Question:
4.5 wks post-op and I feel like such a loser...not in the good way, either!
I'm 4.5 weeks post-op and feel like such a failure. I've only lost 20 lbs (been going back and forth on the same 2-3 lbs.), and I know I'm not working the tool as well as I should, BUT...i'm still so discouraged. I see so many others who lose at least 30 lbs. the first month, but i feel that it may be because i had a proximal open RNY. The surgeon I chose was the only one in our area (and a really good one, too), but he ONLY does proximal, so i really didn't have a choice. i'm a lightweight as well (starting out at 227, 5'1", 43 BMI), and I know that plays a role, but i see other lightweights losing more than I am and it makes me upset. Plus, the amount i can eat at one time really tends to fluctuate: sometimes i surprise myself with how much i can eat, and other times it only takes 5 bites of something else before i'm TOO full and have to make a hasty "withdrawal" at the nearest toilet. i guess what i'm rambling on and on about it i didn't think i'd have to buckle down and begin exercising in order to lose weight...especially when i'm only consuming anywhere from 400-800 calories a day and my body needs only 1600+ calories per day at it's resting basal metabolic rate to maintain my weight. HOW CAN I NOT BE LOSING WEIGHT??? I guess i don't always buy the "starvation mode" theory --- look at the people in third world countries who get about the same calories a day and how skinny THEY are!?! And i'm not losing clothing sizes or inches, either. i am fitting loosely into the same clothing size i went to the hospital in, and the pictures i took today at the same angles as i did 4.5 weeks ago show no real significant change. i feel really depressed, dejected, and like a total failure. i have no one else to turn to and need some words of encouragement or advice from anyone who can relate. :o( (OPEN RNY proximal; 7/7/03, 226.6/206.2/133.0) — sweetmana (posted on August 7, 2003)
August 7, 2003
Please don't feel dicouraged! I am 2 months out, and I have lost a total
of only 18 pounds! i am also a light weight, and my doc dais I need to
EXERCISE more and drink more water. I too feel upset sometimes because I
did such a drastic thing to help me. Your food intake is normal. SOmetimes
I can eat a lot and other times i eat 2 bites and I am full. Hang in there!
— Heidi J.
August 7, 2003
you answered your own problem. you said that you know you aren't working
the tool the right way. now is the time while you still have the chance to
work your tool the right way. follow instructions to the letter. start
excercising. if you don't start moving right now, it's the same as saying
"ohhh i'll start my diet on monday" and as we all know monday
never comes. you are so early into it you can make these changes and still
make goal. by not doing what you are supposed to do you will be stuck where
you are. don't try and twist and turn the instructions on how to use your
tool. use them the way that they are intended and you will get to goal. it
would be very sad to have this surgery(and many people who need it can't
get it) and not use it correctly. you know what you are and aren't doing.
i'm not putting you down, i know it is hard. and i feel very deeply for
you. but if you try and "cheat" the tool, only you will lose.
best of luck
— franbvan
August 7, 2003
I was feeling much as you are last night, and when I went in to post a
question, I checked out the section of previously asked questions about
slow loss, etc. I was able to get a lot of helpful information there, and
felt much better afterwards. Why don't you give it a try? Good luck
((hugs)) Vera
— vwbear
August 7, 2003
You stated "i didn't think i'd have to buckle down and begin
exercising in order to lose weight". Think you have a solution to
your problem right there ... you really need to follow your surgeon's
eating plan and exercise. Your new tummy is a tool that can work miracles
if used properly and taken care off. So regroup, make better food choices,
and do some exercising even just walking. One of the ways to overcome a
sluggish metabolism is to exercise. Also it is not a good idea to compare
yourself to others. Each person is different on how quickly they lose.
— [Deactivated Member]
August 7, 2003
If you loose 20 lbs a month that's 240lbs in a year!!! I don't think that
will happen. Try to keep upbeat... You have a year to go at least. Keep
healthy...drink your wateer ..and take your protien. Good lux
— Robert L.
August 7, 2003
I can relate! I had only lost 18 pounds at 5 weeks out. I realized that I
wasn't sticking to the program so I made a chart to post on the
refrigerator with lines for WATER, PROTEIN, FOOD and EXERCISE. By forcing
myself to keep track I increased all of the important factors and lost 10
pounds in the following two weeks. Be honest with yourself and WORK the
program and it will work for you :-)
— Melissa K.
August 7, 2003
Do not compare yourself to other people, that way leads to insanity.
Everyone's trip is different. Now having said that let's compare you to me.
I started with a BMI of 53 - not a lightweight and guess what? I lost 20
pounds in the first month. I thought that was fantastic. Now your telling
me that its lousy. I'm now 13 months out and have lost 136 (162 from my
high). And I weigh more than you do (OK so I'm 5 inches taller also). If
someone promised this would be easy, they lied to you. It's a battle, but
unlike all previous ones, the deck is stack in your favor as opposed to
against you as it has always been in the past. Good luck and start walking,
there is research showing that exercize elevates mood.
— Sunny S.
August 8, 2003
Oh this sounds like me, I lost 20lbs my first 2 weeks then 2 weeks of
absolutely not one ounce lost, then I got on the scale it was down 2 lbs,
one week later got on again down 6 more, so since my 2 week plateau I lost
8 more lbs, so be patient (which I know is hard) but these people here
really know what they are talking about! Make sure you are getting all your
water, protein, and walk walk and walk some more. And remember your body
needs time to adjust to your rapid weight loss. Hang in there! Dar
— Darlene H.
August 8, 2003
I had my open RNY one month ago today and I too have only lost 19 lbs, but
I can tell I am losing inches. Take your measurements that will make you
feel better. I keep thinking to myself my god I am the only one this
surgery is not working for, I try to stay off the scale but I seem to be
drawn to it and everyday get more depressed because it is not moving. I
have been told be patient your body is just ajusting to your first big
loss. Good luck
— Amy G.
August 8, 2003
i had surgery a year ago, i weighed 235, and lost very very slowly at
first, after 3 months, i joined a gym, worked off some cardio calories, and
inches came off as well. 227 is not a huge overweight matter, therefore, it
will come off more slowly, but you will be losing the weight. trust me,
trust us, trust the surgery, quit worrying about losing the weight,
stepping on the scale, eating calories, you're not supposed to have to diet
anymore, remember, just eat till full, and go on in your life, don't let
this eating bit consume your life anymore! it does not consume my life
anymore, you will not GAIN weight!! move on to something else, i've lost 70
lbs., 30 more to go! i wish you the best. but you have to stop worrying
about why your not losing weight, that's what put us up on the scales in
the first place. have a fun time with this! deb
— deb F.
August 8, 2003
I started as a lightweight and didn't lose as fast as I anticipated, and
have had plateau's along the way (still sitting on one for almost 3 months
now, at 9 1/2 months out). I refuse to believe I am done losing! Stop and
remember you are now 20 lbs lighter, (that's about 5 lbs a week! Not bad!)
and it has only been a little over a month. We are all anxious to lose it
as fast as possible, but our bodies don't give it up as fast as our heads
want it to. You have to have patience! It will happen! You are not a
failure and the scale is NOT the only measure of success after WLS.
— koogy
August 8, 2003
Hi! What are you eating?? That can have a bit to do with it, as well as
being low in vities and water intake. My nutritionist told me that if I
ever did this (and I have, trust me! LOL) to cut back on everything but
protein, and increase the protein... look at my second profile (under
sharon m. brittain) to get a good diet to follow. Try increasing your
liquids, and get your vities checked. Sometimes, being low in something can
stop your weight loss! It doesn't take long to get low in vities! :~) Hugs!
— Sharon m. B.
August 8, 2003
I had a VBG on 6/11/03. I lost 25lbs the first 3 weeks, then nothing for
the next 3 weeks. My seventh week I lost 8lbs, and this week I have lost
2lbs. I too have been discouraged, but I know I need to be patient, because
I am doing everything that my Dr. has recommended. Hang in there. I also am
a light weight, 215/180/125. I am only 5 feet tall. May God Bless. Janice
— betterfitness
August 8, 2003
I posted this same question at 1 month out. Aaat this point I hit a very
discouraging almost 3 week plateau and even gained 3 pounds. Then in the
next 16 days, I lost 15 pounds. People responded and told me that this is
very common at this point. Even a nutritionist confirmed this so I felt
better. Keep on doing what your doing. I know it is maddening - but it
will break when your body realizes you mean business. Congratulations!
You have come along way!!!
— J G.
August 8, 2003
Sweetie, you are a lightweight and your surgeon did the correct thing by
doing a proximal and not a distal. Distal is for those with a lot more
weight to lose than you do. Stop comparing your weight loss to others
right now. It doesn't work that way. Stop stressing and learn to eliminate
the words, "only lost.." from your vocabulary now! You will
always find others that lost tons more than you in the same time period
starting at the same height and weight. And you are too new of a post-op to
have any idea how your weight loss will progress over the months. But what
you can do is start developing good nutrition habits and follow the pouch
rules from the beginning, and that will serve you well in the long run.
There are those who do no exercise and the body still loses weight,
however, for most of us, you will reach a point where these good habits,
which include exercise will be the key to continued weight loss. Also, it
is not unusual on the journey to have weeks when you lose nothing, or even
gain a few pounds. It will happen. Lighten up and enjoy the ride.
— Cindy R.
August 8, 2003
Just to compare, I also started with a BMI of 43 (well, 43.9), and in three
weeks I am down 17lbs. I am following my surgeon's diet very well, and
excercising about an hour a day. So, it just seems I will not be a
lightning fast loser, as it seems you won't either, but it is coming off,
and I do feel much better about myself already. I was told to expect
plateaus often, to think of the weight loss more as a series of steps down,
with level areas, instead of a slide that goes down smoothly. It is tough
to hear of others losing quickly, but I keep reminding myself that no
matter how slow it seems, I have lost more in three weeks than I have lost
in almost any diet I've ever been on, and I don't feel hungry doing it...
SO, best of luck to you, know that you aren't alone, but try to stay
positive and keep working.
— Kelly B.
August 8, 2003
Take a look at my profile, especially the Oops' and Oh's. We have similar
stats and I reached goal at 10 1/2 months even though I started out slowly
with an early plateau just like you.<p>It may help to look at your
loss as a percentage since you are a lightweight. I also lamented the fact
that I had only lost 20 pounds in 6 weeks . . . Until I realized that I
was already 20% to my goal in a month and a half and that most people lose
pretty easily for the first 12 months. Plus, losing slower was easier on my
skin and I don't "need" any reconstructive surgery.
— ctyst
August 8, 2003
Thanks to everyone for giving me the support and encouragement I so needed!
It really helps to hear from others who have been through what I am going
through, and I so appreciate all the responses. Thanks again!
— sweetmana
August 8, 2003
As you can see by the amount of responses, everyone has experienced this,
including myself. I am 1 week away from the 2 month mark of Lap RNY. I lost
21 lbs. the first 2 weeks and everything has slowed down to a crawl ever
since. My total loss is 33 lbs and I was disgusted and feeling like WLS was
not going to work. I'm up at 4 a.m.
m-f going to the gym before work, eating right, taking my vits and getting
a minimum of 64 oz of water, usually more. Everytime I stepped on the scale
I was almost enraged. I'm working so hard, but its not having the affect I
expected.Then I had my 2nd check up this past tuesday. My Dr. told me I was
progressing perfectly. I made me realize that I was 1/3 of the way to my
goal in less than 2 months. In addition he said my slow loss is exactly
what I want for better chances of my skin not sagging it has the chance to
go at the same pace. I know its devestating, and I cant stay off the scale
either so I wont tell you to. This is harder than any of the million diets
I have tried in the past, but the best part is that I know I will not fail
this time. And about those other people, my dr asked how much did they
weigh compared to me. The larger you are the more weight you lose, so 40 to
a much larger person would be like 10 to you.
— Regina J.
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