All my friends are obese

I have been freed from SSMO knowing the pain of the biggest-of-the-big.  Figuring out why I did what I did for so long will probably die with me because I don't know.  What I do know is might be wise for me to forever reserve judgment on others.

Sometimes I have a hard time watching my husband eat now without noticing the portion sizes and getting a bit nauseous.  Seeing him eat the way I did for decades looks so foreign now. I don't judge him for it but I do see it and think "Wow I am so grateful I am not doing that anymore." I also notice what people in restaurants are eating.  So many baskets of chips or bread rolls before their meal even arrives! And I think, "Yeap...that was me.  I had no idea what I was really doing."

It reminds me of my second post op visit when I noticed that my diagnosis code for my surgery was, "Morbidly Obese Due to Excess Calories." I saw that and thought, "Oh crap!  Wow.  YES!  That really is why I was so big!" I had a million different explanations in my head for so many years and had never really seen the calories=pounds connection.  Now it seems so obvious but years of food addiction had colored my understanding of food.

I am only 9 months out from surgery.  I figure I will notice it less over time. So thankful to be healthier and happier now. 

~Elizabeth

When I see people eat excessive amounts of food, it makes me feel ill. I know I was that way pre-op but I can't help it now. It literally makes me feel nauseous.