Question:
I am starting to feel like a failure... Can anyone help me?

I have lost 62.5 lbs in 17 weeks and I am getting frustrated. YES my thyroid was out of whack for a month, YES I am not excersising, YES I eat carbs... (ok then duh) No but seriously... I need some people to help me. Send me the link to a profile that says how much weight you have lost in a timeline. I want to see what the "norm" is. I cant stand all this pain and stuff I have been through, ONly to remain to fat. I am feeling mighty down.... Like I went through it all for nothing. (crying and blue, Jennifer White)    — Jennifer W. (posted on March 29, 2003)


March 28, 2003
I'm 4 months out a proximal RNY and -62lbs. 205/143/120.
   — jengrz

March 28, 2003
Jennifer, My name is Vonda and I am in Orange City. I had an open RNY in July of 2001. I started out at 298 and by 16-17 weeks I had lost about 60 lbs so if you go by my timeline you are right on target. I currently weigh between 165-173 depending on the time of month. I go through times when I feel like I have let myself down because I have reached my goal as of yet so I understand the crying and blue phase. I am a member of the YMCA in Deltona. If you would like a work out friend I could use one too. Email me at [email protected] and I will give you my number. Vonda
   — samizaki

March 28, 2003
The "norm" is whatever your body has set for you. Everyone loses weight at different rates. At your opening weight of 290, you are still probably considered a lightweight as far as WLS is concerned. You *have* lost 63 pounds and hopefully once you get your thyroid function on tracks, things will go better. My firstsuggestion is to start exercising. The surgery is just a tool. It's like a hammer - if you just gently put the hammer on top of the nail, the nail is not going to go anywhere. You've got to swing the hammer to drive the nail. The exercise - and dropping your carb consumption down by concentrating on the maxim "protein first" - will help to drive further weight loss...JR
   — John Rushton

March 28, 2003
Hi Jennifer....go to: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/postopplanner.phtml and plug in your numbers, and you'll get a chart showing where you should be each month post-op. I think you're doing great! Hugs, Joy
   — [Deactivated Member]

March 28, 2003
I know how you feel. My surgery date was 12/9/02 and I am down 42 pounds. I don't see huge movements in the scale. I have been in the same clothes since being 1 month post op. Obviously, I can't offer any words of advice but, since I could have posted your question, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. 236/194/??
   — Pat B.

March 28, 2003
Jennifer, I am coming up on 12 weeks and have not yet lost 40 lbs. so I seriously doubt I will lose 22 lbs in the next 5 weeks because that is not the rate of progress I am seeing so you are probably way ahead of me. I can get very frustrated with a slow weight loss but I have lost a lot of inches and my BMI is now 32. There are a lot of factors to success and I think that the scale number is not only just one of them, but sometimes a very poor indicator at that. If you are truly unhappy with your loss and want to lose more you know you can cut the carbs and exercise. If you don't want to then that is your choice and it is an okay choice. But comparing your numbers to others is just going to make you miserable. As a slow loser, I know this to be true. When I compare myself to people who have lost 50 or 60 lbs in 12 weeks I get very crazy and frustrated. I also lose the JOY of having lost nearly 40 lbs in 12 weeks. I have never done that before and the constant comparison to others takes away from my own hard earned success. So I stop weighing myself and when I do weigh, I try not to compare. I also keep an eye on the inches and the BMI. Those indicators make me much happier. Try to be happy that you are losing and eating healthier and try measuring yourself and keeping track of your BMI. Then you won't be measuring against others, just your own progress. Hang in there and measure you against you and no one else. You will be much happier that way. Take care.
   — susanje

March 28, 2003
please consider getting into therapy. if you are "crying and blue" and feel like a failure over your terrifc weight loss, the problem is not in your body.
   — Kasey

March 29, 2003
First of all you are doing awesome!!!!! I kept a really good month by month diary in my profile. I hope reading it helps you!
   — Linda A.

March 29, 2003
Hello, perhaps I am just tired from a long night shift but, these kind of postings I find frustrating to me. I think your weight loss is good however,it kind of makes me wonder when I am out 6 months and I have lost 62 pounds with a lap RNY distal and I am happy about my weight loss and these postings of people who are unhappy with their weight loss makes me feel like I ought to be down about my weight loss too. But, I want to be positive and keep the focus.
   — train

March 29, 2003
Jennifer, I think most of us know where you are coming from on this. Most of us became obese because we didn't have good eating and exercise habits. This surgery ONLY provides us with the ability to eat less. Unfortunately it does not make the head hunger go away, nor does it provide us with a sudden desire and ability to exercise. And IF one is terribly obese, a lot of times, one cannot get proper exercise at first. As the weight comes off, of course, we can do more exercise. I guess what I am trying to say, is you can't consider your surgery a failure. And you sure are not a failure. There are, most likely, a lot of old ways that need to be changed and if you try and do the "protein first, lots of water", and just go out and walk as much as you can. Take it easy at first, and as time and weight tick away, you will find yourself succeeding. You ARE a success NOW! Your weight loss is a GOOD one. You are still early post op. You might be having some post op blues. Make sure you are in touch with your doctor and it isn't anything physical and then just hang on and know it all gets better. That darn head hunger is a hard one to get past, but you will. Make sure you are getting plenty of protein. This (the surgery) DOES work! (Open RNY 10/30/02 down 125 lbs) Oh, I was almost totally immobile before I had surgery. It was getting BAD. I started of slowly with just walking SHORT distances. I am still not where I should be, but I am a whole lot better and happier. I still have 100 lbs to go. Hang in there. We've all been there!
   — Ginger M.

March 29, 2003
P.S. Have you heard the term 'light weight' in here before? Well, maybe you are one of those. If you start off barely 100 lbs overweight, it just might be it will come off more slowly than say someone who is 200 lbs overweight. The end result is what is measured. The journey may be slow, but if you do as you have been instructed by your surgeon, you WILL get there. Good luck!
   — Ginger M.

March 29, 2003
Jennifer, I did the math and that is 3.6 pounds a week. I think that is great. That's right around the same weight loss I have had--50 lbs in 3 months. Yeah sure I wish I was one of those people that just seems to have the weight pour off but I'm not either and I am happy with what I am doing as long it continues.
   — sandy L.

March 29, 2003
Jennifer, if you compare your weight loss to others, it will drive you nuts, so get out of that habit. Everyone loses at a different rate, even those who start at the same height and weight-its just a fact. We're all different, but guess what, we all lose! Why are you down? I can't see any logical reason for it from your post. Erase that word failure from the vocabulary-it doesn't apply. If you continue to feel so down and are crying for no reason, seek medical help-it may just be your hormones out of whack and you may need some short term anti-depressants to help you out. Your weight loss is quite normal. What I will advise you to do though is to change the attitude towards weight loss and to apply a little work to it if you want to loss to continue and to maximize your window of opportunity. Exercising is the key to continued weight loss as is keeping the protein high, the carbs and sugar low and drinking tons of water. Follow the pouch rules, and you will continue the success you have started.
   — Cindy R.




Click Here to Return
×