Relationship after WLS
They said if you had a great relationship prior to WLS it gets even better...if you had a bad one it gets worse. Well in my case I thought it was good but looking back I think my self esteem was low and I put up with alot of things that now I just wont. Its not a bad thing for me moving forward but I am in a little chaos right now and not sure how to handle it. I will take it one day at a time...I am sure he is feeling insecure now as I shed the pounds and look better everyday. What I do know is that WLS has made me stronger and have more confidence...I just needed to vent thanks for listening :)
No worries. My husband and I were living separately before my surgery. Suddenly he became interested in working things out and now has done a 180. I am in the process of getting myself moved into an apartment. Can't handle taking care of myself and dealing with all the emotions that linger in our shared home. The depression, loneliness, feeling of abandonment etc. So I am going to be moving into an apartment and he is going to be moving back into our home. If you two haven't started seeing a counselor I would recommend doing so. Right now, I only want to meet with my husband with a third unbiased party involved. But see a counselor to help YOU work on your issues.
Laura
Something you have to keep in mind in weighing what is going on in your relationship is with WLS you become a very selfish person. Not intentionally or maliciously but you suddenly are thrown into a situation where you have to constantly think about yourself. Are you eating the right thing, are you eating the right amount, did you take your vitamins, are you drinking enough water, etc. When you are not thinking about that, you are researching foods, you are spending time on here, you are going to the gym, you are weighing yourself, you are looking at yourself in the mirror, you are complaining about the sagging **** all over your body. It becomes all about you from the pre-op diet until you reach your goal. When you go out you get all the attention because you have done this "amazing" thing. The other person in the relationship can feel a bit left out. I make it a point to periodically thank my wife for dealing with this. Not that I haven't had to deal with her crap for years, but I realize that I went from a completely unselfish person to a very selfish person and nothing has changed in 5 months.
My point is, get your significant other involved with what you are doing. Watch the food network together, research recipes together and decide what you want to try. Remember how much of their lives change because you decided to have this surgery. Make sure to make them a part of it, listen to them and hear them. Make them a part of what you are going through. For one it will strengthen your relationship and 2 you might get some help along the way.
Excellent advice Keith!
Ht 5'0" /Consult Wt: 214 /Surg Wt: 205 /Goal Wt: 125 / Current Wt: 119
