Question:
How do yall deal with being so big
how do i do it. at 415 pounds, (maybe more now), i dont fit in chairs, i could not dance at my christmas party, i cant breath, i broke my bed, i cant walk, cant clean myself from bathroom, the list goes on. i am so depressed, cant see beyond my misery. it envelopes me. — Tica G. (posted on December 2, 2001)
December 2, 2001
Hi Tica, I just read your profile. It looks like it won't be too much
longer for you. You've come a long way baby!!
Just keep positive thoughts and know you're not alone, we all have some/all
of the same problems you do. Maybe this month you'll get your date. E mail
me whenever you want.
God Bless
— Cindee A.
December 2, 2001
Keep your chin up and think positively. You're not alone. Good luck!
— Straley S.
December 2, 2001
it won't be long now think positive
— Julie B.
December 2, 2001
Tica - we have all been there. Really. Just four months ago I was almost
as heavy as 300, which is absolutely terrible for someone as short as me
(5'3"). I had sleep apnea, I couldn't walk 10 feet without getting
winded and sweaty, my feet and ankles were swollen all the time, I had a
hard time wiping my butt properly, I couldn't fit into theatre seats ...
the list goes on and on. And how did I deal with it? I did exactly what
you are doing - getting the wheels in motion to change my situation
permanently! Please keep looking forward - your time is almost here!
— BlueGray
December 2, 2001
I dealt with being so big by hardly ever leaving my house. I quit going to
movies, quit going out to eat, gave up on lots of things I used to enjoy.
Over the last 18 months I've lost about 175# or half my body weight. I'm
now a size 12 & am about 15# from my goal weight. I can now do
anything, yes, anything I want to. What's funny is that I'm starting to
forget what it felt like before. I sat in some uncomfortable chairs at a
concert a few nights ago & they made my lower back hurt. Then I
remembered my back used to hurt like that all the time, but I had
forgotten. When you're normal weight, it's a whole different experience.
Your life really can change, just like mine & so many others' has. It
doesn't always have to be this way. Isn't that just an amazing concept!?! I
know it was for me; I couldn't even imagine not being fat. I'm not saying
losing weight is automatically the answer to ALL your problems. Some of us
discover we have other issues we need to deal with as well. It sure is
easier, though, without having those extra hundreds of pounds. "Every
happy ending needs to have a start."
— [Anonymous]
December 2, 2001
Tica, if you are questioning how to get through it, you are already at the
first step of getting beyond it. It is hard to see now, I know. For
myself, I made all kinds of adaptive changes. I got a dishwashing wand
with a sponge on the end to clean myself with, propped my bed with some
books, etc., etc. And then I informed myself exhaustively about what I
could do to change it. I had surgery on 9/21. I am already down close to
60 lb. and am revelling in my new body and in the "old" clothes
that sat in the back of my closet with their tags on that I never could
wear because they were too small before I had a chance to put them on my
back. Keep on keepin' on. I'll be thinking about you, knowing that I've
been there, too. Margie B
— Marjorie B.
December 2, 2001
This is a very difficult question. I think back to how I was (I can never
forget)and how I am now , and I know I could not live one more day the way
I was. I really loathed myself. When I was MO I would wonder why no one
could accept me as I was , accept my inner beauty , look beyond my outer
shell. And yet I couldn't accept that or find my own beauty when I looked
in the mirror and saw that big blob. And I too was having problems with
personal hygiene , how attractive could I feel. Plus I was a hot sweating
mess even in the winter. But I coped one day at a time knowing after
surgery I would live a better life , and I do. Stay focused and know you
are in that "shell" temporarely soon you will shed that cocoon
and emerge the beautiful butterfly that you are. God bless you and good
luck.
— Rose A.
December 2, 2001
I know That I have not had the surgery as of yet, but I am gettiiiiiing
closer. With Just the thought of being able to have the surgery has changed
my outlook drasticly. For the last year, I did nothing but be on the
computer in my home. I have for years suffered through job after job
because I was either in too much pain, or I felt as if I didn't belong. I
must have had 30 jobs in the last 7 years. Because of the prospect of
surgery, I have went out and gotten a job, started to put makeup back on,
and have had sex freely with my DH. It would of just crush me If my
insurence would had turned me down. All I am waiting for is the date...Keep
your chin up, and may the God and Goddess Bless you.
— [Anonymous]
December 2, 2001
Your getting there girl!!! And actually youre doing the best thing you can
do right now, and that is coming to this website for support. We have all
been there before in some form or another. So you are not alone!!! Soon you
will be on the "losing side" and these things will be in the
past. Stay focused on your upcoming surgery and be positive about anything
else in your life that you can... like your soon to be transformation!!!
Good luck!! HUGS!
— Tee G.
December 2, 2001
ATTEND some local support group meetings and see the success stories,
socialize and ask to see before pictures, we love showing them off!!!! Read
my profile, it talks of some of these things. BE HAPPY, your on the road to
a bright healthy tomorrow.
— bob-haller
December 3, 2001
Hang in there, Tica. Not much longer now until your surgery. You just won't
believe how much better you are going to feel in a short time. You are not
alone. Just hang in there.
— susie K.
December 3, 2001
Hi, Tica. First, please don't be down on yourself. All of us have been in
the same boat. Right before my surgery, I had to attend an open house at my
son's new school. I tried to sit in the seat (one of those horrible kinds
with the little desk attached to the side) and actually fell down after
basically becoming jammed into the seat. Phew.
You know, among the things you should remember: First of all, you're DOING
something about this. You cannot feel bad about your body, because you are
doing something to change it. Think about all the people in the world with
severe problems who do nothing about them. Also, remember that this is such
as VISIBLE problem. My overeating was to some extent no worse than someone
else's smoking. But my problem was visible, a smoker's problem is only
visible if they're actively smoking. It's unfortunate that we feel so bad
about our size. Please take heart in knowing that soon you will be feeling
a lot healthier and more comfortable in your skin (although, truth be told,
my "skin" is kinda sagging at this point!! :-) ) Best of luck and
please write if you'd like!--Mary Ellen
— Mary Ellen W.
December 4, 2001
Hon, we have all been there. Get in to see a good psych/counselor. I was
put on antidepressants and it really helped me preop and postop. I still
see a counselor every other week to keep me positive and focused on goals.
The good part is that you are actively trying to do something to better
yourself. You know you are important that's why youre looking into the
surgery. For most of us, once we got so big, moving was almost impossible,
our only comfort and enjoyment was food. With not being able to move the
weight piled on faster. Thats where the antidepressants help me, I have not
only lost 75lbs but I lost my best friend FOOD. Don't get me wrong, I am so
happy I'm not compulsing about food and my life doesn't revolve around food
anymore but it is a loss and I am still learning how to deal with stress,
anxiety, happiness, saddness etc by other means besides food. The
counseling/antidepressants also keep the self defeating behavior under
control that helps me to stick with the surgeons guidelines.
Focus on the future, not where you are now because that's going to change
real soon.
— Helen B.
December 4, 2001
Well, I'm 350 lbs., but I'm only 5'2. I know what it's like to just be
disgusted with life. My mom said that she could tell that I was becoming
more introverted. I've broken two box springs. I just got it checked today.
I have to stuff myself in my college seats and I'm out of breath walking
between buildings. I feel like my lungs are on fire. I know what's like,
but I'm also having surgery next week. This time is flying so fast. You
know that you have a way out. Even though it seems like it's taking a long
time, your time will come. A marathon runner doesn't stop running when he
sees the finish line. He works harder. Runs harder. This is the time to put
forth your best effort to get things in motion. You'll be so happy once you
do.
— Jaimee S.
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