What's on your Monday Menu, RNYers?

Good morning! How was everyone's weekend? Mine was great. I went to a gorgeous beach on Cape Cod on Saturday. I got a little burnt in a few spots (whoops) but it was such a lovely day. Grim and I are also working on a big house project of our own. We gutted two rooms to the studs and just installed a giant picture window overlooking our lawn. It looks gorgeous! There is a lot left to do, but step one came out perfectly.

Holy crap, it is going to be 103 degrees today in Massachusetts! We almost never get over 95 and even those days are pretty rare, so it's gonna be a "scortcha" as we say around here! I have my yearly appointment with the nutritionist and will be getting my labs drawn. Then I need to find a way to stay inside! I might go for a mani-pedi and get myself to a mall or something. Tonight we will try to beat the heat at a movie theater.

Accountability: Perfecto.

QOTD: Do you have a regional accent? I joked about the Boston accent, but I don't really have one. If I am super overtired I drop my Rs here and there but that's about it. Grim has a much stronger traditional Boston accent and I love it :)

Good morning all! This weekend went way too fast. Saturday we got up early and ran errands so we could be home and watch World Cup football. We watched several games and did things around the house on the breaks. I vacuumed two rooms for the first time since PS. It really needed it and felt good to get it accomplished.

Sunday, we met my family for a Father's Day lunch. I think my stepfather and brother enjoyed being the center of attention.

That brings me to my question, have you had unwanted sexual attention since you lost weight? How have you handled it? When I was overweight, that never happened and now I'm not exactly sure what to do without causing a "scene." Thanks!

I have another appointment this afternoon with my PS and hope I will be released for more activity, even swimming!

Accountability: I've been really munchy this weekend with all of the TV watching, but I've had Chomps and jerky for snacks so at least it was protein.

Menu:

B1: coffee, vanilla Premier Protein shake

B2: ham, hard boiled egg

Snack: Cappuccino protein shake, blueberries, cashews

Lunch: chicken breast, baby carrots

Snack: Chomps, apple

Dinner: not sure, maybe shrimp

Good luck with the doc, fingers crossed on the swimming!

On your question, I'm still pretty new at this so no, haven't had anything like that happen but given I am at the changing the subject anytime someone tells me "oh you look great" because I'm so uncomfortable about it, I don't think that will go well if it happens in the future, lol. I hope you are not being mistreated or made uncomfortable, that is not a good situation.

Yes I definitely experienced a lot more attention after losing weight. It's weird--at first I wondered if I was making it up, but I am sure now that it is real that glances linger a lot longer than they used to and in different places. I was in a meeting last summer with a man from another company and he was just leering at my body. It's as close as I have ever come to yelling "MY EYES ARE UP HERE, BUDDY".

I have also had two really inappropriate indecent proposals from drunk men on the street. They were obviously not being too picky so I am not sure if my weight factored in or not, but I had never been offered a hotel room on the street when I was overweight... Ugh, men.

The attention: that can be really uncomfortable. I had a few encounters that made me very uncomfortable. But depends what it is - the way to handle that can be different.

A comment - if the comments are more inocent- I say "thank you", and move on.

If the comments are very sexual - I may tell the person "I am sure you don't mean harm, but the "XYZ" comment you just made make me very uncomfortable. Please don't do/say it again ". If that does not help - you may need to either report it (if it is happening in a work environment) or just "slug" the person.

For more "touching, physical actions" - I just get very firm and tell that person to back off or else. Unwanted touching can be viewed as sexual assault. That never goes well ....

I once slap a person who patted my behind while telling me that I need to work on it. My reflexes took over and before I knew the guy was red-faced, appologizing for his stupidity. I was furious. And it showed. I did not mean to get physical, but the butt-slap triggered my reaction and reflexes (PTSD).

I find most of the extra attention, like running to open the door for me, to be either funny or annoying. Just because I am a "pretty" woman in a dress doesn't make me helpless and in need of aid.

The present situation involves a family member who has a history of touching, grabbing and completely inappropriate hugging. It seems like my new body makes him think that I am fair game for his attention. If it were happening at work or in a public setting with a stranger, I would be very tempted to slug him. Because it is in the family, I am trying to figure out how not to make a scene but to also stay safe.

I refuse to let my new healthy body become the object of sexual advances!

Edited to add: I also refuse to feel guilty because I have lost weight and have a body that is more healty!

If that is family member you don't want to approach personally - how about getting someone else involved?

Someone who can be your advocate - tell the other person that his/hers actions make you uncomfortable?

That may do 2 things - letting the perv aware that you have no problem confronting them plus adding a witness and a mediator to the mix. Is there anyone in the family you can trust to handle that?

again - the line "I know you don't mean disrespect, but when you do/say XYZ I get very uncomfortable. Please don't do/say XYZ". And if they shrug it off - get serious, and next time they get too "touchy" tell them in a loud voice (that anyone around can hear) "I asked you not to do that".

If nothing else - that should take care of things.

For years I tried to be "nice person". Unfortunately some people take advantage of "a nice person".

I hope you get a go on swimming. Then you can really feel like yourself!

I am pretty old (63), so the most I get is that I look "beautiful ". I just reply "thank you".

Thanks Liz. I agree that compliments are nice and can make you feel good and I just say thank you. I just didn't expect to have to deal with grabby hands at 51!

Yeah, that's definitely a little creepy.