Checking In...

Hi guys,

I haven't been writing much for many reasons, but I have to admit partly it's because I've been feeling a little down. I have been in one long stall since vacation.  I think I am paying for my higher calories and even though I am back to 750-900 calorie range, I have been bouncing around between 192 and 193 ever since I got back.  I don't like to post unless I have something good to say (nobody likes a whiner!) but I also need to be honest with my struggles, and keep it real (so to speak).

I know what I need to do - I haven't been eating great.  I must cut my carbs, as these have been more like 60-70 g/day, and purge my house of food that has become difficult.  I am having real problems with PB2 which have arisen after vacation - never had a problem before, but now it is talking to me all the time.  I am not happy because it is one major party-in-my-mouth, but it has far too many carbs and now I want it at every meal.  Also problematic are the stupid Fiber Gummies!  I mean, what I nut case I am that I get so excited about my evening Fiber Gummies. 

I am finding this hard to admit, so probably a good thing to be putting it out there!  You know you're on shaky ground when life without PB2 and Fiber Gummies seems scary.

The other thing is that I need to be moving more, and I am struggling with the willingness to do it.  I am doing okay on the Pilates front, but I know it would make a big difference to walk as well.  I have read a number of articles about how people who sit more die earlier - and I am an extreme sitter.

I can put myself in a really bad mood thinking "this is all I'm going to lose!" and then I have to tell myself (again) I can only control what I eat and how much I move.  And as long as I eat right and am satisfied with my food plan, I have no real reason to complain.  I can't get caught up in how fast I'm losing because it's a good excuse to say "screw it."

On the other hand, these are just the normal, every-day problems of a food addict, and at least I have a support system, a food plan, and my WLS to help.  Plus, I *love* how I feel right now, physically.  This isn't a bad place to stall.  I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

Thanks!!

well you sound like you know exactly where you are needing the changes and you know how to implement them. you scare me some with the PB2...I just got some but havent tried it yet.... : ∞ now Im afraid I might like it too much!


you have worked so hard and come so far....YOU GOT THIS. just get rid of those triggers and get back on track...

you're stronger than PB 2 and gummy fibers!!

Marabell - I would tell you to stay away from the PB2, especially early out.  It is on the carby side.  It adds calories and carbs that should be going to protein - even for me, now.  Put it away and save it for later.  It's a long slog to goal, and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my progress in the first 6 months.  That's just me - your mileage may vary.

Also, thank you for your encouragement.  I really, really need to hear it!  I think the problem (for me) is that I'm *not* stronger than the Fiber Gummies and PB2.  So I need to stop playing tug of war and put the rope down!!  Keep reading and posting!

vent away! we're only human... u know what u need to do and U CAN DO IT!!!

U've come so far! keep up the great job!!!

Thanks for your encouragement!  Looks like you're doing great yourself!

anytime!!! & it's relatively easy so far since i dont have the choice of eating yet ( unless i wanna bust my stomach and die ofcourse, lol)... i'm sure once i'm healed and have choices to make it will be a little trickier!

Hi Happy,
We are here to listen. I am also an August sleever & I've been on a stall for a couple weeks too. I have been trying to follow the vets advice and eat 600 calories a day, 80 + grams of protein, 40 grams of carbs, etc... I can pretty much follow the food grams but I've been eating closer to 700-800 most days and sad as it is, it's affecting my weight loss. I guess it's to be expected as we get closer to goal.
I guess we just have to get back to basics, eh? I have been trying to step up my workouts and drink more water. It's hard gurl, I will admit but I'm sure you are right there with me that this is all worth it. I believe you can do it gurl!!!
BTW... your PB2 obsession ... what do you use it for to where you want it for every meal? I just got my first PB2 in the mail because I wanted to try it in my daily chocolate protein shake. I have been hesitating to use anything "extra" since everything bu****er has calories but if PB2 can really make my protein shake taste like chocolate peanut butter, it's worth a shot!
I think you are doing great, keep up the great work!

OK, Jenn, here's my deal with PB2.  I have posted before that I am not a chocolate person.  I *like* chocolate, I could eat pounds of it (certainly fulfills the "sweet and greasy" requirement I seem to have for ultimate trigger foods), but when my mind wanders into thoughts of addictive binge eating, it goes first to peanut butter.  Not peanut butter out of the jar, but peanut butter fudge, peanut butter candy, peanut butter brownies, peanut butter cookies, you get the picture.

What I do with it is reconstitute it and eat it with a spoon.  It is remarkably filling, but nothing lasts more than a couple of hours and it's singing to me again.  It may have half the calories, but that's still a lot, and lots of carbs and they put sugar in it and I should know better.  Thank goodness they don't sell it at the supermarket.

It's usually a big "a-ha" moment for me about a particular food when I start trying to figure out how I could eat it for breakfast.  This is because I don't like to eat *anything* for breakfast, and it's a great place to sneak in an obsessive food because I'm not trading it out for anything else I really like either.

I am going to up the protein and water, and give you guys a report on that in a bit.  Thanks for the encouragement!!

Hey friend,
My heart goes out to you because you are not alone. I'm not in a true stall, but my WL has slowed way, way down for the last two weeks. I have barely lost two pounds these past two weeks and I have to say that I am sort of bummed about it. I've been back and forth between 190 and 190.6 all week long. It's also keeping me away from achieving my next goal of being in the 180s for the first time in over 18 years.

I've decided just to stick to plan because I know if I start second guessing my plan I'll muck it all up.
I'm just staying the course with my 600-800 and below 40 routine. Science says I will have to lose it if I continue in this way.

I was away at a terrier show for 5 days last week and weekend. My hotel was across the street from a frozen yogurt parlor and it called - called far too loudly. I kept it in control, but did I really need that extra 100 calories a day for 4 days straight? NO! Hell, I'm human and it was a choice. I know that. (LOL still won't eat a cookie though, cause I know what will happen!....) What I learned was how quickly a bad habit can be formed. When I got home, I wanted my frozen yogurt fix. SF Jello is once again my pal. I know it makes some gag, but it works for me.

So you've got PB2 and fiber gummies (which kind of cracks me up) as your devils right now. Kick their asses out of the house. Just be done with them. Anyone who can give up recreational sugar for as long as you have has the ability, talent, conviction and determination to dump those two little demons. Just go PB2 free - you don't NEED it. Want, sure - need, no. Go get some Miralax (or generic substitute) and mix it in your protein shake for a while until you can go back to the gummies - or not.
Don't let the little ***** on your shoulder talk you into saying screw it and do what you know you ought not do! This stall is just a rest stop on your journey. It's not the end of the line. You and I have a bit more to go and we'll do it soon enough. Just stay on the damn bus with me!

If you want to move more, you have to commit to it. I don't really like exercise. It's much easier to sit at home on the couch and play on the comp, read or watch the idiot box. I just put it in my daily schedule and keep that hour and a half as sacred time for exercise. I'm used to it now and freakish me likes it more and more (can you say transfer addiction?!). Pick something you like to do and commit to it for next week. Maybe just twice, but do it. You'll feel better for making a promise to yourself and then fullfilling it.

We're having a little heat wave here in CA. I had no shorts, so went and got some today. That made me feel great inside. I'm smaller than I have been since can't remember when. I've gone from a size 40-42 waist in jeans to a size 32 in Wrangler jean shorts. 32 inch jeans have been a long time goal for me. Maybe you could find some sort of NSV to help you through this time.

You have been such an inspiration to me and, I know, many others. Your post was so well timed for me because I've been frustrated with my slowing loss. So thanks. It was good to know that there was someone out there for whom I have respect going through something similar. Wishing you a wonderful, uplifting weekend. Big hug! - D.

((Sniff))

You can't imagine what a smile I had on my face and how touched I was when I saw you'd written me, and written me such a nice long response (seriously).  I know you get me, and I crave that interaction with "my peeps!!"

OK, first I must get right with the food.  I am going to ditch the PB2.  I think I will give it to a friend who eats low-fat.  She liked it, she's not a compulsive overeater.  I will mourn a little but move on.  I have several bottles of generic Fiber Gummies (hey, they were on sale!).  Will cogitate on what to do with them.  None are open.  It might be okay to put them in the freezer.  The freezer wasn't far enough for the Quest bars, but I'm hoping nothing sings as loud as a Quest bar.

Moving...  I want to walk 2+ miles a day, 3 or 4 days a week.  This is so achievable.  I have a dog that begs me to go, it's a beautiful time of year in the neighborhood, and I can do 2 miles easily, at a fast pace.  Impediments... my gf has gradually over the course of our 25 years together turned me into a night-owl.  It is not my normal state, I am a morning person.  I need to get to sleep - in the bed - by 11:00 p.m. to have the willingness to get up at 5:30 and go walk.  I can look at this as an experiment - the going to bed early.  Usually I fall asleep in my chair, then get up and go to bed around 12:30 or 1:00 and then it takes me a bit to fall back to sleep. 

As Brandilynn says, I have to find my willingness and put the work there.

Here's an NSV of sorts.  One of my best friends I met through OA.  She is thin now, and sponsors a mutual friend who is losing a lot of weight (from a start of 350) "the old fashioned way."  She said, "if H can only get below 200 pounds it would be so wonderful."  She meant it like, I'm sure you think that's a really high weight, but should be considered a great success for H.

I said, "How much do you think *I* weigh?  I weigh 193.  That's barely below 200.  Below 200 rocks!!"  I was wearing capris and a pretty form-fitting shirt.  It was priceless to see the look on her face.  She said, "I would have said you weighed 165!!  Are you sure?"  You have to appreciate that one of the ways our mutual disease manifests itself in my thin friend is in a preternatural interest in what other people weigh.  She really needs to take one of those guessing jobs in a carnival.  So, her comment was really uplifting for me, like at least *she* thinks I'm near my goal!

I don't have to weigh 160 to be happy.  I would like to be solidly under 200, though.  Because I don't want to weigh more than 200 pounds ever ever again.

Hugs to you, friend.  We could form our own mutual admiration society.