Kristi U.
10/12/11
Time for the rest of the story.....Well, I more or less quit posting within a short time of having had my surgury. Life got pretty screwed up for awhile there. About 10 days post op my dh moved out, he was gone for about 3 days, begged to come back, and i let him. No problem. When he left, i told him that he didn't need to stay out of sympathy for me, that i would be just fine. About a month went by and i had my doubts as to his commitment to our marriage, needless to say, i actually caught him with the other woman. That pretty much did it for me. In a few short hours i had the bank accounts cleaned out, as well as his clothes out of the house, and trip to the lawyer was done also, i didn't waste anytime at all. He then stayed gone about a month or so, and yet again I took him back. I remember praying to God to bring him back to me. He did, just not all of him, his heart was not in it. We tried hard to reconcile. Went on a trip to Mexico, which was fun, but i must say, would have been more fun without him.
Three months to the day of my having had my RNY, I ended up having another surgury. One of my ovaries burst more or less. This time they had to cut me open, and let me tell you, recovery from this was way tougher than gastric bypass. Needless to say I was still losing weight, walking, getting used to the new me.
While we were in Mexico, my daughter was spending the summer in Texas, it was now time to go get her. I was still recovering from my 2nd surg, so it was a long drive down there. While i was gone, talked to the husband alot on the phone, by the time I was on my way home it was decided we would get divorced. He would live downstairs in our house, and i would be upstairs. He was still dating the other woman all along. Needless to say, our divorce was done by the end of Sept 2005. The story gets kinda ugly for awhile, but I moved out on the day of divorce, bought a new house, and I had just started seeing this new guy a few weeks before the divorce.
The new boyfriend helped me move, and let me stay at his house till i closed on my new one. Shelby, my daughter and I started alll over again.
This is about the time I learned how to live again and started enjoying life. Weight loss was going well, me and the boyfriend were having a ball together, and me and my daughter were having issues. She wasn't to fond of mom having a boyfriend. At the time, Dad was still in her life, as was his new wife. Yes, thats right, him and the woman he was seeing moved in together the day after our divorce and were married within a few weeks. Well, she played my daughter and x pretty good, bought her all kinds of clothes and took her to do all kinds of fun things. I couldn't nor would i compete with spending money to buy her love.
Rob, my new boyfriend , more or less moved in. He still had his own place,but stayed at my house most of the time. In just a few short months, by January,we became engaged, and went to Jamacia. Had a super time. So fast forward, that was Jan 2006, we got married in Sept 2007.
Rob and Shelby eventually learned to get along. She was becoming a teenager and was happy to see me happy. We had a beautiful wedding. It was my 3trd time down the isle and Robs first. My daughter was my maid of honor,and I told my dad that I thought i knew my way and he wouldn't have to "give me away" again.
Life has been good since then, I lost all the way down to about 150-155lbs. All for a day it seemed like. I stabled out at around 160-165 and stayed there for the first couple of years. Rob and I went out alot, and Miller Lite became a good friend to me, not so much really, but we were having fun.
About 3 years ago I decided I needed to lose a few pounds, as my new "skinny" clothes wasn't fitting any longer. So I cut back on the beer, switched to Miller 64, watched what i ate, and got back to normal again. That was the last time I did anything real productive with my weight loss. Over time, I was able to eat just about anything, sweets included. Bad girl.
2 years ago,we decided to build our own house. That kept us busy from November of 2009 till, well, seems like now actually. We moved in the new house in May of 2010. It was in kind of a hurry, and not exactly finished. I put my house on the market, and it sold within a week. Leaving us in a big hurry to get out and into the new place.
We moved out into the country onto 7 acres with timber and a pond. It was my husband Robs family farm, or a very small part of it. We put up a very untraditional house. It is actually a pole barn by Wick. I designed it from top to bottom. We had a builder put up the shell, and we did most of the rest. At least the construction part, we hired an electrician and a plumber to do the duct work, and plumbing. We did all the framing, drywall, paint, and trim. I learned a ton during this time. I worked out there at that house freezing my butt off everyday that winter. I framed up walls by myself, learned how to use a nail gun without giving myself any new piercings. Ya, it was quite the experience.
9/29/2011
Wow, what to say. I just got done reading my post from 2005, Life sure has changed since then. Was very enlightening to go down memory lane. After my surg i did manage to go from almost 300# down to 150ish. Loved it
4/22/05 (this ia a post I made today) Good Morning,
Well, to much time on my hands to think. Last night I confronted my husband about where our marriage was heading. And needless to say, he is moving out tonight. He only stayed with me this long to get me through the surgery. I think he was planning on being here until I returned to work, but I just moved up the date by a month. Why prolong the inevitable?
The sad thing is, I love him so!! We don't fight, always thought we had the perfect marriage. But I guess he fell out of love, if thats possible. I keep the saying in my head that "If you love something, set it free, If it comes back to you it was yours, if not, it never was." I don't think he'll come back, but I told him the door was still open and not to let pride get in his way of coming back and trying to make things work.
I did get on my scales in the middle of the night. Kinda disappointing really. Only lost 3 lbs since surgery according to my scales. But I had lost 10 the week before on the
I'm trying really hard to keep my spirits and my attitude in a good place. It is definitely a challenge. Please keep me and my daughter in your prayers as we go through this difficult time. Thank all of you for all that you do.
Kristi
4/20/05, Well, I am now 6 days postop. Can't believe it is finally over with and time to move on to the next stage. My surgery was 4/14/05. It was done lap RNY by Dr Rossi at OSF in Peoria, IL. I couldn't have asked for better care than what I got there. I went into surgery around 12 or so and got to my room around 4pm. No drains or NG tube. I was told surgery went text book classic/perfect. Big sigh of relief there. They had me on a morphine PCA pump and that was it. I would say my pain stayed at a steady 3 or so. It really wasn't as bad as I had anticipated, but then, I'm really not sure what I expected. I know that I definitely feared for the worse.
I feel like God answered all my prayers and everyone elses for me also. And I am so thankful to Him for having done so. I now have a second chance to have the wonderful life I think everyone is meant to have.
My husband was with the all the first day and left about 6 pm that night to take care of our daughter at home. He almost seemed like the caring loving man that I married. I just wish I knew if he felt that way all the time. He has been helpful since I came home from the hospital, but I try to do everything myself pretty muchily. I am home all day by myself, and there is no one here to do it for me then, so I have to be able to do it myself or not at all.
I went home on Saturday afternoon. Was glad to get home, but things were much more difficult. I found out how a beached whale or a turtle on its back must feel. First thing I did when I got home was to go lay down in bed and take a nap. I had a very very difficult time getting out of bed by myself. It really scared me. Husband was getting my pain meds filled at Walmart, and hadn't gotten back yet. Sometime during the night my bowels finally decided to kick in and start working. I was very relieved when that happened, but wiping was yet another challenge. And ontop of all that, aunt Flo decided it was time to show up. I had heard that the surgery would bring on ones period, but wasn't sure, so now I know it does. Oh well, may as well get it over with now, then next week, will fill better all around hopefull. By Sunday night I was able to get out of bed with some work, but at least I felt confident I could do it by myself.
Monday was my first day home alone. It actaully went pretty well. I switched to full liquids and worked really hard at getting all my fluids in.
Tuesdays, was my worst day so far. I attempted to sleep last night with no pain meds, tossed and turned, so I took some in middle of night, still couldn't sleep. In the morning after I got Shelby off to school, I finally fell asleep in my recliner till about 10am, best sleep since going to bed night before. But today, I had lots of back pain, and felt extermely bloated. I didn't get all my fluid in. I tried. Was in a crappy mood, hurting, and tired I guess.
Wed, what a difference a good nights sleep makes. I feel so much better today. Back still hurts alittle, but maybe not as bad. I actually did a load of laundry, didn't pick up the basket, but scooted it on the floor. I made the bed too. It doesn't take much to tire me out though, but I sit and rest after each so I'm taking it easy and trying not to do to much.
Can't wait for tomorrow to see if I've lost any weight.
4/12/05, I've copied and pasted a response that I gave to someone on our IL board. things are going good, this is day 5 of the liquid diet. 2 more days, can't wait. And thanks to all who have posted on my surgery page and have given all the kind words of encouragement and support, they mean so much...
Hi Sherri
You are soooo not alone. I think everyone battled at some point on whether or not to do this. It is a big decision. I know that for me the last 6 months were really tough. Looking back now, I can see that I went through a terrrible depression. That is something I had never done before. When i first talked to the doctor about it, he totally agreed that it would be a good thing for me to have done, and that is what got the ball rolling for me. I really don't have very many co-morbities yet, but given time, they would have all showed up.. My biggest problem is arthritis in knees and feet. all due to being overweight. When the pain for this began, I became unable to be as active as I wanted to be, going up and down stairs became almost impossible for awhile. then i found out that in order to have the surgery you need to quit smoking, so in Oct I did that, by December, I was not a happy camper at all anymore. So much so that my Husband looked elsewhere for compionship and some of my freinds quit hanging around me. they said I had changed and that i was very "negative". At the time, I couldn't see it, but now I can.
I am 2 days away from having this life changing, altering surgery. Yes, I'm scared, who wouldn't be. but i've come to terms with it, and know that God is the only one who will decide when it is my time to go. I work in a hospital as a respiratory therapist, and I take care of the "horror" stories that you may have heard about. So I have first hand experience and knowledge of what can happen. But I also see all the good and life saving things that this surgery brings to so many, it changes the quality of our life dramatically, at least that is my hope. I'm tired of being restricted by my weight, I want to live life to its fullest!!! Being on the sidelines is getting old. I'm out of my "depression" , is time to open a new door in my life, quit feeling sorry for myself and get on with LIVING.
Love you all, please keep me in your prayers this week as I journey over to the "losing" side of life.
Kristi
4/9/05 Back again, actually I needed to finish what i was writing about yesterday. Got distracted, so now I'm back to update some more. Well, today is the end of the 3trd day of my liquid diet. So far so good. I think I'm starting to get somewhat emotional. In the last 24 hrs I think i've started crying at least 3 times now. I'm terribly afraid of dying during this ordeal. I suppose that is a normal thought, or maybe not. I know I'm gambling with my future. But, I also tell myself that I'm in good health for now, and that is a big huge plus in my favor. So many people are unable to say that when they have surgery. I keep thinking this time next week, hopefully i'll be on my way back home to recover and start my new life. I keep telling myself that this is going to be one hellof a ride, and how much i'm looking forward to all the things that will change with the weight loss. I know there will be good days and probably a fair amount of bad ones also. I've tried to prepare my family as best I can with all the things i've learned on the site and the many others i've visited. For them to expect the mood changes, extra hormones, vomiting, lack of appetite, and the need for all the protein. You name it, I think we've talked about it at some point in the last 6 months. I just hope my DH can be as supportive of me in this endeavor as he has been in the past. Part of me is so afraid that after I'm recovered he will be leaving. But then he talks about our future together also. At this point I'm just waiting to see what happens and hoping that it is all good. He is such a huge part of my life, and I have a very hard time imaging living a life that didn't have him in it. I just want both of us to be happy, preferably with one another!! Life is so valuable, it has taken me many years to appreciate that fact, and at this point I want nothing more than to go on living life to its most full potential. Now i've begun to ramble, oh well, go figure. Until next time...
4/8/05 As usual, it has been along time since I updated. I love this web site, but i'm terrible about keeping this current. Today is the 2nd day of my liquid diet. Have to do it for 7 days pre-op. Surgery is scheduled for next week, April 14th. I can't wait!! Since the last update, life for me has improved somewhat. My husband has seen the changes in me, and says i'm more like my old self again. Our problems are starting to resolve themselves. I feel confident that he still loves me, although sometimes I know he battles with what he has done to our relationship, and I pray that he finds his way back to me completely.
2/23/05 What a day it has been. As usual, i'm terrible about posting here. I love to read everyone elses, but tend to forget to do my own.
So a brief summory of the last 2 months... I had my Phych eval on Jan 26. It went well, liked the doctor. I then patiently waited to hear back. After about 3 weeks, I started making some phone calls. I figured enough time had passed and it was time to see what the hold up was. I found out. The phych office was having some difficulties getting the report typed up. They had a few out on medical leave, yada yada...
So i gave them another week, called again, that was this past monday, same excuse, called again today, guess what, they were faxing it to the doctors office as we spoke. About time!!! Well anyway, shortly after that i get a phone call from the surgeons office, they wanted to set up the surgery. So we got out the calendar, and April 14, 2005 is my date. I go in for testing on March 18, and then see the surgeon with my husband on March 29.
I'm scared and oh so happy at the same time. I literally cried tears. I hope they were tears of joy and not fear. I've prayed to God to guide me in the right answers. I find myself turning to him alot lately, about many things. I have been so wrapped up in this entire surgery process. I have come to not like me very much, and thus, I think my family has begun to suffer because of it. My husband gave me a huge reality check the other day. Needless to say, I need to get a grip, and take control of my life again. Quit feeling sorry for myself and sitting around the house feeding my sorrows. Regardless of how things end up between he and I, I need to do what is necessary to make ME happy. And if I can find happiness and love within myself again, I will be able to share that with those around me. I can't make him stay with me, I can only be the best person I know how to be, and if he can't love me for that, then maybe it is time for us to go our seperate ways. Right now, I know there is still hope!!! I can't imagine my life without him, but, I am a survivor, and I will make it through this trial, along with this surgery and whatever other hurdles are put in my path. I have to trust in God and myself to lead me in the right direction.
12/15/04 Yesterday I finally saw the surgeon. Dr. Rossi of the Peoria Surgical Group will be doing my surgury if all goes as planned. He was very easy to deal with. The people in the office were also ok. I had heard some horror stories about a receptionist, but she is either no longer there or has had an attitude change, because everyone was quite pleasant. I went into the appointment with a long list of questions, which Dr.Rossi answered all of them. I feel like he will do a good job, and he seems to think that there is no reason why things should not go well for me. Now I have to wait for an appointment to be scheduled for my pych eval. should know something about that by next week. Or at least that is how long i will give them to contact me before i start calling on them.
It has been quite awhile since I last updated. I go to the web site everyday and check the message boards. Love to look at the profiles, and every once in awhile i will throw my 2 cents worth in.
Attended another support group meeting last week. Very inspirational. Have to plan on attending more in the future. Have managed to stay smoke free since I quit on Oct 21. Major accomplishment there. The down side...I have gained 15lbs. That really sucks. But, I got a new tread mill, so it is time to start exercising. I hate the thought of "dieting" , so i will just exercise instead, and drink lots of water. I'm sure the rest will fall into place if i can start with those 2 things for now.
Looking forward to the holidays, 10 more days.
11/09/04 Today is going to be a great day.. I hope. Worked all weekend and Monday night I attended the $495 class that is needed to go forward with the surgury process. After class they give you a business card telling you which surgeon you are scheduled to see and when. My appointment is Dec 14th 2004. Can't wait. Still a pretty scary thing, but I try to keep things in perspective.
I couldn't believe some of the things that were asked at the class. I guess I just assume everyone wants to be informed. but I guess that is not the case. I have spent hours looking up stuff in regards to this surgury.
I work in a hospital and I see the "cases that go bad" I have seen people that die from this surgury. It does scare me. I spent time reading the "unexpected, and the memorials" on this site. I hate to hear about these things, but they do happen. I feel like I am being a real hard ass about this. But look at us.. we are the "morbidly obese". Complications are a major possiblity for any surgury that we might have to have. And with our increased weight, we also have increased health problems, this things alone put us at higher risk for complications. But, on the otherside of that coin... what are the risks for us if we continue to live in the "obese" world that we are in. I've looked these things up too... I'm ready to take my chances in having a much healthier life. I want to enjoy my life, my daughter, and hopefully grandkids one day. I want to be apart of life, instead of sitting on the outskirts of it, watching it go by. Not anymore.
The pep talks we give ourselves. Keeps us closer to sanity i guess. Well enough for today. Good luck to all of you on the boards who have an upcoming surgury scheduled.
11/3/04 Well what a week!! Bush Won, way to go!!! Aside from that, I called the insurance company, and they approved my referal to a WL surgeon!!! Well, at least they have approved 2 visits to start with. Next week Monday I go to the informational seminar, from there i will be able to schedule my first visit with the surgeon. One more step forward!!
10/25/04 Hello again. Well, made it through the weekend. worked 36 hrs. It is over for a few days. I quit smoking last week Thurs the 22 of Oct. So far so good, many temptations, but hanging in there. Today by far the worst yet. Dealing with Dr and ins companies. Well, Dr office said get 5 yrs of medical records showing that I've had a BMI > than 40 for all that time, but yet they also want proof of diets. Well, when i diet my BMI does drop below 40, only to return again of course. If i could successfully lose weight and keep it off, I wouldn't be calling them in the first place. Duhh!!
I do have 10 yrs of dr visit with my OBGYN dr, and weighed in every 3 months during that time, (was receiveing depo shots) and so I would think that is good documentation of all my yo-yo weight loss/gain. So tomorrow I'm off to get my medical records released to me. Just trying to dot my "i's" and cross all my "t's" . Thanks to all who have responded to any of my posting, it helps. God bless u all, I can relate to all the time and frustration some have gone through to get to the "losing" side of life.
10/22/04 Hello, just want to start by saying that i enjoy this web site tremendously and have spent many hours looking through it since last week. While reading through the journals I continually find myself saying "that is me" And I look at the before and after pictures wishing "that was me". My story is much the same as most peoples on here. I currently weigh around 265, depending on what day it is i guess, it seems like i can just look at food and next thing u know, it is on me. I've always been extremely scared of this surgury, I work in a hospital, I'm a respiratory therapist, and see many of these surguries that have gone extremely bad. But then I also have to remind myself that these people were non-compliant with pre-op orders or there postop orders. But after reading these pages, and being so terribly disgusted with failing at yet another diet, I have decided that surgury is the answer for me as well. My decision was made especially easy when i discovered that my insurance does pay if i have a referal from my primary physician stating that i need to have it. Well, no problem there. Already have my referal as of Monday, 10/18/04. So, my next step is the "bod-pod" measurement which is scheduled next wed, then i musht spend $495 for a "nutritional/educationa seminar" which i will be attending the next week. After that I am told I can schedule appointment with surgeon, then do pschy eval, then submitt to insurance for approval, then after all that, hopefully i will be able to set a surgury date. sounds like a long haul!!! But a journey well worth the efforts. Enough for today.. Have a nice weekend everyone, I'm spending mine at work.
