Question:
When am I ever going to quit?

I ate so much this weekend that I actually felt like I was going to be sick. I will be one year out from surgery August 6th and I still have the same old BAD habits. I have lost around 90 lbs... so far and I am sure if I were not so busy breaking the rules I would have lost more. How do I get my mind right? Why am I still mistreating myself?    — pennix122 (posted on July 26, 2004)

July 26, 2004
I wish I knew. If I did I'd fix us both. I have the same problems, but am afraid to ask for help on here because too many of the really strong willed posters have a way of being a little to tough-love. It's true when they say this doesn't fix our brains. And I wish "Try harder" "up your protein" "drink your water" and "do more exercise" really helped. It's not enough to hear the things we already know. We all already knew that stuff before surgery as we would probably all qualify as professional dieters. <p> My doctor told me the other day about a patient he had who had surgery at the same time I did. He started out at 450, got down to about 250, and 3 years later is nearly 450 again....no mechanical failures....just didn't follow the program. It really is all up to us, but I'm not sure there is a real answer to your question. Some will recommend seeing a therapist or counselor. That might help, but again, you have to be ready to accept the changes in your mind as well as your body. I ahve been to therapist so many times and they never helped because I was never ready to deal. <p> Sorry I wasn't really any help, but I wanted you to know that you aren't alone....and it really sucks. Good Luck to you!!!
   — Danielle M.

July 26, 2004
I am in the same boat. Most days I do well by getting up and exercising first thing. It keeps me on track. Today I exercised and the worst thing I ate was peanuts, which I don't even consider bad (just high calorie). This is definitely a one day at a time thing.
   — mrsmyranow

July 26, 2004
Try not to be too hard on yourself. I used to feel the same way. Once I reached my goal weight and realized that I could still blow it sometimes and not gain weight has made it far more enjoyable for me. I just remember back to what I used to eat at one sitting and realize that I'm really not eating all that much. It seems like it because are stomachs are much smaller now. I didn't reach losing a hundred pds. until I was 18 months out. It looks like your doing awsome on the weight loss. Blessings <>< Geri
   — Geralyn

July 26, 2004
I think it's a day to day thing too. Most of us are carb addicts. We crave things that aren't good for us. We fight those cravings every day. Some things we do can make those cravings better, some things make it worse (white flour and white sugar are the ENEMY. EVIL, EVIL, EVIL. I've spent the last three years learning how to use my tool to keep me on track. It was a journey to see what worked for me. I'm not 100% successful, but with effort, I still have a normal BMI, and if I'm about 80% successful, I find I can keep it there. The tools that help me are the pouch rules and the principles of the South Beach Diet. I know what I have to do. I know why I don't want to do it. I know that I want to keep trying. I just give it my best shot every day.
   — mom2jtx3

July 26, 2004
It seems as though you have some hidden issues that you are not aware of or haven't dealt with. One of the first things you must be totally aware of is that although the surgery is helpful what's more meaningful is your conscious awareness of what it is you do to your body!!! I could be wrong but it sounds as if food is your emotional partner (happy eat, sad eat, heck why not just eat we're together)Take it easy and remember that you must be in control of what you introduce into your body. If you need support why not join a group (weight watchers) or really and truly seek someone who will be able to work with you through this process (psychotherapist). Whatever you choose to do I hope you always remember that you are IMPORTANT!!!!! Take care and remember we are here for YOU!!!!!
   — Marcy L.

July 26, 2004
I think we can all relate to this. It's just something we have to deal with forever. We're human, with human frailties. We have an addiction - to food. The only problem is we can't just stop using food! Smokers can be without cigarettes, alcoholics without alcohol, and drug abusers without drugs, but we can never be without our drug of choice. So the best we can do is just keep trying, day by day. Sometimes we're going to make all the right choices, and sometimes we won't. If your emotional eating is becoming too hard to control, perhaps you could consider some counseling or behavior therapy. A lot of folks seem to do well with that. We're all here to support you - sometimes just venting and getting all that bad stuff out helps, too. So please come back and let us know how you're doing. Best wishes. Lap RNY 9/11/03, 270/165/???
   — Carlita

July 27, 2004
You are the only person who can discover what the underlying reasons for our self destructive behavior. Therefore, I would advise seeking professional help to change your behavior. A pro can help you to understand and see things that you can't view objectively on your own. If at one year out, if you're still having a compulsion to 'do the wrong thing' that it's really imperative that you get the professional help you need to overcome this problem. Nothing we say here is going to make much of a difference to you in the long run. Though we are here to support you and listen. There is no shame in needing/asking for professional help. Good luck to you.
   — LMCLILLY

July 27, 2004
None of us can tell you why you break the rules or why you are mistreating yourself. That's up to you to explore and if you don't have the answers, find someone who can help you explore those questions. In the meantime, get back up on the horse again and try again. Develop some structure for yourself so you won't have as much opportunity to break the rules. Get those foods that tempt you out of the house. Everybody falls and stumbles from time to time. You just have to keep on going doing the best you can. Also, ask yourself at the times you stumble why you're doing what you're doing? I know the times I stumble, it's generally my attitude that's to blame. A quick attitude adjustment and fear of gaining weight generally fix it pretty quick. Just find out what pushes your buttons and work to control it.
   — Cathy S.

July 28, 2004
I was doing the same thing, I would practically eat until I was so miserable. I finally made up my mind that that was not how it was going to be, I have done really good for the last two weeks with my eating, yesterday I eat too many peanut butter crackers, and I was sick, but I woke up this morning a fresh new day, and I did my protein, and I feel great. Don't get me wrong, I shouldn't have eat so many peanut butter crackers, but I didn't knock my self for it, just start a new day and go on. What keeps me going is looking at my too tight size 26 jeans that I keep by my bed, and then wearing my size 12/14 jeans that I have on right now. I do not want to go back to that unhappy obese person again. Please just start fresh, get your mind set, and do it. Have a Blessed day!!!
   — Michelle S.

August 3, 2004
I think the most frustrating thing about our "illness" is that we have to eat to stay alive. Unlike smoking, drinking or drug addiction, we cannot totally avoid food, so think of an alcoholic trying to limit their drinks, or a drug addict trying to limit their snorts...you get the picture. However, I know that there is one way to work on these things, and to also work on yourself as a human...find your nearest Overeater's Anonymous chapter. I know it helps and has helped me in the past. It's free, and it is a great support group.
   — missmollyk

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