...be prepared to deal with it. Although for me, it hasn't been that hard...you WILL find out who your true friends are. In fact, I am actually reuniting with old friends...Hi Carmen!
I have been seriously thinking about chopping off all of my hair...the thing is, I like it long, but I also like it short. I just don't know what to do. :-)
Enough babble...I hit 4 months and I have also hit about 75 lbs. I am going to weigh myself on Tuesday on my Docs scale. Wish me luck! Ciao
3/3/03 -- Monday
I thought that the date was a lucky type number so I wanted to post here. I got on the scale this morning and was shocked to see that I was @ 206. I am 7 lbs away from FINALLY being under 200! I can't wait. Although, the last couple of days, my eating/dumping has been out of control. I'm not eating anything different, nor am I eating sugar. I dumped on my salad dressing today. I use this salad dressing everyday. I'm tired of feeling yucky. Last night I dumped on coffee-flavored soy milk. My fear of eating is starting again.
My friend Kathy had her surgery today...I am going to see her tomorrow and I am also going to weigh on my Dr.s scale. I hope its even lower than 206!!! I think that the reason that its dropping so fast is because of my protein shakes. I have at least 2 a day and that covers me for all of my daily protein and then if I eat anything with protein, its a bonus!
I am getting frusterated with eDiets. Mostly everyone there thinks that they are an expert on WLS and they feel the need to tell me that I am wrong for having done this. I laugh because I can't tell you how HAPPY I am that I did this. Except for a few times that 1st month, I haven't regretted this for a moment. Don't get me wrong, I am still MO and have a long way to go (81 lbs) but I'm only 4 months out and I think that I can do this. No, I know that I can do this...and this site continues to help me on a daily basis. Thank you to all my AMOS friends. Ciao!
3/12/03 -- Wednesday
Hi all! So an update on my weight...when I went to the Dr. last week, I was down to 205.8...as of this morning I am down to 202.0...making that only 3 FREAKING POUNDS away from FINALLY being under 200!!! I am so siked...I can't wait to hit that and then my next big goal is to hit my 100 lb mark. I never would have thought that it would happen this fast.
OK -- a vent. I hate my English teacher...actually so does the whole class. We started out with 31 students and as of last night we were down to 11. We've only had 6 classes...in fact its so bad that we 5 of us met with the Dean of the English department this afternoon. He said that he was going to try and fix the situation. I truly hope that he does because this is the only class standing in my way of my AS in criminal justice. OK -- vent over.
Let's see what else is going on? Tomorrow I am due to get my new shipment of protein powder from Michelle (Vitalady)...good thing too because I finished the last of it today. I don't know what I am going to do without my morning shake. :-)
Well, enough babble, I am off to Spanish class. Hasta Lavesta!
3/17/03 -- Monday
Today is the best day ever! I weighed in this morning at 198.3. I never thought that I would be under 200 lbs again! This has totally made my week. Its funny because the other day I got the sweetest card from my friend Lisa saying that by the time that you get this, you should be at 199. Well, when I got it, I was still at 201...but not anymore! :-) I am no longer morbidly obese, now I am just obese. I was checking my BMI the other day and I will have to get down to 142 to be considered overweight...I've got a hella long way to go. This Friday will be my 5 month anniversary...I can't believe that it has gone by so quickly. Its also Spring Break this week. I'm not going anywhere, but that's OK because I found out Friday that in August my best friend (Hi Lauralyn!) and I are going to Vegas!! I will get to be there for my birthday! I can't wait! Then in November we are spending a long weekend in Boston! She hasn't seen me since 2001 because she moved to Fl. I can't wait to surprise her with my new look!!! I hope that everyone has a great day and just think...Spring is only 4 days away! :-)
4/3/03 -- Thursday
Wow, so much has happened in the 17 days since I posted. On 3/27/03, I lost my beloved grandfather. I can't begin to tell you how lost I feel without him...see, my grandmother passed away on 4/7/02 and he has been super lonely without her. I took him out to dinner on 3/10 and on 3/11 he was in the hospital...in ICU. He never regained consiousness and he took his last breath at 3:58 am on Wed. Its amazing what the grief process does to weight loss. I went to the Dr. to get weighed on 3/25 and I was 198.8 and as of Tuesday morning (4/1/03) I am down to 191.0...amazing. Part of it was because I was so upset that I couldn't keep anything down. But that is starting to get better. It was shocking for some of my family and friends who haven't seen me since before surgery...I look like a completely different person...Well, I just wanted to check in and let you all know that I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth, I'm just sad.
4/17/03 -- Thursday
Wow, I guess its been a few days since I last had anything to say. What can I say about my weight other than I am on a plateau from hell. I am still bouncing between 191 and 193. I have 7 lbs left until I reach -100 lbs. My 6th month anniversary (I still can't believe it) is Monday and my appointment with Dr. Barba is the 29th...I am hoping that I make it by then. I am pretty consistently wearing size 14 for skirts, 16 for pants and XL and some L for tops. I am really happy so far with the weightloss, but I have to say that I am not at the point yet where I can say that I'd be happy if I never lost another pound. I've still got about 60 lbs to go...
I just wanted to drop in and say hello and I promise that I'm gonna post my pictures (well, at least my before picture) soon...its nice to put a face with a name and a story. I hope everyone has a nice Holiday...Ciao
4/21/03 -- Monday
Today is my 6 month anniversary!!! I can't believe how quickly time is flying...this time 6 months ago, I was in the recovery room, high as a kite and trying to stop the nurse from giving me the morphine that I am allergic to! I can't believe how different yet the same my life is. I am down 94 lbs (yes, the scale FINALLY moved!). Today I am wearing a size 12 Gap skirt and it fits, not tight, not loose, but comfortable. I can pretty much eat what I want, within reason. Pasta and I are still not friends not because it doesn't agree with me (it finally does) but because I tend to overeat on that particular food. I love to exercise...who would have thought that I would be going to the gym everyday after work and then at night (after school) taking my dogs for a 2 mile walk? I am starting to understand what being happy is all about. I finally have a relationship with my father (although, it does bug me that its because of my weight loss and not because of anything else) but hey, I'll take whatever I can get! :=) I go back to the Dr on the 29th so I am hoping that I make my -100lb goal...keep your fingers crossed! Good luck to everyone that is on their WLS journey. It speeds by in the blink of an eye.
5/5/03 -- Monday
Happy Cinco de Mayo! Well, I never made it to my 6 month check-up because my Dr. was out of the office, but I am going at the end of this month...no biggie.
Not much has changed since I last wrote other than I've dropped a few more lbs, I got an amazing part time job (which may turn into full time because I hate my current boss) and I am comfortably wearing size 14 pants. I haven't been a size 14 in almost forever! :-) Its nice to see the reactions of people who haven't seen me in awhile. I went and visited friends on Sat. who hadn't seen me since right after surgery (they saw me in the hospital) and they were floored! Not to mention that I cut ll 3/4 inches of my hair off. They have never seen it this short...it was a really nice visit. Oh yeah, I found a dress for my brother's wedding. I found it at a Jessica McClintock store. Its black satin that has a halter neckline and its fitted thru the bust and then flares out (like a ballroom skirt) and touches the top of my feet. I really want to get it shortened to tea-length but I'm not sure. Because the wedding is in July, more likely than not, I'm going to have to have it altered...because it will be too big.
I sometimes just shake my head because of all the changes that are going on. I am amazed that this is my life. Never in a million years pre-op would I have been able to handle this part time job because it is so physically demanding. I am so proud of myself. I do understand however, how people get "distanced" from their surgery...the further that I get out, the more I am living life and not thinking about surgery. Don't get me wrong, I am forever grateful that I was able to have surgery, but I finally realize that the surgery was a tool to HELP me and that I am the one doing the work. And for that, I am so proud. I hope everyone is doing well with their journey and if I can help in any way...please contact me.
5/14/03 -- Wed.
So, ok...I went to the Dr yesterday for my 6 month check-up and drum roll please...I have lost a total of 102.4 lbs!!!! It took my 6 months and almost 3 weeks to do it, but I made the goal that I set for myself. There is a problem, however, it seems that I am not eating enough and my doc wants to do a dilation because I am not keeping much of anything down...no big deal and if that will help me to eat a bit more, that's cool. Plus, they can tell me what my pouch looks like. Hopefully this will allow me to eat at least 3/4 of a cup of food. Right now I'm not much past 1/2 cup and my doc says that's why my weight loss has been so slow lately. I'm just not taking in enough.
So, I am also now planning on posting my before picture. I finally picked one out and now I just have to scan it on here. Its from the morning of surgery and it a truly horrifying picture! I hope that everyone out there is doing well and if anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask! Ciao.
5/21/03 - Wed.
Well, today is my 7th month anniversary...never in my life did I think that I would get to this point...I am 106 lbs lighter and I have so much more engery! I had my dilatation on Friday the 16th and it went well. The meds made me horribly sick, but that didn't surprise me! I hadn't tested it until yesterday when my co-workers went to Subway for lunch. I asked them to bring me back a 6 in. turkery & cheese on white w/lettuce, tomato, pickles, green peppers and a touch of mayo. I was able to eat half of the 6 in (including bread) and I didn't want to throw up!!! I was so happy. Subway was my very favorite "fast" food and to know that I can (every once in a while) eat there made me feel so much more "normal" and thus, happy. I have a job interview tomorrow (my 1st since surgery) and I feel very confident. I am waiting to change sizes again because right now I am wearing a 12 in skirts and a 14 in pants. Although, I was told this morning that all my clothes are too big for me...I hope that everyone is having a good week and if you are pre-op, keep you chin up...your day will come as well. :-) Ciao!
6/6/03 - Friday
Today is my niece, Morgan's, 3rd birthday! :-) So, I am a bit past 7 months and its been amazing! I am eating more(but still not hitting my 1 cup of food per meal yet...) and a bit more varity of foods as well. I am down to 171 which is a loss of about 111 lbs...102 of them was lost in 6 months. I hope to keep this pace up to make it to my 1st goal of 128 (I have about 47-48 lbs to go)...eventually I'd love to see 113 but if I don't I won't be heartbroken. My life is changing and I've learned that I am better equipped for it. I no longer turn to food as a comfort...I now work extra hours at my PT job so make myself feel better...its a very physically demanding job that 7 months ago I would not have been able to do. I am proud that I can do it and in fact, I have been told that this is the perfect job for me...which is good because I am getting laid-off on 6/13 from my full time job that I have been at for almost 5 yrs. But the funny thing is, is that I am not upset or anything. I think that this will force my hand to find an even better FT job. I actually hate it here and I'm glad that they are laying me off...I hate it but was too afraid to quit and make a change...now I have to and I am really excited! :-) I hope that everyone is doing well and I'm down to 66m days till I leave for Vegas and see my best friend who I have not seen since 2001. We are meeting in the Atlanta airport and I wonder if she is going to be able to find me...everyone tells me that I look so different... Ciao for now!
6/11/03 -- Wed.
I have to say that I had the most interesting weekend since surgery! I went shopping on Saturday and bought a size Lrg summer sweater from American Eagle...its fitted and the neckline dips really far down...all the guys at work commented about it. :-) I also bought a SIZE 10 (!) pair of jeans from Old Navy...never did I think that would be possible. Then Sat night my friend Carmen and I went out to see a band play at this bar...to make a very long story a bit shorter, this guy that I used to date 6 yrs ago walked in...we ended up talking and all he kept saying was "Wow, look at you!" But it was awesome when he said "I always thought that you were attractive, but now you are HOT!" He totally made my night :-) He took my cell phone number and for the past couple of days, we have been playing phone tag. Hopefully this weekend he and I can hook up. I am concerned about something...how
