reactions!
So, having thought of this process for many years now, and finally having gotten to the point where I have realized that I do not want to live the second 38 years of my life in the same fashion that I have lived the first- I took the first step towards happiness and health.
I have only spoken to my husband out, and two of my co-workers; one who has had the surgery herself. I have many acquaintances but not alot of close friends.
I decided I would have the conversation with my Mom, who has always been on my case about weight, since I was in grade six! I assumed that even though it wasnt done "the right way", I would finally be on the right track and I would be doing good.
Well, was I ever wrong. I tested the water a bit and just mentioned it as a "what if" and the response I got was less than favorable... something along the lines of cop out, for people who havent put any effort in, and its usually people with emotional issues that get that done.
Needless to say that I will not even be telling her what I am doing, and I am okay with that.
I have great support elsewhere and its all I need. What she doesnt know will not hurt her!
Morale of the story, I guess, is that people certainly have their opinions about this, and when it comes down to it, you can never predict who will be against it!
I have only spoken to my husband out, and two of my co-workers; one who has had the surgery herself. I have many acquaintances but not alot of close friends.
I decided I would have the conversation with my Mom, who has always been on my case about weight, since I was in grade six! I assumed that even though it wasnt done "the right way", I would finally be on the right track and I would be doing good.
Well, was I ever wrong. I tested the water a bit and just mentioned it as a "what if" and the response I got was less than favorable... something along the lines of cop out, for people who havent put any effort in, and its usually people with emotional issues that get that done.
Needless to say that I will not even be telling her what I am doing, and I am okay with that.
I have great support elsewhere and its all I need. What she doesnt know will not hurt her!
Morale of the story, I guess, is that people certainly have their opinions about this, and when it comes down to it, you can never predict who will be against it!
Well good for you that you have done the research and shared. I get that you have finally reached your limitations and are considering WLS (weight loss surgery). I have had similar reactions like why don't you just commit to weigh****chers after all I have lost 40 pounds and you can do that too! I met a young woman . age 22. who has had the surgery Nov. 2012 and was at her highest weight of 370. She had bypass surgery and has lost 170 lbs in 6 mos. I am just a young age of 61 and thank goodness that I qualified for the surgery and am anxiously awaiting my surgery date after having some appointments at Humber River in Toronto. I wish that this option had been available to me years ago without living the life of obesity and all that goes with it. Be true to yourself and know that you are your best advocate.
Nancy
Nancy
JJ_
on 6/23/12 11:52 am
on 6/23/12 11:52 am
Welcome to the ignorance factor about WLS. I spoke with certain people about having surgery, and I know that they told two friends and so on and so on. The people I have spoken with, family included have all been supportive, at least to my face! LOL
You will meet with the behaviourist or psychologist at some point in all your appointments. They will want to discuss the support that you have. This forum is one of those avenues of support. We are behind you and will support you with virtual hugs and cheers. There are also local support groups in various cities in Ontario. You can get some real hugs too :)
Good luck in your journey Michelle.
Judy
You will meet with the behaviourist or psychologist at some point in all your appointments. They will want to discuss the support that you have. This forum is one of those avenues of support. We are behind you and will support you with virtual hugs and cheers. There are also local support groups in various cities in Ontario. You can get some real hugs too :)
Good luck in your journey Michelle.
Judy
Hi Michelle:
I've decided I'm going to be an open book with everyone who knows me...and, so far the reactions that I've taken the step to be referred for surgery, have ranged from totally supportive, to fear for me, to, "couldn't you just do the post-op diet without actually having surgery"....
I work in the mental health/addictions field, and I KNOW that people, in general, do not yet view compulsive eating/obesity in the same way that drugs/alcohol addictions are viewed. Personally, I think it's the worst addiction to have - we all have to eat to live, but we don't have to drink or do drugs to live. It's like saying an alcoholic should be able to sit and sip only 1/2 of their drink 3 or 4 times a day and be surrounded by others who are drinking all day long....
anyway...that's my rant about it....people may change how they respond to you once they get used to the idea of the surgery and see what it does in your life...
I've decided I'm going to be an open book with everyone who knows me...and, so far the reactions that I've taken the step to be referred for surgery, have ranged from totally supportive, to fear for me, to, "couldn't you just do the post-op diet without actually having surgery"....
I work in the mental health/addictions field, and I KNOW that people, in general, do not yet view compulsive eating/obesity in the same way that drugs/alcohol addictions are viewed. Personally, I think it's the worst addiction to have - we all have to eat to live, but we don't have to drink or do drugs to live. It's like saying an alcoholic should be able to sit and sip only 1/2 of their drink 3 or 4 times a day and be surrounded by others who are drinking all day long....
anyway...that's my rant about it....people may change how they respond to you once they get used to the idea of the surgery and see what it does in your life...
January 8th, 2013 - VSG with Dr Paul Sullivan (St Joe's Toronto)
Yes, I work in the counselling field myself.
They may get used to it and have a differnt reaction the more they do get used to it, but I guess it isnt that I am a private person at all, i am always the one to be over the top open about everything..... but not this time.
I am grateful for the support I have in my inner circle and I think this forum will help alot too.
Thanks for the insight :)
They may get used to it and have a differnt reaction the more they do get used to it, but I guess it isnt that I am a private person at all, i am always the one to be over the top open about everything..... but not this time.
I am grateful for the support I have in my inner circle and I think this forum will help alot too.
Thanks for the insight :)
Hi,
I had done the same with my in-laws, and got a response that wasn't overly supportive, so I didn't tell them about the surgery until I was on Optifast. I didn't feel like getting another lecture about how I should be living my life. They ended up being supportive (with a little help from my Mom), and things have turned out alright. I didn't tell many people before surgery, but am an open book now. But you'll find the ignorant are around pre and post surgery.
Like you, I got to the point where I couldn't keep doing what I was doing, and nothing had really worked up until then. You're Mom will probably be alright after surgery, or if you feel you need her support, take her to a couple classes, or to a support group. Give her more true knowledge to work with.
This is also a great site with a number of great people, all who will support you through this if you let them.
Cathy
I had done the same with my in-laws, and got a response that wasn't overly supportive, so I didn't tell them about the surgery until I was on Optifast. I didn't feel like getting another lecture about how I should be living my life. They ended up being supportive (with a little help from my Mom), and things have turned out alright. I didn't tell many people before surgery, but am an open book now. But you'll find the ignorant are around pre and post surgery.
Like you, I got to the point where I couldn't keep doing what I was doing, and nothing had really worked up until then. You're Mom will probably be alright after surgery, or if you feel you need her support, take her to a couple classes, or to a support group. Give her more true knowledge to work with.
This is also a great site with a number of great people, all who will support you through this if you let them.
Cathy
(deactivated member)
on 6/24/12 12:32 am - Guelph, Canada
on 6/24/12 12:32 am - Guelph, Canada
My mom and my mom know... and kids and hubby...
My dad and my sister have no idea I dont need to hear how lazy I am (note my dad is over 350 lbs and had to weigh himself on the vet scale cause the Drs. scale would not go high enough)
I didnt want to hear how I am a stupid woman.. who cares what we look like right? (nevermind the fact that I did this for my health)
I didnt want to hear from my sister (who is a RN BTW) that all I had to do was eat less and get off the damn computer.
so we tell who we need to for support
My dad and my sister have no idea I dont need to hear how lazy I am (note my dad is over 350 lbs and had to weigh himself on the vet scale cause the Drs. scale would not go high enough)
I didnt want to hear how I am a stupid woman.. who cares what we look like right? (nevermind the fact that I did this for my health)
I didnt want to hear from my sister (who is a RN BTW) that all I had to do was eat less and get off the damn computer.
so we tell who we need to for support
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