Happy Surgiversary to Happy!
For all my striving to have an attitude of acceptance, I did spend the last few days a little reluctant to post about my surgiversary because I wasn't at goal quite yet. But I woke up today, weighed in at 167.2 lbs and realized how silly I was being. I also have no new pictures, so I was going to wait until I had some, but who knows when that will be so here goes!
Yay for me! Let's dance!
OK, seriously now. I am a life-long compulsive overeater, food addict, whatever you call it. I don't mean that in a way that "my issues are worse than yours," I just mean that my issues around food are pretty big and I suspect most people coming into WLS have pretty big food issues. I'm not one of these people who got fat because I "like to eat." I got fat because I have a hard-wired tendency to (ab)use food to manage all kinds of things it's not supposed to, starting with my feelings. Certain foods set off big cravings so I avoid them completely (like, recreational sugar, for years, even before surgery), and some foods I still try to eat which I know I should just give up on (Quest protein bars).
I want to say that it is possible to get better, to recover from compulsive overeating, and saying "I'm a compulsive overeater" doesn't remove the responsibility I have for every single thing I put into my mouth. It means, for me, that I am permanently broken in the food department and I have to remember that every day. It means that even when I *am* doing better, I will still hear a voice - that monkey on my back - telling me all sorts of lies about food to get me to eat. It doesn't mean I'm not getting better, it just means I have to remember that the monkey is going to continue to tell me lies about food and I have to be vigilant. I was going to write a longer post, but I just thought I'd end with the "things I tell myself every day" and "lies the monkey tells me." I swear to you, I hear the monkey every day. Not always loud, not always the same thing, but he's there, every day. And most days I can just let him chatter and not feel like I have to do anything about it.
THINGS I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY (SELF TALK)
A good plan followed imperfectly for the long term will work.
Clean eating is its own reward.
I can only control my attitude.
I cannot control how much I weigh. I can only control what I eat and how I move.
It is none of my business what other people think about me.
This is not the army, I can eat absolutely anything I chose to.
Food will not make a bad situation better.
I can eat again in X hrs.
No one died of hunger between breakfast and lunch.
LIES THE MONKEY TELLS ME
You'll never get this right, you might as well eat that.
You deserve to eat that.
You'll feel better if you eat that.
People will think you're weird if you don't eat that.
You'll insult them if you don't eat that.
You can have just one this time, like a normal person.
If nobody knows, you can eat that.
You'll never get a chance to eat that again.
Cheers to all! It's a great journey. Promise I'll do pictures at goal!!
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206 
If I can get better, you can get better. I have had to humble myself and be teachable. I have tried to be honest about my food struggles because I know I am not alone. You can be successful, too! Find people who have what you want, and ask how they got it.
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206
You have done so well and I love that you have been so honest and upfront about food and the role that it may play in our lives.
Thank you! I actually feel like a success today (like you are, I might add!). I have to be honest or I won't get better!! My happiness today is sitting in my new size L t-shirt getting ready for my 3rd Pilates class of the week. Yay for VSG!
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206
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