Question:
Does anyone else feel like they have one foot on a banana peel?
and the other on the grave. I am only 50 years old and I told my husband that I feel like I'm about 80. I have so much wrong with me and have so much trouble walking, I get so SOB that I feel like I am going to die. I am hoping to have surgery either the end of Nov or beginning of Dec. God, this is such an awful feeling. I literally feel like I'm going to die every night when I go to bed. Nobody really talks about whether they feel like this. I have read alot of profiles but noone seems to bitch as much as I do. Maybe I'm just searching for a hall to throw a pity party for myself. Please help! Claire — gramof3 (posted on October 24, 2003)
October 24, 2003
Hi Claire! I think when we make a decision as big as this one -to have a
pretty drastic surgery - part of the process is taking a really honest look
at our health - particularly at our age (I'm 55 - got you way beat but
still in the same neighborhood!). We're not aiming to be in Vogue - we
want good health! So looking honestly at the increased health risks we
have can be very scary. I was fortunate to not have suffered any
irreversible health damage - but my labs were a mess (high lipids, blood
sugar), my blood pressure was barely controlled on two meds and I was short
of breath with most any activity and exhausted all the time. I ached all
over and my feet just about killed me. I knew if I didn't lose weight I
was looking at life-threatening complications from being morbidly obese.
So yeah, I can relate. Once I made the decision to have surgery I couldn't
wait to have it over with so I could feel better. I remember one night in
particular walking to my car after work (at a 12 hour desk job) and my feet
hurting so bad and being so out of breath I almost had to sit down before I
got to my car. I told myself to never forget that horrible feeling and I
haven't. Now when I'm walking to my car my feet don't hurt at all and I'm
not a bit short of breath! Of course I'm still 55 so yes, I'm tired after
a long day at work but nothing like before - 72 lbs ago. I have 30-50 lbs
more to lose but even so the difference is just phenomenal and I feel like
every day I get a little healthier. My fear has been replaced by joy - I
hope it will be the same for you very soon. Best of Luck and keep us
posted!
— [Deactivated Member]
October 24, 2003
Hello Claire: I am 53 and weigh in at 250 lbs. I feel as you do and have
said the exact same thing about feeling 80. I am scheduled to have WLS on
11/20 but my health problems may get in the way of surgery. I hurt from
head to toe literally and often feel like I'm at the end of my life. I am
having the surgery for health reasons. I cannot believe I let myself get
in this shape and have had bouts of depression because of my physical
problems. Since scheduling the surgery I have been happier and see a
glimmer of hope. I know I have to work on my mental health along with my
physical health in order to use the WLS tool to its best advantage. Take
care. Kathy
— kathy W.
October 24, 2003
Claire, I totally relate to your feelings. Before I had surgery, I was
soooo miserable. I'm 42, but at 400 lbs, I felt like I was 90. I hated
myself, I hated my life, every step was misery. Since my RNY in April, my
life has completely changed. I've lost 105 lbs, I exercise at Curves 4
days a week, I take my vities and drink lots of water, and I feel better
than I have in YEARS!! WLS was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Hang in there, and know that there's hope for you on the other side. Good
luck to you!
— Maggie T.
October 24, 2003
Claire, I'm 48 and at 320 pounds my BMI is over 52. I'm not having quite as
many health problems as you, but still, now that I'm planning surgery and
actually have a date I feel every wheeze and every aching muscle and
painful joint more than ever. I have a theory that I had to pretty much
ignore those things to live each day when I thought I was forever trapped
in this MO body. Now that I have hope of being normal again, at least in
size, all the walls I'd built up to defend myself are breaking down and
it's so much harder to live with it all. At least for me I have a date less
than three weeks away. I've been approved by everyone (and yes, that 500+
question psych test was a pain) and it's really going to happen, so that
helps me pull my spirits back up when I realize just how impaired I am by
my weight. BTW, I had a fall a couple of weeks ago, just 3 days after I got
my date, and I was horrified as I fell that I might hurt myself so badly my
surgery would have to be delayed. Thank God (literally) I only sprained my
ankle and bruised my other leg. The bruises are fading, I can walk on the
ankle again, and I'm being soooo careful until I can get this surgery
finished! You'll make it. Hang in there, and feel free to email me if you
want, just to vent and have someone to listen without judging. We're in the
same boat, basically.
— Chyrl W.
October 24, 2003
OMG Claire....There are many of us, if not all that feel or felt this way.
Anyone living an unhealthy lifestyle and is obese feels years older.
The human body is not meant to carry 100/200/300/400+ extra pounds on it,
but it does! It also, has consequences from us abusing our bodies.
I invite you read my profile. Although, I'm considered a light weight.
There wasn't anything lightweight about this 115 extra pounds on my
5'4" body. Now, add to the fact I'm 53 and there you have it!
I've been thin several times, including when I got married.
I can say it was having kids or being bored stay at home Mom or a dozen
other things, but I'm here to tell you I have finally come to terms what
caused me to "never" love my body, even when I was thin. Only
after seeing a therapist and realizing I can conquer the demons from long
ago past and "now" I can become slim/healthy and enjoy life as
never before!
The weight was more in the inside as it was on the outside. If, we don't
fix that....Can we ever be happy or satisfied thin or fat? No...We can't!
A pitty it took me 47 years to find the solution to my problem. LAP was
secondary to me finding a wonderful therapist.
I urge one and all to seek professional help and find the cause to our un
happiness, that makes us eat in good/sad/bad times.
I feel reborn in more ways than one now!
Food no longer is my crutch or best friend. I could care less for it. I eat
to live and not live to eat!
I'm 8 months post op and 100 pounds down. And, I was "Never"
scared of having the surgery, but of not having it, because I felt just the
same as you do now, Claire
I have been given the gift of life at 53 and I'm taking charge of it and
not looking back!
I wish you the best!
— Hazel S.
October 24, 2003
Oh my dear Claire, please read my profile. I personally know exactly where
you are coming from and if it wasn't for the grace of God I would have
slipped on that banana peel a long time ago. Pity party will not help, but
determination and trusting in God will. Hope I am not sounding harsh
because I don't mean to, but I am 54 yrs old had my surgery on 5/5/03 down
90 lbs, and now I go to bed every day thinking it has been another
beautiful day and I can't wait to wake up in the morning and start over.
Email me if you need to talk after reading my profile. God Bless and Love
Ya. Hang in there.
— Joan T.
October 25, 2003
<b>Oh my goodness did I. I was feeling just like that every darn day.
and I told my family, doctor that same thing. THAT I FELT LIKE I WAS SLOWLY
DYING. and I prayed to God every night in tears to please help me find a
way to loss my wt. Guess what honey? LOL He answered my prayers, pre-op wt
was 400 lbs 10 months ago. I've loss 146 lbs so far putting me at 254 lbs.
I have lots more to loss but Im not worried. I will reach my goal. Im happy
now and feel wonderful, wls was the answer to my prayers.</b>
— Naes Wls J.
October 25, 2003
Just think you are going to have the surgery and you will
feel younger within the 1st couple of months...then think how you are going
to look and most of all feel by spring..You will feel 20 years younger. I
had my surgery at 46 and I feel so much better and so young and feel I can
do anything whereas before I was afraid to do anything.Just think about
it... you are going to be reborn with the surgery and will not have to feel
that way again. Just think of positive thoughts..
— Rhonda S.
October 27, 2003
original poster here. I just wanted to that all that posted an answer to my
question. It has truly been a very long road for me filled with alot of
pain both emotionally and physically. I know when I get my surgery date
that things will get better. You all are truly there at my time of need.
Thank you all again. Claire
— gramof3
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