Question:
I am so depressed about my rate of weight loss.

I had my Open RNY on June 19th, 2001. I started out at 315lb and as of today I am only 255lb. I have been between 260 and 255 for the past 4 weeks. I know that if I increase my protein and water things would be better for me. It is so difficult for me to get the required amount of food in. What are you guys eating exactly because the things that I eat do not have enough protein in it?? I have been trying to increase my water intake. I now drink approx 24-40 oz a day. As for exercising I had to stop temparally due to an injury in my knee. I know that some of you might say that I am doing fine but it really hurts when NO ONE notices the difference. I'm really trying to keep my head up but it is becoming more and more difficult day by day. I was more outgoing before the surgery. I feel as if friends and family are looking at me as a failure....    — [Anonymous] (posted on October 7, 2001)


October 7, 2001
I just wanted to say congratulatiosn on your weight loss. I had surgery 1 week before you (June 12th) and I thought I was doing great with a 47lb weight loss as of 2 weeks ago. I know that upping your water and protein will help you, but I think you are doing great :o) Just think, you have 60lbs? gone forever, be proud of your weight loss so far and remember it's not always easy but it is worth it...
   — Mandy M.

October 7, 2001
Wow! I'm sorry, but I just can't understand why you are so upset. Are you sure you had (have) realistic expectaions of this surgery? My goodness! How much did you expect to lose? I am truly not trying to be mean, but think about it. 60 POUNDS already!!! Your poor body needs time to adjust. Even WITH the surgery 2-5 pounds a week is considered "normal" and desirable. Your skin can also use the time to try to "fit" again. You run less of a risk of gallbladder problems (if you still have yours) when you lose a little more reasonably. I am just about 10 months post op and have lost 90 pounds and I'm thrilled!! I could never have lost this fast on any "diet" and I know I'm not very likely to regain any of it. You must try to put this into perspective. We're talking about the rest of your life here. It's not a race. If you try to compare yourself to others, you will never feel satisfied or happy, because inevitably SOMEONE will lose faster or more or easier than you. PLEASE try to be happy in your accomplishment. I WISH I could have lost that quickly, although I'm pretty happy with the way I've lost. No one noticed my first 55 pounds or so, but all of a sudden, EVERYONE noticed. Everyday. And, I've gotten lots of compliments even when I hadn't lost anything for a few weeks. You have probably just hit a plateau. Give your body a chance to adjust and THEN people will notice. Of course, you can probably do better about protein and water, as we ALL can, but that's the beauty of this tool You don't have to be perfect to be a success. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You will set yourself up for failure that way. And by the way, maybe it's time to just THROW OUT THE DAMN SCALE!!! If you allow yourself to get sad and depressed over a 60 pound weight loss in 3 1/2 months, maybe you are being ruled by the scale, and that shouldn't be what it's about. It should be about improvements in health, movement, general well-being, and I would find it hard to believe that having lost 60 pounds hasn't made you feel at least a little better physically (breathing easier? walking easier?). Finally, I'll get off my soapbox by asking, what about your clothes? They must fit better, differently or even must be baggy on you by now. Maybe you should buy a new outfit or even just a blouse or slacks or something. Now THAT should make you feel better. :-) Please understand, I don't want to sound mean, and I hope I haven't, just relax, try to stick to your doctor's plan, and it WILL work for you. Heck, it already has. Good luck.
   — Maria H.

October 7, 2001
Did you ever see the Oprah show; the one where she had lost like 100lbs, and she piled a HUNDRED POUNDS of hamburger meat on a wagon and dragged it on stage? Visually it was a perfect way for her to empahsize her loss. I don't know if you realize how much 60lbs is? It's two of MY DOGS! It's my cat times five... it is a small child, a propane tank- there has got to be something that you can relate it to, as it is an enormous amount of weight. Next time you are at the grocery store- check out the weight of some of those cuts of beef- or if that is gross, how about the bags of flour? How much would it take to fill your cart? Still unhappy? :) PS- a real answer to your questions: drink at least 64oz of water... and some good sources of protein for me are: At work I find myself eating Nalley's Turkey Chili- 1 can will last 2-3 days, or Tuna w/lt. mayo on saltines, or refried beans w/cheese & salsa and a few tortillas, protein bars, string cheese and Turkey Jerky for snacks. At home I have chicken cooked a zillion ways, any kind of beef, or scrambled eggs. I find when I try and eat something "put together" such as a cassarole, I do not get enough protein in- and I stray from eating what I should be eating to what I really desire, which are carbs- and carbs are bad for me. So I really try and keep it simple, eat a piece of chicken, and call it dinner. Later, if I want to try a bite of whatever side I made, salad, veggie etc. I will eat that then, but I do not try and make a "mini-meal" and taste everything. For me, it is alway the protein for my 3 squares- everything else is just a second thought.
   — Karen R.

October 7, 2001
First of all, realize that depression is normal at this stage, and depression LOOKS for logical-seeming reasons for its existence. And you will lose weight anyway1 :-) Then, go to the search place on the opening page of AMOS and put in "plateau", and read how common it is for plateaus to be the ongoing pattern for some people. My story's in there...I for one only EVER lose in chunks every 4-6 weeks, with no change at all in between. And yes, like you, I get mad, depressed, worry that the weight loss is over, blame myself, etc. But it eventually ends with another short burst of weight loss, then another long plateau. My longest plateau yet is 11 weeks...and yet I've lost 110 lbs in under 9 months this way. Chin up, sister! It's SO hard for us to trust it will work when nothing else ever did, but have faith in you and your brave choice, and others will, too.--Jesse
   — Jesse M.

October 7, 2001
If it makes you feel better...I had surgery June 11th and I've ONLY lost 51 lbs...(I'm thrilled!!!!!). Don't be sad the weight will come off.
   — Monica J.

October 7, 2001
Thank you guys so much for the honest answers. I am going to use some of the advise that was given, and stop comparing myself to others. I'm also going to visit a nutritionist to try to maximize my intake. Really I believe that I will be fine. I had this surgery to improve the quality of my life and I am going to let it do just that. MIND, BODY & SOUL... Thanks Again..
   — [Anonymous]

October 8, 2001
First start a food diary now of everything you eat and drink BEFORE you see yor nutronist. Take it along for advice. I am a pound a day person who got really frustrated with my first serious plateau after a 65 pound loss. I am glad I am finally dropping again. Funny thing is I lost really fast at first and a good friend and my angel peg shuffstall of oil city pa had surgery a week before me. Her loss was slower but now she is catching up I am down 70 she is down 60. Everyone is different. I will eat a bite of anything, denying myself all treats make me obsess on them and thats worse than one cookie 3 doritos or a bite of my wifes blizzard. One bite fufils th taste, denying all and I might become a binge eater of bad foods. I had that happen in the past:(
   — bob-haller

October 8, 2001
Hi there. I had my surgery 6/20 so I'm where you are time wise. I've lost 55 pounds (on my most generous scale). However, the number of pounds is kind of irrelevant. I think at this time, we have worked hard, suffered some and seen a big change in the numbers. But it's not over yet. We still have a ways to go. Of course we also have more than a year to get there. This is mostly a matter of patience. You mentioned that others aren't noticing. I think in many people's minds there's only two sizes, fat and skinny. We don't get to skinny over night. Also, others might not be comfortable mentioning your appearance, it can be a touchy subject. The best thing for me has been to take lots of pictures every step of the way. Even if noone else can see the changes, I can. That makes me happier. Still, be patient. And don't sweat the plaeaus, they will pass.
   — kcanges

October 8, 2001
First of all, congratulations. You are actually doing GREAT! Let me give you some advice. Don't make pounds lost by a certain date your goal. No one can predict how quickly or slowly their own body will lose the weight. Instead, make daily goals of getting in the water (you are doing great there too!), or exercise (don't worry about taking a little break due to the injury), getting in your protein, and such. MEASURE yourself monthly on your surgery date. This is very exciting to keep track of! Don't weigh yourself daily, try weekly and ALWAYS in the early morning before you've dressed or eaten so you can get a consistent weight. Now, let's look at your weight loss. You had surgery coming up on 4 months ago, right? You've lost 60 pounds. THAT IS FANTASTIC!! I know when you actually get to your 4 month date, it will be even higher. Now, about the plateau you are on, expect them!! Don't get upset, they are natural and predictable. My entire weight loss consisted of 3 and 4 week long plateaus but I STILL kept losing inches (thus the measurement thing!). Here are my first year's monthly losses: 21, 10, 9, 22, 5, 5, 6, 10, 5, 7, 4 and 4. Now I felt I was extremely slow in losing, but my body didn't and it has worked out great. I do not need a tummy tuck! Walking is the best exercise! Do what you can. Don't compare yourself to others (especially to those who started at much higher weights that you.) Don't worry about other people noticing. They ARE noticing, they are just not sure what to say. Some are jealous, some are afraid to offend, some are fascinated, some are afraid they might somehow jinx you if they talk about it. Don't worry, it is going to work out in the end. You are not a failure, you are courageous and you will and are beating the FAT you and the SLIM you that's hiding under there is soon to emerge. Remember, this isn't an overnight change - expect a year anyway. As far as protein foods, here are some ideas: nuts, beans (refried beans, bean soup, chili with beans), chili is good food!, meat spreads on crackers, pepperoni chips made in microwave for one minute on high(put on napkins to absorb the grease), eggs, egg salad, pate', grilled meats, get a George Foreman grill and make yourself grilled fish, meat, chicken, etc., cheese, cottage cheese and peaches in their own syrup with a dash of pumpkin pie spice on top, s/f yogurt and s/f pudding, s/f fudgsicles spread with a spoon of peanut butter. I really have no problem getting in my protein from food! I love to eat still! Best wishes,
   — Cindy H.




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