Question:
I should have not done this surgery! Help me please . . .
I am only 7 days post-op but I wish I would have not had this surgery. I know that thinking positively is so important now, but how can I? I can't sleep, I am exhausted, I hurt, I am sad that I could not have loved myself enough before to not take such a drastic approach to a thinner self. I already hate the schedule of trying to gage down the protein drink and get plenty of water in. I feel like I have butchered myself and can't pull out of this feeling. I know it is early, but will things turn around for me? — Diane S. (posted on November 9, 2003)
November 9, 2003
At days, your wound still hurts, your new stomach is not really functioning
and you are physically and emotionally exhausted. PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP.
— Steve B.
November 9, 2003
Denise, honey, I think we all felt this way initially. My first words
uttered upon waking from surgery was "My God, what have I done to
myself". It was bad... made my mother cry. Please don't give up.
Anesthesia, morphine and pain do work havok on your emotions right now.
You are loved, and many will be praying for you. In a couple of weeks this
pain and misery will be a vague memory, and you'll be losing weight like a
mad woman. Much love and hugs... Lisa
— Happy I.
November 9, 2003
Sorry, I clicked too fast and I had more to say. You have done the single
best thing for YOURSELF that you could have done. This tool will work for
you if you follow the doctor's instruction (they all have different ones)
and just let it work for you. I am out 13 months (yesterday) and am down
131 lbs. It has all but stopped but if I could do 3 or 4 more lbs I would
be ecstatic before my plastic surgery the end of December. You will be
fine.. just let it work for you. Good luck!!
— Steve B.
November 9, 2003
We have all been where you are now. It will get better just try to hang in
there. IT WILL GET EASIER FOR YOU.
— Delores S.
November 9, 2003
Denise many of us felt this way right after surgery. Have faith and
patience you will be fine. Make sure you getting plenty of fluids, rest
and movement that you need so that you body will start to heal. It takes
time but you will start to feel better, your energy will come back and you
will start to see the results. You did love yourself enough to have this
surgery and your body and mind will thank you they are just testing you :)
Take care things will turn around!
— Laurie B.
November 9, 2003
I felt the exact same way!! BUT it does get better. I am a living proof...i
was sooo depressed after surgery i felt like an alien in a sense it will
get better give it time...i still can not gag protein shakes down....if you
need someone to talk to feel free to contact me..love Amy -50pds since
9-16-03
— cinamoni
November 9, 2003
I remember very vividly wanting to call my surgeon and ask how much it
would cost to reverse the procedure. I realize that the words "it will
get better" may not be much comfort, but in a few short weeks it will
be better and you will be grateful that you did it. Just hang in there and
know that we've all been there and made it, and so can you.
— Cosmo K.
November 9, 2003
The emotional side of this surgery is so overlooked, and I feel it is by
far the most important. If it makes you feel any better....EVERYONE feels
this way in the beginning. And honestly, somewhere in the second month
everything becomes so 'normal' that its like you never had the surgery.
Hang in there, you're normal. :-)
— RebeccaP
November 9, 2003
Denise,
Honey, I wish I could get in my car and come right over and give you a
great big giant hug! I think a lot of what you are hearing in your head is
a result of major surgery. Please know that it is okay to have these
thoughts and feelings. You are emotionally responding to a physical
experience. It is normal to feel tired, sad, sore, bored, worried and all
of that. You did NOT make a mistake, I promise you that. I don't believe
for one minute that if we had "loved" ourselves more, we would
not have been obese. You need to shake those irrational thoughts by
telling yourself, I choose to believe that I just did the most awesome
thing for myself. I choose to believe that as I am sitting here, pounds
are melting away, causing me to feel better physically and emotionally
about myself.
Don't be so hard on yourself trying to get the water in. Do your best, but
don't let it stress you out. And the protein drinks? If you hate them,
have fat free milk. That is what I drank for 2 weeks, Doc's orders. Just
three times a day as a meal in between all the water. Even now 4 months
out I do not do protein shakes. I eat 95% protein all the time and I am
very successful.
Please write to me regularly if you need to. I love encouraging others,
and you just need to know you are not alone. Smile, you are one your way.
4 months out, down 71 lbs.
— Michele B.
November 9, 2003
Things will get better. You just had MAJOR surgery. You just took your best
friend and confidant away (food). Each day will get a little better. My
surgeon said that protein in the first few weeks weren't as important as
just getting in the right amount of fluid and recovering. As you get
further out you will be able to take bigger sips of liquid and not feel so
chained to a glass of fluid. As you get further out you'll be able to
really listen to your tastes (it gets better as you take a lot of sugar
out) and you will be able to find a protein drink that really sits with
you. Don't worry, in 1 month, 3 months, 6 months you will be amazed at the
changes! <p>Take care! 8/19/03 Lap RNY 268/198/145 57.75#'s from
surgery day!
— Michawn
November 9, 2003
i agree with you....you should not have had the surgery.i only mean that if
you did not understand what would happen after and if you were not fully
prepared to go thur the recovery period. this is major surgery and it takes
time to heal. but i do promise it will get better. i couldn't sleep either
and i couldn't get in all my protien in untill about 3 weeks. since you are
only 1 week post-op it is almost impossible to get in all your protien and
water(please don't stress over this just do the best you can). it took me 4
weeks to stop taking naps and about 1 1/2 months to get my energy back. i
do remember the first week was soooooooo hard. i hated having to ask my
husband to help me wipe when i went to the bathroom. hopely by the end of
your second week you will be feeling much better. have you tried sleeping
in a recliner? i had open and didn't sleep in my bed for 3 weeks.things
will turn around, just give it alittle time.best of luck
— franbvan
November 9, 2003
Hi Denise, I felt the same way at first for at lest the first mth. cuz I
alls I could do is thorw up and I was very exhausted all of the time. I
thought what did I do! But, I knew in the back of my mind it was going to
get better so just hang in there. I was sore too at first, but after a
couple of mths things started to turn around for the better and now I am 9
mths post op and very happy! You will be sore for a while and exhausted
too, but I promise it will get better, your new pouch needs time to heal!
Good Luck to you!
— Melodee S.
November 9, 2003
I know I should be positive now, but I think the others have more than told
you it will be ok. I am going to be real.
If you thoroughly did your research, then you know this is major surgery.
It is not a cake walk; it is an easy way out. This is a real stresful time
on your body and everyone reacts differently.
I hate to hear that you have had nausea and aches and pains, but you aren't
the first - nor will you be the last. This is part of the territory. You
aren't even a month out and you are quick to say you regret it. I wonder
will you feel the same when the bad things subside, which they will, and
you see the weight coming off.
Just continue to pray and take care of yourself. It will get better.
— Lissa M.
November 9, 2003
Denis,
Those first few weeks are such a difficult time. You are physically in
pain and your body is in trauma from the surgery. Let's not forget the
anesthesia that is linkering in your body and the fact that your hormones
are all screwed up since surgery. And, now you have too much time on your
hands with no means to enjoy food...our favorite past time. You are going
through an adjustment period. And...adjustments are, most times, growing
times...and painful. When you can't see the good in life, you have to
trust the rest of us who have gone before you. It WILL get better. Try
visualizing your dream right now. Spend your free time looking through
clothing catelogs, imagine those size 8's on YOU. It has happened to me
and it can happen to you. Spend time thinking of that dream vacation where
you can physically walk, sit in the airplane seat and enjoy yourself in a
bathing suit! Positive thinking will aid in your recovery. I am a true
believer of that. Trust us! Your surgery and recovery is going to be
awesome! Best to you.
— Cindy Y.
November 9, 2003
I wondered what I had put myself through and truly wondered if it was worth
it. I couldn't eat for 2 months. Had nausea 24 hours a day for 2 months.
Felt like I had been hit by a truck. However, it does get better. It
takes a while for your body to adjust. I read where some people are up and
walking around in a few days. I could hardly walk from the living room to
the bathroom for the first month!!!!!! Give it some time - at least a
couple of months and I think you'll start to feel better and see the
results. I'm now 2 years post-op and the initial pain that I felt was well
worth it now that I'm a size 4!!!!!!
— Patty H.
November 9, 2003
Hey Denise!! Hang in there honey..In a week or so you will start feeling
better and when you start seeing the weight fall off you will be sooo happy
you did this. I think we all went through pretty much the same feelings you
are now but in the future you will laugh about this. I am 14 months post-op
and I now wear a size 12. A huge difference from a size 26. I would do the
surgery over again tomorrow if I had too. It was worth every pain. I now
have my life back and you will too, just hang in there Girl!! Walk all you
can, try to add a little more on every day. The more you walk the quicker
the soreness goes away. Don't try to run a marathon or anything just walk.
I wish you the very best of luck and if you need someone to talk to feel
free to email me!!
— Sharon1964
November 9, 2003
I won't re-state everything others have already said here as far as what's
going on in your body and your emotions right now. But, I want you to know
that I too felt the same way. For weeks I was sure I had made the biggest
mistake of my life. But, now I know it was the best thing I've ever done
(besides marrying my husband!), and I have absolutely no regrets. I know
it's so much easier said than done, but please try to keep your eyes
looking forward to the prize - a new life. You WILL get better and you
WILL be glad you did this - it just takes a little time. You are not
alone. Email me anytime for questions, support, or encouragement.
— Debbie C.
November 9, 2003
I am more than 3 years post-op. Get ready because I am going to give you a
lot of love and then a smack of reality. First the love - start keeping a
journal. Could you be greiving over the loss of food? Food played such an
important part in my life that I truly greived over the loss of its central
role in my life. If this is the case, don't let anyone ever tell you that
this greif is silly. It is real.
Now for the smack of reality - What's done is done. One thing I have
learned is that this surgery doesn't do anything all on its own. You have
to manage your life, your eating, and your emotions. No matter what you
are feeling, you MUST take better care of your body now than you ever did
before the surgery (ironic isn't it) You MUST get in all your water, you
MUST eat well. YOU MUST, YOU MUST, YOU MUST. I know you don't really feel
like it now, but act like you do until you do.
Chin up, it does get better and we are all here to help. After three years
I have lost 105 lbs from 255 to 150 and were a 10P or 8 misses. But the
best changes have not happened in my body, they have happened in my mind.
I am more confident, I feel great, and would make the same decision over
again.
— Lisa M.
November 9, 2003
As you can see, you are not alone! I am now 5 months out and just about a
month ago was when I started feeling like I did myself a favor. Up until
that time, I also thought I made the biggest mistake of my life. I think
it's pretty typical to have some feelings of depression in the beginning,
because you feel like crap and can't sleep well! Trust me, it does get
better, although sometimes I get sad when I can't eat something I really
want. But I guess that's why I had the surgery, right? E-mail me if you
need to chat more. Good luck & God bless.
— ttilles
November 10, 2003
I can relate too! I felt like this for a while after surgery. It really
does get better, as everyone has said. I don't have much more to add,
except if you really can't get the protein drinks down, skip them for now.
My doc's orders were clear liquids for 10-14 days, then proceed to pureed
foods as tolerated. You don't really need that much protein yet, since
your body still has reserves. As for sleeping, that's about all I did.
But, I had help! My doc prescribed Roxicet for post-op pain, and I used it
for that and to help me get to sleep. Hopefully, you have something like
that which might help you. Conversely, some people don't sleep well on
pain meds, so maybe that is also the problem. I'd check with my doc on
this one, and let them know you can't sleep. Good luck, and take it one
day at a time!
— Carlita
November 10, 2003
I remember feeling like you did and believe me, now it is just a memory. I
am so glad I had this surgery. The first week is the hardest, and each
week gets easier and all of a sudden, you realize you no longer regret the
surgery, you are glad you had it. Your life begins to change, the weight
drops off and you feel better. HANG IN THERE - YOU WILL FEEL DIFFERENTLY
IN A FEW WEEKS. HUGS & PRAYERS. Gail
— GailV
November 10, 2003
Please Please Please know that what you are feeling is normal. I do not
usually post to people but I felt strongly that I wanted you to know that
you are feeling normal. If you had cancer you would have done what was
necessary to fix it. You had a disease and you did what you needed to fix
it. You will feel a series of things for about the first 8 weeks and then
it will all even itself out as you and your body and mind adjust to the new
you. The pain gets better, it really does. Eventually you will feel
"normal" your normal. You will go down in sizes, you will learn
to make good choices for your body that you can live with the rest of your
life. It all starts now honey and you will be fine. In fact you are so
reacting normally now that you are well on your way. E me if you feel
discouraged I would be happy to help you thru this.
[email protected]
Peggy open rny 9/20/02 -150lbs
— Peggy A.
November 10, 2003
I don't want to sound harsh and I do wish you the best but I have to ask
this question. Didn't your doctor explain what the eating process will be
like before your surgery? That this is a life time change and not just a
quick fix? Most patients have counseling before sugery to make sure they
are having the surgery for the right reasons. You are only 7 days out after
major surgery. You have to adjust to eating, start walking two to 3 times
a day which will help you with your pain, and take your vitamins, and drink
your water. Your body needs all of these to heal so that you can get back
to a normal life. If you are having a hard time drinking water use a baby
sippy cup. It controls your intake. I can not stress that walking two to
three times a day is very important to your healing. Make sure you have
your stomach girdle on. Please remember everyone heals differently from
this surgery. Again, I do wish you the very best.
— Linda R.
November 10, 2003
Recovery from any surgery is hard. Between the anesthesia, which messes
with your head, the depression, the inability to get back to your life, and
(possibly) painkillers ... ugh! I always try to think ahead ... I feel
crummy today, but in a month, I won't. I never focus on the immediate
situation unless there's something critical (pain, infection) to deal with,
because you just know that the early sledding is likely to be rough.
Especially with this surgery, as there are so many drastic changes in
eating and drinking (and we eat and drink all the time, so it's hard to
ignore those changes!). You may just have some anesthestia-related head
stuff going on, or a typical post-op depression kicking in. It stinks, but
it will pass. Just hang on, and try not to decide how you feel about this
decision until you give yourself at least a month of living with it.
— Suzy C.
November 10, 2003
Yep....you are normal! I am 21 months out down 175 lbs. I felt the same
way for a while.....now....I would not change a thing! Wait a while...
— Oldsoul
November 10, 2003
Hi sweetie,
well reading one of the answers on here annoyed me alittle, because i know
so much what you are going through!!!!!! I am now 6 weeks post and feeling
a ton better...excuse the pun lol,But i kknow when i was feeling so aweful
ceratinly did not need a lexure. your body goes through so many changes
newly post op, i mean its a tremendous stress on ones body, its such a life
changing thing...i mean one can read about it till there blue in the face,
but unless you have gone through it, its tough to relate...and even so,
every body is so different. i mean i knew people who had barely any
pain...me it was big big time. I also like you was sooo uncomterable i
could not sleep, i was on a recliner in a friends living room could not
sleep on the bed. too uncomterable.no sleep little food can make anyone
feel aweful....i said to myself oh god i wished i had never done this...and
have heard from soooooo many people the same the first couple of
weeks.....but it does get better everyday...and be proud of your self for
reaching out and talking about your feelings...isolation is the key to
getting more down....if your depressed about food, the first 8 weeks are
hard i still have 2 more to go...but after that there is more variety and
your body starts tollerating food better... do not regret the surgery, and
things are getting better....
e-mail me anytime....
[email protected]
— sweetdarling_ab
November 10, 2003
Like everone else's posts, I too must add my 2 cents! I felt the EXACT same
way you did, and just the other day did I start to feel better (I am now
day 18 post-op). It gets better! Hold in there honey!
— Amy E.
November 10, 2003
This surgery is the best present you have ever given yourself. It's so hard
at first with all of the "what ifs", but you will really be
amazed once you start noticing a difference. Plus, your self confidence
will skyrocket.
— jengrz
November 10, 2003
I felt the same way right after my surgery, and sometimes still wonder why
I did this to myself, and I'm 10 weeks post-opt. You are just 7 days
post-opt and you are going to feel crummy. You are right when you thinking
positively is important. Try to focus on feeling better. Maybe it's too
soon to try to drink protein drinks. At 10 weeks post-opt, I can't stand
them and probably will never like them. Do exactly as your doctor tells
you. I found that drinking warm drinks helped alot. Try some decaf tea
and try drinking your water at room temperature--that helped me. I wasn't
able to get in all the water, but I did drink sips of water throughout the
day and night. Most of us can relate to the sad feelings and they will
subside when you begin to feel better. However, you will have to deal with
alot of "feelings", feeling good one day, feeling bad the next,
feeling like you can eat anything, and not wanting to eat the next. I can
say I am now going through an emotional roller coaster, but all you can do
is take it one day at a time. Give yourself time to feel better, take it
easy and you'll begin to see and feel a difference. God Bless.
— Mary P.
November 10, 2003
I felt the exact same way after my surgery. Every commercial that I would
see would show some NEW diet that would work, and I would think... I
could've done it on my own, what in the world was I ever thinking.... I was
thinking that I was depressed about missing food.... It took me about 4
weeks to come completely out of the weird mood about the whole surgery and
feel like a person again, the best thing was going back to work one week
after surgery so that I could keep my mind occupied about not having it
done. Once I healed and started eating solid foods again, the REAL
realization that i NEVER could have done it on my own set in, and a feeling
of accomplishment and a wonderful feeling of weight loss is what was left.
I know that I regretted it SO much in the beginning, and said that if I
were to do it over again, I would never have done it, but that wouldn't
have been fair... I would do it 100 times over, and I feel better today
than I ever thought could be possible. Please hang in there it will and
does get better, mentally it's exhausting to deal with in the beginning,
and I felt like if someone could have told me that I would've been able to
deal with it better. I understand exactly where you are at, please email
me if you have any questions.... You are fine... reading your question is
almost like reading what I wrote on my profile many months ago.... you'll
see...
— sheri H.
November 10, 2003
HI! You know by now that your feelings are totally normal, but I wanted to
reinterate the importance of the follow up with your doctor. If you
weren't expecting to feel this way, then you didn't get the whole story. I
had to sign several documents acknowledging that I understood all the
reprocussions, physical feelings, possible complications and recovery
issues before I had surgery. If you weren't given this info, ask for it so
you have no more surprises! Also - though it's too late to go back,
re-examine why you had the surgery...was it really for "a thinner
self"? No doctor should have done this surgery for the main purpose
of losing sizes. It should have been for medical pusposes. Keep your eye
on your future health and keep in touch with your doctor! Good luck!
— toolio
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