How do you approach the subject?

Today on one of our walks today, my husband and I were talking about his mom.  Just losing 75lbs each has made us both WANT to get out and move around, we took a walk 4 different times today, we totaled over 2 miles.  Before surgery that would never have happened.  We felt GOOD getting out in the sunshine and being able to walk  When we have to run errands we don't just go, grab what we need and run out, we want to look around, we are going in stores we have never been to because we were intimidated by the walk from the parking lot to the front door.  It feels great!  We feel great and we are just at the tip of our journey. 

My MIL is overweight, she also has a large hernia that needs to be fixed.  She has been to one surgeon several years ago who said they can't to WLS because of the hernia and can't repair the hernia beacuse of her weight.  So she gave up on the idea of WLS.   Well, that surgeon is just not one I would even take my dog to frankly because of a bad experiance personally and that my step mother had.  The surgeon my husband and I used is WONDERFUL and has said he has worked on patients much larger than my MIL and I really think she should get at the very least a second opinion.  The few times we have suggested that, in the early stages of our journey she had 10 different excuses.

I don't want to be one of those "preachy" people who have had WLS and who think any and everyone should have it, but I do honestly think her quality of life would improved dramatically.  She is in an electric scooter thing and 100% reliant on it, she can't drive, and rarely gets out of the house and can't even buy her own groceries.  She is easily 200lbs overweight and I just think it would be worth getting a second opinion. 

How do you go about suggesting that?  I have asked my husband to try and talk to her about it but he doesn't want to.  He says once she sees a huge difference in us maybe she'll talk about it, but right now he wont start the conversation.  

What do you guys think?  Should I just shut my mouth and keep my opinion to myself and let him bring the subject up when he gets ready or keep nudging him to do it sooner?  Should I just keep my nose out of it completely?  I really do just want her to have a better life.  

Honestly, I would let her bring it up. If she is seeing how well you two are doing, she may even make some kind of off handed remark about how she wishes she could do it, and that could be your cue to jump in with "ah, but you can!"

I would be very careful about being the first one to mention someone else needing the surgery. There's no good way to bring it up without it sounding like an insult.

PS- congrats on all of your success so far!

 I agree with Moonglo 100%

I wouldn't go there. If you really want WLS nothing will discourage you. As WLS people we know the joy of being on the other side and how great life can be. Of course we would never trade our old lives for anything in the world! Yet, there is a process to getting to the point where you want to go through with the surgery and take the risks.

I agree w/your husband; once she sees your dramatic results and if that is what she really wants, she will talk about and seek a second opinion. Or, sometimes people just let that bad experience scare them off and resign to a life of obesity. It's sad but it happens! 

 I agree with the cat. Once she sees the dramatic results she will be asking the questions. I would let sleeping dogs lie. All WLS mean a huge lifestlyle change, eating less...So, unless she is ready to embrass this there is nothing anyone can do to facilitate this change. 

I would talk about the surgery and your experience wth it and say how easy it was to get approved and how they accept all kind of insurance and just act all excited... after she's around you and see's how good you guys are doing but NEVER suggest she have it or make it seem like you're suggesting. Just say how good you feel and how happy you are.

I'm with moonglo! I have noticed that the only people who never comment on my WL are those who are obese. I remember being jealous of a friend when she was losing boatlads of weight with her RNY. Watching her lose all that weight made me feel really down on myself. This is a very personal journey. I'd let her come to you, but in the meantime continue to lead by example!